I have this Melancholy It's like chipped puzzle pieces
Don't tell me I'll will get over it I'm 26
With crippling issues that I can take care of
People tell me to forget about it
I got a heart full of heartache
Of abuse and suffering and I can't forget about it

The leaves are falling but the times don't change
Everyone has an answer to your problem they've never lived

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I hope you know 
I don't hate you 
I just feel sorry for you
All the mind games 
You're going to die alone
Wolf in sheep clothing that is what you are
Everyone you've hurt is starting to see the wolf
For every action has made there's a concert

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There's no rest for the wicked when I'm cradling death
I'm on the edge of self-harming again 
This is a race to heaven then I'll surely come in last
Because I'm hell-born and I'm surely not going to lie
I damn the Holy Spirit and I surely not glad about it
I can't go into a church without bursting into laughter
So I'm hell looking for an angel to grab

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The contracts of what makes love
It's so not online it is so unnatural
Force it on to someone 
When being accepted is far from easy
Love is difficult to actually learn how to
When you get it it's easy to master
It is the broken stairs to repurpose 
The flaws in your head that make you wonder
We always sell broken or did it happen over time
Authentic love is a true expression 

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I'm paralyzed by the lights
I'm slowly slumbering into lights
I tried to march to my own beat
I'm ashamed of what I've become

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Can you tell me how far it goes
I'm just trying to keep myself alive
I lost myself in your eyes
This crippling depression has taken over again
So blame me for all your worries
I'll never be anything more than a regret
Did you understand this today
I want to pass away in my sleep 
Please understand I fucking want to stop 
God I hate myself so much 
The pain never goes away
Don't tell me ...

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Been running from my responsibility 
Everything got dark and I lost my vision of myself
The antidote was always in my fingertip
Nothing makes me sober than the past

I won't be a culture vulture of punk
I won't tell a man that he can't wear a dress
I will burn all the institutions that this culture made
I was the kid that got beat up by the punks 

Because I was too sad for them 
The go...

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I think I truly hate Halloween
It was the last day I saw my mother
She packed her bags and left
I have a couple of issues that I'll never fix
I'll keep Nirvana Rape Me on replay

Mentally, sexually and physically abused
So tonight I ask why do I miss her
After a head full of trauma

Sometimes I wish I could be fixed 
The wound that she left has never healed
I still have broken ribs and...

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God is falling into insanity
The anti-depression medicine 
Is screaming for attention
The paranoia is all I know

I"m looking for something more
My thighs were made for scars
Suicidal thoughts have me thinking 
That cutting myself is my savior from them 

Please don't let me fall into the thoughts
Holy paper burning away from me
The demons are heavier than you think

God is falling i...

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I'm on a bottle of anti-depression
Have a couple of people 
That is crashing on me
I look in a mirror but I only see ugly
So why do they want me?

I spent almost a whole year 
Reflecting on my bad Behavior
Trying to apologize for it 
Pushing people out 
I can't even do that right

I hate that people ask to see my face more
If you saw it, it would only call it ugly
So why show it to t...

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You're all addicted to social media
Share your memes and your stupid quotes
We're all depressed but no one wants to talk about it
So take the mask off you're the problem with yourself

Don't tell the world how you truly feel
Burn your existence and leave your soul
We're all puppets for corporations 
Why we stay poor and in debt

Only you can free yourself 
You stay in you're boring cycl...

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I can't do this anymore
I've been watching everyone I love 
Being abused by their heads 
I can't take it anymore

I'm the cry baby 
The emotional wreck 
The black sheep of the family
I'm the cry baby

So put down the drugs 
It's not helping anymore 
I won't let my worries kill me 
I'm anxious again wanting to cry 

Oh I'm a cry baby now 
I'm the cry baby 
With a face full of make ...

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Look inside the moon 
Can you tell that its vitals are fine
It's been a while since it's been a while since 
I could hold my head up fine

Don't hate my ways 
It's under the skin now
Could you forget my name 
I've seen the godless goddess 
Hold your head to the sun 

We're all non-believers now
I've been forgetting the lights
Under the mountain of shit, you said
Broken bottles in her...

