We shout quietly into mother's failing ear,

conscious of the others in the ward,

though their faces suggest they are absent.

She is sure that the thing which takes her temperature

is making her hearing worse.

Frail ladies clutch flimsy nighties

to skeletal bones,

while horsey voiced visitors

boom into unhearing ears.

A huge man in a greatcoat

strokes his lush, black beard

and...

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I Saw The Moon At Lunchtime

she was looking pale and wan.

The sun was glowing cheeked

behind lace curtains.

Regular hours are essential to health

You never see a nocturnal solar excursion.

He is a sensible chap of regular habit.

That lunar lady though!

Always sickly,

she wastes.

I have seen her reclining.

So thin,

as if she might disappear.

Next thing you know,

she is all bl...

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I saw you

wandering along a country road,

looking content and serene.

With your magnificent,

permed white hair and

more magnificent balls.

You were a vision of

relaxed power.

You peered into each farm gate

as you passed.

Maybe you were looking for some cows

whose acquaintance you might like to make.

The great ring in your nose

by which your mighty strength

had been controlled,

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Portia knows that life is a pain.

Just having been out shopping again.

It is a nasty continuous round, of

Doing boring things in the kitchen.

Peter comes home from his tedious job.

He cannot help thinking that Portia's a slob.

She's scruffy and tired and, all of the time,

Doing boring things in the kitchen.

Portia peels spuds during GMTV,

While the window cleaner se...

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Harriet Harman, Minister for constitutional Affairs (no I haven't a clue what that is), says that paying for sex should be made illegal. If she thinks that would stop prostitution, or make women safer, she is mad.

Bobbing and Peering

The street is lined with pretty girls,

in micro skirts and cheeky curls.

They look at every passing car.

Bobbing and peering.

Behind them lurk their pimpi...

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The blackened stumps

of sad neglect

stare out from cracked

and shrunken lips.

A hoarse request

for change, is inaudible

above the noise

of the traffic.

The sad smile

and extended hand

tell of her need.

Watery eyes match

the spot of spittle

hanging in the corner

of a mouth,

slack and weak.

Alone among

a million people.

Hungry 'mid

the rotting food.

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JESUS! What is this all about?

Just cost and family rows.

Useless presents, tasteless tat,

shops so full of crowds.

A decorated pine tree

and a fat, old man in red.

A dry and tasteless turkey,

and crawling, drunk to bed.

The stable was for donkeys.

That's how it should have stayed.

Three wierdos with their trinkets

were best sent on their way.

For some it's saturnalia.

It's s...

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Our beloved queen St Nicolas

was born today

at the North Pole at 3pm.

She was born to a reindeer

with a serious alcohol habit.

While Randolph nipped off

to get more booze,

some escaped polar bears

from Neverland Zoo

came and took care of her.

Then a great star appeared,

showing the way to the polar bears.

They were the purest, perfectly

white as he was.

He wanted them back

...

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So this is the New Mexico.

What crap was the old one

to make this?

In Albuquerque from

Spider Spoon Restaurant

by fake antique bus

to Old Town.

Well, well!

There's another failed actor

shot dead

in the middle of the street.

Yesterdaves with an Elvis suit,

Yuk Mexican food

and crap Indian 'art'.

A soulless new, sprawling

concrete city with

a nice mountain outside.

Th...

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Agadir

As a child I remember

the terrible news.

Agadir destroyed.

Fifteen thousand dead

in fifteen seconds.

An earthquake

tore the town apart

and consumed it.

Forty six years later

I visit on holiday.

There is nothing

to talk about

other than the earthquake,

the heat, and sardines.

Fat, pink travellers

hustled in a smelly souk.

Fifteen thousand ghosts

mingle in the be...

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There was a girl form Camden Town

came down to Leicester Square.

She set herself a target to

find her fortune there.

A sleazy chap moved up to her

and this is what he said.

"A girl like you could do real well

down here in the West End."

The girl replied "you slimy creep

I did not come for hire

I set myself to find a life

away from slum land mire."

"A very sound and worthy ch...

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The Ring Mistress

opened proceedings.

Puffing out her crimson chest

and with a sweep

of her turquoise tail,

she let out a shrill whistle.

The lion holding back

a small shame of primates

with a chair

was so skilful.

I couldn't believe it

when he put his paw

in the beast's mouth.

They are so well trained.

