I almost killed myself tonight,

I ran out of reasons to live and reasons to fight.

Each day is a battle just to survive,

How is it that I am expected to thrive?

The loneliness in this house is overbearing,

I feel like a fool for even caring.

All I need is to be loved and feel wanted,

But my reality is the opposite while my brain is haunted.

Nothing I say or do wil...

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If your mind becomes imprisoned,
And the whole world now seems strange,
And the things you once enjoyed
Now no longer make a change.

If your life now has no reason,
And you just exist from day to day,
Just drifting between each moment,
And it doesn't help what others say.

No matter where you may be -
Whether in the country or the city,
All your interests may have dissolved,
And you ...

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Everything goes south,

Pours like rain to no avail,

Waiting for the sun

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My lover lives inside of long exposures
She breathes inside of my flashlight 
The shutter gazes wide eyed into darkness
I write her notes with this wavering beam
Capture my fast fading dreams by sunrise 

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Dreams of uncertainty

Light up the unsuspecting mind

Floating through the abyss

Needing to be fed by the void inside.

Forming a strange pattern

The illusion once affixed

Veers through the twisted labyrinth

Setting a stage for the hopeful to fall all over.

The heat felt is roused

By this fleeting moment

Mistaking it to be existent

Till it plunges us into a...

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This is the way the world ends,

This is the way the world ends,

This is the way the world ends,

Not with a bang, but a #hashtag.

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Dark and bleak and empty and bare
This life is hard.. I hate it here.
Voided, eroded, saddened... barren of joy
Helpless, hopeless, soulless... a plain white wall
Mopey, lonely, gloomy...why even try
Hungerless, Sleepless, motionless...I might just die
Drowning, not breathing, cant gasp for air
Quiet pain, drenched in rain, not one care
Deserted, isolated, distressed and bored
want to, ...

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In our hearts, there is a bud of hope,
But around it, the devil ties a rope,
And whispers with utter certainty,
That our failure is a guarantee,
But how can we shut the voices out?
Hope withers and fear starts to sprout,
And if we do not take control ,
In time, fright will take over our soul,
Let us cut the rope with scissors of grit,
water the plant with love on every bit,
Drench it wit...

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In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.

No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.

Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.

Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.

'Try to stay po...

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I can't take it,

I'm only asking,

Please Lord help me,

I'm tired of relapsing,

Over and over,

My veins are collapsing,

I know you hear me,

I'm sorry for babbling,

I don't understand,

Why this keeps happening,

I'm covering the pain,

It's so everlasting,

The hurt burns deep,

It never stops dragging,

Life is a slow death,

It's truly a sad thing,

My hand...

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Retreat?
Really?
After all I fought for?
All these years for nothing.
I see capitulation in their eyes.
The ones who called themselves
Rebels and activists.
Is that me anymore,
Fighting against a whole world,
Stopped by their own panic?
I see my place not here,
Maybe somewhere in space,
Somewhere on another planet
Where "humans" are no sheep
And individuality is normal.
Excluding no...

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Is it a Curse .. or God's Grace 
To live alone heart and place 
Suffering what I always face 
Hopeless to be myself again 
 

Are these changes good for me 
To be lonely always or not to be 
To live away of what I see 
I lost my hope and brain 
 

Sadly to wake up and sleep 
Painful to feel yourself cheap 
Living alone hurts in deep 
I wish to know why, but i...

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Make it easy. Do it simple.

Just pray for God, to bless.

Love colleagues, & friends.
 
Surely, you gain a higher success,

Do it now, don't delay it.

Do it again, day by day.

Get that job, reach the top.

Not impossible, just try.

Do advise, every friend.

Shiny future, comes at end.

Do your best. Now, get rid.

Of any weakness, at any wind.

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I attempted suicide,

But I didn't die,

Not losing my life,

But what it means to be alive.

I'm drained of all motivation to continue,

But also of all strength to follow through,

I shouldn't be here,

It hurts, but it's true.

My days feel so long,

My existence feels so wrong,

I can't look at life the same,

Because I simply don't belong.