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A thick layer of cold pressing my body
I know it's only me now
All the nights I spent without you
Made me realize that I was better without you
You're right I am the best guy you ever date
I spent four years waiting for you
you would have never done the same for me

She never really cared
It took me four whole years to face the truth
You don't love me you only care about yourself
Now I'...

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You can call yourself 
I'm burning from the 2nd floor 
Can you hear me?
God is gone to a better place

Please don't hold the wave 
Please don't hold the wave
I am coming down 

I cut myself today 
I let the blood dry up 
Picked the crest just to see if I would bleed again

Something in the way you say you're okay 
Makes me want to end it
So cut the tie today

Please don't hold the...

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How did you get so lonely?
With all that dirt under your nose
She the devil one touch of her clitoris
You'll be in love and let her toxic waste pour into you

She's refusing to take responsibility for her actions 
She's a psychopath without even asking
She's Courtney Love without the fame

She likes sex more than she likes to admit
She will fuck the new guy before she breaks up with you
...

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She was the woman that fought for the nameless
She was an icon too many
She was a trailblazer
She may not be here anymore
She should always be remembered 
She fought for equal rights
She was the Notorious RBG

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You're the type of girl 
That can make me jealous 
I don't want to see another boy around your waist
You pick snitches and cheaters you
Haven't had a real man in so long 

Don't get me wrong I was the absolutely worse back then
I've changed a lot since then
So how long are you going to pull these poor boys strings?
The truth is I know you more than you like 

I know you're devious  
Yo...

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I can’t do this anyone
I can’t keep lying to myself
I’ve been walking but my feet is bleeding
So hold right there

I’m pessimistic without an rainy day
So what’s the awareness I’m looking for
I’ve been playing with the end

So you win I can’t keep these up
I can’t breath anymore
I’ve saved some friends from the end
But they wouldn’t do the same

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It's okay to be over emotional
To all the people that calls you toxic
That really shows their maturity
Running in circles like they're an ass
They can never understand being an emotional wreck 24/7
You beg for suicidal thoughts to end
There forever until you stop breathing
I'm not weak I have to deal with Suicidal Thoughts every week
So I'm braver than most I haven't took my life yet
I've...

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Boys don't get hurt
Boys don't have feelings
Boys can't be the abused
Shut your mouth right now

Boys can't be sexually abused
Boys can't be abuse by females
Boys Don't struggle with depression
Shut your mouth right now

Boys don't have abandonment issues
Boys don't have panic attacks
If they do there're labeled week
Stay strong don't let them get to you
You're allowed to have emotio...

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I just wish I was everything you wanted
I wish the devil didn't sour the air
You're like chalk on a chalkboard
Your toothpick stabbing in my foot

I hate myself for loving you more than you could love me
I"ve only wanted your hand in forever 
The slightest bit of red in my carport
I'm a fork in an electrical socket

I can't be the same without you 
I know the end it's happy 
It's me al...

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All I wanted to do
Was spend every day with you
To hell with that, you had to leave
To hell with that, you had to leave 

I wanted to spend every day
By the fire holding your hand 
It's been about four years now 
Time not been nice for us 

So could you understand it's all fine 
Autumn's coming and I'll fall with the leaves
I'm going away for a long for a long 

All I wanted to do
W...

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I'm becoming so jaded 
That the green is oozing out of my skin
I don't know what love is 
I've never been shown it

I can't fix myself 
I stop the PTSD turner into another anxiety attack
I just want to stop breathing 
So the pain can fade 

If I could just turn my brain off
I don't care if you love me 
Please just go away 

I've got two weeks 
Until the world stops 
I'll never be o...

