I feel like I'm here all alone
There's people here beside me
I know they don't love me
I'm just a wallflower listening to the conversations

If I fade into my mind I'll find hate
Not for anyone here but just myself
I'm in the city of drug addicts
Broken and all alone 

I've overdosed myself on love
Now I'm paying that the price in blood
I could get addicted to drugs  
That wouldn't fi...

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True pain is a collective of thoughts
That you cannot forget
With that the lack of motivation to better yourself
Is heavy like an anchor your sink to the bottom
Only there you can find true happiness
Don't get me wrong it's years of being down there 
The melancholy had a invulnerable hold to my trepid body
Pruned and brittle to the thoughts to my head
Only to remind myself that I was doing...

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Your a cosmic space boy floating in the infinite
At the same time you're in a coffee shop
Waiting for her to get finish dressed
As a smile overcomes your face
She's nothing like ex's she's everything you wanted

You can imagine cold brew coffee 
In the morning with her and always bringing her breakfast
These are thoughts that has happened
They are not present day anymore

Nowadays you'r...

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This is the longest I've been single
I'm scared of dying alone
I can't move on I have to wait for her
Not because of a promise
She's the only one has ever motivated me

She makes me want to be a better man
With her beside me I can face the world
So I'll wait for her even if she doesn't come back
At least I can say I truly love someone and was truly faithful to her

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Look at me 
I don't know myself at all
When I sleep I dream of you

Look at me 
Self harming again like it's all okay
Don't hold it against me but I hate myself

Look at me 
She's too good for me
I'm a nobody going nowhere

Look at you 
So unaware of how beautiful you are
When you sleep do you dream of me?

Because I dream of you all the time
You are my Firefly my hope for a bette...

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I'm an antisocial pessimist
Missing an antidote with a face of an angel 
You can tell all your friends that you killed a boy

I'm still stuck in the past
I wanted us to last
You found another man 
My heart broke like glass

So you'll find the metaphor in the words I'm saying
I'll play my heart like a violin until the strings break
I was playing the music for you this whole time
So why ...

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The lack of passion in my voice today
Has rattled the bones of my ancestors
So if I drown myself in these awful thoughts
I don't think the vivid colors can tell stories
When your seeing them from a blind man's eyes

Even in the deepest dry wells
I've been trying to drown myself
Thinking of you in a evening gown
So put the water gun in my mouth and let's commit watercolors

Would I be a ...

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It's a cold rainy day in hell
Two feet under my bed 
Where time finds a way to stop
I have a fear I'll start self-harming again

Then my demon start yelling at me
I know that I could fall back into that deep end
All these razor blades are full of dry blood now
I suppress the feel to self-herm 

I just got to remind myself
There was a time that I didn't want it
You were the door that I ...

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You can't tell me a sad waiting story 
When I wrote the book on it
Do you know how long
I've been here waiting on her
It feels like forever but I could wait longer
Just come back before I'm old and lose all my teeth
My friends tell me that I'm making a mistake
I don't give a damn I know who I love
I'll fight for her until the day I die

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I miss the days when I actually enjoyed living
Now there is a haze of loneliness
Gasping for air is not an option anymore
I kind of feel like I wanna be alone all my life
I still need you so please don't go away

Why don't you just go find some other girl who won't hurt you?
Because I love you. -No Strings Attached
Related with this thing so much I started crying.

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Twinkle twinkle little star
I've relapsed again and the blood is all I have left
I know I could wreck a car
My mind's been aching with stress
This melancholy has an apathy over me
I've been drowning myself in Smirnoff
I may go far in life but your always be my forever 
That's what mostly kills me inside
I'll never be your forever and only 
I'm just a boy who loves you the most
P.S. Ex So...

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You've kept your distance
I've kept my promise to you
Home is another place we can't go
So you can deny your feelings
I'll keep giving you sweet words 
That has you second-guessing
I know it seems purposely malicious
I never wanted any harm to you
Can you please not let me wait till the end
Home is another place we can't go
So bury the kisses in the backyard
I'll finish off the liquor

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I'm really sleepy but in my sleepiness
All I can think about is her and how much I miss her
I may not know where I'm going
What I do know is I found love in her eyes
In this cafe for two 
I'm the only one with lonely eyes missing you
So I may be broken, some would say I'm shattered
I'll always wait for you I promise you that
The one thing I know about a firefly is
They love coffee and I a...

