say it was in the stars,

something supernatural led me to you.

say it was the moon

pulling my tides closer to you.

it’s something deeper

than a mere connection.

it’s something in the waiting

& it grows with our knowing.

you can’t put your finger on it.

there’s something there.

some call it ‘love’

but it digs in so much further.

it’s in our details...

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He looks to the left, a quick pause to check the commotion. 
There’s shouting crying out on the street. Stomping boots, 
signs in hand. It’s another day, another protest, nothing to 
worry over. She questions him, “What’s happening?” It 
could be anything or nothing at all. They want attention 
and this is the day they chose to be seen. 

“You should go, I know I would if I could.” She embr...

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Have You Noticed?
after Mary Oliver

have you noticed how certain poems linger 
in the echoes of yesterday 

how certain triggers replay
a certain phrase

how hanging onto words
engulfs an empty room

how walking through fields
begets velvet moonlit nights listening to you

how spinning a record after dropping a needle
births a mountain of longing and sorrow 

have you ever notic...

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I twist in the night, in anger.

I wake in the morning, in anger.

I know the dreams are just dreams 

but the aching is tangible, 

it’s at the forefront that I can’t shake.

It’s too early to feel this way, with holes punctured through the heart. 

A feeling that I’ve been used as target practice.

Congratulations, you’ve won…

You’ve robbed me yet again from waking with the deli...

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he says as it relates 
to a date 
of another first 
we’ve had. 

It reminds me of things 
I shouldn’t hold onto. 

It shouldn’t matter 
when I first noticed 
the way light hits his beard, 
or how his colors blend 
as in a Monet, 
only that I see them. 

It shouldn’t matter 
when those butterflies first flew 
from our insides; 
only that they fly every time. 

It shouldn’t matte...

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I mull over the quietness,
the licking of thoughts
collected and trapped inside,
blocking airwaves.

Only things that escape
are the redirects,
anything to take the focus
off of what can’t be seen.

They’ll have to perform surgery
to get this out of me.

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The way grey hits the wooly fibers across his chin,

like individual spikes of a wheel

poking in multiple directions,

with fusing colors like a Monet.

I graze my fingers through the fibers

like walking through cornfields 

with long and mysterious paths that

lead to depths I long to uncover.

He rests his hands upon his cheek,

pondering his next move

then strok...

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tears fall from the tips of leaves, 
no longer heaving but finally at peace, 
no longer a place for relief, 
no longer bending to the constant breeze, 
no longer kept afloat meandering rivers, 
no longer subject to raging fires, 
no longer a victim to defeat. 

tides no longer pulling at the heart, 
stars no longer hovering above, 
no longer tormented to be part of the world 
that casts...

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in the blaze of the summer heat, drips

of sweat rippled down our smooth skin backs.

we set out for adventure along the Pacific coast,

the four of us squeezed in a compact sedan.

sisters laughing, shouting, nowhere else to be.

engaging winding hair-pin turns, honking,

speeding, and slamming on the brakes

as the afternoon sun scorched the town.

we reveled ...

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the voice comes to me 
as a phantom in a dream. 

as i write 
the voice channels 
from him to me. 

laughter vanishes 
to staring at the sea, 
to the house 
that no longer carries 
his childhood dreams. 

vacanies searching for occupation 
from passing through stations 
to platforms holding onto memories, 
all of it comes to me. 

in my internal screenplay, 
is he the playwright...

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they will never know the stillness, 

the silence, as the world hushes

when the first snowflakes drop out of the sky.

they will never feel the crisp air

or see white blanket the fields

as it does every year.

kept indoors,

safe and warm,

where humidity breathes,

where mist showers from above,

and crawling critters burrow,

where life continues.

under...

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summer days filled 
with dragonfly dreams 

our love, like beach vacationers 
passing by 

retreated 
deep in the night 

we'll remember 
what summer love has done 

in this jaded seaside town 
after the blazing sun has gone down 
nothing remains but tumultuous sea sounds 

like a discarded napkin 
left by a shattered dish, 
love was swept away with the rubbish

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you think you know a guy 

years, months, weeks, 

day in and day out 

conversations exchanged

how things were left unsaid

how we chose or chose not to be

how we hide behind the way we speak

how we say or don’t say

the things we mean

you think you know a guy

and suddenly he’s a stranger

you never knew his thoughts,

never knew the things he’s done,

nev...

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Every Autumn fills
with browns and reds,
yellows and oranges;

Sweeping leaves
and a steady wind
blowing through trees.

Halloween decorations,
candy corn, and costume trials
as little ones prepare

for changes in the air.
Days lead up to celebrating
another trip around the sun,

yet this season is another reminder
of all those years ago
when we lost you.

Years collect dust ri...

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When I think of Carlos, 
a beautiful soul of a man, 
emotional, heartfelt poetry bleeds through 
Tears creep on the brink of every reading 
His hand held over his heart to keep it in 
He makes a mark wherever he goes 
The rhythm of his words flow 
And it leaves you speechless 
All you can mouth is ‘wow…’ 

Pondering over poems to capture what I believe in 
A work of art always in progre...

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it’s been three days 
with clear blue skies 

every morning 
i stand in disbelief; 

there’s nothing to obstruct the view 
nothing to prevent the light from coming through 

so why do i feel at unease? 
because even now, the skies are just a tease

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The heart stops,
stomach drops,
and fear attacks
tearing and scraping the insides.
Stepping back, it’s not the right time.
It’s too delicate; my hands are tied.