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Listen to melancholy chemicals
It's like a candle burning on both ends
I never know when to let go until I'm already burnt
The crumbling foundation is all I have left
The scenery will change but I'll still feel the same

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This abandonment issues 
Has my attachment anxiety
Oozing out like a black sludge

If you show me, love 
I'm holding on forever 
I don't know how to let go
You know you'll mess with 
My head until I break again

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The illusion that you're living
Patty and desperate for attention
The conditions that you wanted is not meant
Your broken wings won't get you far

You have a problem with moving on
Darling, you think you wrote the rules to the game
I had to spell check them so I know better
The fabrics that hold your delusions together is ripping
I thought you said that you matured

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I know times are dark right now
But it's okay to be sad 
Even the sky cries tonight 
So don't be scared to cry

We all see someone
In memories, we will live forever
So talk about them until daybreak's
It's okay to be alone in the dark
I will always be here 

I know she's not physically here anymore
She's still alive in your mind 
With that, she lives forever in you
All the colours in...

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I admitted that my wrongs
I let them beat me to the ground
You can't see the end without drowning 
The misery is all you're ever know
How is misery treating you it's treating me well

It's show and tell dear 
I'll let you go first  
My turn is going to take all-day
The abuse, the lying all of it 
Built a wall to not trust anyone

I apologize about a thousand times
When you just got pi...

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He'll never be good enough for her
He asked her why she had to leave
He was willing to do anything just anything
To keep her close and never let go

He wanted to marry her and get lost in a small family 
He wanted to prove to her that he truly love her
He slowly went into figuring out that
He was ever going to be good enough

He loved her too much
He was always there for her no matter w...

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Why can't you understand
The best of us is dying
So don't look into the dark 

As my broken body rots
I see the light burning into the holes 
No one  will understand how you breath
So what keeps you moving 

I've never been important to anyone
So how could I fix myself
When no one took the time to see me

I'm shaking at unshakable
So here is my last word 
Please tell me 
Please tel...

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When did I become the void
The air is becoming shortening
So there is no way out 
Hold me now I can't see the light

I"ve become the hollow 
No raindrops on my head
I"ve become the hollow
I am here on my own 

Do you hear it space cowboy
Father is home
Now we all will feel his pain
Bang
The Sinners will die there's no dents need it this time

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I've been trying to get my head up like a buoy
It's no use I'm drowning already
I'm lost at sea 
Throwing up from the vertical

I didn't lie when I told you 
I loved you but you surely did
You broke all of your promises 
Didn't even flinch from it

It would have been easier if you killed me
Because I loved you 
I tried to be everything for you
Like always I'm never good enough

Sew ...

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I can't fix this 
The cloak doesn't stop 
I'm alone in this room 
So one more fight, one more fight

I'll call this done 
I'll never find my way home 
So let me bleed out, it's okay 
Tonight I'm alone with my demons
 
I've never been obsessed with anything but my death
I can't forgive myself oh I can't forgive myself
The thoughts are so overwhelming
I'm so sorry

I can't fix this 
...

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One more cut won't hurt 
One more cut I"ll see I am still alive
One more cut and no one will know 
One more cut I can be happy 
One more cut that's all I need 
One more cut so I won't be numb 
One more cut and it will be my last
One more cut I can forget her name 
One more cut that's all I need please don't be mad 

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I let you use me 
Have your way 
You still didn't stay
The memories make me want to die

Why won't you stay 
I told you no 
But you still had your way
I just don't want to be alone 

If you would stay 
I don't want to be alone 
Goddammit I'm a product of abuse  
It doesn't feel good

Set my world on fire
I'm not obsessed with you 
I'm obsessed with not dying alone

I'll let you ...

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Suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide di...

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Bullshit you miss me 
Why does it always have to be this way
I never told you it would be easy 
You hate me but I love the way you lie

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Self harm until you hit the bone
It's okay love isn't real
We are all faking it just to have some company
So does the moon shine as bright as I
How is acting like I don't exist going for you

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The only thing you wanted 
But you could have
You When to hell but you still failed 
Does it look good when you cry now 
Becuase it's not fair 
So I don't see firefly light
I'm shining too hard

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The moon had a girl 
The sun had a boy 
The love died and the diver 
Let the fire burn his body 
 

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I don't want to waste your precious time
It's unfair that you think it's all about you
Did you ever ask how I feel
I know you never apologized
For all the times you slipped up

I could never truly believe you
Best that we went our separate ways
Because you're a fucking monster and I'm a demon
You living in lies and thinking it's fairy tales

I want the fancier things in life
You want t...

