The thought of how could you do this to me

I'm dying to be loved but I wasn't good enough

Another heart, another time

I just wish I could get it all back

You told me you would never hurt me like this

But you poison to my head

I'm one hand from falling from the edge

So don't take the last will I have to live

drop it all and let it just fade

I was so fucking happ...

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I told you I'd be there

I can't forgive myself if anything happens

I'd walk to hell and back

To make sure your head is okay

Your depression may be more than my word

My touch is more than it

So listen to me forever

I know you're your own worst enemy

So God damn it I'm not leaving you behind

I know the demons say

That you're better off not here

All the bleach bath,

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Everyone I know is happy with someone

I was born to run

Mother thank you for giving me

Another disaster the think about

The thought of dying alone is all I have left

All my friends have children and people to go home to

Jesus Christ you don't understand

I think I'm so unwanted,

All my ex lovers pick druggies over me

So I bury myself in my work

Just to try to esca...

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I've been working on this song for days
How could you use me like this
I got used to the abuse that you gave me
You don't have to tell me I'm a mess
I've been a mess since I was a child

I should stop falling in love with you
So tell me I'm a sad sack of shit
Tell me I'm worthless
Everyone knows that's the reason
I fell in love with you
You remind me of my mother

My brain tricked me ...

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I am just an image of time
Lost in the shadows of my mind
Goodman does not have rules
I live my life by so many

I'm not the good guy in the story
I am not a villain ether
I am flawed with every step I make
From a life of abuse, I learned kindness

Humanity is a fleeting color
Death is always certain
My soul is old and I've walked these aisles for years
This life does not need love it...

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Can you run from me? 
I was the devil 
You was the sinner
Beckoning radiance of love
Please don't for get me?

I've seen light pour from your skin
Can I worship at your altar of delusions?
I'm only asking because I want to be 
A creep that takes everything
Can I bargain with you 
I'll keep you safe if you end me 

I can't save myself 
From the blood dripping down your vines
Is this ...

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I used to be an artist, with poetry in motion I've fractured my soul and lost a part of my heart on this empty road. Now I'm an empty vessel quarantining memories that have already gone.
Slow decay, a buffet of memories that is already went away. Suffocate on dreams that's long forgotten fill the holes with the happy memories for the terminal illness of sadness will always remain

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Something here’s gotten change
It's becoming a daily thing
Keep your hands to yourself
She doesn't want you 
But play the victim with your friends

Go tell everyone your the nice guy
I'm sick of you and everyone like you
So shut the fuck up 
When she says no it's just that

I hate guys like you 
Begging for nudes 
She said no but you keep doing it 
I hate your type keep your eyes off...

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In a world full of sex 
We just don't fit in so, please
Help me I don't want to lose you
I don't understand why
The floor is falling in 

What the hell should I do? 
The world doesn't get me 
I'm so close to bleeding out 
I have been keeping back the tears 

I've been losing soulmates 
Like sicking ships in July
So where do I start again
I don't want to hit the end 

You need my to...

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Can't do this anymore I'm ripping at the seams of reality
Trying to make a world that's not real anymore
Sick of being single and death knocking in 3'es
I'm sick of watching everyone be happy

As I'm just miserable I'm terrified to be left alone at home
Why has every woman I've loved left me
The mental scarring is all that's left
My mom taught me how to lie
My father taught me how to get ...

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Let's restart everything become unbroken
Let's forget about the motives that drove us here
Who needs the memories 
If we can have a moment of solitude

This is the moment you decided you are over your ex
SIx months and you almost killed yourself 
You don't need this 
Life starts now so don't think about it 
Just keep moving on 

This is the decision
This is the decision that writes the...

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I think it's to let it go 

So I've lost control again
Wish I could tell you that my soul was proper
I sold it along this dusty road
I saw godlessness in everyone
To cut a good kid without fear

The road to hell was built on good intentions
I only felt so alone without her love
With her, you can't be a good man 
Without her, you can't be happy 
So pick before the world blames you 

I...