I stall. I ruminate. I do all the things not to destroy this.
I dread that I will, gravely… to the point of not moving.
This is what it’s like when people become a ghost.
It’s too much to go forward.
So, I turn
in the opposite...

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the approval has been granted, 
the lift of the travel ban, 
the ticket longed for is now in hand 

three days scheduled 
in glorious summer heat 
with a lover’s heart in waiting 

greeted at the airport 
a loving embrace 
and staring deep into each other’s face 
before a long evening at an outdoor cafe 

between smiles exchanged 
we smooth out spaces 
between places that haven’t 
...

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What I thought I had lost,

a love that would never return,

now fulfills distant dreams-

an unanticipated ecstasy.

But while caught in the midst of it,

how is it that I still think of you?

The one who got so close but still so far away,

the one who buried me deep,

with a voice on repeat,

I can’t seem to make that voice,

or those words, go away.

How is it t...

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Originally published in Clay Literary’s RAVEN: https://www.clayliterary.com/post/raven-issue-seven-08-30-2020

eyes squeeze shut all at once with 
wishes whispered under breaths to be 
anywhere else, anywhere cooler than 

the constant heatwave of near 100 degrees. 
Toes dip into makeshift sandy beaches 
along the city’s river while children 

play in water fountains next to erected sand...

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Originally published in Clay Literary’s RAVEN:https://www.clayliterary.com/post/raven-issue-eight-09-06-2020

A cool October evening presented itself in front of us, 
the full moon in the sky hovered above, and the tension 
between us lent itself to lyrics that resonated to every 

following Autumn. ‘Can I just have one more Moondance 
with you, my love?’ you sang as we walked arm in arm. I...

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Illuminating
Fields of gold stretch far and wide
Hues of orange speckled with pinks and yellows
Underneath an open sky

You live here in the light
While I place shades upon the bridge of my nose
To block the blinding light
And live amongst the shadows

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one step out the door
one step forward
one step closer
to the flood

one step backward
one step in reverse
one step away
from drowning

a punch to the gut
and tears streaming,
more than the smiles
more than the ‘i love you’s

and how many more years like this
how much can i take like this

i agreed to ever after
but this now, these lows
i can do without
i barely survive the cr...

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rip out my insides,

pull out the intestines

from the gut punches bruised,

the heart that heaves

and beats rapidly for thee,

the mind that overthinks

and runs ceaselessly over everything,

pull it all out,

it does nothing for me,

it only runs for you.

my hands were made to hold only you

my arms were made to embrace you

my legs were made to wrap around you

...

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I wish it didn’t sting

when rejection tears apart 

what I’ve poured my heart into, 

hidden emotions or fragments thereof 

painting scenes that tiptoe quietly 

or outright screams. 

I wish it didn’t sting

when he doesn’t think much of me,

but rather holds a love 

kept at a distance that silently breaks 

both of us apart.

I wish it didn’t sting

when corr...

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vibrations reverberating
emitting from within and all around,

complementary yet opposing
reaching higher into the stratosphere,

returning one by one
striking through bone & marrow

which ones do I block out?
which ones do I hold onto?
which ones do I let fall to the ground?

I pick one up in my hand,
hold it close to my ear
as a shell echoes the sea
& let it whisper all its truth...

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soft rolling waves 
brushing the shoreline 
come hurling. warmth

that used to make 
your blood boil makes you 
recoil deeper 

from all that you 
have felt and long to 
feel. digging deep

into the sand 
to push it away, 
you recoil 

into yourself. 
this was not part of 
the plan; moving

to the city 
to be part of the 
scene, only to

find you’re constantly 
sinking.

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sprouting from the underground,

reaching for the light,

messengers of truth 

tell us the news 

spoken dreams 

awaken us now, 

emboldened by our own worth, 

timepieces have reversed 

our covert existence,

like buried keepsakes 

begged for air,

pained to be bare 

our struggles,

spotlight moments in

Hollywood movies; as we weep, 

the only wa...

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Heatwaves radiating across the country,

common occurrences every summer

now occurring every season.

Summer stretches long into Fall,

makes a cameo during Winter

And begins earlier every Spring.

It’s a heatwave, they say.

No, it’s global warming.

No, it’s now called climate change, haven’t you heard?

No, that’s all fake news.

It’s only a heatwave, you see.

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As originally published with Clay Literary's Raven: https://www.clayliterary.com/post/design-a-stunning-blog

‘Neath the blistering heat, California poppies cast

themselves to the hillside sun as wayward children

start to lose their breath, as you now fight for yours,

running to chase the summer blues away.

The young and old all begin to fail; heatwaves

take the lun...

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sing me a song at every chance,

with every glance

capture me with your smile,

make the lyrics repeat in my head,

let your tone send shivers through me,

and when I hear the first notes,

let that song send me back to you.

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It’s a walking numbness, a dull pain  
that sometimes presents itself in waves. 
It slowly builds, and one day, every few weeks it explodes. 
I can’t bring myself out of bed. 
The rolling tears subside for a moment only to build again and again. 
The world outside, and the family inside, doesn’t exist, only what’s happening right here. 
Only this pillow, only this blanket, only the thoughts ...

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peel back the layers when 
you shared the process to the end result, 
you let me in and i mistook the meaning 
of a subtle sign that you let me in to a sacred space, 
seeing what makes you tick. 

a subtle hand holding 
but my dizzy head was lost in lust. 
what else could i trust, but we became 
kindred spirits longing, connecting, becoming. 

walk me back through your streets, your hid...

