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ptsd (12/31/2015)

the bitter soapsting
of measuring spiders
eyeing them up
by dinner plates
As if one day I'd be eating next to them
Those jumping wingclippers
of the afterlife

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sometimes i wake up crying for no reason

Jack the Chaser (12/30/2015)

Flexed, tightened leather
second skin to none
abraided by the pounding dunes
gaze-burned in by setting suns.

cactus juice and guzzoline
books bound in human skin
lovesplit, explicity and obscene
loyal to the laughing kin

where law is lead-lined majority
powder-talk where rule is skipped
stranger-king's dplority
Big-iron holstered on his hip

rewritten tumbleweeds will tell
of glo...

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psycho reign is a fleeting high isn't it?

Stephen Furst 0342 (12/29/2015)

Meeeeeeep

>Hi

What are you doing up?

>Um I am awake.
>That's really the only reason. And me eyes are just sort of making tears for no reason
>so that's sweet.

I am wipe and loving you

>um ok
>How was work

I am drunk. Tracy is a dick.

>Why

Bcuz I had a lot of shots

>Tracy is a dick because you had a lot of shots?

Oh lol Hahahahaha
She's a dick bcuz she has to be a ...

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i wish you could see what i saw

Long Light City (12/27/2015)

Sirens: howling urban coyotes
making quick trails to the wounded
and slow to the dead. 
You think the city eats you up, but really, it's just you instead
wearing the face of yesteryears
floundered in dollar store whiskey
dirty dishes, midnight tears
crying up and insisting 
that you're a boiled husk
a trail gourd filled with bad stories
And a drink to never sate
a thirst what never belo...

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the dream of azlan the dream of heroes lived too l

bluelit 2 (12/23/2015)

x. 
If I laid next to you right now, my lips would find your throat, gentle and dreamlike between your breaths as not to free you from good dreams. 
x
my legs would coil and cradle around you, inching you closer, settling like sediment against me, perfectly warm, and my arms would slide up your sides so I could feel you stirring.
x
and my heart would break, shiver and shatter
when your moan ...

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Baby please come home

azucar grim (12/20/2015)

In for a penny, in for a pound; into the casket, into the ground.

it's all bones, down here. it's all dancing and all watching. it's all lipless smiles and the endless, unrelenting sound of a thousand woodwind chimes as we march, weightless, t'ward the incredulous glow of ember. 

Hell's a lot more fun than they promised you in catholic school, albeit a little more routine.
what i'm trying t...

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grimm fandango the day of the dead

Left 2 (12/13/2015)

'why i am the way i am? you had a choice, and you chose betrayal. i am an old man giving up dying pieces of history. There's fewer and fewer survivors trustworthy enough to hold them with me. so i'll hold em to myself until im cooling in a six foot hole, shaped like january, by myself and for myself.

I loved you; I loved the man I thought you were. I thought you were my brother, but now I see y...

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not really poetry

to sleep (12/13/2015)

smaller, and smaller
secret like a bruise
crushed, dried, and pressed
keeping pages sealed away
of whats never to be read again.
sleeplessness:
true vacancy and void
To wither and to writhe
stained and buried
dug up, shaken in sacrilege
dreams exhumed, breathlessly
by merciless graverobbers
engorged on paradise

smaller and smaller
spiralling and tracing
abyssal cosmos and frayed f...

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when you can't sleep em join em

here's a story of where these marks came from
scribbled here by hometown pens
upon our mirrored cheeks
laid to rest in permanence: impermanence
spared by pride: by iron and oil
sealed with blood, and ink, and pain:
my familiars, just a tattoo gun away.

interesting phrase:
self-excommunication. 
self-emancipation
self-immolation

color me synonymous, helium.

open me and take only w...

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biopic monologue

cynicism (11/25/2015)

when I talk to hippies;
'there's evil in this world.'
'sure.' I'll humor it.

If you're my ex, I'll call you on new years.
if you feel used, don't worry. I do too. 

There's no feeling worse to me than being flirtatious or coy or fun with someone (any sort of connection that gives you that little nervous, electric spike of adrenaline when you lock eyes with them a half second too long) unti...