The troupe

of health and safety inspectors

were very entertaining.

Jum...

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In the beginning there was Adam.

He was a Smith.

Crafting with an invisible hand,

he carved out

the wealth of nations.

A horseshoe

never made a blacksmith.

Complexity creates

the illusion of design.

Simpler things

are made.

A market is unknowably complicated.

Nobody can manage it.

Humans have the idea of a market,

but markets make themselves.

Humans thought of the internet

bu...

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Some thoughts as the Bali conference stumbles to a conclusion.

Guilty

When they arrested me

I was pretty cocky.

They hadn't got anything on me.

I would be free in no time.

Demanding apologies

Selling my story

Sneering at the plods.

I was an innocent with

a blameless bourgeois life

a boring late life, life.

A quiet inoffensive life.

They couldn't know

that I drink

more...

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Not all important events are held in the USA. Poland excels in this particular field of endeavour.

The World Pipe Smoking Championships

The lady puffed.

While all around her coughed

and spluttered to extinction,

the lady puffed.

Poles apart,

the stained moustaches

and shrivelled lungs

sucked with the skill of decades,

and the lady puffed.

The lady puffed

patiently, per...

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Fast out of the traps,

Joey Chestnut led for America

with Takeru Kobayashi

thundering alongside for Japan.

Kobayashi, the six time winner

had been hot favourite

until Arthritic Jaw and

Wisdom Tooth Extraction

set him back.

'Jaws' Chestnut sprung

a pre-race surprise

by beating the dog munching

record with a dazzling 59.5.

With the also rans dropping back

the contenders matc...

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Dark, dismal, dreary days.

Short, sharply shivering days

Sleet slaked and sodden days.

Days sad with savage chill.

Days filled with feeling ill.

Days grey and brooding still.

Weak watered sunlight brief.

Grim trees bereft of leaf.

Lost to the daylight thief.

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Silhouettes glide slowly

under ice.

Golden slithers

in a silver haze.

Signs of life

amid frozen winter

wasteland.

Hints of pleasure

yet to come.

Now is a beauty

all its own.

Featureless,

pure and white.

Crisp blanket over

every part. Hiding

weed and plant and slab.

Crystal spikes

from gutter gleam.

Twinkling blue

and red and green.

Pale yolk

of winter sun,

g...

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And now for the long range forecast.

There will be

the coldest winter for years.

Gas will run out.

Electricity will be cut.

Roads will be snow bound.

Brass monkeys will be bereft.

This global warming is hard.

As you can see,

a new front is advancing across Egypt.

The waters will turn to blood,

except for Israelites of course.

Frogs gnats, flies, mosquitoes, lice and horsefli...

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Up in the morning

creaking and yawning

hungover and feeling

half dead.

I lurch down the stairs

full of worries and cares

and so fat I could

only lumber.

A quick cup of tea

then off for a pee,

but then stay

for a little bit extra

A good kilo lighter

So fit, and much brighter,

I bound from the bog

full of fun.

Wine is a pleasure

and food is still better,

but a jolly g...

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Darwinian evolution

is a truly wonderful thing.

Transforming a prison officer

from grafting to ex-pat bling.

By long canoe to from Seaton Carew

straight along Panama Canal.

A five year trip to paradise

with a healthy and glowing tan.

The missing man, a long time dead,

is on his way back to the nick.

The lovely wife with a brand new life

seems now to have missed a trick.

Insu...

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I would rather not be a Dick

I would have preferred to be Rich.

but Dick it is.

Dick it always has been.

It might not have been so bad

being Dick,

if only I had been

well - larger.

Kids don't do irony

do they?

No - calling me Donkey Dick

wasn't irony,

it was fucking murder.

I died.

My dick died.

It started out small

and got smaller.

Every time I heard it

I lost another mill...

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In a green and tranquil valley,

peaceful dale, at Vale of York.

Was a wand'ring woolly graveyard,

where we went to take a walk.

Nestled in the sloping green field,

stood a house of mellow stone.

Beneath its solid slate umbrella,

lived a farming clan at home,

Fortress walls around their farmland.

Valley sides held off the world.

Tended fields sit by the farmhouse,

patch work...

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Bearing Mohammed, the kufr ape

spreads sedition in school.

Seducing children

from the way of the righteous.

Toying with the offspring of the faithful.

Tempting their small minds from the true path.

