Hokey Okay - Experiences with the mental health teams 
 

The police bring you in, next thing you’re out,

In out in out, fucks your head about,

They do the okay okay and turn you around,

Claiming that your mindsets sound!

Woahhh you’re okay okay,

Noooo, ill chokey chokey,

Woahhh, you’re okay okay

Head hurts, alarms sound ah ah ah

Then you’re back in again, out ...

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Am I losing it?

searches are scarier lately,

Trying to find a way out.

I couldn't had been more petty,

Been listening to the sound of crickets,

All I could remember are rickets in my life.

But what history has ever changed?

I feel like I have been here before,

Subtle signs at a young age,

Just the same page with a different number.

Can't tell the storyline perfec...

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Can you hear it?

Listen carefully now

Pay attention as the neck snaps

Before you snap and lose it.

Do you hear it slit?

Before you split,

To your misery.

Enjoy your seconds of misery

Joy will find you in mystery.

It's all scenery and gore in your head.

Hearts heavy you don't rest.

You wanna die not by your hand,

They won't blame you if you die.

List...

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What humanity needs is to take some acid,

Take a tab kick back and get blasted,

There's more to this world than what our eyes can see,

The first time I took acid it truly set me free,

I had never in my life experienced joy like that before,

I have never been that happy in life I am sure,

Then I had a realization and tears poured down my face,

I didn't want to leave that blissf...

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I was better off feeling dead
Than feeling alive.
I was better off feeling low
Than on this false height.

I was better afraid of the dark
Than afraid to open my eyes.
I was better afraid of cutting myself
Than scared to survive.

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My mind is screaming for this pain to stop.
You say I am cold, but I am burning up
Inside.
There is so much noise I'm surprised you can't hear.
It is creeping through my skin.
Dripping, with the sweat, from my hair.

How can I think of anything else?
The mind reels to this deafening pulse.
And I am near to breaking.
Thinking of taking the quickest way out,
And then you say I should stop...

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If you are going to kill yourself
Someone is going to find you.
Do you want that?
You are trying to die, I might wish you success,
But for what?
So you don't like it how it is,
Do you think anyone does?
But it is better to change, than destroy...

              Oh my god, I can't carry on like this.
              Not each day the same same thing!
              You want me to wait,
    ...

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Got that Bob Marley “every little thing” playing in my head. 

Whilst thinking about all those whose belittled me, replaying what they said. 

My emotions wreaking havoc, and it’s starting to spread.

Infected with anxiety whilst living in this dread.

Feeling like the only cure is the liberation of being dead.

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Loving you hurts

There are mornings I wake up, wondering if you survived the night

Hoping and praying that you didn't hurt yourself

Knowing that you probably

I worry I don't do enough

That I don't tell how much you mean to me enough

Waking up crying because I dreamt you had died

And it felt so real

If I could do anything to make stop your pain I would

But I'm p...

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5th grade was my downfall

Anxiety coupled with A.D.D

Made for the perfect broken marriage.

6th grade was calm.

I had everything under control

And I was taking medication

But 7th grade was morbid.

A child,

One only the devil could produce,

Had arrived with the diseased name

Of Depression.

8th grade was the year Depression made friends

Suicidal Tho...

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