existential (Remove filter)
Swallow Me, 2
You would be doing me a favor
that I find impossible to gift myself.
Less death since one could say
my soul passed away
a long time ago,
Silently.
Like the serenity I long for.
No, not non-existence,
just
silence.
I scream a cackle into the
cushions of my sofa
as the irony coats the inside of my mouth.
I must have
deserved
the ranci...
Wednesday 24th July 2024 2:10 am
Swallow Me
I slink around in my one-bedroom apartment
wallowing in my loneliness.
It feels like everyone who I have ever loved has
absconded from my grasp.
Shockingly,
they all fled in their own unique fashion.
Some moved away.
Some I moved away from.
Some turned out to be different
from whom I thought they
ought to be.
Some transformed into something more
sinister
...Sunday 21st July 2024 12:28 am
Rust
I'm afraid I'll lose my edge
if I don't cut myself with it
afraid there's no proof
of my life
if it isn't pouring crimson
afraid that
I'm living in vain if
I'm not
living in vein
Im afraid I'll lose my edge
if I don't cut myself with it
Sunday 21st July 2024 12:06 am
Raw eggs
I tried beautiful,
I tried pristine,
I was no good at it
I’m not neat within
I’m not “clean”
Even externally, I cannot master
Clearing every bit of clutter
I’m raw, like an egg
It’s not pretty to have a cracked head
But if I don’t
I’m practically dead
As inanimate and detached as my wooden bed
To be raw is
Painful,
Ugly,
Messy,
But it’s rich with fee...
Friday 8th September 2023 5:25 pm
Vital
The haunting of a broken tap: drip, drop
The thirst after the sun: drink, gulp
She never said a lot, gargling girl
Sliding in and out of my body
Helping me breathe, walk, talk
That was why I swam
It was water
Brought me alive floating out to No Man’s
Diving down to skim the sand
It was water
Wanted it, always had it, but could never catch it.
It was water
Insipi...
Tuesday 28th February 2023 7:17 pm
Colours
I feel like a blank sheet of paper
White and clean
A colourless vapour
just emptiness
and nothing else
not good
or bad
just
nothing
nothing at all
like a black hole
it’s as if white is not a colour
it’s just
when you don’t have any
no yellow smiles
no grey trials
no tears running blue
no red beds for two
no black roses
for all the losses
...
Thursday 17th November 2022 8:53 pm
On Man
On Man
Like tiny ants we scurry
Between skyscrapers of grass,
Peeping about - a human worker class.
Watching ourselves surpassing all limits,
Creators of structures, cultures, unimaginable wonders.
Finding God thriving within us.
Do we think the ant knows of it’s impending mortality?
Knows it’s destined to a life of sheer ephemerality?
Or knows it’s intricate c...
Tuesday 23rd August 2022 1:17 am
Frayed blanket end
Look left, look right
look up and down
this world is yours to grasp
But how, you ask, can tiny fingers cage this winding land?
Skeins of yarn that track behind
this tattered blanket's end
Scurl and furl, the webs of fate
knit in seeming whim
A spiders web, intricate order
cast in gossamer strands
To trap and tremble sweet memories,
the prey this spider hunts
No different are these imag...
Wednesday 1st December 2021 11:03 pm
Lost Eternity
Fate comes, though we see it not
Time treads onward, however we dig in our heels
Vigilance toward one threat leads to negligence of another,
and the cruel limits of mortality aren't shy in their reminder
It is this ceaseless grasping at what can only slip through our fingers,
this continued effort at being or creating something which stands outside time that withers our hearts so.
Desire and...
Monday 22nd November 2021 7:24 pm
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