Surely this is wickedness.

Bear faced lies confuse the youth

about our glorious dictatorship.

The name of the prophet bears down

on the flayed backs of the ladies

before our sweet sha...

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How I love you, sweaty armpit,

Every day at half past eight.

All summer long, I race to join you.

Bakerloo to Charing Cross.

Jostled tight in fraught containment.

Strap hung grace, courts nose pressed flat.

For you are tall and fair and fragrant,

But I am short and bald and fat.

Our carriage lurches.

You are twirling.

Hirsute lip, sweeps

pearl dropped breast.

Will you love m...

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Existing only as a line

on a memorial,

I know only he is gone,

not how he lived.

A body lost

in endless trenches,

filled with wasted youth.

His nation needed HIM

to be torn

from his family

to a far off war and

a forgotten death.

His blood mingling

with those

murdered at dawn

by their own side,

in front of the

same trenches.

Too frail to fight,

Baker was a butler.

Ser...

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At uni they were marching

behind banners red and proud.

They proclaimed the fight for freedom

and they puffed the weed in clouds.

They went on by degrees

to lead the government.

The chance to bring in liberty

that with banners they proclaimed.

Now, heading up their Ministries,

the student rebels have

the power in their grasp at last,

the legislators hand.

So now they show th...

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Gordon, Gordon turning right.

Now to Harmanise your plight

To Abraham, from God was given

cash aplenty, no discretion.

On the Rock they queued and cued

You stumbled while more debt accrued.

Two slipped discs laid you more low.

A few Watts more and you will go.

Gordon, Gordon's fading might.

Sleepless times again tonight.

Mendelssohn composed a letter.

Made things worse instead o...

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Paradise

This is a great democracy.

A beacon for the world.

We lock you up for fourteen days,

without a charge or trial.

We treat you with suspicion,

because your skin is black.

And if you pray to Mecca,

We will send your preacher back.

You chose our earthly paradise,

Above your Umma's poor.

You love the bling,

And everything,

the satan brings and more.

This is a great ...

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As the imperial bulldog,

gives way to the beasts

of Tien an Men

amid a firework fantasia,

a governor cries.

As a kilted piper

passes a goose

stepping liberationist

in the teeming rain,

an expat sighs.

As a foreign prince

slinks off

in a gilded yacht,

while army rumbles in.

Hope of freedom dies.

The handover by Britain of Hong Kong and the New Territories to the Peoples Re...

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A strong and angry black man

from a ghetto, rough and poor,

may have killed some people,

but nobody can be sure.

Shaky witness evidence

and racist LA cops,

got their desired sentence

and its politics that counts.

As Arnie weighed up carefully,

the votes in life and death,

redemption and a fight for peace

did not concern him much.

The rich and mighty governor

with ego twice as...

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I dreamed of being a surrealist

like my Dada, until I rejected him.

Now there is just existence

and the terror of what is.

Dog the civiliser is gone.

Now the dreadful freedom brings

the nausea of existence,

nausea at the absurdity

of the arbitrary.

The lugubrious paranoiac,

le viol, avida Gala,

devoured by dollars.

Sexual instinct, savouring

the sentiment of death,

Deception...

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Vile parasites.

Your golden,oily skins

oozing with excess.

Drunk in your dry kingdom.

Saud lechers mawling

voiceless, voteless beauties

who may not drive

or leave their homes

without the right man.

This land you stole

in the name of Wahhab

bleeds daily.

The blood of lopped limbs,

mingles with the blood

of heads rolling beneath

the sword.

The only voice to be heard

is the s...

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Skill ivy to the brolig heure

Cur forstang tho it clive

Fung custove for sing crulling sime

Cud prustick villing nive

Fud custagavidge sorkily

Fud favit barramore

Yet fortasonich tithily

Cum carad konik dore

Far fortu later farid us

Cut fitti fitti cude

Faranupted tully fules

Tarrabered in the lude

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Black hearted blackguard,

the Smith

wrought only misery

when he stole a nation.

Not in our lifetime will

the damage be repaired.

Not in a thousand years,

will the crime be forgotten.

What he took without sanction

from the onlooking world

was a colonial mansion

built with the blood soaked sweat

of a million subjugated toilers.

What he created was the venom

of the abused mass

tha...

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Thomas had a mouse for breakfast.

Not all of one,

just half the face.

