Yes I remember Uncle Ned, a short man stout and round.

Born and bred in Lancashire, where men like him are found.

Though manner bluff and hearty, and accent slow and thick,

His tack sharp mind was canny too, he didn’t miss a trick.

He owned a shop down Ashton way. His main job was to stock it

If any pennies  were found short, they weren`t from Ned`s own pocket!

Out on the road delivering stuff, he oft was heard to say

“Thad best look sharp, ah  can`t abide folks as get in mi way!

Iyway  code? Codswallop that! ah never minds them rules

Them as bides gets no wheer fast. They`re nought but bloody fools!

Av bin a driver forty year wiout a single crump

This owd vans as good as new it`s never ad a bump!

Ah don’t bother wi mirrors at side, they`re no use them t me

Ah  keeps mi eyes on road up front wheer eyes are meant fot be.

 Ah just pulls out an goes tha see. Ah don’t care wheer nor when

Them buggers at the back o me mun all fend for thensen!”

Thus spake owd Ned a gradely chap, to other drivers blind

God knows the mayhem that he wrought unwittingly behind.

Into  family  folk lore now immortalized by pen

His famous words still make us laugh… tha mun fend for thensen!!