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sew my eyes shut
tape my mouth closed
board me up in a box
& send me off

attach the postage
drop me off
at the post
don’t open

until i see you there
and i hear you say ‘my love’
and i feel you
next to my warm skin

until then, leave me here

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your hands, your kiss

I have been held and kissed before

but nothing like this

what is it about your hands, your kiss

that makes me believe

that nothing compares to this

I could see into others’ eyes

I could hold someone else’s hands

but I don’t feel their soul like you feel mine

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i started to question the connection

& couldn’t breathe

images mix up in a daydream

that replay constantly 

sometimes a new image appears

did someone change the videotape?

these images and connections aren’t only in my head

but i fear this is only gravy,

a topping or an extra side 

or just a dessert you fancy

it must be deeper

than remembering

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irritating tears-

         a hardening 

before a sense of

         belonging

breaking down waves of

         rebellion

a window

to the heart & soul of: 

trying, sorting,

feeling, fighting,

        howling

unchartered spaces

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the pitter-patter of droplets upon my windowpane 
tap relentlessly 
blowing left & right 
remind me of the storm we once created 
now settled deep into my mind 

oh, to get swept up in your storm 
the intensity of your words 
the passion brewing & spilling over 
the constant wind whipping & striking 
before the longest lull 

most nights i now sit and wait 
for your storm 
to consume...

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Pick up a needle, 
a red piece of thread,  
eye the eye of the needle 
slowly push it through 

Tie a knot at one end 
to make sure it knows where to stop 
push the needle through the fabric 
pull and tug at its end 

In & out, and around again 
stitch after stitch 
just enough to tie the fabric together 
just enough so nothing else gets through 

Our fabric 
threaded together, 
t...

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Shining brighter than the moon 

Shining brighter than the sun

The north star in my sky

Directing me through every night

You paint colors in my mind,

Perfect nights of you and I

We were made for this

We were made for the night sky

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My stomach starts to churn, 
it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you 
and your letter burns 
with an aching that quickly forms swells 
in the corner of my eye; 
I know this feeling all too well. 

My hand reaches for the source 
of the pounding, yet I question myself: 
Why did I stop this river from flowing? 
Responses form that would never greet 
your ears, and never leave my lips....

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distant memories of 

what we no longer are

as our former lives are out the door

how do we move on

and build a passage to tomorrow

when i look up to the skies

and only have the stars

to remind me

the best moments 

are our yesterdays

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Out of the dark corners, 

images of another time 

creep into the forefront 

of my mind.

Images of you and I

mix with the scenery.

Our bodies entwine 

in front of me.

Shining down, 

or seeping in,

blurring the focus 

of what actually broke us.

Layering conversations

our wanting to be held close,

I jump into the frame and breathe us in.

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a convenient state 
a safe distance 
    far away 
    kept cool 
yet close enough 
    to keep warm 
only in touch by one method: 
    a dream 
revived to a slow pulse 
   by whispered words: 
     “It’s all real, just believe. 
         Stay with me.”

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Doublespeak

doubles the crime

of a doubled life

just like the last time

I held you

I have you

but I don’t

I love you

but I don’t

I search for what I’m missing

in between our intense kissing

Stimulating conversations

beautiful words that lift me up

impassioned exchanges

stories with deeper meaning

culture, music, political issues

let’s excha...

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c h o k i n g . . . 

on unfathomable words

      only a hint 

            of something 

 more...

it's not enough, I deserve 

more than this

there's been something

|between the lines|

as we watch 

time 

       s

          l

             i 

                p 

                    by

it's not enough, I deserve 

more than this

wo...

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I am 
         unwell

unfit 

     to be seen
            or heard

clinging to    

             t h o u g h t s . . . 

of you, us

trying to separate

the pieces 

that have been glued 

for too long

unbearable, 

inconceivable 

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A misplaced comma, 

an extra apostrophe,

page numbers missing;

a million little things to fix

that ought not to

take away the aura

of the piece but make me

stop and scream

How reckless

to leave the reader in such a mess

when they should only

focus on the very best

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How many times do we take the leap
Before we realize we’ve jumped in too deep

How many times do we stop to realize 
We need to protect our insides 

How many times does this heart have to break
This love, you too shall take

He was the one,
Healing the deepest scar, 
The wound he created,
Only to tear it open again
As he twists the knife 
Churning everything inside of me

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Chasing sunsets,

The ones that shine brightest

Only to disappear

And return again

But never in the same light

Never seen the same way

These eyes tell me, don’t look away

Before it too is gone too soon

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I’m digging through letters for clues 
For endearments that will fill my cup

They spill over and fall away
As they come in with a rush

Too many to grasp
I pick them up one by one

In hopes to hold onto
Little pieces of you

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Some men only aim to please 
They constantly beg and plead

For you to answer their call
For they need you before they fall

Much deeper into a low
Where all it takes is just one blow

Job into a thousand highs
Or a long sorrowful goodbye 

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A treasure trove
filled with secrets

A lock and key
twirling through fingers

Turning the key
demons spring forth
dancing in the light

Bewildered,
taking in their faces,
their shapeshifter dance,
I sink further into the knowing
and cannot be undone.

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Based on the opening scene of Stardust Memories.

...

The clock ticks in desperation to move us along, to where we belong. 

Our eyes remain forward, no longer looking back. 

The man in seat 2B sobs with tears streaming down his face. He’s left his life in his old place.

