I sit outside a bank appealing for loose change,

I'm looked down upon as if something strange.

People pass as if I am not there,

Avoiding even giving me a glare.

Unfortunately there are many of us on the street,

Getting something in my cup is quite a feat.

Yesterday was tough I was soaked to the skin,

But ended up with a cup with something in.

Eight quid in change...

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Bobby was sat on a bench feeling very sad,

With holes in his shoes and very poorly clad.

It was three years since his dad had died,

The family of five struggled,but his mum  cared and really really tried.

She worked nights at the hospital,her wage didn't go very far,

They lived on the breadline.walked everywhere didn't have a car.

His three sisters had made their mum a gift ...

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The first Hyndburn Tory win since 1992,

Congratulatios Sara ,well done  you !

What a future you have in store,

Representing your constituents and only 24.

A young mind fresh and keen.

Injecting your ideas into the Parliamentary scene.

A woman with your compassionate touch,

There to represent us and do so much.

It will be a pleasure to watch you progress,

Helpin...

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Sammy was a spider,webs he loved to spin,

Constantly trapping  insects to feed his kith and kin.

Sammy had eight eyes but no neck or head,

Those eyes spotted his prey and kept him well fed.

One day those eyes filled with desire and led to female flaunting,

The female was much bigger than him,mating was quite daunting.

The sexual encounter Sammy did satisfyingly complete,

...

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Jim's grandad left him the contents of his house in his will,to be fair.

Jim on leaving home was desperately in need of the kitchenware.

Jim loved cooking and one evening invited his friends round,

I'm glad I visited him that day and luckily found,

In the kitchenware collection which Jim had got,

Amongst the pots and pans his grandad's chamber pot.

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Criticism for his interview Prince Andrew has met,

It was almost impossible for him to sweat.

Pizza Express in Woking has achieved royal fame,

Used as an alibi to protect his good name.

An adviser had told him to remain in the shade,

To partake in the interview an error he has made.

Plaudits to rescue his reputation he did not receive.

In the interview he came over as bei...

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M.P.'s in Parliament on full pay,

Orators in posh suits arguing all day.

Getting nowhere really fast,

How long is this chaos going to last?

Homeless on the streets,how must they feel,

Damp and cold deprived of a meal.

Children from poor homes looking really sad,

Hankering for the breakfast they have not had.

Numerous buildings on our streets lying empty,

M.P.'s...

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I went to a wedding the atmosphere was alive,

I look forward to mine I hope I survive.

I went to a funeral the atmosphere was dead,

Each person was sad ,each bowing a head.

Old people at weddings always poke me and say,"You're next !"

So I started to do the same things to them in a text.

Did'nt want them to know it was me,

Got my own back at the funerals, tee hee.

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Will comes home drunk one night,

Something happened which gave him a fright.

He went to the toilet and the light went on,

The light went off when to his bed he had gone.

In bed he described what had happened to his wife Gwen.

"Will you dirty git,you've peed in the fridge agen !"

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Joe was a homless man living in a tyre,

I did a good deed, punctured it,his needs were dire.

I don't know what ispired me to do that,

But now he is living happily in a flat.

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"Your whole world was ruled by a dog,

Your attention and love it did hog!

You are not having another says me,

You took it for walks,ignored me!

Now that he is not there,

Time with you I can share.

You can devote all your attention to me !"

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The sun is setting in the aged's sky,

Not long to go before they die.

The sun is rising for the young as they plan ahead,

Full of opportunities and surprises,ambition led.

The hearses are waiting to pick the old up,

Wondering when they'll drink their  last cup.

Plenty of drinks for the young to swallow,

Large queues at the banks for them to borrow.

The money is th...

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Jim and Kay shared a flat,

Separate rooms,didn't want a brat.

Well thats what they told Jim's mum when she came to stay.

But Jim's mum was suspicious,what more can I say.

After she had gone the frying pan they could not find,

A week passed and Jim missed his crispy bacon rind.

He rang his mum and asked her if she had moved it.

"Ah yes, I hid it in your bed,you're sleepimg...

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My life is tough sleeping rough,

My throat is sore my voice is gruff.