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I've been responding in all the wrong ways
I've simply just an idiot
Trying to make everyone laugh
For my sins are carved into my skin
We never want to be evil or cruel
I know that all humankind can be

The human race hates change
The only time we can grow is when we'er uncomfortable
We let fear take over are mind
So we let people weaponize with our fears 
We become the monsters

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I know this isn't what you want to hear
I know my mind doesn't make sense right now
I've been questioning if I should even go on
I've been so numb 

I think after July I'll say goodbye 
I don't see anything getting better 
I've been abused in every way
No one gets a shit about the grave I've been digging

I know you don't read my poems 
So you don't have to act like you do
See I'm just...

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I've been enjoying the death of my mind and it's clear for everyone can see

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His just trying to make it home 
They call him faggot for wearing makeup
Tell him to be more masculine
No wonder he wants to end his life

Unfortunately we all suffer from depression
In the cages that the government sets for us
You can protest for something better
They're shoot you with a rubber bullet and call you a monster
It's contagious that baby boomers never had it bad
Their parent...

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Mentally abused all his life
So he cuts himself to fill if he's alive
They say suicide is not a way to go
He's never known what love Is
Never good enough for everyone
Where was his peaceful days?

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Just three weeks ago I had you in my arms
I still ask for commission to take off your clothes
You said yes and my mind was peaceful
We were both naked in my bed
You wanted sex but I didn't
Now I'm lonely 

Wasting away inside my mind
How could you kiss me 
And think that it wouldn't Fuck with me
You Firefly as why I want to die

I don't have peaceful days I just have nightmares
Do you...

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Today I thought about killing myself
I found myself not good enough
I don't think anyone would miss me
Don't get me wrong

I hate that funniest guy in the room is the saddest
Everyone I've ever met I've made them chuckle
I can't think of anything positive
My whole body is going numb

I've become the thing I hate
Fully died inside 
There isn't a anything there anymore
All I think about...

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She kissed me only to go again 
Why can't I be the one 
This is all I think about 
She has killed the happiness fully this time

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Nothing is forever
You can love her as long as you live
Even when she doesn't care about you
She can be the woman that kills you
She'll still be forgiven

If you love her you'll never be angry at her
You will never lie to her
Even if it hurts her feelings

The thing about it is 
Even when no one hears her
You always know what she said
If she was invisible as you would still see her
W...

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I can't say this anywhere else
I wish you would have picked me
I wish I was good enough for her
I just wanted to be everything she wanted
I messed up and I lost her again
Why can't I just be good enough
Why dose everyone pick someone over me
I just want to be someone's everything
No I'm sentenced to a lonely life
I've never known what love Is
I guess I'll die alone not knowing what it is
...

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It was two souls burning on separate ends
Completely obsessed with finding each other
When they did they exploded
Not in love but anger for each other
The other was not there when they needed each other
They was broken souls not to be found
They could have made love but they started the fire
Burning each other at the opposite ends again
They were lovers but they could never be together
Af...

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In the end you get tired of struggling 
To keep everyone you love safe
Just for them to leave you in the end
Everything dies and I'm accepting this now
Can't save everyone

So to the girl with the raindrop boots
I'll leave you here on this planet of angels
One last battle the fight after this
There is no regeneration after this
I will stop running and I will die

Bang!
Everything will...

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Everyone has to have a loved one
I am slowly finding out
I was not waiting for fireflies 
What I found out that even loneliness
Deserves to have a romantic partner in life
I'll be eternally alone I won't be sad or depressed
Even she deserves a hand to hold
I will give loneliness a partner to be with
So she does not affect anyone else's life
Her whole life she's been feared 
Everyone fear...

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In the darkest shade of blue possible
I told you I loved you
On a cold October night 
I promised you I'd wait
You promised your hand
When the sun is in the highest of the sky
I'll close my eyes for the last time

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I won't lie to make her feel better
I'd rather tell her the truth
If that hurt her feelings at least I didn't lie
She's tell me to fuck off  
I'll keep telling her words she don't want to hear
That he lied to her for three years
He'll become pure toxic to her
It only takes them a couple months 
To show their true colors

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For the first time in years 
I have no path to follow
No road to hell just just a reflecting on my life
It's time for me to be who I am
Not a mortar not jaded but who I really am
Let's live life proper this time

Maybe one day I'll go looking for that road again
Until then I'm going to be the best me
I'm not the same person I was 4 years ago
If you don't want me willingly
It's best for ...