I soak in the faces of passengers around me, stern looks all around.

All longing for company, for answers that c...

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Resting his knee,
he holds his face
to bury his sobs
as she is laid to rest

We hold hands
as I gently squeeze
knowing too well 
this may be our last embrace

Feeling his warmth,
his mighty strong hands,
he held us together 
when she left this land

It’s only one slip away 
before you’re gone too soon

On the drive home, 
our last goodbye became true

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How many love letters do I have to write before they are sent
How many hours do I spend and lament
Over the impossible dream
The one that can’t be seen
And more and more it seems
Like it’s never going to be

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The shape of our love, our version of it,
Exists in bubbling thoughts of former lives
And constant dreams of distant hearts
Where our lives are entwined

Ripples of waves intersect
Jetting dangerously close
But never on the same path
Turning heads, looking back

How do we get off this track
Without losing control,
Without knowing
Where it will go

The inhabitants look upon us
Makin...

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Only dew drops now remain 

atop blades from the torrential rain.

The lightning strikes 

lessen in succession.

But the dew remembers 

from where it came.

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The production commenced 
with actors on stage 
portraying the love we once had- 
the grasp of her cheek, 
the look in her eyes, 
as he folded over himself 
to make her swoon his way. 

Amongst an empty crowd, 
the curtain’s now drawn, 
the actors have gone home, 
the final act is done, 
it’s time to get on. 

Hanging on for an encore, 
hoping for another show, 
relishing in the me...

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It was a long summer afternoon
a crackling fire lit the yard
the southern sun was setting
while I strummed my old guitar

It was her way of moving to the music
she captured the glowing cinders in her eyes
she danced with the slightest sway in her hips
and her heavenly body torched my skies

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She comes into the house unannounced

doesn’t bother a quip when asked to speak

slams the door shut

and takes to her room to retreat

Behind the locked door, music blares

her demeanor tells everyone she doesn’t care

her closeted persona is darkness deeper 

than her black eyeliner coupled with black hair

She’s never known love

never been the center of affection

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Images and words 
suddenly appear, 
words longed for 
hitting deep 
as they wrap around 
and envelop me,
overwhelming yet satisfying.

Since our last meeting 
your ghostly presence arrived 
in the oddest of places: 
romantic restaurants, 
quaint cafes, 
art galleries, 
long car drives, 
concert halls, 
walking in a park, 
every room of the house, 
and late at night in bed. 

Da...

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Sitting in a box 

Surrounded by bouquets

Silenced by time

Nailed down 

Motionless

Slipping lower,

It’s too late

For someone to enliven these bones

Engage the masses

It’s time to say ‘goodbye'

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The very machine that gives life
could easily take mine away

The piercing from exhaustion 
punctures my living, my breathing
Every bodily function is affected
as I reach my hand towards the pulsing and thumping 
racing through my chest

I don’t want this to be how I end
I can’t let my kids see their mother this way
I hold on tight to life as I feel my chest tightening 

I sit, 
I br...

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Telepathically, your thoughts race over me

They strike during the early morning hours

It’s that time again

But we won’t talk about that now

We’ll say so much that will fit in

The space between the silence 

But those days where we lit up the sky

We won’t talk about that now

But the fantasies creep in

Some days, or most days,

On what we’ve done behind locked d...

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Gather jumbled up thoughts
jot down some words
numerous adjectives,
superlatives, and delicious nouns

Describe the scene
that can explain
it is certainly this
but it could be better

Conjure up a lost love
hint at a depth of longing,
fulfillment, and regret
but give yourself some credit

Leave readers with faith,
love eventually wins
love yourself enough to see
yo...

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Love bites mark what occurred this week 
Turns out I couldn’t mask the distance between
Ending up with someone else
Added another notch in my belt
But he didn’t mean anything
Because you see 
I was after someone else
My love adventure turned out to be my worst realized dream
Caught between lovers of convenience, lust, and longing 

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Maybe it’s the wrong time

maybe it’s the wrong kind

of love

for you

for you and I

could have anything

But every time I look into your eyes

I get this feeling

this feeling that I just can’t hide

you’ve got me reeling

with that loving feeling

Yet, all those girls chase after you

you’ve learned all their names

you say them so proudly

they respond so...

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Spinning the same song 

that connected us

gets harder to hear.

Each verse cuts deeper 

into what never was, 

what could have been, 

the longing to be near.

With my fingertips crossing your beard, 

your fingers grazing my thighs, 

those longing sleepless nights 

I’ve waited to be alongside 

the one that knew the depth 

of my emotions,

facing eye to eye.

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You set the scene, 
describe it so perfectly; 
what we’ll do 
what I’ll wear 
where we’ll go 
from the first moments of excitement 
to the height of pure ecstasy 

But love, 
it’s a trembling sensation 
that leaves me wanting; 
wanting to lay with you, 
to feel your warmth next to me 

The cool breeze from the window 
attempts to ease 
the burning between us 
but fails as we don’t...

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A writer yearns to tell their story, any story

that will stand the test of time

full of hardships conquered

and inspires generations with hope.

The story shall feel whimsical,

not so much with fairies dancing 

but that there is a happy ending.

The story shall have brevity,

not so much as a long weathered tale

but one that details just enough.

The story shall...

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I’ll walk down to the beach,

see you standing there,

bother you,

and tug on that beard.

I’ll knock you down,

roll around with you through the waves

and land on top.

You’ll have the sand between your hairs,

our bodies wet, 

while watching the sand melt away beneath us.