The guts he dragged across the kitchen.

Other bits in every place.

"The cat flea

is the biggest biting nuisance

in the western world."

Tell that to the mouse.

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On the holy field of battle,

the contenders take their place.

A second ties on gloves.

There is hatred in their face.

The bell is rung, and in they go,

to but and grope and gore.

In several shameful minutes,

they wage their sordid war.

For millions of dollars,

adoration and the fame,

these mounds of throbbing muscle

pound brains to win their 'game'.

Then in mighty final clim...

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The very first time that I did it

wasn't warm, or safe, or at home.

It was furtive, and risky, and freezing.

I cringe at the thought every time.

The very first time that I saw it,

I shuddered with horror and fear.

This was the end, I just knew it.

Pleasure was gone from me here.

The very first time that I had it,

I couldn't get over the thrill.

The best in my life by a long way.

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My observation on Liverpol European City of Culture 2008

The 'Pool

The pool is cool.

From the lively beat in the caverns

of liver challenging Mathew Street

to the rich heaps of scrap in the dock,

the pool is cool.

Slaves gave the graces to stand by the river,

The wave of Cunard and the Star turned to pearls.

A mighty, rich city so boastful in grandeur,

knew poverty when the...

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The Peabody Duck March

Since opening its doors on November 1, 1986, The Peabody Orlando has continued, in unbroken sequence, the traditional March of The Peabody Ducks which began at its sister property, The Peabody Memphis, many, many years ago.

Each morning, promptly at 11 a.m., the hotel's atrium lobby is the scene of a remarkable ritual. In a special elevator, the five North American mall...

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I'm glad I don't speak German

and salute the fuehrer's flag.

Free of Stalin's frozen gulags

Not in Trotsky's paradise.

That Bin Laden's worldwide caliphate,

with limbs and heads lopped off,

remains the madman's fantasy

is comfort beyond words.

The stumbling democracies

that rule the western states,

frustrate at their complacency

depress with decadence.

Should ayatollas wield...

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Joe Angel mounted Pegasus,

and off they winged their way.

They flew past

gimble's breakfast time

to where the muleys play.

Carl Crocophant loved Ellie.

An eledile of grace.

So Carl and Ellie travelled off

to plight their troth in space.

Jo Angel met them wandering

in starry, starry sky.

He married them,

right there and then

and bid them fair goodbye.

They honeymooned

in G...

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Anonymously born

in sterile rooms.

Delivered by masked faces.

Despatched to homes,

the new born

has every need met.

Fed, watered, comforted,

baby sat and tended.

Nannied and protected.

Welfare throughout life.

No risk

of independence.

No chance

of going out

in glory.

No battle,

plague

or wild excess.

Just tepid caring.

Free of passion.

Then mild death

ends this frail

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Tabatha Bagginshaw jumped in the cab

of her new inter-stellar green prune.

She nipped out to Jupiter, just before tea,

with a sharp left turn at the moon.

We whipped round the galaxy roaring with glee,

with a sharp left turn at the moon.

Tabath Bagginshaw played with the groak

who lives in the Jovian dune.

They spent the night out, watching clarvicles dance

round the sharp left turn ...

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Who killed Hen Harrier?

"Not me" said Ginger Nut,

patting his faithful mutt.

Who killed Hen Harrier?

"Not me" said Carrot Top,

"the harrier's a topping job."

Who killed Hen Harrier?

"Not me" said Sloaney Mate

on Sandringham fine estate.

Who killed Hen Harrier?

"I" said the badger.

"I killed Hen Harrier with my bovine TB."

Who killed Hen Harrier?

"I'll cull the foul kille...

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Shadows lengthen in the still warm eve.

Honeysuckle scent perfumes the air.

No sound disturbs the peace or breeze intrudes.

With rapid change from corps to pas de deux,

The swallows leave and bats command the stage.

In silouhette, they dance with dainty poise,

Each perfect move reflected in the pool.

Frail damsel fly and sleek, slow moving carp,

Complete the ballet played for our d...

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Rolling black couds,

rolling back calm.

Screaming wind.

Breaking wind

howls in the cellar.

Waves in the carpet.

Creaking root

and thrashing branch.

Lively oak

to splintered fuel.

Letterbox rattles.

No post appears.

Posts fence the wind,

over the garden wall.

Rain lashed window.

A million rainbows

on the world.

