Great poem, Derek as I told you on LSPC reviews a bit back! Hope you are well! Andy N
Comment is about Derek Adams (poet profile)
Original item by Derek Adams
Pete Crompton
Fri 1st Aug 2008 20:01
I'm convinced blokes like messin about with women, err I MeAN messing about as women!
Comment is about The Liverpool Poetry Glam-Slam (article)
eye off the ball?
love all
so no net?
game set.
a super poem Antonioni
Comment is about Advantage (blog)
Nice one Antonio, you've set me up for the day in the rt race, feel very relaxed now! Nice lines and words Jeff
Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)
HI Mark, nice little poem here. Not many sheep "farmers" around Texas. You will see them just once in a while. Could be they are all up in Washington dressed in wolves clothing.
Comment is about Little Bo Peep 2008 Remix (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
<Deleted User> (5646)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 23:32
Nope. sorry. not on this occasion !!!
Comment is about Advantage (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 23:28
I'm re-inventing the Beatles song at present.
Six days a week. Gotta scrape some cash back from June, when i couldn't work.
Didn't expect you to change it, it's yours to do with as you please.
Thanks for comment to my sonnet.
Love Janet.xxx
Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 23:18
Haaa Haaa.
Baa baa black sheep would have been proud of her.
Comment is about Little Bo Peep 2008 Remix (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
<Deleted User> (5646)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 23:00
Oh yeah! Just like a man! Give in.
This isn't meant to be a tennis courtship sonnet is it Antoninoni? There's two painted lines missing.
Advantage me.
Your serve.
Janet.xx
Comment is about Advantage (blog)
<Deleted User> (3509)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 22:43
beautiful idea of tennis and love. Ha ha love. That says it all. Nice one Antionioni
Comment is about Advantage (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 22:41
Hello stranger. My emails have been coming through a day late as well. Must be something to do with the weather eh?
Or maybe it's the earth doing another rotation, messing up the satellite systems etc...
( incidentally, it is actually getting ready to turn.)
Anyway, after that little gem, i like your words of wisdom. Absolutely spot on!
Hope you don't mind my saying though, the end of the second line, although it fits in with the rhyming scheme. Somehow it loses the rhythm.
Does that make sense. Ignore me if you like, it was just an observation i made as i read it.
Love Janet.xx
Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)
<Deleted User> (5110)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 22:17
Thanks David for the comment.
hope you enjoy my myspace site.
i'm still learning all this, so some are better than others. i'll keep practicing!!!!
thanks
woman
Comment is about David Franks: Walkabouts Verse (poet profile)
Original item by David Franks: Walkabouts Verse
Lovely tribute Carol to a wonderful mum by the sounds of it, love the first 2 lines, Jeff
Comment is about Worn (blog)
Original item by Carol Falaki
Thanks Darren,
I think you are right and I'll have a look at it over the weekend. Thanks again. I like constructive.
Comment is about Worn (blog)
Original item by Carol Falaki
darren thomas
Thu 31st Jul 2008 16:01
Not from the top of my head. There is an 'Emily' on this site and she reinforces your theory. Phonetically, it sounds as appealing as it looks. You could poke your finger into the name's letters and just stare as they morph slowly back into shape.
Comment is about Emily (blog)
<Deleted User> (4979)
Thu 31st Jul 2008 15:55
Thanks Darren.
Can you think of an ugly Emily though seriously?
I liked your Mental Virus entries too. I think this one has been the best yet
Comment is about Emily (blog)
darren thomas
Thu 31st Jul 2008 15:41
Sean - I like this. I like it a lot.
Comment is about Emily (blog)
Thanks Mark. Finally got round to getting my profile up there. Your humorous stuff (addiction, symptoms of love and the day the world died) had me tittering away. Lovely dry punning.
Comment is about Sean Kavanagh (poet profile)
Original item by Sean Kavanagh
darren thomas
Thu 31st Jul 2008 00:28
Hi Carol -it's the word 'commodious' that I struggled with. It felt like I'd dropped a load of marbles onto the floor when I read it. The letters just seemed to spill and bounce everywhere, and I don't understand how it fits in with the birds - given its definition. Plus, it's an archaic word in some contexts and I always struggle with archaic words in poetry, especially when they're mixed with more contemporary words. Is there not a synonym that could fill its shoes. Shoes that are not as cumbersome or awkward. Shoes, like, say, err - open sandals? Comfy shoes.
Comment is about Worn (blog)
Original item by Carol Falaki
Really nice work Sean
Welcome
Mark
Comment is about Sean Kavanagh (poet profile)
Original item by Sean Kavanagh
<Deleted User> (3509)
Wed 30th Jul 2008 23:07
Hi
I understand the rat race. Enjoyed your poem.
Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)
Antonionioni,
Thank ewe!
Comment is about Little Bo Peep 2008 Remix (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
darren thomas
Wed 30th Jul 2008 11:39
I enjoyed this too. From a poetic point of view it is written in a style that i enjoy most. Plenty of imagery, very few or no clichés and a poetic turn which on this occasion arrives with the last line.
There were perhaps one or two words that felt like swallowing a cocktail stick but overall it 'felt' good. Personally, I don't drink too much tea and coffee so I don't have a favourite and lasting mug.
If I did, it would probably say 'most opinionated t****r in the world'.
Comment is about Worn (blog)
Original item by Carol Falaki
<Deleted User> (5247)
Wed 30th Jul 2008 11:26
Well done that man my SON, love him to bits, I too write, but not out loud, maybe one day if I am invited to do so. Heart of gold he has. June Slater
Comment is about Pete Crompton Does it Again! (article)
I hope you see the light, Penny and put your musical skills into English folk, rather than American pop...The Beatles even tried talking with American accents - should we admire them?
Comment is about Penny Broadhurst (poet profile)
Original item by Penny Broadhurst
<Deleted User> (4281)
Wed 30th Jul 2008 05:45
Dear Carol
Excellent poem - Bravo!
Life embraced in your write, and it shows that is not an easy one. The metamorphosis is there...This one is very profound!
""To a house with tired windows
In skin exposed to weather""
The poem shows love that only mother can give. Awesome creativity- really like this poem!
Thank you,
Zuzanna
Comment is about Worn (blog)
Original item by Carol Falaki
Thanks Jeff and Janet for your comments. It's always encouraging to find a twist works.
Janet, finding out you're as cool as Lara Croft - what a great day that must have been!
Mark
Comment is about Addiction (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
Photographs by Gemma O'Neill
Comment is about Wenceslas Kapesa-Chanda makes his debut at the Cambridge, Bordeaux July 2008 (photo)
<Deleted User>
Tue 29th Jul 2008 22:50
I am pleased Louise became the runner up, I am her Mum.She has a way with words.
Comment is about Louise Fazakerly, runner up at the 2008 North-by-North-West Festival at the Tudor House in Wigan (photo)
Hi Mark, great little poem, great twist, nice one Jeff
Comment is about Addiction (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
Photographs of Pete Crompton by Howard Haigh.
All other photographs by John Togher.
Comment is about Pete Crompton, winner of the 2008 North-by-North-West Festival at the Tudor House in Wigan (photo)
Photographs by Gemma O'Neill
Comment is about Gemma O'Neill at the Boars Head, Middleton July 2008 (photo)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Tue 29th Jul 2008 10:04
This is really neat. I like it.
Enid Blyton in the same poem as Lara Croft. Imagine that!
I used to love the famous five books.
There was a poster of Lara Croft in my old shop once. My niece pointed to it and said, "that's you aunty Janet." When i asked what she meant by that, she told me i'm the angel of darkness.
How good is that?
This is what poetry does for me. Evokes feelings and memories, and i love it! xx
Comment is about Addiction (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
HI Melissa, Nice song you have here! I do understand the feelings. You are such a dear and sensitive soul, that you think so much and feel so much. I feel the same way at times. hope your well, your friend in poetry Clarissa
Comment is about Across The Page (blog)
Hi Melissa, really identified with the mental torment here, so powerfully written, love the last stanza, thanks and thank you for your comments, Jeff
Comment is about Across The Page (blog)
<Deleted User> (4442)
Mon 28th Jul 2008 19:37
Hi Gemma
It's a pleasure, I'm so happy you like the poem, hope Chris liks it too.
I love the way you perform your work. I'm there in the poem, carried along by your words.
Lynda x
Comment is about Gemma Lees (poet profile)
Original item by Gemma Lees
Hi Antonio, got your finger on the pulse as usual!! Can rely on you for that! He could be okay, will be interesting though whatever, with the black issue, could be a refreshing change from the smarmy Bush!
You can never tell though with a country that votes in Reagan, can't help thinking of spitting image - to Mr Reagan 'What do you think of Gadaffi' - Reagan - 'I just love that little duck!' cheers Jeffarama!
Comment is about Calmer about Obama (blog)
Thanks very much for your feedback. I think your poem goes very well with mine, it's so busy sounding, it really gives you the image of people bustling about on a city street. See you next month at Middleton.
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Thanks Darren. I liked your poems too.
This is one of my performance ones in a set of comedy poems. I'm getting a nice reaction to them and trying to submerge the punchlines below the surface is the challenge!
