Becoming slowly unrecognizable to yourself and others
Feelings and thoughts take
a hold, giving you the shudders
Memories and emotions that seem to flood your heart
Faces and places making it hard to know where to start
Decisions throughout the day, waiting to be made
Resting again in bed where it all just seems to fade
Urges of wanting help yet not knowing what to say
Triggers causing you...

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Crawl into my waiting arms

And tell me that it’s cold here.

The anger held within my eyes

Will never sear you.

When I’m lost in my own soul

How will you know to save me?

Or will you cry again

While telling me I’m broken?

"Broken,

        gone,

            beyond repair."

Reaching out was never easy.

Never necessary.

Never an option.

And so it sha...

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Aim your anger at me;

Pull the trigger,

And watch me bleed.

I can take a few more bullets

Rotting there inside of me.

Set me free.

Oh, set me free.

Grit my teeth,

And watch them bleed.

One by one 

They fall away

Beneath the clouds,

Beneath the gray,

Beneath the promise of better days.

I sing beneath the sky so dark

With weathered bones

With shattered...

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The feeling comes gnawing, gnashing, crashing into me from within, a reminder of the things I lack, the things I could have been.

The thought of failure torments me, slashing, stabbing, holding onto my heart, a reminder of those who always thought that I was just playing an imaginary part.

The pain comes sharply, sneakily, forcing my mind into behaving, a reminder of the moments I have lost ...

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You needed cough syrup
cause you caught a cold
i had some free time
in my really busy day
and immediately i thought:
I'll buy him cough syrup. 
I don't have a lot of money
but he deserves it!

i wanted to buy a snack
a little treat for me
i wanted something sweet
to tell myself i was good
but inside the supermarket 
i was so indecisive 
that i took nothing at all.
Maybe i didn't de...

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Today I looked at my mirror image and didn’t turn away.

I scanned my face and physique without any harmful thoughts.

Taking an interest in the fabric that I wear, not the skin beneath it.

Seeing myself as a complex creature, not a simple sex doll.

Admiring the way my hair falls around my face and my necklace matches my earrings.

How my blue eyes stand out submerged in eye shadow and...

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Perspective
it was all matter of
perspective

walking 
always on the same side
always the same

today I crossed 
to the other side
and it was different 

I observed the wall,
the street, everything
even the sky was different 

It was the same street,
and i understood:
it was all matter of perspective.

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Ah! 

The simple sorrow

Of no more tomorrows 

A gasp of air

No longer there 

Drifting down life's breezy alleys

To settle in some distant valley;

A nomad memory roaming free

Returning only occasionally 

To minds who thought all was calm

Under masquerades of smiles & charm

        Do we only truly live in youth?

‘Til conformity becomes our truth?

Teth...

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We shouldn’t be embarrassed
to talk
…. about our problems
to a therapist

always looking at me, before you speak

I’m here for —You
if ever
you feel the need to talk about anything.

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A tapestry of lives gone by

Rich threads from what we cry

Frays of the past evoking

Gaze of the future corrupting

My stream carries its fallen leaves

Its purpose only defined by what it receives

Broken mind and beaten guilt

A blackened soul only I have built

Tears like beads down a porcelain doll

She is there to no longer make me whole

As I possessed a poiso...

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For me, 

Please,

Stop cutting.

I said.

A broken record.

Only now,

As she lays in the grave,

Six feet under.

I wonder

if things would have changed,

If I just once asked her to

Stop cutting,

Please,

For you. 

Would it have made a difference, though?

The reason to cut or not remains 

the same, either way.

Nothing can change that here

She...

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Golden windows
And golden walls. 
Silver back surfers
Riding through the fall. 
I'm here waiting 
Comiserating-
Why can't I stay in the Golden halls?

The trees are embers. 
There are apples on the floor.
I get the feeling 
death is at my door.  
wish I could stay in the golden halls. 

The golden halls. 
The golden halls. 
Wish I could stay in the golden halls.

This is about ...

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Inside the mind
Like the deep blue sea
A bottomless ocean 
Where thoughts run free 
Thinking of a guys
But it feels so wrong
A feeling of guilt 
The thoughts are too strong 
A hidden secret
A self inflicted lie
Not true to oneself 
But don't know why
A locked treasure chest
Waiting to be found
A mouthful of words
But the lips are bound 
Sifting through sand
In the hope of a find
...

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My body isn’t truly part of me.