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early morning bathtub slumbers

iceberg (12/06/2015)

 icy freedom cracks the hull
death's ode screeching to a hault
i named the ratchet in my skull
"Stillbourne Small, the catapault"

found wading in marshy bogs of chuke
saved by crows and carrion alive
woven by blood and the almighty nuke
seeds from whence i was derived

perfect gods and perfect men
can't live outside their pastel pens
there's work to do: the dirty, the wet
and i haven...

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the titanic didn't crash here but it feels so cold

hope you can guess my name (11/29/2015)

a gaze that pierces veils
of iron curtain tragedy
the weight of painkillers 
it all presses in like a phalanx of soviet states.

rolling thunder, blurred and blistered
shame as dull as anything else
anti-focus and step-sisters
ground up and bottled by the pound.

it looks like it's made of marble
but really it's just convincing glass
hewed by two-sided buyers
protesting your front doo...

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but what's puzzling you is the nature of my game

there

cuttin daisy
oh, we gettin hazy
forgettin the trophy wives
paying in time, midnight tithes

pearly grins chasing irrespose
knife kept close to the table though
we're beginners to skullduggery
past the age of forty five
self-manager funeral the righteous ones
we're scandal like a saint suns

blood for iron 
that's how we've always traded it
prove your worthlessness in a cage
earnt re...

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no no no no no yes

lost compass magnet (11/22/2015)

sunlight breather, 
gills for success
high on cold moon ether
blue ribbons tie the best
Marked and made for slaughter
Picked and packed for dollhouse daughters
I have known captivity in my escape

living in fleshy detritus (if you'd call me alive)
Paralyzing empty flashing printer lights
terror tears would carry us (abandoned by our tribe)
beacons on a sea of fast food bags and cowardic...

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not sure where i was going with this

4300 (11/15/2015)

laying here, tipping the edge of hurt

living in precipies

a mongrel of our omniverse

 

an everything, an always

writhing in exquisite pain

limbs caught in quantum vibrato

love breaks me like a hurricane

 

'i can't do this anymore.'

fervic fluid fills my cheeks, bites my tongue and poison leaks

cleans me like vinegar

climbs me: i am a diving board

chokes me: i...

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im not really sure what i feel

John Wayne 1613 (11/05/2015)

sometimes I feel guilty for participating in the distraction culture circle jerk of facebook

sometimes I just want a cheap copy of what feels like people liking me despite it all just being selective avatars of internet celebrity expressing their appreciation of content I did not create

it's a plastic chase. it's plastic chess. You know? but sometimes I need it. Like how balogna scratches a ...

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not sure what to do with myself when im happy

Waiting on a locksmith

brittle 'no' like a teather,

riotous blood and dead weather, 

steam and cog alike in Congress,

emulations of embrace, flipped sideways,

handshakes of covered mouths and scared, streaking mascara: 

dyed sensuous, brimming with ruin and ruse.

regret: 'baby won't you be my muse?' 

 

cold, deep as dark

spreading, sprawling climax

in a wardrobe of betrayed memories

stin...

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im sorry

facebook feverbrush (10/25/2015) -- found

'anyone alive right now to feel like i'm like me?
 next on the first
On an unfamiliar sting of betrayal to augment an even uglier truth to say anything, chaos stands apart, just.
 not sure if i had an artist's lives.
i am but ain't paradise.
saw a guy literally know you
Lemonhart and coke
kind of ducked his throat; a legitimate dream.

album is pretty ok to nod off to, slowly. My lips are...

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brought to you by zuckerberg and his brood

Sick's Last Entry (10/21/2015)

sands through a sieve in my shape, with my name
sleeping fevered in my bed
tumbling inside out, choking
midnight daydreams to rest my weary head

reach out for that cooling glass of drink
fearful shaking, lifting anchors, creaking elbows
vignettes of nightmares left to rot and stink
permeating sickness smell, sweet and stale below

stiff as a board, light as a feather
begging for not to...

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Left writes a tombstone

to drown (10/10/2015)

fuck each other ugly
milkfed on an authors' arm
drip-bled from a tourniquet
tied ink ribbons end to end

swollen veins gone vericose
herniated heroes turned adipose
doctors' diets, beach bronze
catacombing self doubts
checking out of comfort food inns.

name me famous like an animal
namely maimous: Raw the Cannibal
pitbull terrier so terrible
but it's not the breed that bites
the po...