It’ll melt the distance between us,

it’ll melt away the silence held within,

while we watch the...

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He orders black coffee,

soup and salad,

steak and potatoes

before his apple pie dessert

at buffets on the other side of town

A routine meal

that would years later

be remembered

as his reward

Dad loves on his Alaskan crab legs

with a side of melted butter

While Mom orders chicken

at a seafood restaurant

She doesn’t offer to pay

while Auntie tells ...

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At the end of the day
The rain now steadily falls
I’ve laid here for hours
Waiting for sleep to come
Keeping my mind company,
I’ve put a few records on

Spinning my favorites and laying low,
Leonard, Elliot, Thom, and Isakov,
Each song delivers a blow
Throwing me back to years ago

I’ve laid here in the dark for so long
It’s too much trouble to turn the lights on
My mind is heavy
As...

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The oak tree

Unwavering and sturdy

Tells us how to be:

Don’t break so easily

In the slightest change of wind

Climbing back through my childhood bedroom window

Landing on shards of broken glass

Crimson oozes slowly

As I pray each stab is its last

So much has shaken me since my first landing

Each step taken cuts deeper than the beginning

Looking back 

Th...

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He says, “you’ve been a great lover,

opened up doors for me, 

been there when I needed you

but I’m going to leave you, woman

for I know you could do better than me”

He picks up his suitcase, 

then he’s running out the door

And that’s the way it is

that’s the way it’ll always be

lovers in and out the revolving door

She says, “I’m going to leave this town

s...

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Mr. Tomato, my daughter calls you 

Cute as can be, I laugh it off

But after giving it further thought

She has an idea that might be true:

When squeezed too tightly

Your insides start to fall apart

But I’ll take it,

Maybe even with a slice of toast

Licking my fingertips,

I want to savor every last drop.

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retreat, retreat

settle back down into your cave

retreat, retreat

settle back down into that space you crave

retreat, retreat

no more reaching out for company along the shore

retreat, retreat

no more reaching out for what’s beyond the door

retreat, retreat

the ghost killer haunts each of us

retreat, retreat

stay inside we must

escap...

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Minds meeting
words spoken
stories shared
world is hushed
but inside we are all screaming
waiting for the tomorrows
when our meetings will be filled with embraces,
with kisses,
with reading a silent stare
and we will know what they mean
not just from a frozen screen
but for a reflection of all time

We are all waiting for the tomorrows
we will no longer meet in solitude
but a meetin...

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Your hand slips into mine, 
the fortune-teller notices 
our smiles with glittering eyes
she’s convinced 
there’s a future between us
she smiles & invites us in

Laying down cards one by one 
it reveals the betrayal and secrets
that will keep us
from the love that has swept us into a whirlwind 

We turn to each other stunned
but a laugh begins, 
she replies, “Sorry, no refunds”

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My insides are frantic
Red hot and rebellious 
Toiling and pacing 
Until we can find an end
Searching for peace
A single breath
That’s what it might take
Or a walk
Deep into the forest
Silence lingers 
Without answers
And without a sound
Of anyone around,
I scream
And let it all out

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Sleeping soundly, 

his arms wrapped 'round me 

while I lay dreaming 

it’s you that rouses my sleep 

I wake startled 

you’ve returned again 

with flashes between 

two moments, 

a mere eyeblink away 

The things that can’t be  

those lost & found memories 

between moments of today

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stone cold heart

eyes down

I don’t feel the need anymore

to pretend this is going anywhere 

coming in the door

with the latest news from your day

I half listen and nod

while preparing the kitchen

late at night while in bed

you reach over for

just a little tenderness

while I turn away

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Two lone souls 

believing they stand out in the crowd

do they really

or are they the same as everyone around

they feel like they're special, profound

no one must feel the same

but they do,

they all want to be loved

they're all searching for the one

Yet there isn't only one for you

there are quite a few

as they've slowly come in and out of view

this one here...

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Every year

In her own time

She comes

Our moments are brief

But this I can rely on

Her scent is sweet

Her beauty exquisite

O, how I long for the days

When our eyes finally meet

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The more you know

the less you want to know

some things get uncovered 

drawn out into the open

ugly wounds

that have been wrapped up for years

bruises that haven’t healed

scars so deep

they don’t know how to be normal again

pleading and begging

’Oh, to be anything I’m not

but please, don’t ignore me

see me for who I am

unfiltered and true’

But my eyes are ...

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Late at night 
Lying in bed
Headphones on
Listening to music
Or a few recorded poems
Reading the latest 
I attempt to craft a new one
Or brush up a draft not quite finished

It’s becoming routine
I’ve always been
An undercover poet
Now I’m sharing my words 
With my family’s support as an added bonus

Shared are the happenings,
The disappointments,
The contests never won,
Submissi...

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I drove down to see you
stood in your doorway unannounced
you were there with another
I again felt like an outsider
I didn’t belong
after I wrote you at length
many love songs

My poems wrapped in a box
delivered but only to be forgotten
my heart still in shock
you were going away
never to be seen again
until the month of May
when I would fly thousands of miles
just to see that smil...

