nonsense (Remove filter)
A Dog And A Frog On A Spoon
a dog and a frog
who stood on a spoon
and went round the town
in their dressing gown
said the dog to the frog
oh lets spoon to the moon
so they jumped up and down
and the spoon left the ground
look look oh look at the moon
how truly exciting said the dog
spoon spoon we went on a spoon
would you believe it said the frog
to the moon to the moon
t...
Sunday 20th October 2024 7:17 am
A Fairly Scary Ghostly Host
a creak, an eek and eery melt
in darkness subtle shimmer felt
berroling, droom in shadow dealt
tip-tipping softly shooming out
a ghost that leaked and trickled through
the walls with leeg and gentle woo
a seep and freep from room to room
maroding gooey down stairways too
the air was still but full of groan
in silence, goosebump’s ready tone
weel in seel in f...
Saturday 19th October 2024 7:27 am
Old Woodbeard
argh
the wooden pirate
with a real leg
‘pon his left shoulder
not a parrot but a peg
argh
his ship inverted
sailed ‘neath the wave
and in his treasure chest
was a craggy cave
argh
he roared with rum
empty barrels were full
his flag was white
black bones and skull
argh
the flag though ripped
caught on his hook
but not for a hand
...Friday 18th October 2024 8:29 am
Darn Owl Not Barn Owl
I swallowed an owl
I didn’t mean too
it flew in when my mouth was open
as I stood admiring a flowery garden
its feathers tickled making me cough
and scoff
a lot
panic and shout
and a little while later
then the darn thing flew out!
Thursday 17th October 2024 7:26 am
The Crazy World Of The Fruit And Veg Folk
mr onion with his mad mad hair
miss pepper with her smoothen skin
mrs lemon looking so so fair
master cauliflower’s complexion
the long long nose of sir carrot
the red red face of dame tomato
the velvet touch of lady apricot
the rustic charm of lord potato
father pumpkin’s autumn face
grandma asparagus’ spring fingers
mother strawberry’s summer grace
gran...
Tuesday 15th October 2024 7:23 am
To Sea You See
I packed my worth on a dinner plate
and walked afar out to sea
you see
I reached an odd little island
shaped like a banana and pea
you see
I met a blue polka dot creature
with a hot pot of honey and tea
you see
I was poured a mug and we talked
such a charming and wise pigmy
you see
I realised the hour was late
better get back to home said ...
Monday 14th October 2024 2:51 pm
Ostrich Learning To Swim
an ostrich learning to swim in the sea
his neck like a stick floating vertically
swirling and rounding
and bobbing a wave
an invisible hand stirs a big cup of tea
Sunday 13th October 2024 9:45 am
Perfection
when I look at a bird
in a tree
the first thing
I notice is
its colours
are
within the lines
Saturday 12th October 2024 8:41 am
The Haunting Scary Broogle
bescare the Broogle stalking the stair
floiting hoiting loitering there
the Broogle the Broogle its howl of a scare
heeden oh heedon unsqueem beware
the Broogle the Broogle stalking the stair
befear the Broogle creepingly near
gooling hooling gathering here
the Broogle the Broogle emitting a fear
hissen oh hissen frooting the ear
the Broogle the Broogle creepingly n...
Friday 11th October 2024 8:54 am
Shrew In A Shoe
o shrew in a shoe
shoo shoo
but he wouldn’t go
chew through the shoe
shoo shoo
chewed from heel to toe
nurse a poor tum
shoo shoo
he belched and was ill
greedy old shrew
shoo shoo
you’ve eaten your fill
find a new home
shoo shoo
one you can’t chew
its pair you jump to
shoo shoo
o shrew in a shoe
Monday 7th October 2024 7:26 am
Old Bazzam - The Gallu-Gallu Ghost
begroan the ghoul who floots the floor
it sidles wodely rombles
and seen by some who vallacate
the hotel rooms it froodles
midnight is the time they say
the gallu-gallu grumbles
shrumbling in the corridors
and shrooning down the stairalls
intriguers flock from far and foyle
to witness Old Bazzam
and stay a night at their behowl
to see the ghoul then scram
...Sunday 6th October 2024 11:04 am
Something Oddly Familiar About This Nonsense
“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,
any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”
ex-wife said
she certainly SPELT it out!
he then went on to reCOUNT
“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”
and there was something oddly familiar about it all
when ex-husband and ...
