I hope this finds you somehow

on a train 

or walking to a lecture 

or waking up to the sound of the clocktower 

I hope somehow it finds you 

So I can tell you 

without saying a word at all 

I miss you like hell

and I love you to pieces

I didn't mean for this to happen 

I could call 

but I think hearing your voice would still hurt

I could text...

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You left me

        half-full plant pot ashtrays, old mugs of midnight teas, a jacket you spent too much on, the dregs from cheap red wine, rolled up train tickets, desecrated baggies,

                                                                              and a dent on your side of the bed.

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You think you can 
break my heart
without breaking 
your own?

We are one. 

Your tears 
are my tears.
My tears stream 
down your face.

Interwined energy,
we try to escape,
but it keeps pulling us back 
to this silent space.

You turn away,
nothing to say,
rue the day.

I laugh through the tears, 
because I know we will be 
bound again for years, 

lifetimes...

Our des...

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Willpower and discipline,
have long been two of the 
most despised words in the 
english language to me.

What character flaw prevents  
the willpower and discipline
necessary to be the person
I imagine myself capable of being?

A half-lived life is heartbreaking.
There is no acceptable excuse, 
not age or disability.

Even people with no limbs 
live empowered lives 
built on willp...

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All day long 

I think of you. 

I can’t wait to get home 

to be with you,

to feel your ink drip 

between my fingers.

You are my love,

my passion,

my muse.

I know you will 

never leave me. 

We are bound 

by a legacy of words, 

that braids our soul.

Our poetry echoes 

through time and space, 

leaves a soft place 

for broken hearts to land. 

# # # 

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My time

Is not mine

But our time

You’ve made your bed in my dreams

I lie in it

But 

this isn’t me

See,

I would part with my skin

If it weren’t attached 

And never look back

But

Each night when I close my eyes for sleep

I see you in my head

Your feet poke out one side of your bed

And oh,

It makes me giddy for you

And so,

I end up crawling in bes...

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Every song has a river 

every boat has a name 

every being has a purpose 

each purpose is the same

When I said I'd die for you 

I was really already dead 

those tears cried of sadness

were tears of emptiness instead

When you said you'd write to me

the writing was on the wall

I'm not really waiting

silence on a deaf ear falls

When I said I miss you

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When I was younger 

all I did was hunger

to be in your loving arms

to feel your warm embrace 

but all you did was spread me 

all over the place

your constant discontent 

ate at the layers 

the layers of my skin

my tissue was your issue

it wasn’t of your kin

I wasn’t made of your DNA

so you left me malnourished 

my flesh would rot

I would beg you

to heal...

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Searching for you

You’re the word

On the tip of my tongue

- tip - tip – tick – tock

You’re the face on my clock

Yes!

You’re the catch in my breath

Like if I was to cough

Words of you

Would just tumble out

Like if I was to shout

Words of you

Would just rumble out

You’re built into my skull

You’re the clutch over my brain

You’re running through my veins

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Pills and powders flying around the streets, each dealer adding their own unique twist to create a bigger batch of what they call a treat. A lads night out, a festival gone wrong, it doesn’t take much for you not to be so strong. “I know my limit” they say, but the pill that you pop may lead you astray, all that you’ve worked for, all who you love, gone in a flash over a dodgy bag of drugs. Laying...

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A perfect match - strike anywhere.

A perfect love - what happened there?

I walked away without a care,

but turned and tripped on your last stare.

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I fell.
I fell expecting she would catch me before I sunk into the dark hole of my own wishes and beliefs. 
As i fell, 
Thoughts and questions ran through my head. 
What is love?
It's a feeling of deep affection,
But this love is more of a fatal attraction. 
When you love someone more than they will ever love you,
It becomes more like envy and fuel that feeds into your hopes and dreams of ...

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Dear Truly Beloved Customer Care

I have a small problem with one of your wares

I’m not after a new one or a replacement spare

Just wondered if this one is not beyond repair

In Ninety-One you gave me this heart

Which really was awfully sweet

I wasn’t too smart, broke it apart

How I’ve tried to make it complete

Yet now I fear, after 23 years, it appears

I have cocked up it...

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The thought of you brings tears to my eyes

It fills me with anger the type of anger where

the hair on my arms stand at attention. 

My mind recalling all the times you put me in my place.

Reminding me I was nothing more than an ego boost for you.

If I gave you my blood, sweat, heart, and my tears 

would that be enough for you to love me the way I deserve to be loved?

Then again...

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I crave a long talk with you

The kind where we sit in your car at 1 a.m. and tell 

eachother about our hopes and dreams 

hoping for a better future and begging for a fresh start

I miss the nights where we kicked it in my basement 

when you not only played my guitar but my heart

when you told me you were scared of what was coming next 

and I told you I believed in you 

I lon...

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I see you lurking about
making him say 
sweet nothings
to lure me out.

This time 
I am being smart,
walling off 
my broken heart.

Using your 
flaming arrows
to paint the sky.

Let the world know
you are really 
not a nice guy.

You are a trickster
who makes girls cry
with your stupid lies.

My schooled soul 
knows the truth
betrayed.

Romantic love
is an illusion,
pas...

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I panicked today. 

The reality of my mortality hit me. 

I believe in reincarnation, this manifestation isn’t the end. 

But the finality of my current reality, 

stirs a new uneasiness in my soul. 

I Panicked today. 

How could my soul ever survive 

without you by my side, 

The custodian of my heart, 

in new life torn apart, 

incomplete, unable to be one. 

I...

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Let me move to a new place,
Where none knows my name,
And I know they will  start judging,
As Everyone is just the same.
But till then ,
Let me find a new love, 
New memories to let go my pain,
You can take my hand,
And please ask me to dance in the rain.
I know our love would break,
Just like all other affairs I had,
Some would say I had no brains, 
And I am the reason you are sad,
B...

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Today I learnt to cry alone,

Soon I’ll learn to live alone too..

Walking through the grass

Running on the fields

Climbing the mountains

You were always a shield...

Never imagined a life without you,

Neither in dreams we were away,

In laughter in tears I was with you,

I was with you each night each day,

From feeling of hope to thought to love,

Each da...

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And all at once

We revisted the site

Where the wounded lie

We examined their injuries

Doing our best to determine

If they were fatal

It requires a detached rationale

It laughs in the face of pure emotion

For life is smarter than you think

Forever your opponent

Even when pretending

To be a friend

For life brought me you

Star crossed

And ...

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Forever ago may seem 
like 20 years of gray,
but I live forever every day.

There is no escape.

It's not the passion I miss,
I keep that memory sealed 
in a concrete kiss.

It's the lyrical 
soul connection
that went on months

before our egos
got in the way. 

In the forever between
tears and heartbreak, 

we managed 
to find ourselves 

and our destiny, here 
on this pag...

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I feel my mind slipping, 

almost dangling from a cliff. 

Obsession and love are different, 

Yet similar with a twist. 

You left me in the cold, 

And so I left you behind. 

Although it breaks my heart 

this is my time to shine.

To fend for myself, 

That was the first lesson, 

A scared little girl,

With no direction. 

Which way do I turn? 

D...

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There you are beaming 
at everyone you meet
posting highlights,
keeping it together. 

But, I see your soul scars...
loneliness, heartbreak,
disappointment, addiction,
depression, despair...

It's enough to turn
most souls to dust.

But not us.

Diamonds are made from 
coal under pressure.

Show your scars,
keep the faith,
and shine on.

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