I can't be happy,

Or even...

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self love

self love

self love

I repeat

looking into 

the bathroom mirror.

staring into

cold eyes 

that are

not my own,

feeling other skin 

that covers someone else’s bones.

this cannot be me.

but somehow,

someway,

it is.

A viscious 

bloody

never-ending 

terrible war.

a war within myself

that I will surely

never w...

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Here I am again.

Lost in the same world of limbo that I always get trapped in,

Oceans of mystery below me,

Plants growing underneath me,

Stars shooting above me,

I have been stuck in this oblivion for what has seems like decades,

Ideas and thoughts looping around and around inside this tiny head of mine,

Nothing seems realistic anymore yet it does not feel like a fantasy eithe...

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So I guess that they've imprisoned us into this predetermined preposition 

When the truth is there so blatantly but we can't help but not to listen 

Because ignorance is bliss so we'll stay blissfully unaware 

As to the GMO's in all our food and the geo engineering in the air 

I suppose we'll go organic and refuse the water from the tap 

What about the metals likened to a subtle che...

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Beneath a dull, greying sky - I lay, and I watch -

You stand there on hard earth

With your outstretched arms,

Beckoning me close,

And within your eyes - resides a coldness,

And I dare say - 

Belies a desperation, a vanity that encloses your heart.

Your face is a scarred mass of distrust,

And you're twisted and crippled

Yet, you've lived on -

In an endless parade of in...

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The Marked Ones

Icicles stab like swords through my heart,

Enemies terrorize my mind,

Sanity slipping from the whole and the parts,

Time is elapsing,

Panic starts,

The dream of salvation is lost in the storm,

Ugly dark angels beg to be born,

Uncage the black beast,

Unholiest sworn,

Warriors come running from distant lands,

Strength and composure ripp...

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You stand before an empty horizon,

The silhouette of the trees running sharply across the bottom of the sky,

Eyes fixed on those soulless, black shapes in the distance.

Your gaze wonders up – slowly. The sky transforms before you

From the light into the dark.

The moon hangs – trapped in the dawn of engulfment,

The ground beneath you is dim – stretching to meet the light.

...

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The day suffocates my soul

Each minute sends me further

The more I fight the harder my body fights back

Good things happen but I am blind

The only thing I hear is silence

Faces pass, I smile back only out of habit

My body has learned how to pretend

But my mind will never grasp the concept

My heart aches constantly

It pushes against my rib cage

It is a prisoner trying ...

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A crowded room

is such a lonely place,

wear a fragile mask

upon a weary face.

Everybody’s here

but there’s nobody there

and there’s nothing to do

except sit and stare.

The distant sounds

of joy and laughter

drifting like echoes

in dusty rafters.

As you slowly subside,

sinking way down low

and you're silently wondering

how far you can go.

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Sadness is tears after losing a game or a broken bone, depression is sobs at 3 in the morning when you're all alone. Sadness makes you blue, depression makes you numb. Sadness loses to happy, depression loses to none. Sadness says, "I love you, hold me", depression screams, "I love you, go away!". Sadness is only fleeting, depression brings its bags to stay. Sadness is the curious neighbor, depres...

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My darkness is never ending.
My darkness is your greatest fear.
My darkness is something you can't escape.

Although, you can try
to shut out my darkness
with your precious little eyes,
but you silly, poor thing
you've forgotten that I exist there too.

So, please understand
that there is no way out.
That there is no ounce of light
to my darkness you try to run from.

So, stop your ...

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It is dark out there,

Where did the light go?

I can't see a thing,

But can feel the snow.

And the temperature is dropping,

Twenty below.

And my sister stopped moving,

And mother is slow.

Father has gone,

To where, I don't know.

And it is dark out there,

And still the wind blows.

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Desolation Alley

a weak light rises over the chimneys

the grass is the colour of piss

smog prises its fingers into bronchial lungs

a dog with three legs barrels down the street

curtains stained with inquisitive glances

stare out at the paperboy on a rusty bike

a cat crawls under a red Cortina parked on bricks

November exhales a grey breath on the windows

inside

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