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nonsense needed that great wash of idea garbage

waxwood prayer (10/04/2015)

Retired to a place where men die
old and comfortable by their favored brand of cigarettes,
burned themselves down and down into heroic coals 

down and down , the flags of the fathers
ashes reigning benevolence over sons in memoriam 
a tired, doomed sphere in the middle of nowhere,
dandered with bones and renamed home.
It's all just a place with a hearth for hearts
where these earned embe...

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waxwood panama shuffle

heather (10/04/2015)

I knew you by the dew of beauty
hanging off of your too-familiar curves
paired venom on glistening fangs..

It's all too bright: its all too much like sunrise

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i wish it was you

sequels to helena (10/04/2015)

the day the night went moonless,
a chorus cried out,
bleary eyed and tuneless,
us in our long shadowed innocence
never stood a god damn chance.

sticky lipped like vampires,
spinning drunk on changing tides,
bleary red chills: goosebump dances
(brushed with death to breathe alive)
yellow leaves in hearse rides.

Painting theromin by numbers,
feeling-hearing split and folded,
a snicke...

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if you're bound and you're gagged bleeding and bru

vultures are good people with bad intentions (9/28/2015)

Man makes opportunity
Bleach boned gratuity
picking teeth in the blazing sun of ages
the weak are meat, 
So the strong say as they eat
Atria strained and skein stretched, 
bursting by design
this high tides earth inheritance
for the meek, the malign
those porous, jealous strangers
familiar high noon encounters
of a stilted, different kind
a familiar so close its alien
suspicions of an...

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vultures are good people with bad intentions

Scott Peterson 0000 (09/24/2015)

My home smells like sour and sweat,
post-partum regret
a quarter century flipped
for the malmanager's bet.

Prayers buried in letters,
asking for days that're better
but getting by on mediocre
life that doesn't hurt, but doesn't smile neither
mama cries when she don't understand my need for either

scrawling words when I'm feeling it
days and nights when we're spillin it
saliva and la...

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i drink too much i smoke too much but i can never

math 30 (9/22/2015)

i remember how small the world used to be, when I wrote the date on my floundering math papers as "today" in a desperate attempt to inject humor in front of the torrent of self-doubt and feelings of obsolescence that stood behind a mental velveteen rope. i remember a vignette pressing in on every aspect of my life as i continued to struggle with the numbers and expectations and what it might mean ...

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mr perozak was a Ukrainian dancer until he divorce

letters from an alchemist (9/20/2015)

I've grown to know you
to need you
like a reigned-in blurred line
shaped in clay and fired in kilns
afraid more than most, of chasing you away.

'call me. I just need you issall.'

Nightchurch choir of wreckless closet love,
piles of scented skins
worn not as trophies but as friends

Wyrmwood;
life as an absinthian lover is hard as I pen your address
(the apartments everywhere that w...

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444 555 666

the ballad of the beartrap

A silhouette of sawback spines
Wisps of storms and dreams alike
Memory winding, surpentine.

23 floors;
a long time to reconsider
the one way street of hearts that wither
elevator sights in passing
a continent ready for glassing
frozen and inert in time
a glimpse of dawn by our design

48 stitches;
scalded and scarred man-made witches
maimed and renamed
reshaped into a willful lamb
...

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the end of aimsto meTo you

part 2 (08/31/2015)

smoke spiralling toward a retired ceiling fan
long exhausted, still spinning
over shaded stucco,
worn and grey as home.

I'm remembering black lipstick, eyes locked
far away, at the peak of a phantom cathedral roof 
built so much higher than this apartment
in a space between the cracks,
in a place of sunken, silent ships,
queued onwards and thru sonic trances
as the thought of midnight ...

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horsekiller daisy cutter heroin dreamscape

ether shuffle prayer (8/30/2015)

Never really crooked
Never really straight
occupying a blissful vacuum
made up of the Gaussian blur 
between frayed moral lines
sweet stucco speckle void of half-baked thoughts and premature prayers, 
high on the milimeterse between lips
before a kiss against a stop sign.