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Some things you can't change
Like the form of reality touching your skin
Being all alone isn't that bad
Reflecting on your life
Picking out the things that you did wrong
It's okay how long will you keep the lie alive
That your life is perfectly fine without me
Every time I go you end up a mess
I guess if you want me gone I'll leave

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The sounds of creamy white milk
Pouring over the cereal 
Was so absolutely depressing
This is the basic of life
We will all die nothing left to it
These anti Melancholy pills 
Are getting harder to swallow

https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIo

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My mental state is starting to break again
I think it was just seeing her
Said it before she's the Joker to my Harley
So can you tell her the burden me
I think I'm desperate to find a poison ivy
I'm drowning here awake
Gargling tar in my lungs
It doesn't shine the way it used to
I think I like the abuse
I think I confused it for love all the time
The worst you treat me the more I love yo...

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I've been laying in bed 
Feeling like I was sinking 
Into the arms of Lucifer
I cannot call out I cannot say a word
From my mind is tricked me 
Into believing this is the end
Hand to hold this is the end

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She swore that she was in love
It was only the butterflies
False delusions of grandeur
She told the world lies

If her lover knew the truth
It would destroy the illusion of love
I highly doubt she will ever speak a word of it
This will be all over soon

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I believe that all 
My problems go back to you
Cut me down in my misery
Left the body rotting to the vultures
You got your drugs in your veins

Every breath slowly tarnished my mind
The agony underneath always will last
Oh mother look what you've done
Faith and love is non-existent
I don't believe anyone should care for me

It's okay I never expected you to love me
After all you aband...

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Don't counterfeit yourself from the truth
Most people are only 
Looking out for their own interests
So expect the worst from them
That way they can't hurt you

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Love is crashing into the stars
Knowing that this isn't permanent
Only the making of something better.

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Would you sell your soul to her?
Would you give everything to protector?
Would you love her when she's put your heart through hell?
Would you truly listen to her conversations?
Would you do anything to make sure that she's appreciated?
I would and never look back,
All I wanted was her.

When she left I don't think she heard me say.
Don't go!

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Don't tell me that you love me
When you're just going to walk out
Don't tell me that you cared
When your actions show differently
I told you I'd wait here a hundred years
I didn't tell you I've been time traveling
To find out a lonely bleak future
I highly doubt you could grasp
I never go into the past
For the cravings of changing would always last
I thought I found a way to tell you
I ...

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Closure is for the lucky ones
When she passes away there's no closure
I was fifteen I did not know how to handle the pain
All the self-abuse in the world
Couldn't not numb that pain
I begged for the ending to be changed 
There is no going back to normal

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The most beautiful demented sounds
Are those that you cover your eyes
You still felt a crunching of the bone dripping out
This is not a concept for love
More of a step back

Violently holding yourself rocking back and forth
Tell yourself that everything is okay
You're only in shock after all
The physical pain will go away
Mentally you always be scarred
This moment will not fade

It's ...

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Who am I to you
I waited but still it's not me
I wanted but still I am fading
You told me not to say goodbye
For what I need to know now 
Why am I still here waiting on you 
I am nothing but a confused child now
Asking why did I come back if you did not want me?

https://youtu.be/H7Xe5jcsu-E

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The question always remains
If suffocate myself on this
Means that love is what destroys me
Will you be okay at taking a life

I'm desperate for your hand
You're dead set on killing me
So crash my heart into dust

It's okay it's just who you are
I can't live like this anymore
I'm breaking into shards 
I think anyone can put me together

I've been thinking mother was right
That no on...

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I don't know what to do anymore 
All I want is to be her everything 
But I feel that I am forevr to be lost
For all I am is a phantom now

Begging for her to see me
The truth will change everything
Why did you refuse my goodbyes
Just to break me apart 

I'm fully lost and scared now
I told you I can't be friends 
So what am I supposed to do now?
Suffocate on the memories of you like o...