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Can you give me a reason 
To call this paranoia not theories I'm made in head
I swear to any God that you believe in
I've been like this for as long as I can remember
Don't hug me I'm afraid of human attachment
No one should love me 
I've been doing awful things to everyone who's loved me

Swear I need to fix my broken mind
How can I fix things that I didn't break
It's all my fault I let...

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Has the cold winter air pierced through my body
With thoughts choking on you
My body becomes numb 
The memories of you come flooding in
Boards under my feet start to crackle
The pressure of your memories flooding my apartment
Like a child getting hurt for the first time the pain is unbearable
I could lock myself in the bathroom but the pain is still there
There's no running from the dire s...

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Give me another screwdriver
I envision you in front of me
A smile comes across my face
My love I'll give you everything I have
Just so I could wake up and see you there
I smell the liquor on your breath it's intoxicating
The reality is life has dealt me a cruel existence
When I wake up I'll be without you and last night was just in my head

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He was suicidal from the day you came in this world
Something happened when he met her
He wanted to start his life and give her something more
Now she's gone and he's wishing for death

He stabbed himself to feel something
More than a gaping hole in his heart
The agony has him falling over his feet
Drink some more it's not going to fix the situation
Everyone whispers behind his back
They...

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I can never understand how you lie to me
Then you acted like it's all okay
I tried to always be there for you
You treated me like I wasn't good enough
I still love you and that's the worst part of this
You did so many things I was still faithful
I'm a broken Soul that's always crying now

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The sweet embrace of your bones on me
Has me thinking of death and decay
There's no King to the lighter this no source to the light
So they talked about how it become delighted
How I lost it in the same season

There was love from me 
There's no desire for you to keep it up
So pour the gasoline on the bridge
Light it on fire but I'll keep building it

I've been trying to hide my desires
...

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I found a picture of the hickey I left on your neck
I was always leaving them there
To make every guy know that you were my girl
That summer was the greatest of my life
Now a head full of heartbreak is what I have left
That new year I overdosed on pills 
My body wildly convulsing on the bathroom floor
200 Cuts and a broken rib later I still love you as much as I did then

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Everyone thinks I'm so depressed
Yes it's true I struggle with depression everyday
I don't do good in social environments
No one ever took the time to get to know me
Thank you dad for raising your son

Tori taught me not to plan anything
Firefly taught me patience
Emily taught how to have a backbone
April taught me love Rip little lady 

Right now I'm trying to figure out what 
I want ...

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I tried to sell my soul but I was already Hell bound
So don't be sad that I'm not coming home
I remember sweet chopstick and blood on your lips
Does he write music like I do?

Can you imagine if I actually tried it?
I told you I could get out of this town if I wanted
I'm just good drowning all alone here
I don't blame you for leaving
Even if I miss your kisses

I just worry about you is...

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I made an oath in until I die I'll stick to it
Even if I have to drag my limp body through this existence
I'll always be here when you need me
I promised you forever until the end
So kick me make me feel like shit if it makes you happy
Don't talk to me for months and months and make me worry about you 24/7
I haven't missed a night telling you goodnight beautiful
I may be losing time and my ...

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Hi, I’m sad. What’s your name?
I don’t know what it’s like to not feel broken and alone
even my soul is tired
I’m not trying to be difficult I swear
Why do I and people I love pick people that treat us like we’re nothing?

It keeps getting stronger and growing like a virus with no cure it’s unstoppable
What if I never love again?
Sleeping is the only thing that can make me feel happiness
...

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Oh Space Cowboy you are home
Mother has missed you so much
It was Mother's void that pulled you back here
You no longer have to shoot your way to victory
Mother is only love from the sea 
Just talk to the man from the lighthouse 
Always waiting for love 

The Sleeper has buried himself 
Into the core of the Earth
Fascinating letters from above
Also time assuming you'll find in love
So ...