No loitering
no littering
the cliche of cigarettes under a no-smoking sign
Devoid of meaning in the aftermath of p...

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karma police no reply

motel (8/23/2015)

BLEED BLEED BLEED
soaked innit and spat out
a reign of fists and averted eyes
split from spine to stomach
stuffed back in with crime and malice
COWARDS--

DIE DIE DIE
a hate stamped thin with leather boots
prostetic burning incest, battering
spattering: spit and bile and semen
storms of slamming doors and midnight, smiling purges
BASTARDS---

FUCK FUCK FUCK
Lipstick theives of ruby ...

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this is hell this is bliss chasing at your fingertfaster

karaoke 3 (08/21/2015)

Pistolero,
a last survivor of mint and blood
awash with basin fresca lite
drunk on blood and mint
spinning down the drain
as one would circumvent the globe.
Hot air ballooons of vehemence
fuel burned for going notwhere
faster than the trigger fingers
of cooler hands and hotter heads.

the romance of retirement is wasted
on the young
joints aged by the artisans
talented in taking live...

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i can't keep doing this

afterthought 2 (

when a conversation is like pulling teeth
stop.
unless you need a necklace that badly. 

then i guess you can always talk to people about your necklace.
then i guess they wouldn't be able to say much back without their teeth.
there's a metaphor in there, somewhere. 
but mostly I figure if you're the kind of person that only wants to talk about their faerie necklace, you're also the kind of ...

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waiting for your turn to talk tooth faerie necklac

lucky lager shuffle (08.16/2015)

the greatness of man
splitting the atom, cutting the earth
drawing invisible lines in the sand
divided to half-sate thirsts where you can
gunplay nicknamed firefighting.

for thine is the kingdom of blood and iron
destined to chase thy own heaving mass
across earth, scorched and buried
scarred and refit, adapted, rebroken, repurposed, rebuilt
re-rack the 8-balls into these gangs of guilt
...

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im not so sure about this craft anymore

Ray Charles 0414 (08/11/2015)

>for lack of things to do when im tired
 
>i usually just eat
 
>is that unhealthy?
 
hhihihi
 
>hi
 
im super sick again
 
idk its probs unhealthy
 
i am being unhealthy too
 
i just wanna be well
...

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what we do with ourselves this early what the fuck

Scott Peterson 2049 (08/09/2015)

As I lay here finding sleep
I found you in its stead
drifting down into the deep
breathing in molasses black
stretched out thin as cello wire
abyssal tides to rip us back

event horizon duality
cliffjumping back into my chest
miles back in this shell named home 
shocked stockstill by my deafening breath.
You never were, and I never roamed
not once
not once to the ends of the earth
th...

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unfinished her name was pasay i call her like i kn

first will prompt (08/09/2015)

gripped in hands so paper dry and thin
inscribed a letter, these words scrawled out within
so plain, so haunting, so sinister
so monumental to my mountain of shame and sin.

sealed and stamped, bearing no name
no return address, none to blame
but the matte page, moonbeam bright
from the hands and eyes of a confidant
shipped here from overnight

perhaps a bride was in mail order
gaining...

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letters written to yourself papercut

why i don't mow my lawn (08/06/2015)

where the weeds grow in
crooked wicker thimbles
sideways in sin
but never wicked, only twisted
as the hole they were born in
taking the sunlight, hard and fast
for feast or famine, saving thirst for last
deeper roots, their greatest parts
growing harder when burned down
spiked and prickly, better learned
from life's hard lessons passed around.

In life they come and go
but in death --...

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real men don't kill coyotes

Ray Charles 2428 (08/05/2015)

I've got this bad habit
keeping on to jagged relics
harboring oceans of stained, discarded pits
of long-consumed fruits
original sin lining my stomach
blocking my ventricles,
sliding over one another
Plates, reptilian and tectonic
thirsting for the wearing blood of old wounds 
reopened in their passing.

I've got this bad habit
falling back, twisting and crushing
contorting backward, ...

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bury me it's too hot for sleep

echolocate (08/01/2015)

a magazine filled with glasnost bullets;
a body drawn in dots.
a truth cut deeper and harder
stillness painted in red and black.
placidity before pain
lucidity in the rain
washing away ten thousand drops of me
all bearing my name
none bearing my face.

