Spun -
A burnout —
driven to madness
and
crashing,
in a
drug fueled accident

What a catastrophe!

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at times I find myself
with insight
into my third eye
the inward perception
of crystalline tears
holding onto emotions
looking for one thing

The truth

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Just leave me alone and let me find peace
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to weep
Who’s are the voices inside my head?
Why do they hate me? 
What have I said?
Why let them get to me?
What do I say?
Why can’t I make them all just go away?
Why do I feel I have to paint on a smile?
Why can’t I just be ‘me’ for a while?
These are the questions I’m asking each day
The voices, the demons I...

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a year now since she died

life never been the same

loving eyes that llit my life

till she fell and got lame

her back end had collapsed

lost control of her bladder

lay there still in the garden

never saw anything sadder

vet had to give her the jab

said she'd suffer no pain

ashes rest on my dresser

but I'll not see her again

all I have is her leathe...

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Seeing the shadow in vision
Getting feared of what the great poison
Hiding out back to the scratch
Tired of being what they're interpreted 
To be looked up in the sun
To be puked in deep water run
To be lost in relief distance
I was fight, 
But no lights were made
So where is is heading through wind? 
Passing it off to be betrayed and seen
That soak tree's been relied on
As this volt i...

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She spoke such pretty little lies
That hypnotized 
Oneself to bend at will
Slowly became to wilt
Like a rose without water
The beauty of red
Began to shed
Into a shattered brown
Cut down 
Till there was nothing left
But a dead rose
And it's thorns.

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At group therapy we met

Eye contact at a premium

In terms of looks she was

Bordering upon medium

Mam and brother hated

She came to stay at mine

I rarely saw her sober

She hid a stash of wine

I really tried to love her

But I didn't have a clue

She'd bled, half-formed,

Out of somewhere blue

Men she cordially hated

I was a means to an end

A saf...

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I'm always thinking about the day we first met,

It's definitely something that I'll never forget,

The first thing I remember was that gorgeous smile,

It left me dumbstruck and uncontrollably docile,

The next thing I noticed were those glistening blue eyes,

I was lost in my thoughts dazed and hypnotized,

How does God put so much beauty into one thing?

I thought she was an angel...

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In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.

No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.

Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.

Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.

'Try to stay po...

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I really wish I went to college 
I can’t believe I trusted that bitch
But was it love or just a lack of knowledge 
Shit hurt my heart seeing my big brother 
Cuff a bitch that had mileage 
He went to jail, she told him I tried to fuck ha
Ian even have no money 
So ion even know why the butch was lying 
Niggas buy anything a bitch tell em when they in jail  
But damn big Jevo Ian even have ...

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My heart aches

My chest is heavy

I can't sleep from visions of -

what could have been and what were -

play through my mind.

My eyes are dry from crying endlessly

My breathe is shuttered from the words -

I wish I could have said to you.

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I don't like my brain today.
It's bringing me down,
In more than one way.
It doesn't really matter
What anyone will say.

I really don't know why,
I always feel this way.
When it starts to get cold,
And the sky turns grey.

I don't want to be here today.
I tell my co-worker,
As he slowly walks away.
He agrees with me,
But knows not what I say

Please beg me to stay.
I need to fee...

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This poem is for all those who find this life a trial. Keep on keeping on, as someone once remarked.

Buried in the Sunlight

Eleanor played the pipes as a piper should,

flying light with grace and flair and swing,

with airs like a wind band in the deep greenwood:

dancing her careless heart towards an Appalachian spring.

All who knew her, all for whom her life seemed bles...

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I hope you think of me every night in your dreams.

I hope you see me in everyone you date.

I hope you wish I would come back.

I hope you  see me and feel the pain I felt  while we were together.

I hope  you  hear my cries, feel my pain and see my tears.

I hope every time you close your eyes  you see me with him.

I want you to hate yourself for everything you’ve done to me

I wa...

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Death warmed up
Dead weight 
Empty
Useless
Invisible 
Broken 
Slow combustion 
Pain 
Grief
Muddled 
Lost
Depressed 
Flattened 
Squashed 
Trapped
Stuck
Suffocating 
Confused
Weak 
Exhausted 
Enraged 
Pathetic
Stupid 
Ridiculous 
Every cell is sad
Has given up
Just an empty, breathing vessel.

Is this what it is like at the lowest point? 
Or is there further to fall? 
I...

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Many words Ive put to papers in an effort to taper
the stress of life's capers hoping it vanishes like vapor 
but their lies deep inside a wound that hides and may never find treatment 
an indecent demon dreaming of beatings so frequent
No reason for the recent fleeting secret meetings and agreements
he's attempting quite tenaciously to tear this tainted wound open voraciously 
and fatally, ...

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Appreciated
Is something I rarely feel
Told how much I screw up

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The crack of dawn, yet absent of light

Darker than the hours preceding

Only one could dread a new day

But it's a constant battle and endless fight

To rise from this dungeon

To enter this isolated Hell

The morning is slow, yet all too short

Lead weights on all limbs and eyes

No routine, but a mission

To begin each day, Only to distort

The true soul trapped inside

Ac...

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Emotionally unstable?

Life becomes a series of two periods.

One where you feel good and life is great,

and one where every day is a bumpy ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

When on the verge of tears, it’s always a close call holding them back, not letting them fall.

 I discovered that when on the verge of tears,

I hold my breath in an attempt to wait it out.

Stupidly trying ...

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You see my smile,
you hear my laughter,
and you see my general glow
of happiness that is fake.
Because on the inside
there's my frown
that you don't see,
there's my cry for help
that you don't hear,
and there's my general glow
of darkness that is true,
but no one knows.

No one knows
what goes through my mind
when i smile on the outside.

No one one knows
how I actually feel,
or...

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I was young and worked in a garage. I was in the wrong job, aged 17. Why did I end up there? Was it fate punishing me for not joining the RAF? Other people thought I’d be good at fixing cars. I wasn’t; I was barely ok. Think of quiet me in a real man’s world. It was a daunting thought and there I was.

It was ok at first but soon went wrong. Trying to take a Volvo’s bumper o...

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JOY OF BEING ALONE

The joy of being alone is an empty joy, one to be celebrated alone because one is alone.                                                                                                                                                                                                                       You don’t celebrate the joy of being alone with a friend, p...

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