When I was young, we used to live in Yorkshire

Except, for some reason, our bit was called the West Riding

I assume there were also North, South and East one’s too

No fun at all, but required, I assume, so as to maintain geographical equality

Some people just seem to have no imagination

If I was in charge of giving things names

I’d have called them things...

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10 grey pigeons cooing on the wall

10 grey pigeons cooing on the bloody wall

If I’m really any kind of shot at all

There’ll only be 9 grey pigeons cooing on the wall

10 grey pigeons still cooing on the wall

5 in the morning, do they ever sleep at all?

10 sodding pigeons still cooing on the wall

It seems the trusty air-rifle actually missed them all

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