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wash away noir dames black and red jack and queen

captain hook 0730 (07/24/2015)

Balogna and hot dogs are god's noble blue collar meats.
They get the ugly, thankless jobs that nature did until we killed her, outsourced her, crushed her with tank treads and replaced her with a miracle of soviet era automation designed by the germans, made by the chinese, shipped by once-proud thai peoples, assembled by grunting aussies, and handed off to the regular malcontentious beta male fa...

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im not sure where i was going with this drunk uncl

karaoke 2 (07/23/2015)

Jesus christ.
This crucifix is heavy,
leaden steps through the rehearsal
granted wishes: role reversal
twisted sisters; men of cloth
drawn to flame as man to moth
a panoramic curiosity
low-fi infidelity
delivered evil, picked and packed pieces
the familiar scent of me.

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it doesn't hurt less

haiku dump 1 (07/17/2015)

Amalagous spike
sitting white hot in my chest
hurts to know it's love

swilling the stars back
ebbing as the tides bleed through
beer ain't paradise

anonymity
living with no fingerprints,
no children in tow

 so thin, so brittle
self-scribed autobiographs
littering sad shelves
 

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five seven five could be a calibre

Napkin 4 (07/20/2015)

a breach of vacuum
will not always yield the vacuous
the same as how a void
is not described simply as emptiness
and antithesis
is not so easily made silent.

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the abyss gazes back parabolic reflections at the

Scott Peterson 2149 (07/17/2015)

My thumb is a fucking talon muthfukka
Uhm, IDK. Everyhing is basically the same with me. :/ 

>Churchill's imports also has van and cher coke. Closer than west ed. Also walkers chips.
>It's not necessarily a bad thing you know.

Well wtf why no one tell me dis?
How is that a good things

>Cause yuu aint' dead baby

At least dead would be something new.

>As they say
>To die would be ...

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this is my meditation scissors love company

malignamania (7/17/2015)

laughing at your own jokes:
hellbound, hellhound
dying at the speed of sound
white picket fencepost
rustic words of glastnost
coldwar kids half-lived on lithium
swept away in chariots, swung low
taken away, stillborn to the medium
of red star paradise
blossoms filtered, drank on ice
the innocent and damned
synonymous, milked and fed
to the anonymous
lying laying monogamous
fueling br...

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funeral home blues fire is a fascinator urns urns

bar prayer 1 (07/08/2015)

12 hours elapse
Willfully, I've relapsed
shaking my conscious addictions to sleep,
turned to edges, looking over precipices
painted cocaine white
"...fuck it -- " as I breathe in deep
teeter forward, 
break like green glass
in the weight of glasgow handshakes.

manic haze sets in concrete
and I'll beg you to leave your name on me,
carved into my wretched body
atop piles of bad history...

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i could love you if you let me

stepson icarus I (07/03-05/2015)

there is so much to be consumed;
there is so much to consume you

the flame-licking candles of summer love
the zenith where bending over backwards finally breaks
shatters the sky you've met as limits
and you come tumbling down, breaking every branch
at first trying to climb back up 
'I can fix this, I can fix this: I can be whatever you need me to be!'
then, trying not to fall so far
'Pl...

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the audacity of a ring i've never been so paralyze

hospital gown green (06/28/2015)

burnt bridges grown back by the flesh of sacrifice;
regrown and abraded: ground up as red obsidian
made for careless feet, tapping on solemn, hallowed ground
Bled dry and fed back to the living.

Sigh
so much time spent making noises
mouth-mimicks hiding treasure like a throat infection
coy as is want to do, need to be: my predilection
Parroting:
Insidious, obsidion, ponchus pilot myrmid...

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lung butter rum butter never meant to live this lo

A Maui Closer to Home

'I dream, day and night, of becoming one of those invisible little saints; I dream of touching the world with my actions unseen, but their effects rippling for miles, as stalks bend by the grace of the wind.

Were it only so easy for my clumsy human hands to lift the hearts of a panorama.'

words to drive fast by,
cheap and fleeting with the windows down,
summer screaming in and the life ins...

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hawaiian shirts feel like home

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