Mind Words
I have this Melancholy It's like chipped puzzle pieces
Don't tell me I'll will get over it I'm 26
With crippling issues that I can take care of
People tell me to forget about it
I got a heart full of heartache
Of abuse and suffering and I can't forget about it
The leaves are falling but the times don't change
Everyone has an answer to your problem they've never lived
Sunday 13th December 2020 3:55 pm
Words of The Waiting Man The END!
I hope you know
I don't hate you
I just feel sorry for you
All the mind games
You're going to die alone
Wolf in sheep clothing that is what you are
Everyone you've hurt is starting to see the wolf
For every action has made there's a concert
Thursday 3rd December 2020 6:14 am
Black Hair, Black Nails And A Lot of Teenage Angst
There's no rest for the wicked when I'm cradling death
I'm on the edge of self-harming again
This is a race to heaven then I'll surely come in last
Because I'm hell-born and I'm surely not going to lie
I damn the Holy Spirit and I surely not glad about it
I can't go into a church without bursting into laughter
So I'm hell looking for an angel to grab
Saturday 21st November 2020 2:38 am
My Last Words For The Year.
The contracts of what makes love
It's so not online it is so unnatural
Force it on to someone
When being accepted is far from easy
Love is difficult to actually learn how to
When you get it it's easy to master
It is the broken stairs to repurpose
The flaws in your head that make you wonder
We always sell broken or did it happen over time
Authentic love is a true expression
Wednesday 18th November 2020 9:45 pm
Paralyzed
I'm paralyzed by the lights
I'm slowly slumbering into lights
I tried to march to my own beat
I'm ashamed of what I've become
Monday 16th November 2020 2:01 am
You Can Blame It All On Me
Can you tell me how far it goes
I'm just trying to keep myself alive
I lost myself in your eyes
This crippling depression has taken over again
So blame me for all your worries
I'll never be anything more than a regret
Did you understand this today
I want to pass away in my sleep
Please understand I fucking want to stop
God I hate myself so much
The pain never goes away
Don't tell me ...
Saturday 7th November 2020 2:57 am
Imaginary Friends
Been running from my responsibility
Everything got dark and I lost my vision of myself
The antidote was always in my fingertip
Nothing makes me sober than the past
I won't be a culture vulture of punk
I won't tell a man that he can't wear a dress
I will burn all the institutions that this culture made
I was the kid that got beat up by the punks
Because I was too sad for them
The go...
Monday 26th October 2020 1:01 am
Mother
I think I truly hate Halloween
It was the last day I saw my mother
She packed her bags and left
I have a couple of issues that I'll never fix
I'll keep Nirvana Rape Me on replay
Mentally, sexually and physically abused
So tonight I ask why do I miss her
After a head full of trauma
Sometimes I wish I could be fixed
The wound that she left has never healed
I still have broken ribs and...
Saturday 24th October 2020 2:11 am
Anti-depression
God is falling into insanity
The anti-depression medicine
Is screaming for attention
The paranoia is all I know
I"m looking for something more
My thighs were made for scars
Suicidal thoughts have me thinking
That cutting myself is my savior from them
Please don't let me fall into the thoughts
Holy paper burning away from me
The demons are heavier than you think
God is falling i...
Thursday 22nd October 2020 9:06 pm
Corpses In My Bed
I'm on a bottle of anti-depression
Have a couple of people
That is crashing on me
I look in a mirror but I only see ugly
So why do they want me?
I spent almost a whole year
Reflecting on my bad Behavior
Trying to apologize for it
Pushing people out
I can't even do that right
I hate that people ask to see my face more
If you saw it, it would only call it ugly
So why show it to t...
Wednesday 21st October 2020 4:04 am
Puppets
You're all addicted to social media
Share your memes and your stupid quotes
We're all depressed but no one wants to talk about it
So take the mask off you're the problem with yourself
Don't tell the world how you truly feel
Burn your existence and leave your soul
We're all puppets for corporations
Why we stay poor and in debt
Only you can free yourself
You stay in you're boring cycl...
Thursday 15th October 2020 4:41 am
Cry Baby
I can't do this anymore
I've been watching everyone I love
Being abused by their heads
I can't take it anymore
I'm the cry baby
The emotional wreck
The black sheep of the family
I'm the cry baby
So put down the drugs
It's not helping anymore
I won't let my worries kill me
I'm anxious again wanting to cry
Oh I'm a cry baby now
I'm the cry baby
With a face full of make ...
