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Let's create a worldwide resolution to bring about a ceasefire to all this depravity and sin

A ceasefire is urgently needed to curb this rising death toll,

Joe Biden publically refuses to back a ceasefire role.

Biden appears to have given Israel the green light to end Palestinian lives , 

Possibly seeing a pro-Israeli stance as politically useful as their bond survives.

 

A ceasefire is the immediate optfion  to bring the conflict back from the brink,

Biden should lend a...

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Fred was unlucky and lost his case!!

Fred went to his solicitor to discuss making a will and the solicitor's fee,

"Thanks for coming in,"the solicitor said,"leave it all to me."

Fred was shocked at what the solicitor said,

"I would like to leave some of it to my family,"said Fred.

 

On another occasion Fred sued an airline who had mislaid his suitcase,

But after much trauma and stress,Fred lost his case !!

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Ageing ! It seems to be the only way to live a long life

During my life I safely held the water back as a damn,

Now I have given up that struggle and am what I am.

Life is a book where you turn page after page,

Joyfully live your life and forget your age.

 

The thoughts of being at death's door I try to block,

But the truth is on the door I am afraid to knock.

Dying is a very cruel,dreary affair being lowered into a pit,

The bonu...

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Christmas cancelled in Bethlehem

The biblical birthplace of Jesus resembles a ghost town,

Due to the Israeli-Hamas war,cellibrations have broken down.

Missing! the festive lights and Christmas tree of Manger Square,

As were the thongs of foreign tourists,who were never there.

 

Bethlehem and Gaza are in a constant state of stress,

And have never been in a state like this before,the city is in a mess.

70 hotel...

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Giving advice

I have found the best way to give advice,

Is to sit down with the recipient and be nice.

And find out what the recipient is desiring,

Advise the recipient to do it and be inspiring.

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Breaking news

A lorrry load of prunes has been stolen by a man wielding a gun,

Police have just reported that the man is still on the run.

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Homeless and depressed

Nearly a whole week without a meal,

Real hunger hurts,difficult to heal.

Being homeless is destabilizing and depressing,

Spending days looking for a meal seriously stressing.

 

Constantly obstacles chipped away at my self-esteem,

When evicted,losing my belongings,I did scream.

It was really chilly and shivery sleeping in the entrances of empty shops,

I became scared,angry a...

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Self control

Let your word yes mean yes and your word no mean no,

Adhere to the benefits of self control and down a successful stream you will flow.

Too much self control will never become a flaw,

Greater self control will bring less financial stress and problems with the law.

 

If you are honest people will trust you,

If you are kind people will like you.

Self control makes you responsibl...

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When you have a serious illness lean on family and friends

The mental anguish associated with a serious illness can be devastating to hear,

In addition to the illness itself you have to deal with fragile emotions,anxiety and fear.

When Eileen was diagnosed with a serious illness it was something she wouldn't dismiss.

"It's not something I expected but I have to find a way to deal with this."

 

Eileen's greatest gift came from the support of...

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Shear brilliance ewe herd it here first

Jim was on his way to a sheep auction in town,

Unfortunately his truck full of sheep broke down.

Jim guided the sheep,except for one ewe,to the sale in Blackburn ,

But got a fine through the post for making a ewe turn.

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Stress relief ,never be anxious about the next day

The world is more stressed,worried and in pain,

Perilous  times of stress and trouble seem to reign.

The more you are in control the better you will feel,

The more important tasks consider and reveal.

 

Anxiety in a human's heart weighs it down,

Sharing a worry with a true friend can remove a frown.

Unburdening yourself can make you feel better,

Removing the stress on the p...

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"Doctor please can you give me a kiss ?"

A young woman asks her doctor to give her a kiss,

"That is definitely a no no,it would be against my code of practise.!"

"Oh please just one kiss,"the young lady said.

"Certainly not" ,said the doctor,"we shouldn't even be in the same bed ! "

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“Getting old and 85 candles on my cake,”thoughts of an elderly gentleman

"I sit on my chair and develop a frown,

My age always goes up and never comes down.

Why am I getting older and wider,

Instead of getting older and wiser ?