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Have I became a phantom
Fading from your mind
Or is my heart not tied in right
Check under your cabinets
I'm just a phantom

I feel so ignorant for loving you
When I knew you were just hurt me again
I know this is stupid of me
I was really hoping that you could just love me

Was is it that I can't be important to anyone
Do you get it yet?
I blame myself for everything
I beat myself u...

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I wish I was the person you love the most, I was just a bitterblossom that was growing under the concrete that you never checked to see if I was alive, if you mentally recorded my emotions on your heart, then maybe you would understand that I was lonely slowly falling into the deep void of depression, I spent so much time worrying about how you are feeling and how you were, you were my oxygen my w...

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                                   I 

                                     Love

                                             Her
                                But

                                      She 

                                              couldn't

                               Love

                                       Me

                                     ...

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I'm writing a different story now
The waiting man found a different purpose
He doesn't need someone's hand to hold
He doesn't want to make the world a better place
He just wants to enjoy the company that he gets
The friends that actually matter to him that check up on him
The outcasts the outcasts
The Forsaken the Damned the bastardized
People that doesn't give to go to parties or drink mu...

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I believe love could save me
In the end it was pain 
That showed me how to life
Misery relieved me from hope
If I still believed in you 
I would of never left the lighthouse

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Blood on my hands 
Death in my back pocket
Some days feel so far away 
The night I told you I loved you 
I was numb from social anxiety

So where are you now 
So how far do I have to go 
How dose this end now 

She was the end of me 
Whispering me to sleep
Until she took my heart
Now I'll never sleep again 

How many days have passed me by
Since I could see straight
This is the en...

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How do I drown without emerging in myself in water?
I can't remember the last time
It's not about how full the glass
It's about what's in it

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Trapped in a silent
Only your memory remains
I'm on my knees grabbing at my chest
Worried to death about you 
I know that's dumb of me to do

My brain is fuzzy and I can't breathe
I'm in another anxiety attack at 3 AM
I'm thinking about you too hard
I've become sick of crying 
I'll just get angry at myself and blame me

What the hell would I be 
Without meting you 

La la la 
They ...

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Too late I guess your gone
I am the cherry blossoms
Growing in the back of your mind
I fell into a thousand shards of glass
As you stepped on me 
I started to make you bleed
I'm not helpless I can protect myself
You'll come back around next year
To admire the beauty in front of you
Just to bleed yourself dry from it

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How is this fair
I thought you said 
There was a happy ending
For people like us

If I never told you to go with your father
You'd be here in my arms
Two days from your 26th birthday
I'm giving into madness
I'm so lonely and depressed
Beating myself up for your death

How can I make it out today
When your ghost is absolutely killing me
I wish I couldn't just turn back time 
I'd tell...

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I can't do this anymore
I've been trying to be batter
But The day I kill myself 
Then maybe your understand me

I can't get this fake happiness 
How long have I've been down here?
How long until someone see me down here?

I can keep writing songs
About me being emotionally vacant
I don't have a pot to piss in
I been feeling like nothing is okay
I hurt myself today I was still numb

...

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I'm stuck here sitting here staring at the ceiling wishing I could just get lost into her voice. None of you idiots realize how lucky you are the hear her because she's a cosmic beauty and I am just lost, lonely I've been this way for 4 years now. I know it is my fault but dammit I made her a promise until I pass away I'd wait for her.The worst part about it is I worry about her and ask myself eve...

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Love has completely destroyed my health and I let it. I know I'll die from this. I wouldn't have it any other way, I never dated anyone after her it would of just ended with me leaving them because they wasn't her. Love is waiting for that ship to sail back into the lighthouse, knowing it may never comeback but you waited. Even when everyone told you to give up and move on. Your heart was unique e...

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Listen I'll never be a hero
A hero could never do the awful things I've done
See I've lose everything I loved
I'll never see the days when I'll be happy 
So I'll run from the darkness that's in the light

Just look at how far I've when 
I tried to kill myself 
I only failed because 
The bullet jammed the gun
So don't tell me I should move on
I put my passion in waiting for her 

I hav...