Saturday 5th October 2024 7:33 am
Lists
there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…
1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam
2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)
3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...
Friday 4th October 2024 7:18 am
The Bug Chronicles - A Field Guide To Creepy Crawlies
the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner
the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons
the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...
Thursday 3rd October 2024 6:56 am
The Ravenous Witch
the ravenous witch
famished with greed
tummied and toothed
in scoops could she eat
pickles and pockles
and piggy trough trays
gorging, gullooging
and munching for days
she went picking parcels
and morsels of stuff
jiggleberries, hockleberries
but never enough
apples and hopples
pebbles and pears
the horribliest fruit
even one covered in h...
Wednesday 2nd October 2024 7:02 am
I Walked Through A Tunnel
I walked through a tunnel
like a finger rubbing around
the inside of a wine glass
round and round
fround bround vround tround
round and round
through the tunnel as a funnel
speeding up
kround zround jround pround
I walked through a tunnel
down to the darkness
down and down
bown hown rown zown
down and down
round and round
dark and stark
I walked thro...
Tuesday 1st October 2024 7:12 am
Gulp! What Did You Swallow?
gulp!
ahurr ahurr ahurr
“I swallowed a cricketer”
he shouted with a cough
but, we asked, in a joking scoff
“do you not mean a cricket?”
then to our amazement
and in the very next minute
he regurgitated a bat!
which promptly flew back to its cave
and that, it seems, was that
Monday 30th September 2024 7:10 am
At At
there is a place at at at
it is by by by
which is near near near
not too far from from from
you can get there via via via
and to be honest it is nice to stay at at at
it’s up to you really
but if you do stay at at at
you might visit visit visit
from there go to to to
then, if time, see see see
not so scenic as as as
reminded me of of of
but again it’s up...
Sunday 29th September 2024 7:16 am
A Dinner’s Reprise
trifle made with custard
garden gloves and mustard
dinner listen answer me
do you want a pie and cup of tea
bake the shed ‘til ten past three
then eat it with a stormy sea
dinner can you hear me
don’t cry go home early
trifle made with custard
garden gloves and mustard
Saturday 28th September 2024 7:18 am
The Parrot Cooked A Dinner
the parrot cooked a dinner
the dinner he cooked was a carrot
when the swan burst into song
and the thrush told him to hush
the starling asked for more food
more food he asked for starving
when the owl then sang out loud
and the crow told him to go
so a meal of interruption
ruined this fine carrot luncheon
then all was quiet, nothing heard
u...
Friday 27th September 2024 7:12 am
The Donkey Set The Table
the donkey set the table
but the table set was wonky
when the crane brought the game
and the mice brought the dice
the horses cooked the food
and the food they cooked in courses
the deer brought the beer
and the koala brought the cola
so an evening full of fun
promised fun for all the evening
then the tiger turned up later
but unfortunately...
Thursday 26th September 2024 7:29 am
The Jingly Jib
you know he’s a Jib
the way you can tell
he jingles and jingles
like a jingly bell
but sometimes their jingle
mysteriously goes
then Jibs cry all day
and why, nobody knows
being a Jib
can often be tough
expected to jingle
and jingle with love
then on the days
where love is not felt
Jibs lose their jingle
and Jibs will then wilt
so...
Wednesday 25th September 2024 7:23 am
The Hapless Toad
the hapless toad
who croaked a verse
and moved the trees around him
did sway the branches
sway the leaves
at the most profound of meaning
and too did cry
the birds above
at so beautiful a stanza
and soon to history
rose the toad
recited oft' thereafter
Tuesday 24th September 2024 7:42 am
oo's
noop
boo troon
frooing soon
noop
too woon
drooing hoon
noop
shoo shoo
oon
Monday 23rd September 2024 7:15 am
Uncle Ned, Fung And Poke
Dong was a song
that Fung the dog sung
Moke was a joke
that Poke the pig spoke
the Ked, a book that was read
is what Uncle Ned said
so Uncle Ned
his dog Fung
and his pig Poke
did Dong and did Moke
for the Ked that they wrote
Sunday 22nd September 2024 9:49 am
Hey Ho Does An Octopus Know
hey ho
does an octopus know
how to juggle with eight cups and saucers
and the fish watching him
while the elephants swim
then he juggles with a turtle and tortoise
then ho hey
does the octopus say
I can do this all day round in circles
but an ache in my arm
in my arm, in my arm
and so on through all eight tentacles
so hey ho
let the octopus go
...