Incessant drumming

on the roof.

Deadly patters

on t...

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Mares grazed in quiet contentment,

Their foals were close beside.

They suckled and they frolicked,

While the mothers watched with pride.

This scene of peace and beauty,

Was shattered with a din.

When horse box clattered to the site,

And passion galloped in.

A mighty beast stood proud and tall,

His male pride proclaimed.

A whinny rent the tranquil air.

Head throw...

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Froggy did a wooing go.

Bonking frogette, nice and slow.

Soon the pond was full of spawn.

A million tadpoles then were born.

The fish looked on, all goggle eyed.

A feast was all that they espied.

They chased the tiny taddy shoals

and swallowed their black wriggly goals.

Fat, sleek and broadly smiling fish

rejoice in their amphibidish.

But poor old froggy and frogette

see their b...

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The choreography

was immaculate.

Every inch of the

small stage was used.

Her costume too

was stunning.

Meticulously

she arranged it

to ensure

that it showed

her movement off

to its best

during the performance.

It was a full house

and she knew

that some of the audience

would be there specially

because it was her.

Kora had a following

and she took pleasure

in the passi...

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The limping soul

who begged a lift

in Jasper town that day,

had no grand philosophy,

cared only to go home.

Three drunken louts

who stopped their truck

were grander though, by far.

Strongmen of the aryan race

they must earn their tribal scar.

As Toe climbed in the pickup,

he was trusting, free of hate.

Grateful to the three kind men

who stopped for him that day.

To show wh...

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'Happy to help you' Rodney

was waiting at the door.

I tried to sneak right past him,

but he caught me

in a beaming, helpful gaze

and forced me to say

good morning.

Having selected a very shiny red vegetable,

an exotic, creamy yellow one

with nobbly bits,

and an irresistable 'Whoops!'

saving forty pence

from a ready meal

that I must eat by tea time.

I thought I had better leav...

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The funerary temple of Hatshepsut, on the opposite bank of the Nile from Luxor which is the modern replacement of the ancient city of Thebes, was the site of a horrible massacre of tourists by Islamic militants just a few months after I had been there. It made me reflect on the religions that had been born in the middle east for thousands of years.

It is actually inaccurate to describe her as a...

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I hate religious hatred

And I hate religion too.

I hate your legislators

For the stupid things they do.

Just listen Tony Blair now

To what I have to say.

Smash the freedoms that we love

And you will have to pay.

The art that mocks our rulers

And the right to damn false gods.

Is the heart of our democracy

The anchor of our lives.

What serves to civilise us

Is our fearless se...

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The elderly trout on her bicycle,

Reflects on many things.

How fish require companionship,

And pedals aren't made for fins.

The ancient walrus ruminates,

On poetry and the like.

Of the infinite beauty of hairiness,

As he rides the village bike.

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A short history of a house I used to live in:

In Queen Victoria's golden reign

a local merchant, proud and vain,

committing finance to the hilt

commanded a new house be built.

Sturdy, strong and rugged stone,

on ample land it stood alone.

To crown this glory on the hill,

he bounded it with walls until,

at front of house, dull stone was out,

cast railings stood, tall firm and stout.

S...

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Paperback novel studied close.

Brassy makeup and studded nose.

Plastic leather clutching spindly legs.

Tiny fag full of tarry dregs.

Purple bust in a tight tee shirt.

Shuffling feet in pigeon dirt.

Long, thin mongrel on a scruffy string.

Stomachs growling while saviours sing.

Hare hare

lentil lentil

Hare Krishna

super soup run.

Krishna Krishna

hare lentil

hare hare

better fe...

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Oh I wish I could pee like I used to.

Not standing for ages like this.

There's more in my life that I would do,

Than wait here all day for a piss.

The fountains of youth have now faded.

Strong jets have dropped to a drip.

Now my prostate has strangled my willie,

It really does get on my pip.

Sound sleep is a fond distant place now.

Along with a night on the beer.

A small shandy an ...

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Lip smackity,

teeth clackity,

tongue tinglity,

throat gulpity,

heaven.

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Weather Pig sways lazily,

peering from the roof.

He stares at windy Wales

with teardrops in his eyes.

Of course he faces windward

as he does throughout the year,

but now his task is tearful.

Piggy Belle is dead.

Guard Pig lies at duty

by the front door, as he must.

