I feel a little more me today 

The crying spell has passed 

With each hour, ticking by softly, my lungs awaken

I breathe easier now

I enjoyed my morning coffee 

Sat by the steamy windows 

Watching the sunrise slowly emerge from behind the dewy grass 

Colour is returning to my cheeks 

Repairing some part of the fragile soul I was two days ago

I dream 

Ag...

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I am at the pit of my breakdown

Saying goodbye to sleep I once loved

Food I could once eat without nausea 

Dreams 

That once allowed rest

Help me 

I pray 

Sitting on the floor sobbing 

Do I allow this pain to make me human

Or wish it away?

I bring these matters to You 

I cannot do it alone 

I’m still processing 

Picking out the safest part...

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There is a pit inside of me 

A deep, dark abyss where the negative thoughts grow 

“I will fail” 

“I cannot do this”

That is why 

When I look at you, there is pain behind my eyes

Bleeding onto my cheeks 

Staining all that surrounds me 

This bubble of safety 

Does not always contain it 

This is what high functioning looks like 

From afar, it is well co...

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the cobra

                  w

                      r

                        a

                     p

                 s

                    its tail around my neck

its name is

                     anxiety.

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I lay on a hard mattress curled in the foetal position,

wrapped in a chrysalis of darkness.

A fancy metaphor could not explain the meaning of life,

it had simply become irrelevant.

I had become so skinny that my skin was pulled

guitar string taut over aching bones,

that doctors had threatened to hospitalise me.

But now, allergic to life, my skin peeled at the thought of being.

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Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]

Where’s me head? … It’s in the sand

Its life has gotten out of hand

Things very rarely go as planned

If I do or I don’t, I end up damned

Where’s me head? … It’s way out west

It’s tired of people who know best

It needs a break, it needs a rest

It needs to get shit off its chest

Where’s me head? … It’s lost the plot

It...

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The following piece is a snippet from Buzzin Bards Manchester Poetry Anthology, submissions are still open at:  https://www.localgemspoetrypress.com/buzzin-bards-poetry-anthology.html

While you’re too busy being two-faced 

I’ve got one face with many layers. 

Take me at face value, or take a detour, 

reforged, like Ant Man upon my deep pores. 

Tryna get 1UP, that’s a weak score...

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Be kind... I am still getting used to writing after my stroke. It’s so hard but a friend’s experience prompted this one . Assisted technology sounds bizarre  reading back such a sensitive topic. I hope it still works as a poem. 

Gas light

It’s not a street light. 

It’s so hard to see. 

So unaware,

It frightens me. 

I’m not worth it.

Am I to blame? 

Is it my f...

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Lonely,but never alone , courtesy, of these voices,
Drowning out , my natural thought process,
affecting, how I make choice's.

Controling my mind, totaly possessed,
Punishing me for what? Disturbing my rest.

In fact I'm so controlled ,that all my life I've been unaware,
Didn't know ,any different, assumed they were suppose to be there.

Intrusive in voluntary thoughts
no filters in my...

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I come from a dark place

Naturally 

The land of no return some may call it 

Making my way back up to the surface 

After living in my head for 

I pay homage to the fall and winter 

Because it brings me closer to myself 

Yet I am starting to notice how much I have been ignoring the light 

How does the spring and summer affect me?

Besides being hot and feeling like I want t...

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I come from a dark place

Naturally 

The land of no return some may call it 

Making my way back up to the surface 

After living in my head for 

I pay homage to the fall and winter 

Because it brings me closer to myself 

Yet I am starting to notice how much I have been ignoring the light 

How does the spring and summer affect me?

Besides being hot and feeling like I want t...

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What is the scale of reality?

We all have our own truths

Our own views

How do you quantify actuality?

“A fantasy is a vision

It is solely in your vision

It is envisioned by you

A vision is a fantasy”

But saints had visions!

Politicians have visions!

Some people have double vision

Anyone that has sight has vision

Whether they have a sixth sense

Or no...

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The numb thump of my heart beating against my rib cadge, 

Unknown pain of sadness always giving me rage.

Desperately grasping at the last memories that I had with you,

Tears roll down my face when I find thats an issue.

The blood in my veins is so hard to contain, 

The thoughts of death flood through to my brain.

Hard to fight past the devil inside of me, 

I promise my na...

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She’s a bright star, within the unlit night 

Guiding others through, the tough thing, that we call life 

Her strength is beyond admirable to all 

And even if she should ever fall 

She would somehow, pull though 

The things, that to others, it would inevitably un-do 

Her beauty and grace, isn’t just a way to save face 

She's had to fight great wars, every single day 

Even wh...

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Nothing.

Till I woke up 

then you spoke up

screamingng in my head.

Losing that weight again

with words of encouragement

ignoring the ills of my mind

pushing me back to when "You looked so much better".

Look inside.

Whiplash.

Punches.

Ugly words.

Oh no sorry.

You don't want to know

you just want to see

Perfection.

Smile.

Laugh.

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This Rhyme Upsets the Rhymer – Understanding Bipolar Disorder

Preamble

Robin Williams was bipolar. Bipolars oscillate from extreme highs (mania) to extreme lows (depression). One can give you great creative power (mania), the other can kill (depression). Robin Williams displayed the typical symptoms of mania – rapid speech, racing thoughts.(see youtube clip)  He suicided in a cycle of b...

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Do you ever wonder?

Do you ever wonder what it's like to hear nothing but the sound of your own heart beat?

To see nothing but the world 

And feel the grass under your feet 

Do you ever wonder what it's like 

To walk around with your head held high 

Feeling nothing but happiness 

Fearing nothing and no one just looking to the sky 

Do you ever wonder how lucky you are to bre...

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On my fathers side,

They ignored the elephant

On the living room couch

And called it toughness.

This was how they turned

Whisky

Percocet

Wife and kids

Into therapy. 

This was how my cousin

Turned a belt into a noose

In his closet.

This was how they called 

my aunt the "bitter black woman" 

stereotype and how they saw

her charge to  dim

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