Life in a Small cul-de-sac (Not poetry per se, but a bit of fun I hope)

Life continues to be exciting in our small cul-de-sac. This evening saw the incident of the "blue-bin falling over". This brought everyone out to check and whilst the bin remained like an upside-down turtle, we pondered (whilst standing in the 50 mph winds) what could have caused such a disaster? It was finally decided...

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Needy?

I didn't think I was needy

Craved companionship

But maybe I was wrong

I was outside

Having a crafty fag

In the wind and rain

And looked over the road

At the cat on the windowsill

In the warm

And I gave him a wave.

Hope no-one was looking

that would be weird

But perhaps I am needy

and need companionship.

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Why?

I am a professor of profanity
A doctor of banality
No master of subtlety
Which is such a tragedy
Despite the incongruity
I am not the Lord Almighty
Most agree with this, very happily
But I am sad about that actually
Agreed, I am too sleazy
Make most people feel queasy
But when it comes to poetry
I find it just comes naturally
To me, at least, it comes easily
Especially when ev...

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1.      Dam

It is a dam

It is going to burst

Holding it for now

But it will burst

Tears will flow

Frustration will surface

Anger hidden away

Only want some peace

No hope, no self-esteem

No confidence

Not my usual self

Clever not dense

The dam will burst

Of that I am sure

Don’t know when

What will open the door

I just want ...

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1.      The Queen

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

Hiding under your car

Where I can’t be seen

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

Digging up next doors garden

Leaving proof of where I have been

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

Tried to get a train to London

But no joy, didn’t have a bean

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Whe...

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1.      Sleeping bag

My Inkjet printer
has run out of ink.
My Laptop battery
has run out of juice.

My sunglasses are broken
keep slipping off my nose.
My bus pass is useless
run out of credit again.

My pockets are empty
apart from a hanky and 63p.
The bank account in the red
no hope there then.

Dread the arrival of the postman
never any good news there.
My trainers have...

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1.      Dirt

Staring down at three fresh mounds of soil

Rain running down the collar of my shirt

Tears gently rolling down across my cheeks

As I stare uncomprehending at the dirt

Three lives gone, taken from me forever

Leaving behind, a shell of a man and a mountain of hurt

Lost in my memories and my inner thoughts

Staring blankly at the freshly turned dirt

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1.      Unusual places

I think of things

In the most unusual places

I thought of this

Whilst I was tying my laces

Others I’ve penned

A few, disturbingly, whilst sitting on the loo

They seemed to turn out alright

I just hope you thought so too

One sprang to mind

While I was brushing my hair

That proved a knotty one to finish

But I eventually got th...

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1.      The Queen

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

Hiding under your car

Where I can’t be seen

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

Digging up next doors garden

Leaving proof of where I have been

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Where have you been?

Tried to get a train to London

But no joy, didn’t have a bean

Pussy cat, pussy cat

Whe...

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Big fat ones
Little white ones
Digging ever deeper
Trying to remember
Which were big and
which were little and white
Can't remember now
Gonna come unstuck
That's the thing with lies
Once you start
You cannot stop.

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1.      Dirt

Staring down at three fresh mounds of soil

Rain running down the collar of my shirt

Tears gently rolling down across my cheeks

As I stare uncomprehending at the dirt

Three lives gone, taken from me forever

Leaving behind, a shell of a man and a mountain of hurt

Lost in my memories and my inner thoughts

Staring blankly at the freshly turned dirt

I s...

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1.      My basement empire

The boss came down to my dimly-lit kingdom

My box-filled basement, my filing-room empire

And shoved this morning’s list of demands

Across the desk at me

“By 9:30 please”

“Yes Sir”

He surveyed my empire,

As if seeing it for the first time

Pointing to a set of boxes, he said:

“What’s in those?

The one’s labelled ‘Crackers’”

“Th...

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1.      Shopping

Was doing some window shopping

As you do

On a quiet Sunday

Before you get your monthly pay

And then there she was

Completely stark bollock-naked!

Well, you know what I mean

For it was a She that I seen

She had a great figure

A lovely, healthy skin-tone

Although, not much hair

But, if I had to guess, it would be fair

Should...

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1.      Inspiration

With my pen

Tapping a rhythm on my teeth

Sounds better than it feels.

Clicking the nib of my pen

In and out, In and out

Slightly annoying

But, oddly, very satisfying

Those damn Beavers

They have blocked the flow

Words and rhymes have all dried up.

Staring, unseeing, out the window

Spinning around on my swivel-chair

Which, whilst child...

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Sorry if I appear like the BBC, stupid repeats and all of that, but just having fun.  Hey poetry people, it IS allowed.  Sorry.

1.      I wish

Lots of words seem to end in ‘ish’

I think some are made-up, like easy-ish

But wait a minute, let’s not get too childish

And appear for one moment that I am being churlish

Some of them confuse me, like pigfish

Which is it?  A pig o...

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This is where is started for me in 2015 with a smashed up ankle and lots of time to think.  I enjoyed it and still do, but a job would be pretty handy too.  Ho Hum.  Sorry to bore you if you have read it before, just was a good reminder to self....

1.      My Garden

Shall I let you into a secret?

I’ve got fairies at the end of my Garden

Yes, it’s true but Shh! Don’t let anyone know

...

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1. On a train

Sat on the train

Which is going the wrong way

Away from where I want to be

But no chance that I can stay

Staring, unseeing

Out of the grimy window

Thoughts free-wheeling

Don’t really want to go

But go I must

Despite my heartfelt wishes

Leaving behind those I care for

And not even any parting kisses

Still, life must go on

L...

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1.      Poetic licence

Some poems are fun

Make me laugh and snigger

Some poems are sad

These are no laughing matter

Some poems are long

Some just right, others far, far too long

Some poems are short

Now they’re a relief

Some poems are tragic

Old Will the Bard was good at those I think

Some poems make no sense

I’m pretty good at those myself

Some poems ar...

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The first milestone for me

was when I was only three

walked to the end of the garden

and scraped my knee

but then, I was only three

The second milestone for me

was when I was twenty-three

Enrolled in the Civil Service

to serve queen and country

a jolly good pension and all for free

The third, and last, milestone for me

was reaching eighty-three

walked ...

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