I beg outside with my cup from Costa,

My wife is dead,so sad I lost her.

I sleep for shelter under a motorway bridge,

In deep winter like sleeping in a fridge.

Many of my colleagues out there do die,

The loss of a friend last week brought tears to my eye.

Only one eye I have, lost the other serv...

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Jack and Bill were part of a team,

Worked at the park's department in East Cheam.

Jack dug holes and Bill filled them in,

But to me the situation was a no win.

They worked all day, it seemed pointless to me

So I asked them why over a cup of tea.

"Well,the third man in our team ,he's called Mick,

He plants the trees,but rang in sick!"

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Rough sleeping in Westminster is at a high,

MP's avoid eye contact as they pass us by.

We are the victims of the problems they have created,

Due to the cost of the properties we have vacated.

We are pushed out of sight and out of mind,

MP's pretend we are not there,that's unkind !

Posh and highly educated,it is us they neglect,

Support for the vulnerable ,they continually...

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Tom  a HGV driver sat down in a cafe eating his egg and chips,

Ten hell's angels rushed in each with pierced lips.

They took over his plate and drank all his tea,

Tom walked out,"Huh wasn't much of a man was he?"

The proprietor of the cafe said,"Mmm that was Tom Sykes,

You don't tangle with him,he's just reversed over your bikes"

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The shutters came down on their warm place to stay,

Where the parliamentary "night shift,"their sleeping bags did lay.

From Westminster tube station to the parlimentary estate,

The tunnel that they slept in, they had to vacate.

During the day they were never there,

But after 11 p.m.the tunnel they did share.

By 6 a.m.after a good night's sleep they left,

The tunnel now si...

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Amelia lived in Sabden and was a witch,

In school she was unpopular and was called a bitch.

This troubled her very much,

Her class mates were cruel and out of touch.

But belonging to a witch family was not so bad,

Her mum was a witch and so was her dad.

Her dad would drive safely in the back seat,

Her mum while at work could make her house neat.

There was always m...

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Pete walked into a pub with a newt on his head,

The landlady asked,"Is he alive or is he dead?

May I stroke him,he's quite sweet?

Whats his name ,please take a seat?"

"I call him Tiny,he's really cute."

"Why call him Tiny?""Cos he's my newt."

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Jim was walking by the cemetery alone one night,

He saw a female figure his eyes lit up, she gave him a fright.

She sat on a grave her dark eyes gleaming,

But behind her veil there was something scheming.

"What do you want,maybe a treat?"

"Yes please said Jim,when can we meet?"

"Meet me tomorrow night and we shall see."

Jim's heart leapt in his chest full of expectancy.

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While at a  vegan caf in Manchester  I sat,

With a mother and her daughter I did chat.

The atmosphere was pleasant as we all enjoyed our meal,

My dog was at my side  and to the staff he did appeal.

When for my snack  to the counter I went to pay,

A random act of kindness came my way.

"The girls you were talking to,they have paid your bill."

Thankyou for your kindness,can'...

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I'm in my coffin on the way to the grave,

I pass a pub I hear them rave.

In my coffin I feel all alone,

I'm going to frighten them ,where's my phone?

 I hid it somwhere in a nook,

Its dark in here to dark to look.

I lift the lid and see the moon,

I feel around and find it soon.

I ring my son who is at the rave,

"I'm still alive don't need a grave!"

"But dad ...

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The clocks go back on Sunday,that's fine.

Slight problem!

Can't remember where I bought mine.

A receipt for the purchase I do lack,

No point really in taking it back.

The clocks go back on Sunday,

For me, not  a refund day.

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Steve was on the phone to his wife,

"I have just had the worst experience of my life.

Sonia has just taken me to health care,

She pushed me there in a wheel chair.

I was leaving work and was hit by a van,

The driver was drunk and away from the scene ran.

The police pursued the driver but all was in vain,

I am in hospital waiting for a scan on my brain!

I have three broken r...

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A h.g.v.. driver stops at a red light,

Barbara a baby sitter gets out of her car and gives him a fright.

"Hi my name is Barbara and your losing your load!"

The trucker ignores her and carries on down the road.

When the trucker stops at the next red light,

Barbara stomps out of her car and she's getting up tight.