 

Getting old can be very sad,

But the alternative can be really bad.

Age is an issue of mind over matter,

I f you don't mind,it really doesn't matter.

 

At 85 it's the oldest I have ever been,

11 years more to c...

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Halloween

Two vampires are on the roam,

They wander and stumble on a carehome.

They bang on the door and shout,"trick or treat,

It's Halloween and blood we need to eat."

A nurse answered the door and wouldn't let them in.

"It's not worth you coming here,all the residents are on warfarin ."

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Thoughts of a soldier at war

"Life can be pure bliss when all goes well ,

But for me in the midst of a war,life is hell.

Disaster into my life has crept,

Confronted,I dropped onto my knees and wept.

 

Shock,confusion,anxiety,nightmares and strife.

Disheartened with little motivation to proceed with my life.

Life is a disaster I have become a hopeless fretter.

With the war and mass killings,can things e...

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Stoptober -quit smoking

A child was born in Blackburn early on Christmas day,

She became a passive smoker as in her cot she lay.

Her lungs the size of plums filled up with cruel smoke,

When her mother heard her coughing it really made her choke.

 

Smoking makes the stairs seem steeper,

As your chest runs out of breath,

It fills the air with darkness,

And leads to certain death.

 

Smoking in ...

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Happiness by a primary school child

"I feel so very happy when I go to school,

Life for me is wonderful,my teachers are so cool.

Their teaching makes me happy,their words make me smile,

Coming to school and learning,is preciously worthwhile.

 

Teachers stand by us in bad times and keep us safe from harm,

You are our Guardian Angels and our lucky charm.

You are much older and every day are there,

You bring us ...

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A shock to my system !!

Something happened which I found beyond belief,

The Deparment of Transport rang and called my son a thief.

It was an accusation that I couldn't bear,

But when I got home,all the signs were there !!

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Patient distress

Disruption to patient care,unlike anything we have experienced before,

Consultants and junior doctors joint strike action,patients deplore.

Disruption to patient care ,unlike anything seen in the past,

Over a million appointments and treatments cancelled,how long will it last ?

 

Patients have been left paying the price,

Facing long queues for their care is not nice.

Biggest w...

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Lucy Letby,sweet innocent faced

To give birth to a child is the hardest job a woman can do.

9 months of the growth inside her she is put through.

The pain turns to joy as the delivery takes place,

The evil actions of the monster in Lucy Letby is an utter disgrace.

 

How did all this come about?

A difficult one to work out.

Normal parents,normal house,normal job,

Sweet innocent faced,numerous lives this mo...

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Thoughts of a 19 year old on overcoming sadness

"Sadness can come along  anytime,even when life is trouble free,

And can happen even to a strong-willed person like me.

When sadness holds you in it's grip,

Talk and share the turmoil of your trip.

 

Share your sadness with friends ,open up your soul,

Lowering a rope they might pull you out of this hole.

When sadness clouds your outlook on life,

Write  about it ,document yo...

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Jill and the pill

Jill a grandmother decided to go on the pill,

The numerity of her grandchildren were making her ill.

The grandchildren she had she did adore,

But definitely decided not to have any more.

 

Seek the advice of your G.P. before going down this road as it might not work for you

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Self-control

Self-control must be embedded in a child's brain from an early age,

Children with greater self-control are less likely to suffer depression or rage.

And less likely as adults to have health issues ,financial stress and problems with the law.

Instilling to much self-control in their brains will definitely not be a flaw.

 

A young child might try throwing a tantrum leading to parental...

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The family

"A Muslim must perform obligatory acts of worship, almsgiving,fasting and prayer,

Good conduct and kind words and good deeds must always be there.

The mother being the bearer and first carer is bestowed with the highest rank in family life,

Responsible for those under her care as a mother and a devoted wife.

 

The family is the living cell of society held together by love,

Marria...

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Sacked on my first day at H.S.B.C. In Dover

It was really exciting when I got the results of my G.C.E's,

Managed to get nine passes,my parents it did please.

My first job was at a local bank,

My mathematical skills I must thank.