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This was slowly realizing
You are never going to be anyone's
Just another lonely shell
Singing the only song you know

https://youtu.be/fOy1esPEc08

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With vacuumed lips shut
She stood on the twilight 
Mirroring the stars

Long forgetting society rules
She was wild in her rain boots
Never raindrop a has touch this planet
She insisted that she needed them

For the chorus of angels wood 
Could be heard from her perch
There was heaven in her smile

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I've been trying to fix myself
It takes a moment for
My mind to realize that clairvoyance
Isn't something you get by waiting

My authenticity was challenged
I can't wipe this clean
I'll hold onto little thoughts
Like those days she felt comfortable in my hands

How could she put one foot out the door
When she was my everything 
I wish I could come out with the right idioms
She looks a...

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As the horns blasted with vigor
We header the fright of death close at hand
With the cultist shivering with chills
Hopelessly blood curdle inside

We were the generation disturbed and lost
Without a voice to hold the standards
We were the generation 
That knew war better then anyone

The wise man never listened he wasn't wise
He was pollution holding us down
Only led by the greed that ...

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Trapped in a solid moment of time
Unable to exhale the new beginning
It feel like drowning but it wasn't
It was twilight crashes upon the sky
Beautifully destructive calming ways
She brought peace with her coat of wonder

She was awkward but perfectly made for the job
The devil can never have her tongue
For she was knowledgeably exquisite
The way she played with her syllables
Intelligen...

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So unhinged from the edges
Timeless in its own peaceful actions
It was beautiful but also 
Hopelessness in a moment

Objecting itself upon the stars
This was a plague but one of love
It was so squared into its own shadows
To fit into a mold that it was not

How was I supposed to fit into this 
When I was just the ghost monument
Writing the pages never humming the words
There would be ...

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You were the monument
What love should always look like
For the kisses I used to have
Was Whispers of my love

So now that you're gone
I'll sleep a lot more than dream
Only about you because
That was the only time I was happy

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I'm just a vacant void 
Sketched in the window
Longing to be loved 
But already forgotten

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How about I try and settle the score
Motivation decaying into ecstasy
What a hell of a drug to get lost on
Let's drop it all off

I've tallied up all the wrongs
You won't like the results
I finally found the worst words to tell you
This goggle for Joy doesn't look so oppressive now
Let's drop it all off

I can't remember your name after tonight
If I could just let you walk in my shoes
...

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I've been sleeping way too much
My days are starting to blend together
My goddamn depression is winning 
Social distancing is killing me
The city looks like a goddamn ghost town

My social anxiety is back
I can't stay like this for much longer
I'm losing my mind sitting in this chair
All my horrible fucking thoughts
Is starting to catch up

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I have two syllables and they're all for you
You made me emotionally vacant
Take all my pictures down
You child-abusing drug horror
You're the reason I tried killing myself

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I'm barely holding 
All my pieces from fell apart
The day you walked out the door
Excuse me for using other girls
That numbness you left me with this killing me

Can we vanish in this bed
Before my honesty starts pouring out
I'm an broken heart that will never fix itself
So take off your clothes
We both know where this ends

I'm not going to tell you I love you
I want you to be someon...

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Let's get to the bases
Most of the people 
I hang out with hates me
I don't need validation from them

No one really wants to hear
What you're really going through
Without their opinion
I'm not craving for your attention
So please just let me speak

It feels like I'm suffocating on my own words
God I got to get away from this town
Move to the rainy shores of Washington

(Washington)

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So with roses burning in mustard gas
I inhale with purpose
To hold her hand in the panic

So close your eyes 
April is coming with rain and tears
Clinging to it falls on deaf ears
Suffocate on violently loving him

So can you feel anything?
So is it hollow inside without a sign of love? 
Can the sleeping Hollow posture inside your skin?
All these questions but no answers from you?

S...