Wednesday 14th October 2020 7:12 am
A Kingdom On The Moon Lyrics
Look inside the moon
Can you tell that its vitals are fine
It's been a while since it's been a while since
I could hold my head up fine
Don't hate my ways
It's under the skin now
Could you forget my name
I've seen the godless goddess
Hold your head to the sun
We're all non-believers now
I've been forgetting the lights
Under the mountain of shit, you said
Broken bottles in her...
Monday 5th October 2020 3:16 am
A Letter To The Past
A thick layer of cold pressing my body
I know it's only me now
All the nights I spent without you
Made me realize that I was better without you
You're right I am the best guy you ever date
I spent four years waiting for you
you would have never done the same for me
She never really cared
It took me four whole years to face the truth
You don't love me you only care about yourself
Now I'...
Friday 2nd October 2020 6:25 pm
Ribbons From Christ
You can call yourself
I'm burning from the 2nd floor
Can you hear me?
God is gone to a better place
Please don't hold the wave
Please don't hold the wave
I am coming down
I cut myself today
I let the blood dry up
Picked the crest just to see if I would bleed again
Something in the way you say you're okay
Makes me want to end it
So cut the tie today
Please don't hold the...
Saturday 26th September 2020 7:26 am
Game of Flies
How did you get so lonely?
With all that dirt under your nose
She the devil one touch of her clitoris
You'll be in love and let her toxic waste pour into you
She's refusing to take responsibility for her actions
She's a psychopath without even asking
She's Courtney Love without the fame
She likes sex more than she likes to admit
She will fuck the new guy before she breaks up with you
...
Saturday 26th September 2020 3:37 am
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
She was the woman that fought for the nameless
She was an icon too many
She was a trailblazer
She may not be here anymore
She should always be remembered
She fought for equal rights
She was the Notorious RBG
Saturday 19th September 2020 2:52 am
Firefly Truth?
You're the type of girl
That can make me jealous
I don't want to see another boy around your waist
You pick snitches and cheaters you
Haven't had a real man in so long
Don't get me wrong I was the absolutely worse back then
I've changed a lot since then
So how long are you going to pull these poor boys strings?
The truth is I know you more than you like
I know you're devious
Yo...
Friday 18th September 2020 9:29 pm
Life Story
I can’t do this anyone
I can’t keep lying to myself
I’ve been walking but my feet is bleeding
So hold right there
I’m pessimistic without an rainy day
So what’s the awareness I’m looking for
I’ve been playing with the end
So you win I can’t keep these up
I can’t breath anymore
I’ve saved some friends from the end
But they wouldn’t do the same
Thursday 17th September 2020 5:07 am
Soy Sauce Flavor
It's okay to be over emotional
To all the people that calls you toxic
That really shows their maturity
Running in circles like they're an ass
They can never understand being an emotional wreck 24/7
You beg for suicidal thoughts to end
There forever until you stop breathing
I'm not weak I have to deal with Suicidal Thoughts every week
So I'm braver than most I haven't took my life yet
I've...
Tuesday 15th September 2020 9:40 pm
Boys
Boys don't get hurt
Boys don't have feelings
Boys can't be the abused
Shut your mouth right now
Boys can't be sexually abused
Boys can't be abuse by females
Boys Don't struggle with depression
Shut your mouth right now
Boys don't have abandonment issues
Boys don't have panic attacks
If they do there're labeled week
Stay strong don't let them get to you
You're allowed to have emotio...
Tuesday 8th September 2020 12:39 am
The End Soon
I just wish I was everything you wanted
I wish the devil didn't sour the air
You're like chalk on a chalkboard
Your toothpick stabbing in my foot
I hate myself for loving you more than you could love me
I"ve only wanted your hand in forever
The slightest bit of red in my carport
I'm a fork in an electrical socket
I can't be the same without you
I know the end it's happy
It's me al...
Saturday 5th September 2020 8:31 pm
No Smoking In The Coffee Shop
All I wanted to do
Was spend every day with you
To hell with that, you had to leave
To hell with that, you had to leave
I wanted to spend every day
By the fire holding your hand
It's been about four years now
Time not been nice for us
So could you understand it's all fine
Autumn's coming and I'll fall with the leaves
I'm going away for a long for a long
All I wanted to do
W...