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Those three little dots appear

The excitement, elation, and wonder in what could happen after those thoughts form into words 

If only I could burst those bubbles lIke hitting a pinata at a kid's birthday party 

Sweet things would come pouring out of those bubbles

Those pesky three little dots appear, disappear, and reappear

Over and over again

They haven't made up their mind

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I stand in front of a crowd
I’ve prepared for this night
I speak of you, us
I sing of you
The stories describe how we loved
And then how you left, 
How your ghost tormented me
And left my heart a wreck

I’m done crying over you
And hurting
Over and over again
Our story is done
Finally at night
My peace has come 

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I’ve drowned, too

trying to stay afloat

swimming in those eyes of ocean blue

navigating through hypnotic moves

and poetic words

that make you feel

he only has eyes for you 

But in truth,

you’re another hole

he’s been trying to fill

another escape

to let his mind erase

the truth within

“Was I Just Another One?”

https://youtu.be/L4Za51_upTU

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It was all so close

Was it just a dream for us to walk along the Thames

Was it all in my head that we’d walk along the Seine

To breathe in the spring flower beds

To wrap ourselves in the warmth of our kisses

The breeze would flow through my hair

The sun would shine brightly in our eyes

The energy would flow rapidly between us

But we’d say nothing at all

For we’d kno...

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I’m reaching out for something new

These eyes of mine fell upon you 

As you came walking into view

Now I’m searching my soul on what to do

Hanging on for something new

Waiting for something that’s true

Days go by, my mind’s still stuck on you

I get lost in your eyes 

My words they disguise

But I’m deep in thought on every account about you

Miles and mil...

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All the words to say
The sad ones
The lonely ones
The happy, grateful ones
The mad ones
The ones that circulate through you 
But never leave your lips
They rage out onto paper 
For all to read
But the ones closest to you
Will never see
These words escape you effortlessly 
Words poured out late at night
Words splayed out for others in the light of day
Words that others will relate
Wo...

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Is it better to have a love lost

Not knowing about the other side

To have a deep hole in your heart 

To keep what was lost in the past

And always wonder ‘what if’

Or to have it come back,

Haunt you

And realize it was true

Always has been

And he’s thinking of you, too

With thousands of miles away

You both have commitments

There’s no future

Only the p...

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You push your way on us

it's your way or be doomed 

be ready to face the feelings

of loneliness and confusion

but your way doesn't make sense

to me

Why must you, 

must we, 

live through these trials

and left feeling so childish

It'll all blow over soon

but you'll never apologize

you won't know how to see it through

I'll have to learn to forget

be...

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My heart has been calling

for something new.

Do you think

it would make a difference

if it's me or you

who makes this move?

This here is all that matters

Let it be that simple for once

Let’s spread love all around

Let’s take on the world unafraid

Nothing can stop us now

Just listen,

you'll hear me sing.

Don't worry,

leave your cares behind.

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A sea of red lights

cars stopped

sitting

the hours of rush

is all hurry up 

and wait

they race against each other 

only to be home alone 

or tucked away with their lovers

they spent all day

dreaming of their escape 

now they must wait

a brief pause

the reason

the cause

only too much

in the way

between 

them

and

what they long to see

[a...

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The pattern repeating 
clicking here and there 
looking for an update or reply
or something I needed to say 
except it’s gone too soon 
like the fading of the day 

The truth is I had a lot to say 
countless conversations 
despite they’ve all been in my head 
I’ve said all that I needed to 
so now it’s out of the way

We’ve talked about the books we’ve read, 
the music we’ve heard, 
...

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Yesterday I stood there
in shine of the sun 
with blue skies above
walked a few feet ahead 
with my furry friend
the clouds quickly darkened,
and rain followed suit

Without an umbrella, I tugged at his collar 
but the voice in me rang to “get lost in the pouring rain” 
knowing my limits, we turned and home we went.

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Heartbeats a flutter
hundreds of thoughts a minute
but not a word can I say
wrapped up 
sitting across from you 
just inches away
sitting counting the beads wrapped around my wrist

This is killing me
make a move
say something
to prove
there's a reason 
why we're here

[2016]

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Watching you grow 
brings joy to our eyes
You’ve got your Daddy 
to make you smile 
and your Mama 
to hold you tight 
while you sleep at night 
we'll make everything alright

First a crawl, walk, then run
O, to watch you grow is so much fun 
From your first skinned knee
a little kiss will make you believe 
we’ll be right here whenever you need

Years will pass
but this love will al...

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We met there in the bar
most nights
the same drink
the same table
conversing over troubles
we leaned on each other 
in those long nights 

This night
I sit and wait
at the same table
with the same drink
you hadn’t arrived yet
and I linger for hours
wondering 

Nights like this pass
was it something I said
was there someone new
what was it keeping you

Then you arrive one night...

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How many times does it cross your mind

Maybe a thousand times 

I’d rather have you near

Than only have your poems reciting in my ear

Sure, they comfort me

But most days and nights I need you miserably

And those heartbreaking songs

They make me feel like we belong 

Despite the truth of our existence 

I wish to be in your presence 

So here’s another love poem

Wr...

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There’s a connection 
A brief flirt
And before you know it
We’re going crazy over each other’s words
The list of reasons confirms you won’t be good for me
But it’ll make for some good poetry

We fool around, lift each other up
Take a drink from the lover’s cup
But watch out,
Don’t get in too deep
Remember this is only for the poetry

We circle around crazy ideas
The two of us in a be...

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Spiraling down a dark hole
no way out
no way to return 
from where I've come

Sucked in by the force
matter dissolving all around
and I, too, 
disappear

I've seen all,
experienced all 
that I need to
I'm going through without regrets, 
not looking back
This is who I am now
I fade to black 

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Walking down Lovers Lane on that cool October evening 
We stopped and lingered there
Stood only inches apart
There wasn’t anything more to say
I wasn’t one for small talk anyway 
We both knew what we wanted
I asked that fateful question,
‘What are you waiting for?’
You kissed me
All I can remember is that time stood still
I lost my breath 
I lost feeling in my legs
I crashed to the gro...

