£4.88

Your body was found dead in your flat, three months gone and smelling like hell.

They came and took you away, to the morgue downtown, an unhappy place.

Clearing your flat they found £4.88, not much to show for a lonely death.

Always on your own, eternally in death. How sad no one will see you buried, a pauper’s death, the undertaker the only witness at this solemn occasion.

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I'm used to sleeping alone at night in my bed. No one there.

I'm used to being unloved and unwanted at night, feeling the touch of a bullet.

I'm used to being forlorn and forsaken, dead inside during dark hours. Inside and out. I'm used to having no lover to get wet and sweaty with, damn hot eroticism. Not in my bed or life.

I'm used to having no one hold m...

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Events and Time 
 
I guess my feelings don’t really matter, that I don’t need anyone by my side when I’m down or upset or depressed. Don’t you know I’m just like anyone else? Though I’m different I’m just the same inside don’t you see? Do you know how hard it is to live alone and not have anyone to care for you? And when I meet someone who I thought was special, to let her in and trus...

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DICKHEAD

You call me a dickhead behind my back and laugh at this.                                                                      

Come and say it to my face.                                                                                                                    

Ok then, just for you, I'll admit that I'm a dickhead on one condition.                            ...

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ANGST

To be a Goth, do I have to suffer so? Have loneliness burn into my soul, sadness fill my heart, loss bring me to my knees?

All I have is my life and a few songs to help me by in this endless grey world of mine,

no Goth girl to save me, no real escape from this morose existence to gain ascendancy to the heavens.

A soul mate I yearn for, to escape the barest mini...

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JOY OF BEING ALONE

The joy of being alone is an empty joy, one to be celebrated alone because one is alone.                                                                                                                                                                                                                       You don’t celebrate the joy of being alone with a friend, p...

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MISSING

I think of you on this cold winters day

when you are away from me.

The sky hangs above me

but it holds no warmth.

I need you to put the heat in my heart.

I can’t stand being away from you,

not even for a day. I just want to hold you

and to be told it’s okay.

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TEAR

I am a black diamond with a dark flaw

so deep in my heart, never to be healed.

Will it destroy me or be my saviour?

I don’t know. I weep silent tears and pray

to my gods and goddesses to release me.

I saved Shi but who will save me?

I need understanding and help with me being me.

But I can do it, be happy with a kindred spirit

and grow for the futu...

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