Friday 4th September 2020 8:39 pm
Light By Death
I'm becoming so jaded
That the green is oozing out of my skin
I don't know what love is
I've never been shown it
I can't fix myself
I stop the PTSD turner into another anxiety attack
I just want to stop breathing
So the pain can fade
If I could just turn my brain off
I don't care if you love me
Please just go away
I've got two weeks
Until the world stops
I'll never be o...
Friday 4th September 2020 8:09 am
Words of The Waiting Man 35
Listen to melancholy chemicals
It's like a candle burning on both ends
I never know when to let go until I'm already burnt
The crumbling foundation is all I have left
The scenery will change but I'll still feel the same
Thursday 3rd September 2020 12:42 am
Attachment Anxiety
This abandonment issues
Has my attachment anxiety
Oozing out like a black sludge
If you show me, love
I'm holding on forever
I don't know how to let go
You know you'll mess with
My head until I break again
Wednesday 2nd September 2020 1:20 am
Dear Me
The illusion that you're living
Patty and desperate for attention
The conditions that you wanted is not meant
Your broken wings won't get you far
You have a problem with moving on
Darling, you think you wrote the rules to the game
I had to spell check them so I know better
The fabrics that hold your delusions together is ripping
I thought you said that you matured
Monday 31st August 2020 4:40 am
Firefly Crying Skies
I know times are dark right now
But it's okay to be sad
Even the sky cries tonight
So don't be scared to cry
We all see someone
In memories, we will live forever
So talk about them until daybreak's
It's okay to be alone in the dark
I will always be here
I know she's not physically here anymore
She's still alive in your mind
With that, she lives forever in you
All the colours in...
Saturday 29th August 2020 8:52 pm
Forest Fire
I admitted that my wrongs
I let them beat me to the ground
You can't see the end without drowning
The misery is all you're ever know
How is misery treating you it's treating me well
It's show and tell dear
I'll let you go first
My turn is going to take all-day
The abuse, the lying all of it
Built a wall to not trust anyone
I apologize about a thousand times
When you just got pi...
Monday 24th August 2020 8:48 pm
He
He'll never be good enough for her
He asked her why she had to leave
He was willing to do anything just anything
To keep her close and never let go
He wanted to marry her and get lost in a small family
He wanted to prove to her that he truly love her
He slowly went into figuring out that
He was ever going to be good enough
He loved her too much
He was always there for her no matter w...
Thursday 20th August 2020 6:21 pm
Inside Me
Why can't you understand
The best of us is dying
So don't look into the dark
As my broken body rots
I see the light burning into the holes
No one will understand how you breath
So what keeps you moving
I've never been important to anyone
So how could I fix myself
When no one took the time to see me
I'm shaking at unshakable
So here is my last word
Please tell me
Please tel...
Wednesday 19th August 2020 9:17 pm
Space Cowboy (Bad Cowboy)
When did I become the void
The air is becoming shortening
So there is no way out
Hold me now I can't see the light
I"ve become the hollow
No raindrops on my head
I"ve become the hollow
I am here on my own
Do you hear it space cowboy
Father is home
Now we all will feel his pain
Bang
The Sinners will die there's no dents need it this time
Sunday 16th August 2020 1:51 am
Capital O.L,D M,E
I've been trying to get my head up like a buoy
It's no use I'm drowning already
I'm lost at sea
Throwing up from the vertical
I didn't lie when I told you
I loved you but you surely did
You broke all of your promises
Didn't even flinch from it
It would have been easier if you killed me
Because I loved you
I tried to be everything for you
Like always I'm never good enough
Sew ...
Tuesday 11th August 2020 12:14 am
Cloak
I can't fix this
The cloak doesn't stop
I'm alone in this room
So one more fight, one more fight
I'll call this done
I'll never find my way home
So let me bleed out, it's okay
Tonight I'm alone with my demons
I've never been obsessed with anything but my death
I can't forgive myself oh I can't forgive myself
The thoughts are so overwhelming
I'm so sorry
I can't fix this
...