His task to pee on Mormons,

bite balls off burglar thugs.

He is is lax about his duties,

though always at his ...

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New born homo sheepiens,

Has let the farmers see,

That breeding stock has now become,

A cash rich pharmacy.

As Daisy cow chews on her grass,

She thinks of what this means.

Although life has been changing fast,

She hasn't changed her genes.

The product sounds attractive,

To those who have this dream.

A magic cure for humans,

Whose genetics have gone wrong.

Well...

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They've got TB in the middle east

which they never had before.

They were very sick before it

came, but this could be terminal.

The TB is predicted to

bring peace where there was none.

Yes, peace is perfect peace

where all is dead and done.

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Long, sleepless hours open this Friday.

Not just Good, but maybe the best.

No word passes

as they cross in the corridor,

yet their deal could end

the bitter bequest of the years.

'No surrender' is screamed

by the bloody Red Hand,

rattling the gate of the castle.

'Death to the Brits'

mutters the hideous black hood,

killing in a dark back street.

The Maze of problems

is delicate...

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Purr

Pout

Preach

Pant

Puff

Praise

Pledge

Passion

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Raking through containers for that

special recipe, I unearthed

these dusty condiments

and shook them off anew.

There was a skinny jar, all sparkly,

full of twisted, withered sticks.

It was once a posh exotic,

but now crumbles in the light.

A baby tub of yellow stuff

had lost the label, so

I've idea what it might do

or how its use would go.

The scary dark and spiky bits

and...

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Reflections on the likely classification of love as a medical disorder at some time.

My goodness, dear patient

you're terribly sick.

Your dreaming and doting

are clear proof of it.

Your moods and distraction

show cause for alarm.

This mooning about

Is a strong sign of harm.

You must have some treatment.

I know a good drug.

It's an ancient hop ferment

that works like a charm.

...

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I know when pigs had chitterlings,

and brawn and all that tripe.

There were no lambs, but mutton

was a breast of common type.

The table of scrubbed pine, had

grooves, deep ridged and strong.

I liked to watch the pigeons,

but the septic tank did pong.

The milkman and the baker,

all called to chat to mum.

She sent me out to play then.

I wished they wouldn't come.

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There's no post today,

the postman's gone away.

It is a disaster!

What will we do?

We cannot communicate with anybody.

I have phoned all my relatives

to warn them. I texted

the ones who did not reply.

I have e-mailed everybody in my address book

to let them know that I can't

communicate with them.

I have put out a message on all of my blogs

and put a bulletin out to my frien...

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There's a new pub in town,

'The Liquidly Challenged'.

I've just been down,

To see it tonight.

Although it's quite new,

It wasn't too busy.

The human resources

Were standing about.

Then all of a sudden

The guard bitch was barking

Towards the commotion

Bar persons looked round.

I glanced to the sinistre,

It was so dextrous.

Desperate to see,

The site of the sound.

T...

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Nanny State is a wonderful lady

Loving and gentle and kind

She makes the wayward fit in with the masses

With drugs that alter their mind.

That her love is killing the baby

Leaves her totally blind.

Afghans and Arabs with tyrant oppressors

She saves by having them mined.

Nanny robs folk with all of her taxes

To pay for her to be kind.

The work shy she cossets with cash and ...

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Crisp, green organic vegetable

will furnish you with minerals

and crunchy orange carotene

keeps heart attacks at bay.

I love to watch you eat them

with those pearly teeth so perfect,

as I dribble with my fatty pork

and chew the greasy lamb.

Clean air is so essential as

you pump those lungs with exercise

and banish foul cholesterol

from clogging your fresh veins.

Now pass my ...

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You silly old bat

with your tea cosy hat,

and your dirty old giggle.

I love you.

No, I don't think the bombs

caused those earthquakes and storms,

but don't worry mum, 'cos

I love you.

Was it really a wink?

Not a twitch or a blink?

Did that man make a pass? And

he loves you?

Have you food in the house?

Yes, I know there's a mouse.

Will you eat something now? If

I love you.

...

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Stepping out to crisp, dry air,

Sterile and scentless, it grabs my breath.

Hoar frost hanging from each leaf and corner,

Strokes my face and chills my soul.

The langour of sleep is wiped away.

Ghosts of night time fold in silvered flakes.

Envigoured, I go vigorous to work.

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Monica Jean, Monica Jean.