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Songs of love and happiness
Erase all my feelings of sadness
Wipe away these tears 
And all my fears 
Nothing but blue
When I'm living with you
Nothing but blue 
When I'm listening to you,
My songs of sadness 

When I wake in the morning
You’re the first thing I want to hear
Start my day with you ever so near
Songs close to my heart
May we never part
I listen to you,
My songs of sa...

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Let me help you flip the switch
Scratch that itch 
that’s been burning 
For some time we’ve been yearning 
for each other
Under the moonlight
we reach for a lover
that’s been like no other

I’ve longed to hold you,
to have you close to me
to feel you envelop me
to have our hands intertwine
to graze my fingers across your body and across your lips
to rest my hand on your cheek
to loo...

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Sitting in the sun
Soaking up the warmth 
Staring out into the distance 
Hoping that something will change
Every time I’m in the light

With the rustle of leaves
And birds flying by
Whistling to their mates
Signaling Spring is here
Everything finally feels right

[Feb 2020]

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I place my hand on hers and I rub her back,

I sit there and listen,

But I can't give her anything back,

All she wants is to find someone who understands her,

But I do understand, completely, 

And a love I cannot return,

Because I'm not made the same way 

I don't have the same desires as she does,

My world is different.

And so, it is what it is,

Two lonely people ...

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I saw your face after 8 months of absence

Could have avoided it by taking another path

But I pressed on

Faced the challenge

Saw your smile

And I felt nothing

No joy

No pain

No love

Only the regret that I gave you more than you ever deserved

I relived the moment a hundred times

I could have said so many things 

I could have taken the high road and be pleasan...

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Meet me in the rain

So I can explain

The sun’s gone 

And it’s been too long

I look at your pictures on the wall

I shouldn’t keep them up for too long

I miss the sound of you down the hall

So I avoid the sound of you at all

It’s as if the flood gates of heaven opened up from God’s weeping

Deep down I know it wasn’t you I should be keeping

[2016]

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A honk and a wave,

a smile greets you

not able to place the face

but you comply

exchange greetings

then she questions your well-being

Scrolling through the latest developments 

you pick an appropriate response,

‘I’m hanging in there. Happy Thanksgiving.’

She returns with the same, 

then disappears into the sea of lights

She is too kind

this is not the ...

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Echoing words through my head

Of all the sweet things that you said

Of times and memories of what we used to do 

Just a little thing to see me through

My dear, it's clear 

We aren't what we used to be

My dear, I fear

That’s the way it’s supposed to be

Blurred lines are once again made clear

It’s you with her

And me with him

That’s the way it should be in ...

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To surround yourself with artists
You discover you’re not stuck to this game,
There is more than just poems of pain;
Lustful nights,
The political daily life,
The chaos of family,
The bounty is aplenty.

Like the ocean explorer covering uncharted territory,
The poet must explore the deeper meaning of life.
We’re all alike,
We seek the truth;
In it we see the real you.

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Dear Donny says we need more comedy
WoL isn’t what it ought to be
Well, you may have heard that comics are known to hide their troubles
To make others laugh
While their life is actually in strife
They complain others are all too serious, 
too much doom and gloom
They’d rather make it a sideshow
Well, move aside, 
make some room
There’s plenty for both of you
After all, after a good cry,...

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Waves crashing

in and out

up and down

pushing and pulling

A knock on the door

beating louder and louder

waking my fibers

restless and unrelenting

Louder it knocks

heartbeat pulsing

anxiety levels rising

these fears in me won't subside

Breathing in and out

imagining the waves 

the calming waters 

I am one with them

and how they rise aga...

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Standing out by the water
I see you’re alone
Do I care 
to bother you
or should I leave you
with your thoughts,
let you decide 
if this is what you want
Will you come to me
or do I beg you to stay
in this space
I can see it written
all over your face
You’re in too deep,
taking steps back with a ‘wait and see’
Let me know how that works out
There's no need to scream and shout 
I’ll...

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I step out into the darkness
with the sky lit above me
The orb has reached its full potential 
and I am reminded of the beauty around me
The twinkling above is the same as it’s always been
but much brighter than I’ve allowed myself to see
Somewhere out there under the same sky
you’ve been thinking of me
and I can finally breathe again 

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As little girls plucking petals one by one reciting,
“He loves me, he loves me not,”
all love and happiness rested on the count of those petals.
If an even number, the girl is bitterly disappointed.
While an odd count surely takes her over the moon with his undying love for her.
If only as adults that love and happiness would be so definitively decided as with the pluck of a petal.

https:/...

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Getting lost in your deep blue eyes
I simply forget everything else
This is our fantasy, our escape
and there is life outside these four walls

Our wants extend us to stay a little longer
We’ve been waiting for this day 
and it’s too soon to walk away

I’d rather have my time 
with your body next to mine
I’d rather have my time 
getting to know each piece of you, my partner in crime

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Without hesitation I drop you a line
Hours later in time
I wait for your reply
Thinking what will it be
And hoping for you to excite me

I’m thinking of you
And wish it would be true
That you’ve been thinking of me, too

My pulsing and racing heart
Awaits the day we’re sprawled out in the sheets
And please, let us be
Like we dream it will be

With our salty, sweet dreams of our bodi...