Wednesday 5th August 2020 5:35 pm
CUT
One more cut won't hurt
One more cut I"ll see I am still alive
One more cut and no one will know
One more cut I can be happy
One more cut that's all I need
One more cut so I won't be numb
One more cut and it will be my last
One more cut I can forget her name
One more cut that's all I need please don't be mad
Sunday 2nd August 2020 7:12 pm
these days it's really hard to get the words I need to say out
I let you use me
Have your way
You still didn't stay
The memories make me want to die
Why won't you stay
I told you no
But you still had your way
I just don't want to be alone
If you would stay
I don't want to be alone
Goddammit I'm a product of abuse
It doesn't feel good
Set my world on fire
I'm not obsessed with you
I'm obsessed with not dying alone
I'll let you ...
Saturday 1st August 2020 10:09 pm
No Where But Down
Suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide di...
Saturday 1st August 2020 5:14 am
4/12
Bullshit you miss me
Why does it always have to be this way
I never told you it would be easy
You hate me but I love the way you lie
Friday 31st July 2020 9:09 pm
3/12
Self harm until you hit the bone
It's okay love isn't real
We are all faking it just to have some company
So does the moon shine as bright as I
How is acting like I don't exist going for you
Thursday 30th July 2020 5:26 pm
2/12
The only thing you wanted
But you could have
You When to hell but you still failed
Does it look good when you cry now
Becuase it's not fair
So I don't see firefly light
I'm shining too hard
Thursday 30th July 2020 2:43 am
1/12
The moon had a girl
The sun had a boy
The love died and the diver
Let the fire burn his body
Sunday 26th July 2020 10:03 pm
Broken Heart 3
I don't want to waste your precious time
It's unfair that you think it's all about you
Did you ever ask how I feel
I know you never apologized
For all the times you slipped up
I could never truly believe you
Best that we went our separate ways
Because you're a fucking monster and I'm a demon
You living in lies and thinking it's fairy tales
I want the fancier things in life
You want t...
Saturday 25th July 2020 3:11 am
Selfish // Kindness
I've been responding in all the wrong ways
I've simply just an idiot
Trying to make everyone laugh
For my sins are carved into my skin
We never want to be evil or cruel
I know that all humankind can be
The human race hates change
The only time we can grow is when we'er uncomfortable
We let fear take over are mind
So we let people weaponize with our fears
We become the monsters
Thursday 25th June 2020 7:27 pm
Melancholy
I know this isn't what you want to hear
I know my mind doesn't make sense right now
I've been questioning if I should even go on
I've been so numb
I think after July I'll say goodbye
I don't see anything getting better
I've been abused in every way
No one gets a shit about the grave I've been digging
I know you don't read my poems
So you don't have to act like you do
See I'm just...
Saturday 20th June 2020 10:49 pm
I've been enjoying the death of my mind and it's clear for everyone can see
Wednesday 17th June 2020 5:06 am
Fight For Love
His just trying to make it home
They call him faggot for wearing makeup
Tell him to be more masculine
No wonder he wants to end his life
Unfortunately we all suffer from depression
In the cages that the government sets for us
You can protest for something better
They're shoot you with a rubber bullet and call you a monster
It's contagious that baby boomers never had it bad
Their parent...
Friday 12th June 2020 3:16 am
Peaceful Days 2
Mentally abused all his life
So he cuts himself to fill if he's alive
They say suicide is not a way to go
He's never known what love Is
Never good enough for everyone
Where was his peaceful days?
Monday 1st June 2020 4:21 pm
Peaceful
Just three weeks ago I had you in my arms
I still ask for commission to take off your clothes
You said yes and my mind was peaceful
We were both naked in my bed
You wanted sex but I didn't
Now I'm lonely
Wasting away inside my mind
How could you kiss me
And think that it wouldn't Fuck with me
You Firefly as why I want to die
I don't have peaceful days I just have nightmares
Do you...
Saturday 30th May 2020 3:31 am
Whatever Happens, Happens
Today I thought about killing myself
I found myself not good enough
I don't think anyone would miss me
Don't get me wrong
I hate that funniest guy in the room is the saddest
Everyone I've ever met I've made them chuckle
I can't think of anything positive
My whole body is going numb
I've become the thing I hate
Fully died inside
There isn't a anything there anymore
All I think about...
Tuesday 26th May 2020 4:42 pm
happiness
She kissed me only to go again
Why can't I be the one
This is all I think about
She has killed the happiness fully this time
Tuesday 26th May 2020 3:57 pm
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