"Hi my name is Barbara and your still losing your load!"

Sha...

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I'm walking down a Manchester street,

A man with a blanket and a bucket I do meet.

The bucket is full of loose change,

He lifts up the bucket outside the Range.

He shouts out ,"Spare change ,"in front of me,

I grabbed a handful and went to Greggs for my tea.

To return the favour I bought him an alsatian,

Much more money in his bucket ,quite a sensation.

His base was to...

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Three nuns were having a chat,

As on a park bench they all  sat,

They loved to talk and spread the word,

Some things they said were quite absurd.

The first nun said, "I was cleaning Father's house last week,

What I found you must not leak.

I found two naughty notes with ,women for hire.

I was devastated I threw them in the fire!"

The second nun said,"A bag of cond...

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I'm selling a house in disrepair,

So many faults,I do despair !

I despise the house the area is bad,

To sell it as it is I will be extremely glad.

No central heating,no hot running water,

Need a better school to send my daughter.

Due to dampness there is black mold everywhere.

We tried selling it before but got nowhere.

Its on an ex council estate,a bad one at tha...

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Be careful what house you buy,

To hide its past the selller might try. 

Boris went to have a look at a house with his wife,

A serial killer had lived there ,now serving life.

Police found eleven bodies there hidden away,

Thats why it was cheap,what more can I say.

A wife put her house up for sale after getting divorced,

Her husband had left three years ago,to sell she was...

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Boris was looking for a new place to work

Long term unemployment was beginning to lurk.

But an opportunity arose in the town he did live,

Two good references to the council he did give.

He secured the job of litter warden at the park.

It was an early start,Boris was up with the lark.

"What training do I get,I don't want to do anything wrong?"

"None,"said his new boss"You'...

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A brutal random knife attack,horrifically mean,

Brings back memories of the tragedy of 2017.

Armed with a large knife he did viciously attack,

Shoppers in the Arndale Centre spreading fear and flack.

Lunging and attacking relentlessly with his knife,

Creating chaos in the centre,thankfully no loss of life.

The perpetrator was detained under the mental health act,

For inju...

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How do we improve our mental wellbeing?

To follow,a few reasons worth reading.

Eating raw fruit and veg can ease stress,

Releasing endorphins fighting distress.

Exercising is a key to give our mood a lift,

Creating happy hormones ,a precious gift.

Taking us away from stress and pain,

Replacing gloom and sorrow with a smile again.

Sleep is essential after a day of ...

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Minbu,Noorjahan,Tara and Esha are getting excited,

A male is moving in with them ,he is delighted.

All five females are looking forward to be his mate,

Enthusiastically in wait,to sexually participate.

Emmet an animal of good nature a first class breeding bull,

All five female elephants at the zoo he will willingly pull.

He will be packing his trunk from Whipsnade this year,

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While Milly and her mum are eating their brek,

Milly drops her jam butty on the deck.

As she picked it up Milly asks,

"Why does dad have so few hairs on his head?"

"He thinks a lot and is clever and well read.

"Thats a really good explanation mum, for his head to be bare,

Which makes me wonder mum,Why do you have so much hair?"

"

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A man walked into a doctor's surgery and flung open the door.

Jumped on the doctor's back, counted  "One!Two!Three!Four!"

"What do you think you are doing?"asked Dr Pugh.

"Well doc,everyone did say I could count on you."

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"My life was in danger every single day,

Oh my God ,why did I stay!"

Domestic abuse is a cowardly affair,

"Unable to live safely in my home is unfair."

Domestic abuse has only one aim,

Using fear ,guilt,intimidation and blame.

To gain control,wear you down and mistreat,

This crime hidden at home we must defeat.

The scars of domestic violence run deep,

The traum...

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Farmer Giles was a very lucky man,

He was on his way to pick fruit in his van.

Picking fruit was very hot work,

To have a dip in your own lake was definitely a perk.

He'd packed his trunks ready for the lake,

They were designer label,cheap but fake..

As he approached the lake with his bucket full of fruit,

He heard high pitched laughter which suddenly went mute.

A grou...

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A tree was enjoying a day out with his friends,

But a strong wind builds up and his good day ends.