Unfortunately I was sacked on my first day at H.S.B.C. in Dover.

A man asked me to check his balance,so I pushed him over !!

 

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Hundreds of school kids run riot in Manchester city centre as cops hit with eggs,shops closed and trams forced to crawl !!

On Friday july the 21st hundreds of cocky screaming youngsters did bolt,

In school uniform celibrating the end of term in revolt.

A couple of O.A.P.'s next to me on a bench were trembling,

While the kids in Manchester town centre, ready to riot, were assembling.

 

Welcome to the next generation of no respect,

Due to the lack of no discipline and soft parenting neglect.

Workers...

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Our life on this earth is the creation of an extremely clever mind

Our bodies are one of the most complex structures to view,

Made up of a 100 trillion tiny cells to name but a few.

Blood cells,bone cells and brain cells created by mankind  ?

NO way !! Our life on this earth is the creation of an extremely clever mind.

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The power of the banana

Bananas are readily available,cheap and easy to consume,

Worldwide growth and distribution of we must definitely resume.

In lowering blood pressure the banana plays an important role,

A banana a day keeps the possibility of strokes under control.

 

Potassium,a miracle mineral that the body needs to work well,

Good fortune bestowed upon us in the banana,large quantities dwell.

...

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A big thanks to our Creator

When I see a car,a skyscraper,a ship I marvel at the design,

Countless days and hours intelligent people have devoted to refine.

After nine months of development in my mother's womb,

On my entrance into this world my sight,hearing and voice did bloom.

Cars have to be designed by someone,so do we,

But the one who brilliantly designed all things oh Lord was Thee  .

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Planting a future in a teenage brain

Are you a leaf being blown around,

Or a tree firmly embedded in the ground ?

Rather than drift through life letting things happen by chance,

Set yourself goals and plan how to get there in advance.

 

Don't let a road block become a dead end,

Discuss your problems with a true friend.

Keeping mistakes a secret only makes things worse,

Admit your errors and make the trauma dis...

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A door to door hearing aid salesman gives up his job

George was made redundant due to the pandemic,

Found there were not many jobs available for an academic.

He took up a job as a door to door  salesman  selling a hearing aid,

On a commision only basis he would get paid.

Unfortunately he is not doing the job anymore,

Prospective customers couldn't hear him when he knocked on their door.

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The resurrection of the N.H.S. is a must !!!

The N.HS..  is a miraculous gift bestowed upon us by Aneurin Bevan,

We are all born in it,die in it, on our path to heaven.

The daily miracles performed by our health workers must be kept alive,

Something so fundamental in our history,must survive.

 

Clapping on our doorsteps and celebrating births is all very well,

But the N.H.S. we must protect, it's loss would be shere hell.

...

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Old age does not come alone ,thoughts of an old man having a moan.

"Getting old is an issue of mind over matter,

If you don't mind it really doesn't matter.

Growing fruit trees in my garden I do engage,

Hoping I will live to a very ripe old age.

 

The multitasking gift old age has given to me,

All at once I can cough,sneeze and pee.

I recently called  the incontinence line and was told,

Sorry you are in a queue please can you hold.

 

...

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The road to recovery lies ahead !!

Learning that you have cancer is traumatic,

Feeling anxious,afraid and overwhelmed is dramatic.

Practice ways to relax ,exercise by going for a walk,

Share your feelings with friends and family ,it's good to talk.

 

What helped you through tough times in the past,

Can ease your worries now,which can be vast.

Set aside time to be alone,

Organise your thoughts ,improve your t...

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"One flesh"

"I was rushed in an ambulance to the maternity ward,

The fruit of my womb became my precious reward.

The birth of my child was overwhelming and thrilling,

A joy into my life my midwife was bringing.

 

Nine months of stress and exhaustion I could leave behind,

Glorifying on our new arrival,realizing that love is patient and kind.

In the months ahead our new arrival will be runn...

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A tribute to Jesus

Jesus who performed many miracles was compassionate,tender and kind ,

Brought into this world to cure the lame,deaf and blind.

Mild mannered and lowly in heart,

Influenced men and women who flocked to take part.

 

His love for people was profound.