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Drifting through life 
In a empty husk of a body
The soul was made from religion
Don't let them know that I need 
Her like a body need water

Smile I'm leaking out love
If I'm not good enough for you
Then I'll cut my body from oxygen
Please stop torturing me 
Your my symphony I've been work on for years 

I wouldn't bother you if my love was a lie
Don't take cloudy moons over clear vo...

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Has time flows into death's hold over you
The innocence of your life start to show
Yesterday is something you can't have back
The moments that happen then it's just that
The most beautiful lies is death is your enemy
Without it there is no life to treasure
There is no love, no hope and no life 
Death is the end of the adventure

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You talk so cold and precise
Verbally I can't express myself
Body language alone would tell you I'm a nervous mess
So can I extract my dirty secrets to you?
Just for you can stab me in the back

I should have known better
Did the predictable thing and fell over heels
Tell the mortgage cremate my body
When the Equinox comes for me
She defines hope in my eyes

Please keep the tone of you...

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How much longer do I have here
In the name of love 
The road is stone cold
I've been bashing my knees on 
Grey skies and blood moons

Sapphire blue eyes in my nightmares
They fade from existence
A bottle of liquor can change your life forever
Who would think biennium and a whole lot of bad decisions
Has left me here believing in nothing good 

How much longer do I have here
Until my m...

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Sitting in a bathtub full of pinkish water 
A razor blade in one hand
A head full of excuses in the other hand
This is nothing new you have been like this since birth
They told you life would get better but your 20 something
Thinking about suicide how much easier it would be
Remember when I told you things would get better
This is being mentally ill before you knew what it was
Runaway from...

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It's been two years 
Since I could say 
I was truly happy
Two days we slept away 
In each other's hands
Is just a memory of my happy ending
I had my chance to die happy
I decided to live for her
No lying there's a part of me that gave up
I should leave this life behind and focus on death
I have 1 year and 10 months left 
When you look back you 
Just know I loved you  
I waited until t...

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I lost my shadow and you can't
You can't love me 
You can't hold me 
You can't feel my lips
You can't be with me
That means I can't 
I can't wipe your tears away
I can't hold you 
I can't be anything but transparent
I told you love always will
Sometime it's a word away form the sea
You're not coming back in a boat
So why am I waiting in a lighthouse
I promise I'll be here when you com...

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Love is equal to drowning yourself in tar
I'll take another drag from
I may never win your heart back if I quit 
I'll keep taking my drags until it shows you I love you

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I'm someone I actually like when I was with you
I miss you but I'm drowning now
Under the waves where the air can't reach
I was a mess when you found me

There's no recovery from the first relapse
I love you too much to let you think
That I can live without you

If I could only medicate the love that you gave me
How did I get out so far
There's no medication for this love
When I'm with...

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Build your kingdom walls high and thick
Tell yourself what you're doing is Justified
Your words were bullets piercing through the skin
You left like his mother and lied to him
He made promises just to keep them forever 
Promises are actions you can't break

He's going nowhere honestly
He's broke and drinking himself to death
So take him away from this broken mindset
He's not a nice guy b...

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Shake your ass in Crystal City
Show some love to your crystal pipe
Then put it back in the garden cause love is a freak
Lady Death is doing it in the next room
Mr. Depression was your lover so Crystal Clear

She's smoking crystal meth
So he calling her Kristy
She wants a name change
But she's no Bruce Lee 

She doesn't love you 
She loves the money that you gave her
So watch the windm...

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I should let go of this bleak situation
Drift away from all that I say
Don't hold me to this
This is my ugly side the most vile thing about me

I should try to recompose myself
My mind's out racing common sense
Air is getting harder to inhale
My words aren't coming out right

I need to get my feet on the ground
Before the ceiling swallows me whole
Lost in a panic over nothing important
...