All his leaves are blown off,leaving him sad,

With no leaves on his branches he feels bad.

He runs away from the forest and grieves,

I suppose you could say he was absent without leaves.

A tree story.

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Two elephants lie in a zoo,

One of them couldn't go to the loo.

He had a problem which needed to be sorted,

Everything the keepers did could not be thwarted.

But in the end the problem they did defeat,

By giving  him lots of fruit to eat.

Never give up and say that you can't,

Persevearance solved the problem of the smellyphant.

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A friend of mine after he had left his wife,

Thought about having a change in his life.

He decided on a pet that was completely unique,

He'd had a rabbit,a dog and a parrot that could speak.

He decided on a monkey thought that would be fun.

So ordered one in a rush,the deal was done.

It came to the house the size of a small dog,

Lay at the bottom of his bed,slept like a l...

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A lawyer driving to the airport  was late for a flight,

Scared of missing his plane he ran a red light!

A farmer in a tractor was going through on green,

Unfortunately was hit by the lawyer at the scene.

The lawyer angrily shouted,"You idiot why did you do that?

I'm going to miss my plane you farming rat!"

Calm down said the farmer,don't get worked up."

Took out a whisky bottl...

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A primary school has introduced a therapy dog to bring good cheer,

A therapy dog provides comfort and love to anyone near.

Fable a black labrador fills the children with joy,

Renowed for their good temperament,there to enjoy.

Fable improves the wellbeing of all that she meets,

When meeting the children wags her tail and greets.

Access to Fable is managed as her tail she does...

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Ghazala Lari ,your wise words I have put into verse,

Into your hearts dear readers closely please nurse.

The advice of this young lady shines  so bright,

Look after your relationships and put things right.

He who made us we must respect,

He who made us don't neglect.

Love your  Creator and your never alone,

He will look after you down to the bone.

With our family ...

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Last night I watched Parliament live on T.V.

It seems to be the road to nowhere for me.

There's more order in a rival football match,

Impossible for M.P.s  getting together for a Brexit egg hatch.

Boris and Corbyn you must take a stand,

Avoid quarreling,burying your heads in the sand.

Cast away the anger and indifference that resides,

Join together where respect and unity...

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Jane was married to Bill,a barber he became,

He was a very busy man,had a really good name.

There were frequent queues for cuts at his shop,

"How long a wait,"a guy asks,"for a crop?"

"Two hours," shouts Bill from behind a head.

Three days later the same guy said,

"How long before I can get a haircut today?"

"Two hours, I'm very busy,"the guy walks away.

A week la...

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I'm searching for an unique eight character password for my online banking,

For a strong,secure and original one ,for a while I have been hankering.

There's so many different ones to choose out there,

I need something that no-one else can share.

It must be eight characters long,

What about me using Hong Cong?

Someone will have used that,it won't be mine!

Eight characters for m...

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She gets up early and puts on her ceggs,

Goes to the farm and steals some eggs.

Then she goes home and quickly fries,

Devours them all and then she cries.

A  guilty feeling hatches in her brain,

But to survive, tomorrow, she'll  do it again.

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On my way to post a letter past  Peel Park school,

Fell flat on my face creating a blood pool.

Tripped over some wires dangling from a house,they shouldn't have been there !!

Damaging my nose,knees and shoulders ,gave me a scare.

Lost consciousness for a moment but soon got it back,

Face down on the pavement suffering a horendous whack.

My blood poured out at tap like pace,

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Louise was out with Jim having a meal,

The print was minute on the menu,unhappy she did feel.

"Waitress, a question about the menu please."

"The men I please are none of your business Louise! "

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There once were two cannibals called Devour and Crunch,

Who were sat at a table demolishing their lunch.

Devour said ,"I don't like my mother-in-law!"

"Never mind,"said Crunch," just eat the veg."

,

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Market street ,one of the busiest shopping streets in the land,

Pedestrianised,all cyclists racing down should be banned.

Silent cyclists rampaging down Market street,

Dangerously dodging bag laden shoppers out for a treat.

Britain's cyclists are keen,green and keep themselves fit,

But shoppers down Market street are frightened of being hit.