A bond for each other He fortunately found.

The dead He brilliantly did resurrect,

Treated women with kindness,dignity and respe...

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Double arrest,one let off

The police arrested two teenagers yesterday,

One had been sipping battery acid all day.

The other had been chewing fireworks and developed a cough.

They charged the battery acid guy  and let the other one off.

 

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The wonder of the fly

A fly came into my kitchen when the weather was hot,

Numerous times I missed when attempting to swat.

A fly is highly agile and hard to catch,

I gave up in the end,I'd met my match.

 

Complex and precise movements it was able to perform,

Which enables it to remain stable,even in a storm.

A brilliant idea for our aerospace researchers to clutch,

Designed by our Creator who t...

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Jane’s new boyfriend turns out to be a disaster

Jane brings her new. boyfriend home to meet her mum and dad,

To meet him her parents were not very glad.

They disliked his hairccut,tatoos,piercings and attire,

Mum said,"he doesn't seem to be the sort of man you should desire!"

"But mum he is a very good man,

He's just done 500 hours community service in the Isle of Man!"

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My wild and wonderful garden

My overgrown garden neglected it is not,

Nature is left to grow and get on with it's lot.

My garden left to do it's own thing is a very healthy space,

The protection given by the sun to the soil is just ace.

 

Wildlife thrives on what is perceived as a mess

Weeds are great for pollinations,long grass beetles bless.

My thoughts are uplifted by even the most sluggish of weeds,

...

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The cup final between City and United

A derby like no other played ,

All over the world will be relayed.

Two teams will meet based 5 miles apart,

Millions are awaiting the 3 P.M. start.

 

Who will win the reds or the blues?

One will win and the other will lose.

The cup will travel to Manchester this aft,

A plea to suppporters don't act daft.

 

Whatever happens don't be vexed,

Enjoy the game and what co...

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Why to this court this case you did bring ?

My friend was taken to court by her neigbhour next door,

The neigbhour complained her dog's constant barking he did abhor.

My friend's dog's  constant barking she adamently did deny,

The judge asked the neighbour a question,he did not reply.

 

The neigbhour stood up,"Is it me your speaking to,I can't hear a thing ?"

The case was dismissed.Why to this court this case you did bring...

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"I wear my hijab as an act of purity and modesty."

"The stares and glares I get from wearing my hijab I have never relished,

However this covering makes me feel honoured,safe and cherished.

For me the decrease in moral values make the hijab a must,

A source of liberation,dignity and protection from a lawless lust.

 

Many think that the hijab is a portable prison we have aquired,

Restricting our minds,lives and hearts never to be ...

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The formation of a family

The foundation of human society is the family formation,

The coming together of a man and woman in a loving relation.

The family is an unit of love,enthusiasm,devotion and sincerity,

Regarded as the source of progress,strength ,love and prosperity.

 

 

Man and woman are brought together,the relationship is intense,

Extra marital sex is sinful and should be an offence !!

Whe...

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What’s coming next ?

In 1914 war broke out on a scale never seen before,

The first world war began,on the horizon much more!!

The second world war gave birth to atomic weapons,grossly unkind,

Millions of people slaugbtered by the cruelty of mankind !

 

Earthquakes around the world spread terror and fear,

Records show sixteen major quakes blight us every year.

Causing suffering and loss of life on ...

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A big thankyou to our Creator

The earth,our rock,has been perfectly designed for us to survive,

In a safe habitable zone to keep us all alive.

We are truly meant to be here,designed by our Lord above,

Our existence is not a quirk of fate but made with true love.

 

Human life is unique,enabling us to enjoy life to the full,

Tastes,smells,sounds colours and sights from heaven our Designer did pull.

These gif...

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Mental health

A  worldwide mental health crisis over us does loom,

A measure of anxiety can prevail even sitting by yourself in a room.

One can try to take one day at a time to sort things out,

But sometimes several days at a time, in attack ,can come about.

 

Depression is a medical disorder, causes disruption,makes life hell,

Good mental health is a state of well-being when you can function ...

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The importance of discipline

Without discipline teenagers are like a ruderless ship,

Which will eventually go off course and even tip.

