THE SHIP THEY CALL 'ALZHEIMER'S'

Hello my friend, welcome aboard

The ship they call 'Alzheimer's'

There's forty thousand under sixty-five

'Young onset' to 'Old timers'

It doesn't matter what you call it

The umbrella term's 'Dementia'

On the ship they call 'Alzheimer's'

Every day's a new adventure

Forget your hip replacement

And your osteoarthritis

They we...

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MY FRIEND GINNY

You're a nice sensation when you are on my lips

I love to touch you with my fingertips

I like the feeling when you are going down

You say nothing, and you never frown

You're tall, slim and as cool as ice

When you touch my cheek it's very nice

Oh love is blind, yet I can see

You're my favourite G and T

Oh my, my, my, my G and T

How I love you ...

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My thoughts on paper hour after hour

When I lie in bed or in the shower

I do it all so you can glower

I'm the insignificant Poet

I stand up here and on my own

Hearing every sigh and groan

Whilst you sit and play on your mobile phone

I'm the insignificant Poet

I write it daily, profound and deep

Words to make you laugh or weep

Inspired whilst you were fast as...

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Oh President Barack Obama
'Dodgy Dave' might think you're a charmer
There to be seen
At the 'gig' for the Queen
So have some of this Instant Karma

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The advice comes from everywhere

The 'Spin Doctors' getting bolder

With lots of little anecdotes

To stop us getting older

So read it, take it all on board

You don't want any grief

Two minutes a day is all it takes

For you to floss your teeth

Two minutes hopping on each leg

"It's so good for the hip"

Where the hell does that come from?

It makes me wan...

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From Facebook came a Croc of Shit

To read and click and share

No longer I'll put up with it

Accused that I 'don't care'

"Share this if you have a heart"

"If you 'like' please type 'Amen'"

It stinks more than a day old fart

To read this shit again.. again.. again

I don't care if you send a curse

Wrath of God and all his might

One Direction would be worse

A...

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Scheming, thieving, scumbag bum

Smack head, crack head, someone’s son

A knife, a life, a dealer’s gun

Only mugs do drugs and call it fun

There’s ‘H’, 'Meow' and rocks of 'Crack'

There’s ‘E’s and ‘Speed’ and ‘Blow’

There’s ‘Browns’ and ‘Blues’, a bag of ‘Smack’

So cool and good to go

Come get your fix, it’s such a must

Steal the money from your Mum

Your Dad’s...

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Decaying corpses, unique stench
With cordite blowing, past our trench
I no longer hear the warning rattle
But smell and taste impending battle

In the distance sounds a Lewis Gun
Maybe aimed at some unlucky Hun
So far in front of our barbed wire
Amongst the brown serrated mire

The Corporal said this place was ‘Wipers’
Mud and blood and German Snipers
The Sergeant Major called it Ypres
...

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I heard 'King Arthur' on the 'mike'

In a place that they called Orgreave

Fronting Miners out on strike

Urging them all to 'Believe'

He told them it was "Coal not Dole"

Said Thatcher was a clown

And every Miner has a role

To take the Tories down

From Notts. and Derby and the Met

Cleveland, Avon and Somerset

After their luncheons

Drew their truncheons

On...

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There's mist on the Menai

There's geese in the sky

There's snow on the Mountains

As the mist rolls on by

It runs from the Swellies

To the Irish Sea

The mist on the Menai

Majestic and free

From the banks of the Briant

To Caernarfon's great ramparts

To the edge of the Llyn

Hear the Waders and Redstarts

There's mist on the Menai

Not a cloud in the sky

Th...

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LIFE

Life is just a four letter word

Sometimes it can be so absurd

Like the broken window that just occurred

By the stone that’s thrown by the teenage nerd

Through bloodshot eyes with a vision blurred

Afraid to speak because his voice is slurred

And if he did it wouldn’t be heard

Through the itchy teeth and the tongue that’s furred

Through too much bread and lemon c...

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(This poem is dedicated to the select members of the S.A.S. .... Surfers Against Sewage)!

I’m just swimming in Portreath

Just going through the 'motions'

A large environmental car thief

Made of a thousand witches potions

I’ve streaming eyes and raspy throat

A throbbing head and aching ear

The only safe place is a boat

I’d never write “Wish you were here!”

...

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My eyesight’s going

My nasal hair is growing

And my hair now looks so grey

My knees are creaking

My elbow joints are squeaking

And my voice won’t work today

As I sit down on the tiles

It’s not good for my piles

And I start to really feel my age today

My back it sometimes aches

My favourite meal is now Corn Flakes

No one cares about what I might have ...

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Majestic flames

Yellow to ochre

Leaping sparks

Out of Hades

Aimless spark, Oh

Delightful ember

Of Lilliputian beauty

Fragrance akin to

Burned incense

On hot charcoal

Lovingly

Lying low, in state

On the Tuareg

Carpet of dreams

Kaleidoscopic flames enhance

Subtle shades

(C) Daniel Dwyran

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Liquer in the front

Poker in the rear

You can go down to the pub

If you only want a beer

.........I'll get my coat!  ;)

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The dirty dark blue overcoat

Had long since seen a better day

A hard life, over sixty years

Has him set in his own way

Guardian of suburban parkland

Where all the Children play

The eyesight of a shithouse rat

From the days when he wore khaki

Remembers Dunkirk and it’s beach

Queuing up still makes him narky

The Kids know not to mess with him

Because He’s the Lo...