Food deliverers with targets to m...

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Dawn and Marge were at the flicks watching The Golden Compass.

In the foyer a farmer was causing quite a rumpus.

He'd bought two tickets one for him and one for his chicken Nance.

"No chicks allowed !"So secretly he stuffed Nance down his pants,

Sneaked her in and sat next to Dawn and Marge.

The movie started and the chicken's head from the farmer's trousers did discharge.

Dawn s...

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Girls certainly know how to shop,

As into our shopping precincts they drop.

They carry more bags than us men,

Filling their bags agen and agen.

Girls you keep our economy alive,

Without you it would not survive.

Males purchase probably one in ten,

Our economy would be dead if it was up to men.

Colourful accessories you girls do buy,

To attract the attention of ...

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A storm is set to hit our land,

The situation is getting out of hand.

To many politicians fighting for their own cause,

Cease the chaos and withdraw your claws.

Our politicians have suffered an addiction,

Reaping flames of chaos and argumentive friction.

Parliament is closed,M.P.'s on full pay,

Ignoring the storm thats on its way.

Boris and Corbyn cease the fight,

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Sammy was a skeleton in the past was very brave,

But now was called lazybones always lying on his grave.

To make extra money he went to the town centre alone,

And sat outside the funeral palour playing his trombone.

Sammy was frequently sad nobody for a friend,

But on Friday the 13th his life came to an end.

He had commited many crimes but had managed to stay loose,

But on Fri...

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A lady was relieved at the trial of her spouse,

He was jailed for 10 years ,she was safe in her house.

He was jailed relentlessly for domestic abuse,

She was overjoyed,10 years before he was let loose!

To celebrate she went out and bought a new car,

A 2 litre BMW to race on the tar.

She drove down the motorway really fast,

Floored the accelerator to give the engine a blas...

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A message to the passengers was relayed,

"The Easy jet flight to Alicante is delayed."

They were minus one pilot for the Alicante flight.

Standing at the terminal one man  put things right.

Michael was ready to holiday with his wife and young boy,

What happened next filled the passengers  with joy.

He rang Easy jet ,"I've got my licence and ID."

He was ready to fly and to his ...

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A woman walks into a shop to buy some beer,

The shop assistant asks,"How old are you my dear?"

"I'm 40 years old,believe you me."

"Well I still need to see your ID."

She showed her ID. and was well in the age range.

Gave him a note and said,"Keep the change."

After she left his colleague was told,

"It works every time when you ask ,how old?"

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The homeless problem is here to stay,

There is no sign of it going away.

"We are human beings just like you,

Fed up of sleeping next to poo!"

A homeless man sleeping outside H.S.B.C.

It can happen to anyone,even you and me.

"Price of things are going up,

Please put something in my cup."

It is not easy to get off the street,

As more disasters the homless meet.

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A lady went to a restaurant and ordered a stew,

It had to be rabbit,but into a rage flew.

It was not as described,her money she did re-coupe,

After discovering a hair lying in her soup.

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I am a rat and I live in a town,

When the residents see me I bring on a frown.

I climb through takeaway windows don't tell them that,

I'm amazed at my attributes,I'm a skilled acrobat.

I munch with friends,takeaways we do eat,

 An assortment of flavours ,every meal  a treat.

I rely on the residents ,who frequently neglect,

Discarding their rubbish ,loads to select.

The...

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I have successfully landed in my new land,

But there is no-one there to lend me a hand!

I am coping although it is extremely tough,

Sheltering in doorways,sleeping rough.

Coughing and shivering when awoken,

Mentally drained,emotionally broken.

Little has changed to my plight,

But I am still hopeful and continue to fight.

I shut down sometimes to deal with the stress,

Sit...

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Britain's future is falling down the drain,

We must do the right thing and vote remain.

To leave then, the vote was 52 to 48,

When all the facts were not put on the plate.

We were misled to vote for leave,

The true facts were omitted to decieve.

The European union are there to trip us up,

Trouble lies ahead in the future break up.

Numerous jobs will be lost,

Leaving the ...

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She pushed her pram and lit a fag,

Her skin wrinkled and her cheeks did sag.