My hero, my love, my goddess and queen.

You gripped all the eyes to you, dropped every jaw,

As you eased through the crowd and sailed on the floor.

I led and you followed, we cut a fine swathe.

Your sashay is perfect. In limelight we bathe.

The dance floor is clearing, they drop back in awe.

You courtsey in sequins. The crowd shout for more.

Monica Jean, Mo...

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Drifting deep in space

in creaking crate,

space pioneers reflect

upon their fate.

Lurching in the black

and freezing void.

Most power gone

and solar cells destroyed.

Life giving air hissed out

through buckled hatch.

The cosmonauts cut,

hammer, wrench and patch.

Life hangs on and Mir

survives the day

A relic of rejected

soviet way.

Frail colonists await

return to earth,

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Grinding cattle into dollars,

you are clinical Mechanicy.

Until challenged by the rumblings,

of a juvenile McAnarchy.

Ten million bucks you squandered,

on gumshoes, wigs and corpo-speak.

To try and crush the rantings,

of a tiny, voiceless eco-freak.

For god's sake mad McCapital,

why are you so irrational?

When tasteless mush

makes millions from McMugs.

Be satisfied,...

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Bouncing through thin atmosphere

on independence day.

A tiny human probe is steered

from million miles away.

A rover rolls on rosy world.

Finding a path through Ares Vallis.

Solar petals of craft unfurled.

To power a Martian palace.

Romping through this alien vale,

the robot's stay is brief.

Rocks it finds will tell a tale

of aeons past, in close relief.

That flood plain of a ...

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Differ little from their kin.

Nice vocal chords, opposing thumbs,

And much less hairy skin.

Deep, deep inside though, little shows,

That chimp is far from chap.

Their genes show common ancestry

With little species gap.

In the beginning was the word,

Of that there's little doubt.

The human creature left the chimp,

When first ...

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Bathed in light by the sun room window,

we peck lightly at fork speared treats,

and gaze on the green lawn.

Scruffy starling babe, struts

a hungry hassle to its fervent mum.

In silent swoop the kestrel sets his aim.

Fierce beauty stares, and talons fork the game.

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I was born with all my bits intact.

An ugly little brat.

My mother, with a look at me,

said. "What the luck is that?"

The kids at school were beastly.

They nicked my satchel once.

It contained my worm collection

so what the luck was that?

I forgot to think in lessons

and flunked all the exams.

I couldn't go to uni.

Well! what the luck was that?

When it came to chatting women

...

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The tears were for the whale, but the thoughts were for all those with mental health problems on the streets of London.

I cried because the whale died,

Stranded, lost and helpless.

The open sea should be his home,

but he had come to London.

I cried because the whale died,

a mighty beast, and graceful.

In proper place with peace of mind,

he conquered all about him.

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Blundering blearily

into the kitchen.

Boiling briefly,

my start to the day.

My thoughts wandered quick

away from the chicken

to places intriguing

and far away.

The world laid out

on the breakfast table

showed an island,

yellow and flat.

The urban yoke could

be dumped if I'm able,

for a solitary world

with just me and the cat.

I recall the people

of Eigg bought their ...

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Breathing, fucking, eating,sleeping.

Working hard to earn a crust.

Sleeping, brathing, fucking , eating.

Breeding kids, as you must.

Eating, sleeping, breathing, fucking.

Holidaying 'til you bust.

Fucking, eating, sleeping, breathing.

Waiting to return to dust.

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Puckering, pouting, pink and pursing,

opened wide and loudly cursing.

Shining, wet look, glossy smile

slicked by tongue with sexy guile.

Soft and gentle mumbling movements

tell of love in sweetest style.

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The lawn is full of lions.

They are real dandy lions.

With long golden manes.

And they're waving.

I kick them all down.

While I growl and I frown.

Or they just turn to clocks,

And start breeding.

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What a gorgeous, smoochy kiss.

Tangled tongues that move like this.

Lick and lap and slurp so swell,

in sweet warm mouths of fragrant smell.

True passion's osculation comes,

from licking pink and tingly gums.

Slipping lips and tapping teeth

tell of love that lies beneath.

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Small brown dog in a shopping bag.

Rent boy talking to a toothless hag.

Beggar with a bottle, puffing on a fag.

At Kings Cross station.

Transport copper in an orange jacket.

Fifteen backpackers making a racket.

