I can not depend on my moods, 
This is why I depend on food.
Good days, bad days, the pain stays,
The food I eat takes me away.

I used to be fat and then went slim,
Now the fat creeps back in.
Self esteem is what I lacked,
Food is slowly making me fat.
The mirror is no friend of mine,
The image I see is not mine. 

The dismal day portays my mood,
and then 'BOOM' I run back to food.
...

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I don’t necessarily want to be like you

There are times when you drive me up the wall!

I thought I wanted to be friends with you

I thought that we were something that we we're not

The reason is that I want to be like you, not that I want you

I want to be able to turn my phone over when someone calls

I want to be had a look away and ignore that “ting”

I want to put myself first...

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hurting, melting, head caving
my head so broke inside
trying to hold it together
but i feel so far from fine

suffocating, shaking, heart racing
my body responds in fear
trying to reason with myself
though it doesn't help it clear

aching, receding, soul's numbing
my mind is shutting off
trying to hold onto reality
but i feel so very lost

falling, stalling, chest pounding
my soul'...

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Filament burns,

fingers touching static glass.

Drunk with self-depreciating guilt

as eye's tap dance

in unison to a scripted feeling.

Ink tracing those familiar lines

cliched by experience.

this time with a heavier hand...

forged through fear,

now's the time to be brave...

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Tick, Tock.

Look at the clock.

Wait seven seconds.

Look at the clock.

Wait seven seconds.

Look at the clock.

Wait seven seconds.

Look at the

Wait---

Tip, Tap.

Each finger raps the desk.

Once then twice then thrice.

Each finger raps the desk.

Once then twice then thrice.

Each finger raps the desk.

Once then twice then thrice.

Each finger

Once-...

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the cobra

                  w

                      r

                        a

                     p

                 s

                    its tail around my neck

its name is

                     anxiety.

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I lay on a hard mattress curled in the foetal position,

wrapped in a chrysalis of darkness.

A fancy metaphor could not explain the meaning of life,

it had simply become irrelevant.

I had become so skinny that my skin was pulled

guitar string taut over aching bones,

that doctors had threatened to hospitalise me.

But now, allergic to life, my skin peeled at the thought of being.

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lying in the bath, curled in a daze

staring at my hand, ring finger twitching

eyes losing focus, antipsychotics sedating

right foot twitching, clinically agitated

stomach protruding, appetite increased

screams of bubbles bursting, whispers intruding

scent of my body, artificial strawberry

ignore the shouts, but they hurt me

mountains of bubbles, naïve body purifying

pray...

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The Many Faces of Spirit Wind 

I told the lion in me to quiet down cause it had a loud roar 

The environment I was in encouraged me to let it out 

But I was not ready to explore 

A side of me that had red eyes and was engulfed in flames 

Cause I didn’t learn how to tame 

And maintain that energy 

So I kept quiet as the I let the hyenas pass me around 

Letting the fire burn 

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You try to escape the demons

But they latch on way too tight,

Their claws digging into my body

And mind, with all their might.

Fighting is exhausting,

It physically and mentally drains.

But still I endure it, hoping

One day I will finally escape the pain.

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I'm sitting here, trapped, frozen in time

Head imploding, finally losing my mind

Nowhere to run, bound and confined

To the prison within, my unconscious mind.

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Each day, more exhausting than the last.

Time goes far too slowly, or too fast.

you're either extremely low, or elevated.

People either love you, or you're hated.

There is no middle ground

- no inbetween.

Everything is one extreme.

you're either Jekyll or you're Hyde.

It is a never ending fight.

You're a walking contradiction ,

With no explanation,

No cha...

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Every moment to fear,

Forever holding back internal tears.

Life- so complicated,

forever indecisive.

The world too big, too scary,

my mind so full of queries.

Never certain, never happy,

each decision could be deadly.

An escapes impossible,

every outcomes implausible.

Sinking under water,

Always being taken for a martyr.

The pain runs so deep,

Barely able to ...

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I wear a mask every day of my life,

It causes me pain & stress,

It makes my life such a chaotic mess,

I wish this mask would lift,

However, nevertheless, it’s a part of me.

I wear the mask of lies,

There are so many things in my life, that I am in denial to myself,

I wear this mask, it causes me to feel torn,

My eyes are broken,

They make me see such things like a u...

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Hello.

I have just written a blog on Poetry and Mental Health for the literary magazine Under the Fable. 

I'd love for it to get more than the usual 14 views, they are a small magazine and could use some exposure. 

More over, I'm quite proud of the piece and would like to know what others think.

It can be found here.

medium.com is awful for formatting but the words should speak for ...

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