In a world where obedience is so rare,

To commend your teenager when complying is really fair.

 

Communication makes it easier to accept correction,

Making major issues over minor thing fuels rejection.

A serious trait needs to be weeded out,

An unintentional mistake ,j...

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God bless King Charles 111

His strong sense of duty will benefit our country as a whole,

Mentored by the most successful monarch in our history to play his role.

Physically and mentally he has matured to be our king,

The way he greets onlookers on special occasions, a blessing he does bring.

 

Well prepared and modern,aware of our wishes and needs,
At ease with his country's growing ethnic and religious cree...

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Old and cold !!!

An 85 year old lady did not turn her heating on due to a fear of high bills,

Unfortunately due to the cold spells,into her body hypothermia spills.

Fixated by high energy bills her heating was turned off,

Hypothermia crept in leading to pneumonia and a severe cough.

   

Last week I got a gas bill estimate of 1600  quid,

Checked my recent meter reading,glad I did.

Turned  out t...

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"I love you,your mine."

Jill and Kline were at home sipping wine,

"I love you. " said Jill,"your mine."

"Is that you or the wine talking ?" asked Kline. 

"It's me,"said Jill,"talking to the wine."

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Thoughts of a lady giving birth

"Having a baby changed my life,

Dividing my time being a mum and a wife.

Most of my energy was devoted to my new arrival,

The fruit of my womb, I must ensure his survival.

 

The kicks and the wiggles inside my belly,

I gave birth on the sofa watching the telly.

Face,fingers legs and toes soon arrive,

The miracle of our future came alive !!

 

Raising an arrival can mak...

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The horse’s leg,a miracle,how did it come about ?

A horse can gallop up to 30 miles per hour,

This involves ingenious mechanical power ,

The muscles in the legs act as dampers vibrating to any length,

A highly specialised muscle design that provides agility and strength.

 

Horses can sometimes be seen standing up as they sleep,

So that they can run away as predators upon them creep.

The design of the horse's legs engineers ha...

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That’s snot very funny!!

Whilst blowing my nose into a tissue in France ,

A woman asked,"How do you make a tissue dance?"

I thought about it for a bit,

And said, "Put a little boogey in it."
 

I then told her my nose was really runny,

She answered,"That's snot very funny !!"

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A bad move having a meal out with a mate!!

Was having a meal out with a keen chess player,

Over our table was a chequered tablecloth layer.

Enjoyment of the meal came to a sudden halt,

It took him over an hour to pass me the salt !!

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Revenge

Three rough hairy bikers stop at a services for a meal,

Sat next to a lady and her chips they did steal.

One pulled out a fag and next to her did smoke,

Another rudely laughing gave her a poke.

 

Without a word of protest she pays her bill and departs,

Jumps into her enormous truck ,turns the key and starts.

With a sigh of relief leaves the services and her dislikes,

And ca...

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Good news for me and you

Satan and his demons on our earth,fear and panic spread,

Wars,famines,epidemics and earthquakes leave many dead.

Current events indicate that God's time to act is near,

Plans how to enjoy a better future we will soon hear.

 

Jesus is ruling the earth from heaven as king,

And good news from heaven to us all will bring.

When on earth Jesus cured the sick and raised the dead,

...

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The spread of kindness

Kindness touches hearts in a special way,

Like a warm fire on a cold day.

A powerful quality that comes from the heart,

Creating a communal feeling when we all take part.

 

Being kind strengthens one's satisfaction in life,

Spreads an ointment of calm on turmoil and strife.

Being friendly and considerate,means much more,

A kind word,a smile or even opening a door,

 

T...

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Avoid an unhealthy hell and look after your body well.

Wash your hands and stay clean,

Spreading germs is really mean !!

Avoid infections,be careful where you roam,

Regularly clean and disinfect your home.

 

Love your body ,be careful what you take in,

Alcohol,drugs and tobacco are a sin !!

Limit your intake of salt ,sugar and fat,

Follow a healthy diet,make sure you do that.

 

Set a good time to go to bed,

Relax,shed ...