I see it as an entire separate entity.

An unholy presence that has latched onto me.

Causing me so much pain and despair

Nothing about it is correct.

Every inch of skin has a certain marking or shape that I despise.

I look around to see a crowd of other figures. All perfect. All desired.

But mine. Mine is disgusting.

I don’t even want to look ...

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People often say that God is merciful.

Then why is it that every night, every day, every waking hour of mine, 

I keep reciting the same prayer?

‘Have mercy, my Lord, and put this subject of yours out of their misery’.

If God is so merciful, then why is it that I still find myself breathing?

Exhaling every breath, hoping this one will be my last.

Why is it that I find myself all t...

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'Is everything okay?' She asked with a sense of duty not care.

This tells me that even the deepest of pains cannot be concealed. Humans know humans.

All those wasted hours I spent on pampering my appearance to hide behind a mask of beauty have been wasted.

My reflection routine of practising the performance of emotions must have been ineffective.

In response I say, ‘yes I’m okay!’ tr...

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The lady in a long fluffy pink coat 

Over a pink roll-neck sweater, 

Was suffering,

She was suffering from invisible anxiety,

Constantly she cranes her neck behind to see

Furtively looking, 

Out through the cafe door

As if waiting for someone, 

Someone, 

She's not too sure she wants to meet.

Tugging gently at the tassel dangling from her coat

She has anxious d...

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“ John put those back”

“ We don't need them.“

“ No John we don't need those either”

“ Come on.”

 "If we’re not careful, we'll be here all day.”

“ I want to get home, I've had enough shopping”

“ John let’s go and get the milk, then we'll get the bread”

“ No John not here, the floor is not your bed”

“ Come on John move, you can do it”

“ If you're a good we’ll get a slice o...

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At this very moment I’m an 18 year old, from Denmark. I don’t have much idea of who I am, but as many scientists state, my brain is still under development, so I choose to believe it’s okay. I don’t really have hobby hobby, but I enjoy trying new things, and have periods of times, where I’m fixated on a certain thing and will be doing that, until I’m tired of it. It has been painting, drawing, gym...

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Something must be done. I must find the puzzle piece to full my emptiness. 

The sound of my mouth quickly eating echoing through my ears. The weight being realised from my shoulders. At last.

Peace.

Hold on. STOP STOP. Why can’t I stop?

My appetite is gone but my pain lingers. As I re-gain awareness I am surrounded by an endless pile of wrappers. Each one symbolising my failure. My lac...

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I envy those who experience stillness.

A feeling which my mind is constantly searching for.

My internal monologue throwing my head back and forward and back again.

Blood being ghastly pumped through my aching limbs.

Must keep moving. Must keep moving.

My body a burden I must carry throughout all my days.

My mind a vampire sucking away my essence.

My lungs lost for air.

A...

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I'm defenceless, powerless.

Constrained, by uncontrolled emotions,

To this rollercoaster: up, down, up, down.

Desperate screams silenced in smothering shame.

I didn't consent to this ride,

So why won't you let me get off?

Sadness is suicide;

Anger is murder,

Happiness is euphoric,

And normal? Normal is northing.

And nothing being an insufferable emptiness,

That hol...

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The concept of beauty has consumed my entire head space.

Not a day goes by were I don't gaze into my reflection until it's deformed.

My mind on a continuous loop of self hatred and self obsession.

Am I pretty or am I delusional?

I seem to want to gain validation more than sanity.

Looking intently into the eyes of those who peer my way to read their mannerisms around my presence.

...

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That I would hang myself in the sky outside your window

and slowly reach my hand out to the sun,

claiming its fire as my own.

One more bright star in your sky,

a bloody inferno.

So that when you look out,

there is one more small piece of joy.

I am all I have

to give.

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August

She wished it to be a month of hope,

Not that of despair, or distress

Her days blurred in nothingness

Like a bird fallen in a trench, flapping its wings

Move, run, walk, read, write, stop!

Her body powerless, prisoned by her mind

Reduced to a mute spectator,

For her mind has a mind of its own

She dallies her day away

Eager for her sleep

No dreams, ...

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Please don't abuse yourself 

i know it's suffocating you

I know the pain is unbearable 

and you want everything to just end

Please put that knife away

it's for chopping vegetables 

not for ripping apart your wrists

Please throw that rope away

its for hanging clothes

not your precious soul

I know it's hurting you

i know it's bad

But pleas...

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