Good luck with all your work too
Regards
Mark
Comment is about Addiction (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
Hi Gemma, great to meet you briefly last night, really liked the 'Bolton' poem. Enjoyed your performance of it too, thats something I'm just learning at the moment!
Enjoyed my first time and appearance at the Old Boars Head and will be there next time.
Enjoyed reading your work on here, love the 'Blackpool Rock' poem brilliant.
The poem I've got on my profile about watching people that I mentioned is in my samples called 'I know you're there'.
If you have a look at that and any others would appreciate your feedback, cheers see ya soon Jeffarama!
Comment is about Gemma Lees (poet profile)
Original item by Gemma Lees
darren thomas
Mon 28th Jul 2008 11:13
Very good. Nice twist. This would work well in performance with several other similar pieces.
Hello, by the way.
Comment is about Addiction (blog)
Original item by Mark Niel
<Deleted User> (4281)
Mon 28th Jul 2008 08:03
Dear Melissa
Please do not despair we still have enough air to breath? Worrying will not get you ahead. I though just to live perhaps more modest and that is good with me. Thought will share my thoughts with you. We are also have difficult time with the cost of living here in Canada. The cost has been increased in all areas, Food and housing is extremely expensive also the Gasoline and here we do not have a proper transportation the one can get from point A to B..
Thank you and be well...Zuzanna
Comment is about Across The Page (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sun 27th Jul 2008 20:28
Kids adventures. Aren't they great.
It reminds me of my childhood. Three in a bed, literally. All pretending to be asleep and stifling giggles by trying to make them sound like snores.
Thankyou for the smiley memory :-)
Janet.xx
Comment is about Jack (blog)
Original item by Phil Golding
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sun 27th Jul 2008 19:53
Hi Jordan. May i make a suggestion?
Drop "again" from the second line and "the" from the last.
Personally, i feel the imagery becomes more profound and wider scale.
Quite a modern uptake on haiku.
Love Janet.x
Comment is about Tears Haiku (blog)
Original item by Jordan
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sun 27th Jul 2008 19:39
Whispers of my heart, pour through the ink.
Everything locked inside become words on the page.
These lines say it all Melissa. For most writers i think. Love Janet.xx
Comment is about Across The Page (blog)
HI Antonio,
Obama in a way is like a Kennedy, same talk. He is a member of the same clubs as the big familys, such as the tri lateral commision, the on the surface looks like a nice group, but infact is for globalization. The 2 party system was long ago infiltrated by big media and neither party represents the values set out at the founding of the partys or for that matter this country. Many that dwell on the future can see it play out a few ways. one, he could end up like Kennedy, that will set of riots. Two its looking as if we shall end up in another war with Iran, if that happens, we dont have the man power to do it, no draft in place, so it will be with nuks. Now if Bush can do that, lets say there is another "terrorist" attack before the elections, He has the power to cancel the elections, impose martial law.He will get the wars he wants, its a power grab. They have through globalization created a mess, they have made other countrys wealthy, to the point that they have money, nuks,and a need for oil. When oil prices go up, the dollar falls. Not sure why.But enough of all that, we are all watching. Mccain could win, but it would be false election votes.Its a shame really the one man that could have changed it for us, was never given any air time by big media. good write. In my opinion, Obama is a show boat, not enough experience.I all so think he is muslim, and is just not saying so. I hope that Im wrong, I hope it gets better. take care
Comment is about Calmer about Obama (blog)
<Deleted User> (4281)
Sat 26th Jul 2008 23:53
Dear Melissa
The song or Lyrics is up to date with such wonderful thought provoking lines to the one that comes to read this write. You have captured reality well. It is all over the World now the heaviness of the increasing cost of living and the salary are low. It will bring the World down if this is going to continuous like this. I am not a visionary but anyone can feel the impact of the prices we pay. Very wise write-Thank you foe sharing!
Have a great weekend!
Zuzanna
xx
Comment is about Across The Page (blog)
Thank you Jeff and Tim for your kinds. My youngest son Jack, agred 9, was my inspiration behind this poem. I was reading to him, in his mums bed when the words came to me. I had to dash to write the basic framework before finishing writing the poem. Thank you Jeff for the ultimate complement of showing your daughter.
Comment is about Jack (blog)
Original item by Phil Golding
Andy N
Fri 1st Aug 2008 20:45
Didn't know you were on here Kylyra, but of great to see you here.. I don't think you need to know how good I think your stuff is, but it's excellent of course!
Comment is about Kylyra Ameringer (poet profile)
Original item by Kylyra Ameringer