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A native American, Hawkeye the Noo

Emigrated to Scotland in '72

He loved deep fried Mars bars and the odd Irn Bru

But now he knows not what to do

The mountains and plains were a wonderful yardstick

As his ancestors populated desert to Arctic

But Hawkeye he settled for a wigwam in Partick

But now he knows not what to do

He's always been proud to call Scotland his h...

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I’ll gather the Cockles from Red Wharf Bay

Best soaked overnight in salt water they say

Then boil them in water that is fresh from the tap

Then simmer, five minutes, they open no crap

A bowl with some milk and the Cockles go in

Then stir with your hand like they’re having a swim

Remove and then place them in self-raising flour

Once coated, then sieve. This starter’s ...

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Oh how I miss the Northern Charm

Builders' Tea and Bacon barm

Pie ’n’ peas and Cheshire cheese

Drivers that stay calm

People speak without a plum

Ecky thump and ee by gum

Tripe and Onions, Granny’s bunions

Boddies Bitter bites yer bum

Cheshire cats the grinning mousers

Tacchini wearing scally Scousers

West Pennine shower, Blackpool Tower

Our backyard and ...

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Suncream, Sandwiches, Sea and Sand

Warm sheltered rock-pools on the beach

This British green and pleasant land

Where Donkeys'  poo and Seagulls' screech

Grandad’s hanky on his head

His rosy cheeks a shade of peach

His Daily Mirror long since read

Where Donkeys' poo and Seagulls' screech

Grandma’s at Bingo every night

Her handbag with her like a leech

Her rol...

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"Unload!.... safety catch, pouch, magazine off..

(From the range we smell the scoff)

"Clear, ease springs"

The Sergeant sings

Time to queue up at the trough

There's nothing quite like the old 'Range Stew'

Two rounds of bread with a nice hot brew

From the mess tin

I'm not jestin'

Made by chefs who have no clue

Soft boot shuffle with your mate

No place here...

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There was a fight down at the beach today

Much to my horror and surprise

A large crowd stood there watching it

I could not believe my eyes

I saw a man who had a stick

Proceed to beat his wife

Blow on blow and on her head

To an inch within her life

The frenzied crowd just screamed for more

With a loud and raucous din

I got there as the Police turned up

And...

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Oh wondrous River Avon

Gurgling gently and so free

Dissecting Bradford-upon-Avon

On through Wiltshire to the sea

See the lanterns, hear the children

Watch their parents smile with glee

Once the festival has started

Please do not look for me

I'll be in the —anal Tavern

Hoping they've replaced the 'C'!

There is less than a week to go if you want to enter.

...

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His Mother makes them both a snack

Jamal, he sits out in the back

Upon an empty old rice sack

Flip-flops and bottle tops

In Gaza, fun for girls and boys

Are simple things that make no noise

For Jamal they're his favourite toys

Flip-flops and bottle tops

He plays outside in rubble dust

His Mother smiles and is not fussed

It's safer there but only just

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Here's to all Performing Ranters

The whoopers', and the waving panters

Stuff academics licking asses

Scowling through rose-tinted glasses

Before I get my recompense

What is a 'Poet in Residence'?

A girl who writes

Lives in a tent

Is she a  'Poet With Intent'?

Let's have a workshop.

Make a bid

Then charge the punters all five quid

Liquid lunch and ...

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Five years and nine months

Can you tell what it is yet?

It's not long enough

So whilst on 'A' Wing

Bend down to pick up your soap

Whilst in the shower

No 'Two Little Boys'

Just 'Jake the Peg's middle leg

Summary justice

A didgery-doo

Try your Kangaroo court sport

It's coming to you

Then why no remorse?

Banged up at portrait's pleasure

L...

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The cheesecloth dress, Doc Marten boots

Tie-dye shirt and beads

Slightly dippy, Habitat Hippy

Bags of sunflower seeds

Roedean Ladies, cultured accent

No stranger to the Hilton

Full-time work, likes to smirk

In the summer goes to Pilton

Not for her the great unwashed

She finds them “Oh so creepy!”

Vegetable matter, and a warm ciabatta

Plus a duvet in her T...

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The Sun rose up and from the East

Warmth spread out on the hill

It melted frost, warmed birds and beasts

In Llanfairpwllgwyngyll

Fluffy clouds they ruled the sky

The air had a slight chill

So nice and fresh, left steamy breath

In Llanfairpwllgwyngyll

Hanging baskets on the walls

Cobwebs on the 'cill

The Platform’s shorter than the sign

In Llanfairpwl...

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It's the World Cup in Brazil in two thousand and one four

I’ve fed and bathed the kids and they’re in bed

He's late back from the pub, just like a hundred times before

England play today and something that I dread

I know that England, if they win, they'll all be celebrating

He'll bring back cans of beer and fish and chips

I've  prepared myself for later and a 'bout' of drunk...

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I flash back to the Seventies

Tank tops, flairs and glad rags

Boys tanked up on Strongbow

Girls danced ‘round their handbags

The Unions’ ran our Country

Power cuts blacked out our Street

Smelly Bogs and Diamond Dogs

Ballroom Blitz and Tiger Feet

Jackson 5 and Motown

Trojan, Stax and Northern Soul

Football terraces ran with blood

The workforce on the dole

I ...

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GLASTO IN MY GARDEN

I stared up at the silver Moon
A weekend at the end of June
Solstice gone, now here so soon
I've got Glasto in my garden

Had no chance to get a ticket
Put my tent up, near the thicket
Nice fresh air, you just can’t lick it
I've got Glasto in my garden

I’ve got some “grass”... with clover in it
I’ve got some “pot”... with a plant stuck in it
I’ve even got “shit”...

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