Saturday 21st September 2024 9:29 am
Packedy-Pack I’m Packing
I went on holiday
so I thought I’d pack
I put in my head
I’d be needing that
I packed my arm
because where’s the harm
so too my toes
not forgetting my face
oh, my other arm too
went into the case
better take my legs and feet
they’re important indeed
I added my hips
and my ‘you know what’
well you never know
I might need it or not
...
Saturday 13th July 2024 10:14 am
The Gigglephant And Giraffalaugh
a gigglephant and giraffalaugh
in a junglement’s delight
did swing on a vine
most of the time
but today decided to fight
set to did they
but laugh did they
and tried with all their might
then merriness won over day
and they tickled until night
Saturday 6th July 2024 8:12 am
The Blatherwight
Hyyre n proave
pon sheed unjoad
in hoye ‘n hoyle-howls
befuddled word, o’blite absurd
he gurgled remott’d vowels
Lesp he ‘n shyy
for ryle deride
aggrinn aggurny byy
rillig speech, from creatured-eeb
flowed his otherworldly vibe
So jue a norn
to borrishly
this being spoke in tongue
but wopeth no apology
for such unbridled shrung
It siff ! ...
Thursday 27th June 2024 1:53 pm
Sightings
I saw an archbishop at Waterloo:
Looking for a sandwich
And spoiling for some action
With his usual cassock crew.
I suppose that this is what they do.
I once saw Lord Longford
Swapping yarns with a Tory,
But that, as they say,
Is another story.
Tuesday 3rd October 2023 7:53 am
Why Things Happen
The splash changed the course of the universe
as the fish startled in his round of the pond.
Why are you here? asked the fish.
I fell in, cried the rat, wearing water he donned.
Why did you fall in? again from the fish.
I just fell in, just fell in, that is all.
But why, you could have fallen several ways
but you fell in here so why into this pool?
I lost my balan...
Friday 1st January 2021 10:05 am
Ethereal Streaming
Your hand unfurled
Revealing stars
You'd captured while out dreaming
They drifted skyward:
Little wisps of hope
Reaching out like ethereal streaming
I breathed them in
As dawn brightened
The stirring sea
And downloaded all the wonders
Of what you and I
Could, one day, grow to be.
NB.
(Ethereal Streaming is not available via Netflix)
Thursday 1st October 2020 10:59 am
The Laughing Parrott
A laughing Parrott ate a carrot as
an Elephant climbed up a tree,
he was chased by a Mouse who wore a Pink blouse and liked to swim in the Sea,
A Lion passed by who flew his kite in the sky while singing to two dancing Llamas,
and a juggling Giraffe was taking a bath while wearing his woolly Pyjamas!
Thursday 4th June 2020 7:57 pm
A Monkey Wore Pink Lipstick
A Monkey wore pink lipstick
as he laughed and baked a cake
and was followed round the kitchen by a disco dancing snake,
they were joined by a Rhino who was wearing underpants, shuffling his bum and joining in the dance,
then there came a Chicken who was roaring like a bear as and a skateboarding Elephant with long curly hair.
Monday 18th May 2020 8:52 pm
That Gal Gladys
Tongue Twisting Twaddle
This one is for Don M. who bemoans the lack of serendipity on WOL and would like to see a bit more frippery.
That Gal Gladys
Could it be we take ourselves too seriously?
Maybe our pomp possy posing needs a little pricking, A little snacker snicking?
As Twiddly Thumb said to Twiddly Toe,
“That gal Gladys wuz really weird. Wherever did she go?”
“Ye...
Thursday 18th July 2019 4:05 pm
Nonsense
Nonsense by Nina Langias
On a sunny day,
I met an ant,
I told her to stay,
But she said that she can't
I asked her why?
She anwsered "because"
She made me cry
She started to applause
I went back home
To the east
Of Rome,
At last,
NINA AND THE BEAST.
Nonsense by Emma Lanier
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I ...
Sunday 1st April 2018 9:53 am
Deed done
The deed is done and guilt and fear come with it,
what am i hoping the effect will be?
