Strange how your love you’s

Turned to I hate you’s

In the blink of a cheating eye 

Your head on the pillow

Filled with devious dreams

Of changing my name 

Before attempting resuscitation

Again

Strange how your lust

Turned to jealousy

Wrapped in endearments

And lies

So strange how you loved me

Only to hate me

But you loved me

So you wished...

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As the grace of age settles into all the parts of me

I begin to see life differently

Now, with the album almost full

Looking back is easy

My fingers trace the outlines of memories

While my mind fills the gaps that once lived in between

I watch the young girl in the frame

 -A frozen fragment of history-

Gazing out at me

Her eyes have changed

But her heart is ...

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A poem based on the true story of my mother’s life.   The poem explores issues surrounding mental health and the impact of being raised in the harsh world of industrial schools in the 1960s.  The repetitive use of her Christian name is deliberate and refers to the fact that on entering these schools, children would often be stripped of their names and assigned a number in it’s place. 
Some people...

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Her Name is Anne. 

The clock ticks so slowly
Mimicking the sound of the raindrops tapping gently on the window neatly settled into the greyness of the day

Walls still damp from the grief pounded into them by wailing mothers 
begin to close in
Pushing down with purpose, they land on my chest, where they sit 
stubbornly refusing to leave

Ghosts of the past emerge from the dust
Empty ar...

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Her Name is Anne. 

The clock ticks so slowly
Mimicking the sound of the raindrops tapping gently on the window settled neatly into the greyness of the day
Tick tock, drip drop

Walls still damp from the grief once pounded into them by wailing mothers 
begin to close in
Pushing down with purpose, they land on my chest, where they sit 
stubbornly refusing to leave

Ghosts of the past eme...

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Planting hope for tomorrow

Tulips, daffodils, and snowdrops

Hold hope for rebirth, friendship, and love

Courage, fertility, and positivity nestled deep within the heart of these unassuming 

Harbingers of change 

As the earth begins to drift into silence

The gardener becomes the soothsayer of brighter days

Nurturing the land; just like a mother

Soothing her pr...

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For so long you were the longest shadow

cast in the depths of winter

My frost bitten heart

hardened by the bitter taste

Of your name

You sat on the edge of my universe

Like a fleeting moment missed

Always just out of reach

And always silent

Your absence fell upon me like a snow blanket

stretching out into every corner of my world

Each hill I climbed with ...

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Masterpiece. 

He painted me just like all those masterpieces that had gone before

His brush, a wand, sprinkling lovers in the mist

The artist brought his muse to life

In a water coloured wish

In his world, I became Venus

I became The Kiss

He saw me as a butterfly

In a kaleidoscope of colour

I was a mermaid

Rising gracefully

From the overburdened sea

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Mosaic Heart. 

The interlace of me and you
Began long ago
Way back in the bygone years
Long before we exchanged tears

Through space and time
Pieces of you were falling
Shimmering softly in the atmosphere
Searching for a forever home

My heart was in pieces 
An unfinished mosaic
Waiting; wandering aimlessly
Unaware of the possibility

The possibility of you ~
Until the day our s...

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You are in the raindrops

Falling soft on autumn leaves

You are the wistful wind

Which I so desperately need

To help me breathe

I hear the river murmur

When my name flows from your lips

You are the bridge between the seasons

Of my life

T’es mon amour

Mon cœur

You are the scent of the forest floor

Rising in drifts of patchouli

To leave me wa...

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She didn’t really have flesh

No eyes

No heart

No bones

It was hard to believe

That she even existed

Sometimes it was easier

To imagine that her children

Fell from the sky

She never spoke

But her voice would get into your head

And she would say things

Like

I love you

Goodbye

You could search 

your own face

Maybe you could find her th...

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The Moon Fairy (Sapphire Queen) 

She came in the form of a Sapphire  Queen

The melancholic fairy of the moon

Her beauty gave her no joy

With the absence of her lover

Tarnishing her bloom

In the depths of night

The air would shiver at the haunting

Of her lament

No one could escape the pulsating vibration

Of her grief

The earth shuddered to the core

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The Red (Pink) Room. 

The red room was never really red

It was more a salmon pink

But no one ever wants to admit that they like the colour pink

Do they?

Anyway, the red room (which was really pink)

It was a special room

The kind of room that hugged you

Until you turned bright pink

It was a room without corners

It didn’t even really have a ceiling

It ...

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I don’t call them scars

I prefer to see them as badges of honour

For all the times I honoured myself

In the face of my attackers

Each time I was called upon

To defy their malice

And refused to accept their lies

I won a medal, which I pinned to my heart

Every tear to the fibre of my being is stitched together with a pin bearing the name of the battle fought and won

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I Will lie to You. 