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A depressed teenager's hope for the future was lifted

" I sit on the side of my bed and wonder if there will be a tomorrow,

Suffering pain, fear,mental anguish and deep sorrow.

My teenage life has been darkened by a cloud of sadness .

And an immense difficulty in dealing with this madness.

 

No motivation to do anything,all I want to do is sleep.

Into a dark deep hole ,with no way out,I creep.

I often feel unloved,worthless and a...

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Our world is in turmoil !!

Our world is in turmoil,how can we cope ?

Worrying about negatives will weaken our hope.

Some of the problems we face might change for the better,

Protect your hope and become a trend setter .

 

Focus on the positives and ways to deal with the situation,

And list a few things to show your appreciation.

As anxiety over the world turmoil increases ,people suffer,

Disturbing n...

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Hip hip hooray for women's international day !!

Many men see women as objects of sex,

They are not there to exploit and annex !!

To ignore a woman's voice is a sin,

Step up women,get together you can win.

 

A good woman carries light in her smile and good in her bones,

Always there to assist us,even on her mobile phones.

A woman is the loveliest flower that blooms,

With love and wonder her fragrance worldwide zooms.

 

...

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"For the discipline and the love of my parents I sincerely thank"

Discipline guides a child like a steering wheel guides a car,

When a child does not adhere to your rules ,he or she can only go so far.

The word discipline can mean to guide or teach,

A moral training to provide good goals to reach.

 

In recent decades discipline has become more rare,

Always commend children for their obedience and care.

A deliberate disobedience a child must ...

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Jake asked Jane if he could take her home

Jane homeless lived on the streets,

Abuse and thefts by men she constantly meets.

Jake also round the streets did roam,

One day asked Jane whether he could take her home.

Jane smiled at Jake and said he could,

Jake ran away with her cardboard box as fast as he could.

 

Jake while running away as fast as a rocket,

A lottery ticket dropped out of his pocket.

Jane picked it...

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R.I.P. oh mother of two

A solemn silence on a community does descend,

As the search for a much loved mother comes to an end.

It was a discovery that none of us wanted to hear,

As Nichola was discovered in the river Wyre.

 

R.I.P. oh mother of two,

We are so sad at the loss of You.

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Toegether we will conquer hatred and live in harmony

Worldwide hatred can destroy mankind,

Strongly entrenched in hearts and mind.

World leaders must play an important role,

Cultivating qualities such as peace,patience and self control.

 

Satan the devil is behind all the hatred we see,

God must destroy the devil and all those under his evil tree.

Hatred hits the world like bad weather,

Finally all traces of hatred will be re...

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Homelessness ! A plight to fight

The wind out there is strong and cold,

Attacking the homeless both young and old.

Wrapped up in blankets both dirty and damp,

The street is their bedroom,it's light their lamp.

 

Houses and flats are too expensive for one,

Sleeping in a Debenham's doorway is not much fun.

The homeless problem is a street blight,

Increasing in numbers every single night.

 

The homeless...

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A calm heart

A calm heart brings joy to life,

Stress  causes anxiety and strife.

Try to live one day at a time,

And illuminate all that is sublime.

Avoid the anxieties of the next day,

And sort out the problems of today.

 

Avoid unreasonable high standards and stress,

Laughter brightens up your mood in distress.

Negative emmotions can cloud clear thinking,

Avoid smoking vaping and...

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An annoying flight

On a lengthy flight from China to France,

An unruly lad up and down the isle did prance.

He was annoying everyone,they couldn't take anymore ,

Finally he ran into the stewardess knocking all her drinks on the floor.


Fed up with his antics,he had definitely spoilt her day,

"For God's sake why don't you go outside to play !!!"

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Nicola Bulley gone missing while walking her dog beside the river Wyre

Nicola, gone missing has caused numerous concern,

We are all praying together for your safe return.

Nicola mother of two went missing while walking her dog,

Last seen  near the river Wyre,no further log ! 
 

The case is described as unusual,concerning and rare,

It seems that she has vanished into thin air .

The search has quickly been escalated,

The presence of a police searc...

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The future is bright

In a while the wicked will be no more ,

And into our lives goodness will pour.