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One by one counting memories:
an old photograph of us at the beach,
a sweater that won’t rid itself of your scent,
books and CDs that you lent,
I’ve packed them away
They won’t see another day

I’ve packed the boxes, 
made the plans,
the rooms are empty
but I am motionless

Is it that familiar look?
Is it the morning glow
that paints itself through the window?
No, it’s the memories ...

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The darkness finally comes

after a long battle

Two ships sail pass

this ocean blue

Sailing past each other

into the sunset

Keeping my eyes on the blue

it's all I can see

There are no ships for me

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I’m not the man for you,
this is true
but does your man, Henry,
make you tremble like I used to?
Does he do things to you like I used to?

He may look nice in his suit
and treat you to dinner
but does he deliver?
Does he cross your mind late at night?
Does he give you butterflies?
Does he bring you your favorite flowers?

I was too much of a coward
I should have loved you
I should h...

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These are my characters
Some of them have affairs
Some of them are drowning
While gasping for air
There’s a hint of something there
That may never be
Nothing more 
Than a simple connection between you and me

These characters have flaws,
That is true
These characters may seem similar 
But trust me, 
They’re not based on you

These characters are simply fragments of feelings 
Fragme...

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All these years

I put too much into the hopes

Of finding someone who will give me all things I want,

All things I need

Give me music

Give me poetry

Give me love

Give me everything I need

But the voice inside keeps on,

No one can love you like you need

No one is all things true

No one out there is all for you

No one can be all you need

You give ...

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The rain falls

My soul weeps

Masquerading

All the secrets that we keep

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You called out to me

said you wanted me

felt for me

as I started to feel for you, too

It could be so easy

just as 1-2-3

maybe in another lifetime

I’d be with you, too

Maybe we don’t have to wait

you’ve got me now

you’ve got me here with you

I’d love you just the same

It could be so easy

just as 1-2-3

if it were another lifetime

I’d be wit...

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He looks to me

but he doesn't see me

He talks to me

but he doesn't hear me

He's in front of me

but we're a million miles apart

Our hearts are beating to a different tune

Everyone thinks it'll be fine soon

Just open up and tell him 

It'll be okay,

This too shall pass

but it won't,

it will last and last...

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A lonely boy in a sea of lonely nights 

in that last hour of the day

capturing words he wishes he had said

writing them down

so they’re out of his head

Music fills the air

soothing the tension

lessening the cares

Take a trip to the other side: 

what makes the other person tick,

what makes them come alive,

what’s in their head they’re trying to hide

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Poets pour their heart and soul

into every poem recited

pulling from the depth of emotions

grabbing you by the heart

kicking you around

tossing you aside

feeling broken but alive

your heart soars

waiting to hear more

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After the kids go off to bed

And the one lying beside you confirms that romance is dead

Longing to be desired,

Aching for a spark, 

A resemblance of burning fire

Each of you knows something is missing

Nights are better spent kissing

But it’s a long empty night

There isn’t relief in sight

All that can be said is:

Our romance is dead.

(For all the married couple...

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Looking up at the clouds so high

Watching colors stretch across the sky

As they combine and spread apart gracefully

An ever-changing work of art slowly slips by

As the sun first wakes

Golden hues are painted on the tips

I’m struck by the beauty

How lucky I am to be a witness

As the sun slowly dances across the sky

The image changes as clouds come and go

Feat...

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Under your shelter from the storm

walking side by side

hands touching

reaching for a mutual target

hesitating to be too close

disregarding boundaries

There’s a sigh of contentment

my head rests on your shoulder

and this feels good

this feels like home

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Bandages ripped off

feeling raw

feeling exposed

not sure where this goes

You know too much

can’t hide it anymore

you want more than to touch 

the deepest parts of me

I’m falling deeper into you

where do we go

what do we do

when I just want to be close to you

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It’s Sunday morning

I run down to the park

We lock eyes while you’re strolling by

Electricity ignites deep inside

Do I stop

Do you dare say hello

Do we say anything at all

So much we want to say

So much we want to do

So much we’ve longed for

To only have this passing moment

Let’s not waste it

Wondering ‘what if’

Let’s not go another day without...

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My expectations are high

I want to find a love that will lift me to the sky

I’ve got this crazy idea in my mind

You’ll be the love I’ve been hoping to find

but you’re just a guy

destined to make mistakes

We give and we take

along the way

We hope for something more

but this is all we’ve got

I’m just a girl

and you’re just a guy

We’re both hoping for a love t...

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My war stories

My love scars

If only you knew, what would you do

Would it help you know me

Do you want to know me at all

Do you care to share your stories

Or do you want to keep them safe

Do you want to show your cards

Or keep them close to your heart

Let’s bare them all

We have this space

We’ll be safe

No harm can be done 

That hasn’t been done bef...

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So feeble

we fumble

bodies tangling, intertwining

we get lost in the moment,

in the rush

drifting off to our own space

No time like the present

we’re looking for answers in the pouring rain

If you could get by

for one night

without looking for the answers

If you could

for one night

love me just the same

Everybody needs something

to j...

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Worst thing about New Year’s Eve,

being a romantic

but no one to love you the way you need

I’m holding back the urge to walk away

I’m holding onto responsibilities, 

accepting my fate

Oh, will you please think of me

when you’re kissing your lover

send your positive vibes,

your good thoughts,

your shout outs,

send me a love I’d not want to live without

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