I'm not sure to be completely honest..
it's a slight tad of happiness i get from it
but now i'm bitter and sad
Always something makes me immediately regret my actions
perhaps their is something i can prescribe myself to stop
Saturday 17th February 2018 7:54 pm
Hero
Everyone needs a
Hero
Everyone needs a
Villain
To grow, To overcome
Without them, we are
Stagnant
But not everyone becomes the
Hero
And not everyone becomes the
Villain
Wednesday 20th December 2017 7:10 am
There was a Young Man from Kyoto
There was a young man from Kyoto,
who was awfully fond of a photo,
when he saw a kimono,
his eyesight went mono,
and now a kimono’s a no-no.
Wednesday 3rd August 2016 4:37 am
Into The Wilderness
Into the Wilderness
Into the wilderness we went. Edhweirft and Hwyrflung swirled above us, blowing and bustling through the treetops. Watching. Threatening. But maintaining a safe distance as the trees protected us
Scrunch
Crack
Squelch
Scrunch
Crack
Squelch
... we went, as the gloam drew in. Druuuuuin!! Closer. Druuuuuuuuiiiiinnnn!!!!! Closer. It hugs, this gloa...
Sunday 27th March 2016 4:25 pm
Reflections of an Overfed Man
You were a regular toothpick
And I have my Bashment classes
We frolicked in the eye of a toad just for something to do on a Wednesday
I scraped together all my width
And ordered it correctly
Like a spiral in a jam jar it spurred me on to justice
Make an apoplexy for your measly complexion
I lost it in a card game in the jaws of the abo-po-po
And in the heat of a ...
Friday 30th November 2012 1:11 pm
Fly Has Sat On The Sweetest Jam (nonsense comp)
There is no order here,
There is no any sense.
Can you make it clear?
Can you change a pence?
On a tin there sat a cat
It looked exactly like a rat
Poor little biggie rat
It has swallowed a cat.
Little cow wore a wig
And the ground it could dig,
Like a purple brown pig
Sat on thin and thickest twig.
In the farm and in the z...
Tuesday 20th March 2012 7:54 pm
In A January Morning (nonsense comp)
In a January morning,
On a sunny April day,
A crocodile croaks as it is May.
On the pavement bricks out of board,
There walks the tallest little lord.
In a hospital is healthy.
Poor man is so wealthy.
Fed to teeth I want to eat
And a cheat is so sweet.
Come my dears! Come to me!
I don’t want to see you.
Any false you say is true,
In the yar...
Monday 19th March 2012 11:52 am
Smart Little Johnny (competition)
It’s a real story that happened in one school
when a teacher appeared to be a complete fool.
Once when a teacher of math was sick
a teacher of physical education came, named Nick.
He wanted to show how intelligent he is,
so he said: Solve my problem please!
The car moves at a high speed.
To go to Spain a plane we need.
How old am I if the plane now is high...
Sunday 11th March 2012 10:54 am
Broken Crystals
Crystals cover the ground
They sky is covered in clouds
They say that white is the color of absence
Just like the caterpillars in the spring,
eating all the pretty leaves,
you in a swift second
blow in
stealing all the color from the sky.
Gorging yourself...
Sunday 19th February 2012 8:42 pm
lap of luxury
An endless supply of Mojitos
A wind-up radio
A wall to kick a ball against
Or a children’s pillow
A bar of soap, some sun cream,
Strings and strings of pearls
A virtual sherry trifle
Or a wide-eyed blow up girl.
Lifetime’s supply of champagne
A cup of jasmine tea
A pencil and some paper
A crate of scotch whiskey
The V&A Museum
A karaoke machin...
Saturday 25th June 2011 5:12 pm
Recent Comments
TobaniNataiella on Angels Watching Over You
57 minutes ago
TobaniNataiella on Imaginary Friends (Voices in My Head)
58 minutes ago
Stephen Atkinson on Beyond Sunderland
3 hours ago
Stephen Atkinson on Oh, Brother
3 hours ago
Tom Doolan on Scream Scream It's Halloween
4 hours ago
Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on £22bn
6 hours ago
Auracle on Scream Scream It's Halloween
6 hours ago
Auracle on What Is On Your Mind?
6 hours ago
Auracle on Miracle of Life
6 hours ago
Stephen Gospage on Westonbirt
8 hours ago