With the calamities of the past we will cope,

Pushing them to the side building up hope.

 

He who looks after us from above,

Will shower us with unlimited love.

A bright future is there to share,

Drawing us close to Him up there.

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A highly rated family dentist

I was sat in the waiting room next to go in ,

A lady just been treated came out with a grin.

"Thank goodness my treatment is complete,

My visit to this dentist has been a treat.

A gum problem he has sorted with ease ,

I was highly  impressed by his expertise."

I said,"The lady was really impressed how you sorted her gum."

"Oh yes she would have been,that was my mum ."

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Rishi Sunak “A fine poem”

Rishi Sunak one of Parliament's most eloquent speakers,

His eloquence is amazing,jeepers creepers !!!

Envied by his opposition parties,they are fed up.

Constantly wishing that he would belt up ! !

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A mist opportunity

I tried to catcb a fog yesterday,

My persistence didn't pay.

As soon as I got close fog did resist,

So unfortunately in the end I mist !!

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Plan carefully how to manage your money !

The economy is in crisis take heed,

Money is required to plan what we need.

Decide what we can afford ,choose the best deals,

Rather than eating out, prepare your own meals.

 

Money is imprtant but don't let it disrupt,

Guard against greeds before they errupt.

A load of money is not an essential to enjoy life,

But avoid overspending,anxiety and strife.

 

What can we d...

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An early wake up call !!

Our P.M. after a hard day needed a long sleep,

But early morning into his room his speech writer did creep.

"There is an urgent matter sir that requires your attention ."

Angry the P.M. Said "I am the P.M. not the A.M.I must mention!"

The P.M.'s speech writer has since resigned,

He's speechless,no more lies assigned .

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"R.I.P. young lady, we love you so much."

A disaster happened last week in Caterham Surrey ,

A lady dog walker was mauled to death in a tragic scurry.

While walking eight dogs ,the wolf in them came alive.

Utterly heartbreaking ,the poor lady didn't survive.

 

Dogs cannot be trusted together in a pack,

It only takes one to go crazy and they could all crack.

Nobody out walking that day will forget the lady's screams,

...

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Unemployed !!

With a job at a calendar factory Mike was lumbered,

Totally bored,his days there were numbered.

"I don't mind going to work," said Mike,

"It's the eight hour wait to go home I don't like !!"

 

Mike then got a job at the job centre on good pay,

Got the sack, but still had to come in the next day,

Mike suffered a memory loss after his interview there,

Got offered a new job,bu...

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A visit to the psychiatrist !!!

Len and Tom met at a psychiatrist's door,

Tom said,"I don't know whether I want to be here anymore !"

"Are you coming or going  ?" asked Len.

"If I knew that,"said Tom "I wouldn't have to be here  agen !"

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A simple answer

Fred eagerly  wanted to marry and start a new life,

Having shed many mental issues,he asked Claire to be his wife.

"I love the simple things in life,but I'm sorry ," she said,

" I don't want one of them to be my husband Fred !!"

 

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It's raining,it's pouring ,your driving me mad !!!

It's raining,it's pouring,it doesn't seem to ease,

My wife said,"I want you to water the plants outside please."

"But it's raining cats and dogs out there my dear."

"Then take an umbrella with you and wear the right gear.!"

Later as it rained really hard,I stood at the window looking very sad.

I squealed  "It's raining ,it's pouring,let me in, your driving me mad !!!"

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Larry the cat welcomes Rishi to No10.

The longest resident of No10 is Larry the cat,

Six Prime Ministers he has experienced to give him a pat.

With joy Larry has welcomed Rishi to his new role.

"Purrfect, a future of lobster and caviar in my bowl ."

 

 

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A job for a yob !!!

A rude,noisy and agressive ex-prisoner was Bob,

Fresh out of prison eagerly looking for a job.

A sign,"Man wanted for a robbery ,"he did see,

Excitedly applies,"sounds like the right job for me."

 

 

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He got 12 months !!!

My friend Adam did something that I couldn't believe,

He went into a shop and stole a calendar on new years eve.

He got 12 months .

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