If by chance we should ever meet
Don’t ask me how I am ~
I will lie to you

I could not bear to see your eyes
Should I ever tell you of my pain
You would only turn away
To never look at me again

Instead, just ask 
if I heard the birds sing ~
My heart will soar
And I will tell you
All about my morning

Ask me about my favourite flower
I will talk to you for h...

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I am leaving you for moonlight 

I have one last thing to say

Don’t look for me tomorrow

For I have gone away

You might catch me in the birdsong

It’s not really me

I won’t be in the sunshine

Or underneath a willow tree

I will be the last star shining

Brighter than the rest

I will be in the ripples

Of your memory

I am leaving you for moonlight

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My lover sleeps under the stars tonight

While I am cloaked in darkness

The cold room echoes silence 

And resentment

I am jealous of the moon

Looking down on him

Are they together?

Her all new and shiny

Washing his limbs in silver light

Him laid out like Perseus 

Awaiting Andromeda 

Leaving me as no more than a spectator 

Of something that was once mine

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Muse

I have read him a thousand times
He is a man who does not care for rhyme

Yet his words melt into one another
Like chocolat oozing over mountains
Or soft eggs meeting soldiers 
On a sleepy Sunday morning

I look for a reason
He tells me not to pander ~
The masses will never be happy
He says I should write what I know

Delve into my soul
Paint the flowers 
That in my garden g...

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Love doesn’t just stop loving
Love is eroded by the constant drip, drip, drip. 

The drip of neglect
The drip of withdrawal
The drip of rejection

Love holds on for as long as it can
Hoping and praying for it’s own survival 
Love will never abandon itself

Love will just fall
Into introspection
That is when love

Forgets
To 
Come 
Back

Leaving in search
Of another’s affection...

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When I was a tree

I stood for a hundred years

I just stood, and watched

And waited

I had no concerns

There were no desires, doubts

Or tears

I was a tree

And everybody loved me

As a tree, I felt my roots

Unfurling through the earth

My limbs stretched out 

As high as they could reach

My crown was gifted from the stars

I lived amongst my f...

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Lately. 

Lately,  I’ve been thinking
I’ve been reliving
Reminiscing 
Lately,  I’ve been thinking ~
I’ve been thinking
About forgiving

Lately, I’ve remembered
What it felt like
To walk those lonely roads
To be alone and cold
In early September

I remember it all
The first flight of early fall 
I’ve relived every moment
I’ve returned to the torment
I’ve relived it all

I won’t...

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Love doesn’t just stop loving
Love is eroded by the constant drip, drip, drip. 

The drip of neglect
The drip of withdrawal
The drip of rejection

Love holds on for as long as it can
Hoping and praying for it’s own survival 
Love will never abandon itself

Love will just fall
Into introspection
That is when love

Forgets
To 
Come 
Back

Leaving in search
Of another’s affe...

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You never seemed to understand 

Never really tried to know

Who I truly am

If you did

You didn’t care

I am not even sure 

You were ever there

I filled our home

With fairy lights

And candles ~

Grew roses amongst the brambles

You drew plans

Fit only for

A single man

Said you loved me

Asked me 

To read you poetry

And then

Y...

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If you want my heart

You have to be ready for fire

How far will you go ~

To feel the force of the hurricane?

Are you prepared to never be the same?

I hear your calls blowing over me

Like a summer breeze 

Oblivious to the power of my flames

Oceans are no good to me

I cannot fight the waves

My soul needs to burn

Holes in the sky

Do you wish to fly?

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Love doesn’t come

In the glint of an eye

Love doesn’t run

Or make you cry

Love hides in mysterious places

Amongst a crowd of a thousand

Faces

Loves finds it’s home

In peculiar spaces

Love is content

With quiet moments

The saddest days

Are when love 

Cements

It strokes your hair

And dries your eyes

It listens and promises

To always b...

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Love doesn’t come

In the glint of an eye

Love doesn’t run

Or make you cry

Love hides in mysterious places

Amongst a crowd of a thousand

Faces

Loves finds it’s home

In peculiar spaces

Love is content

With quiet moments

The saddest days

Are when love 

Cements

It strokes your hair

And dries your eyes

It listens and promises

To always b...

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How can a heart be so full

Yet still have space for more?

And what of the busy mind -

How come it can keep on learning ~

It’s an eternal revolving door

How can the feelings I have 

Be so deep ~

Surely I shouldn’t keep falling

Why do the birds keep on singing ~

Are they constantly writing new songs ~

Purely to make my eyes weep

Does the sun ever tire of li...

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I wonder if there is a place

Where poets go to cry

A special spot

Perhaps a garden

Filled with daffodils

And ever rolling hills

I wonder if there is a space

Reserved for poetic souls

A meadow full of wildflowers

Neither hot,  nor cold;

Temperate, with just the lightest

Summer breeze

A place where feathers fall

And become the poets quill

Birdsong ...

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