Baby's lungs filled up with smoke,

Coughing and spluttering ready to choke.

Her phone rang and gave her a start,

As to the cigarette counter she did dart.

She ignored the ring and switched it off,

Baby in pram continued to cough.

Twenty cigarettes she did buy,

Baby in pram continued to cry. 

...

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I'm having twins ,heavens above!

Ahead, much joy,amazement and love.

Suddenly my pregnancy is a double delight,

Can't wait to see them together in their cot at night.

Will I give them names starting with the same letter?

Rhyming ,matching,soundlike might be better.

Lots of questions cross my mind,

Will their finger prints be the same kind?

Will they share a secret language ...

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Fred Faithful was a very loyal man,

Lorraine was his pretty girlfriend,he was her number one fan.

One day he went to work and found a new girl had started.

She was called Clearly,drop dead gorgeous,newly parted.

Fred became besotted,it was obvious Clearly liked him too.

But he still loved Lorraine and didn't know what to do.

Fortunately as fate had it Lorraine ran away with John,

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She was at a table alone dressed in pink,

Disgustingly drunk swigging her drink.

My wife and  I  were at a celebration at Haslingden High,

When the lady looked up and shouted,"He was my number one guy!"

"Is that right? said my wife."You randy git !"

"Yeh ,she took to drink right after we split.

"She's never been sober since it all went wrong."

"Beats me ,"said my wife"how she ...

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Dave was racing down the M65 ,

Going really fast and lucky to be alive.

He was pulled over by a cop who was ready for his break,

Hankering for his coffee and his carrot cake.

"Hope you've got a good excuse for going so fast.

I looked at my speedo and I was truly aghast !"

"Well years ago my wife ran away with a cop,

Thought you were bringing her back,didn't want to stop!"

I...

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Patrick O'Keefe had been drinking all night,it was the final round.

He stood up,but fell flat on his face while homeward bound.

He crawled outside to get some fresh air,

Again fell flat on his face,it gave him a scare.

He pulled himself together and crawled the four blocks to his flat,

Stood up to put the key in the door and fell flat on the mat.

He quietly crawled up the stairs ...

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A monster has appeared in my body,

A demon has struck I feel shoddy.

You made me think you were the answer to my pain,

I let you in but there was no gain.

You soon ruled and became my master,

And led me down a road to disaster.

Now all I do is cheat ,steal and lie.

The deeper I go the more I cry.

Drugs have become my best friend,

To stop taking them I see no en...

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Smoking is  glamourous ,sexy and mature,

Advertisers create this perception to lure,

Teens to smoke and feel cool,

To fit in with their friends at school.

Smoking creates rebellion in the family hive,

Best to quit this mistake and stay alive.

Ask your teen what made him start,

To damage the lungs,circulation and heart.

Smoking and vaping are not allowed,

Darkness lu...

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Doctors are being driven to despair,

As a crisis unfolds in health care.

The system is creaking at the seams,

Disillusioned doctors leaving early to pursue retirement dreams.

Surgeries closing at the rate of two a week,

440 G.P.s lost last year as their pressures peak.

As our growing and ageing population does soar,

If the G.P. service fails,the N.H.S. could be no more.

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Manchester was buzzing and full of fun,

Many had travelled for the Sunday10k run.

On boarding the bus back to Burnley,the X43,

The people were happy and full of glee.

Chatting and laughing discussing their day.

But something really scary was to happen on the motorway.

At 50m.p.h. the bus did cruise,

Passengers watching and admiring the views.,

A brick was hurled at the driv...

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Scott was travelling home from a party in his local town,

Became a victim of a knife crime,paralysed from the neck down.

He was told it had severed his spinal chord and would never walk again,

Relying on round the clock care and medication to deal with his pain.

Scott at 16  experienced the devastating consequences of  a knife attack.

Now at 27 in his wheel chair still fighting to g...

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Kids should always have someone they can look up to and believe,

To follow a path they can stride down and achieve.

Unsure at first as all teenagers are,

But by the flick of a switch they can become a star.

An animal lover and a qualified vet,

Success on the track Laura Muir has met.

Steady and sustained progress over the past

One or two knocks out of the way she did cast...

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