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What is going on now?
I've been drowning in my mind
Blood on my heart  
I may die but that's fine
Anxieties catching up with me

Inhale exhale it's not helping this time
Please don't forget about me
From here on out I'll be just raggedy man
Looking for a place to call home

I miss when I could be more of myself 
Back before grown-up responsibilities took over
My heart is overdosing on...

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I told someone I was asexual
They asked how is that working out 
All I could say is okay

The first time I had sex with a girl I hated it 
Thought I was gay and found out I wasn't
I remember trying to be normal
I was laying in bed with a beautiful woman 
Knowing that they want physical love
Me thinking to myself maybe she'll tell me to stop
So I won't have to go through this again

I d...

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Mother, you left me to the wolves
For the substances in your nose
I thought I was a light inside your eyes
How could you leave your child with an abuser
My innocence was ripped from my mind

Product of abuse
Don't cry your eyes out
Get on your feet 
Run to father
Death is coming

Mother, you're toxic vile child 
Hope you get cancer in your jaw 
I want it to slowly eat you away

Now...

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I've been writing a lot lately 
Nothing's been coming out
So what's been fine since I've not been fine
I know you have a mountain that I can't climb
I've been trying to mine mine
Maybe if you could look through the lines
You could understand I'm not lying anymore

How long until Suffocation becomes a pill
I know I'm dramatic all the time
I'm mellowing out like a fine wine
I still can't ...

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I bet you never truly forget about me
I bet you thought I would never get another job
I bet you look down on me 

I don't understand you
You say that I'm a sad boy that will never grow up
If that's the case then call me when you're sober
Your attention little grabbing cheat
Baby I thought you said you love me forever aren't you full of shit

I bet you never truly forget about me
I bet y...

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The devil pray for the light again
He was assumed by rage when it did not beckon
His fears dried up like dust the world crumbled around him
We found him bleeding upon his grace

Still, he was petrified from his actions
The man inside realized he was flawed
What a fate worse than death
Anxiety misled me with a doubt

The devil inside is killing us
So pray to Angels all you like
You forg...

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I learned how to run before I could walk
Because I can breathe fine without you
It's hard to say but I am now happy
The feeling took forever but I can think clear
I know we've all had some pretty fucked up days

So just keep breathing and try to love yourself
If the sky is falling then you run chicken little
the whole world's going to keep moving
If you stand still it's going to leave you...

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I'll be going back to Washington soon 
I think it's time to go home
I've been gone for four years 
I wonder how things have changed
Dad always tells me that the country's died since I left
That I'm lucky that my mom was born in Romania
My plan was to go back last year 
It's time to face the things I can't face
Time to face the broken Healthcare System
I also have time to go see the mounta...

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She's too good to be real
I'm an atheist 
I believe in heaven because of her
She's Every cliché wrapped up in one

Perfection is jealous her
She makes my heart go boom pop by noon
She's an independent woman she didn't need no man
She's calling me baby and I'm in love with it
Perfection is jealous her

I won't need anyone else but her
I'll be in the kitchen cooking for her
When this pa...

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I'm ashamed of who I was
So fixated on a girl
God I hate that version of me
It took a lot of self-growth to admit I was wrong
I moved on and I'm better now
I heard a song and remind me of my awful ways
How being delusional is a hell of a drug
Let's have a drink for being single

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Being an American nowadays is an embarrassment
I was born in this country and always been embarrassed
You hate education because it makes less Christians
Jesus would have been a middle eastern man
You would shoot him because you would call him a terrorist
When you're storming the Capitol Building because you're a snowflake
These domestic terrorists with AR-15s
Are the same man that supposed...

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As I slip into the acid of regret
My mind tries to drown away
But this melancholy cloud does not give
It shoved me into my pocket knife
It's not my upper thigh and it was stuck
So I cut a little bit further until the blade jiggle out
Has the blood came down 
I realize I was unlovable but proud

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As I'll slip into insanity
Like an a young spruce
My greedy actions made me lose the sun
Mt Wife found it on the shore of a beach
The last time I seen it I was tucking it in for bed
My wife found it bloody and cold
She was crying that we lost him we lost him
Like An earthquake its shattered my reality

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