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I can't explain how I feel
There's something inside me 
You can never remove
The need of hearing you talk about your day
You was my entire world now I'm broken into pieces

I once was a wall but now 
I'm hoping and waiting for you
You may never come back but I'll always love
You deserve at least one guy that's faithful to you

I don't want to be hopelessly depressed
I want to get lost ...

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How can I win the fight?
When I want to close my eyes forever
Time is so heavy I don't want to be alone
My thoughts are death sentence in situations like this

I should stop talking to myself in public
I swear there was someone there
If you catch me outside please don't look hatefully
My personality is eroding into slime
I live in melancholy land where nothing is exciting

How did I get...

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One day I'll be an app that life deleted
Until then I will try to inspire people
I only have a few moments on this Earth
So I'll show love to my enemies be happy for their success

We live in a world where racism is normal 
(What a shame)
Democrats and Republicans our just the names
The hatred between both of them to start flame
We only want to blame each other for nowadays
We're all hum...

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In September I felt like the Twin Towers
Firefly how could you be so mean to your Sour Patch Kid
I know I wasn't the type to bring home flowers
I spent every hour of my day worried about you
Now I'm back to my old Wallflower days
Melancholy feels like a cold shower I'm becoming numb to everything

I really need to fix myself
I really need to fix myself
I really need to fix myself before I...

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I was 21 when you found me
Depressed and begging for death
You cured me and  give me a reason to leave my bed
I was 21 when you found me
You broke my heart at the age of 22

I've been waiting here for you to come back home
You gave me a reason to live
If you come back home I want to hear all your stories
I told you forever so I'll wait for you 
Even you never come back I'll wait here for...

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We're all machines wandering dreadfully
The lack of expression on our faces
Proof there's no free will only a grinding ideas
So cut the bad out of your life where it lies more will grow

The Christian will always hate 
What they do not understand
The outcasts will always love
The devil just means god 

Us as humans don't deserve anything
We're not promised a great life
The only thing i...

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I can't find a reason to live
It's scaring me I'm off my pills
I go on long walks to listen the cars pass
I forced a smile on my face and they all thought it was real
If I died today no one would miss me
I don't want to fight my depression anymore
I think I'm finally giving up and scares me
I don't talk shit behind anyone's back 
I know how much that shit hurts
Ignore me would tell me to ...

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Don't look at me for help 
Nowadays I don't leave the house
Do you want a recap of my anxiety
I only write about what I know
I haven't lied since 2016

So let me tell you how 
I won't be anything you love
You'll get tired of me being over emotional
I've been abused and cheated on 
More times than I can count

Tell a hopeless joke I read off the internet
Now I got a whole room laughing
...

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I have this razor blade and you have him
I'll never be anything more then this addicted 
You want words of wisdom I don't have them anymore 
It took two years for me to become jaded two more and I'll be dead
I'm not a sad clown anymore I'm just fucking sad
I walked in traffic yesterday but no one wanted to hit me
There's no happy ending for people like me
I'm letting this broken heart kill ...

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Could you please tell me 
The silver lining behind all this
I've been looking for a remedy
My heart so broken missing you
I don't know where I belong

The memory of you is growing cold
Just want to know where I belong
Without you I don't feel comfortable
I feel like everyone wants me dead
This autumn had me at my worst

When You're Gone
There's no place to call home
My heart is getti...

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I wish I could start acting my age 
I wish I had more self-confidence
Everyone I went to HighSchool with has a family 
I'm here trying to further a career that's going nowhere
If happiness is a hike worth walking for
Then we should invest in some hiking boots
Where do I go when I'm sinking into the sadness
Because I'll never be able to afford happiness
I don't think there's a cure for a br...

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Ladies and gentlemen 
Self-destruction over such a pretty little face
What a way to go into the unknown
With her face tattooed to my brain
I'm drowning in the tar of memories that she gave me

I know I should get it off my feet again
She's such a beautiful angel that can cripple anyone
I've become the alcoholic and all alone
Just like you was when I first met you
Little lady I need a jum...

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Melancholy season got 
My nose all bloody again
Infatuated with my own death
I've been drinking eggnog with rum
I threw up the first time 

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