First class ticket that cost a packet.

At Kings Cross station.

Paperback novel, studied close.

Brassy make up, and studded nose.

Shivering bodies in draughty rows.

At Kings...

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Abdullah cut down by Palestine lead.

A button saves the prince from death.

The crown rests soon on Husseins head.

His father's mind departed.

The tiny lion on Judah's throne

keeps Hashemite helm secure.

Lovely wives in series,

bring grace and heirs to come.

In six dread days, the kingdom

rent in half at David's hand.

As grand pan-arab folly

is crushed into the sand.

Septembe...

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The woman

in teenage goth

was not wearing

her forties well.

Her hard black hair

complemented

the harsh makeup.

Alleging food down her cleavage,

she leant forward

to demand his gaze.

Her loud and ceaseless talking,

interrupted only by

finger sucking,

mock fellatio.

The much younger man

with Elizabethan beard

makes only an

occasional grunt.

Their frequent disappearance...

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Huddled tight in filthy doorway,

Urine stench fills ev'ry breath.

Just another idle dosser.

It's no big issue.

Teenage junkie lacking passion,

Sells her body for a fix.

Little slut in sordid consort.

It's no big issue.

Toothless hag with matted ringlets,

Pulls on reeking clothing rags.

Hunger pangs are deep inside her.

It's no big issue.

Striving to sec...

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Recollections of the attempt by Mark Oaten to become leader of the Liberal Democrat Party.

Oaten flakes

Hopes rent.

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Saddam victor of Dujail.

Why do you have finger nails

as you hold your precious pen?

Surely any competent interrogator

would have removed those.

Saddam, hero of Halabja

how is it that you have a tongue

to berate your chief judge?

Standard practice should be

to cut that out.

Saddam, conqueror of Kuwait,

it is dreadful that you

had to walk upstairs.

Which lift would you have prefe...

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"Hermione dear

come here,

come hear.

Now listen

to what I say."

"Your father and I

have a wonderful plan

with a part

for you to play."

"We are going to knit

a voluminous craft

to travel in,

far away."

"Daddy will steer

and pedal it too,

but you will

show him the way."

"We will journey

at night,

by the light

of the stars,

and relax

in sun beams

by day."

"I w...

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I got such

savage licks with Styx

from an unpaid ferryman.

I just asked the horsemen

where I should stand

to see the apocalypse

of the sun.

It seemed to eclipse them.

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The Hale-Bopp comet came in 1997 and 39 members of the Heaven's Gate sect took their own lives in the apparent belief that they would pass on to another astral plane.

Pharoah feared the portent showing,

Brightly in the evening sky.

Though the priests were wise and knowing.

None could tell if they would die.

Comet passed and was forgotten.

Egypt turned its face to sun.

Fo...

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They say that you're a tree rat

And a nasty Yank at that.

They say that you eat baby birds

They said it as they spat.

They say you chased out us nice reds.

And ruined all the flower beds.

They say you kill the greenwood sward.

They say your presence dreads.

They say you should be shot on sight,

And that you haven't any right.

They say you're better in a stew.

They said you'll lo...

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Reflections on becoming a great grand father.

Already farther

than I expected,

becoming grand

was overwhelming.

As my grandness

increased in volume

and grew,

I swelled too.

Now that I am

about to be made great

the splendour

of my title

is overshadowed

by the weight of age

coming with it.

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The moving finger writes and having writ:

"Sherry Langham is a bitch."

Full feasted with a thumping head

Belshazzar regarded the wall with fear.

He summoned the sages of the nation

Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Peter.

"No! Truly sire, this is not bunny.

We cannot read a word."

"Come Daniel. You tell me.

What does it mean?"

"Let me see!

Mene, mene, tekel and parsin

Belsha...

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Impiricide and regicide,

when they have set the mass aside,

is ethical and nothing to deride.

But patricide and matricide,

where relatives in blood collide,

destroy the human family inside.

Fratricide, sororicide,

comprehensive siblicide,

complete domestic homicide,

and kinship's cast aside.

Bereft of adult kith beside,

the way is clear for foeticide.

but faili...

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Gargling, gurgling, googling glee.

I love you madly.

You love me.

Brushing, scrubbing and cleaning each day,

you know I adore you.

You sweep me away.

Sweet breath of the heavens,

bright teeth so divine.

I am your true love

and you will be mine.

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