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I was spitting up idioms
Explain how lonely I've been feeling
Everyone breaks promises
I'd rather die than give up on her

So can you tell me what heaven is
I don't believe in it anymore
If I put a bag around my head will you tired off?
I know this is the opposite of being attractive
Because it's self-pity suffocation

So can I burn all the evidence that let us
Counting sheep in haunte...

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I admit it I'm Petty
Do you want me to write about it
I'd rather bite my finger and go cackling
I'm not going to write a love poem 
God knows I'll do that when I get drunk

If I was drunk I'd probably 
Say something like this
Can you stop speaking 
I get lost in your voice
Yes your blue hair looks lovely on you

God I hate you for being you 
I love everything about you 
It hurts so m...

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I know this is not what you wanted to hear
I'm here on the bridge thinking
What's my reasons of not jumping
I can't think of that many
If I jump today who would really miss me

Don't think back on me
The water was cold and refreshing
Hopefully I get lost and no one finds my body
You can't save me now
Thank you for all the love and support
You didn't fail I just couldn't live anymore

...

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I just want to fix this world 
But you want me dying
So where are you going 
Goddamn my soul for loving anyone

Don't tell god I gave my soul away
I just want to be happy 
So why can't I just love myself

Let's go be be someone else 
Ripping our faces off like Nicolas Cage
There's too many fingers in the pot
So pull the hammer back

Don't tell god I gave my soul away
I just want to ...

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Who are you to throw me under the bus
When I keep every dirty secret you had
I walked on eggshells around you
It was suffocating knowing you get piss easy

So why do you have to make me feel low
Every time he yells at you about me
If you want me to be an asshole I can
All I see is your lies now
You use everyone until they're not use to you

You cheat more than him anyway
Maybe I should...

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Happiness tasted like cigarettes with a
Six pack of Milwaukee's best on her lips
I always wanted that to be my future
I miss them days I laid beside you 

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I'm worse than what I'm showing 
I hope that doesn't get to you
Because this pain is starting to make me cry
Death would fix this pain and I need that
I can't take this anymore 

The tears are adding up 
So what should I do 
Everyone knows I'm too stubborn to give up on her
So what should I do 
I don't want to feel anymore

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So what happened to the boy
Who wore the bag on his head
He didn't care about being in love
Human concept was flawed
Now he's dying to hold a hand

So now he's white lighters
Tip to his chest for a heart attack to come
So swear me off 
The best part of me was yours
Now it's plaster to the wall

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So this is hyperventilating 
On the thoughts of never fitting in
I'm in my upper twenties now 
I'm still thinking this way
God damn what's wrong with me?

I've been so busy trying to find a way to tell you
My unpopular opinions 
I've been thinking I'm better off dead
If I mention this they say don't do it
Well I'm bloody tired pretending a vacant smile

So this is hyperventilating 
On...

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Fabulously I'm undertaking 
This goddamn depression of mine
I could go for a cigarette or two
Haven't smoked in a goddamn week
This is the worst I've been since that night in February

A walking disaster with no purpose to go on
All you bastards with happy minds
Can just go fuck off
I'm done with you bragging about how good life is
So take me in the back and put a bullet like Old Yeller

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I'm just a coffee dreamer away
I would give anything to just hold your hand and drink
See I've lost every woman that I've ever loved
I can't afford to lose you or I'll lose faith in love
This bleeding romantic might die

This is based off that song that you sent me
I'll finally get the time to write this
I'm just a coffee dreamer away
I'm not going to make it past September
I wish I coul...

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My hobbies are thinking in circles
Signs of a melancholy mind
What a joke?

I don't what to live my life
Also I never want to die
So cover the sounds of kids dying
With a happy sunset all you like
Hope is hell

We all know death is coming
But this is my pocket of time
Nothing is good but the bad is mine
So see the lights why you still can

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I can't do this anymore
It feels like the world's against me
When I start to win I lose
So if I go back to self mutilation
Would you even cry a tear

4 years has finally got to me
I gave everything but it still empty
I'm just not good enough for you
Time is passing me by 

Will I always be alone
I thought I found my soulmate
Just to end up here again
Could you please hold on 
I'm a ...

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It's some type of cruel fate
That someone has to be alone
Don't go I think I want to call you
My soulmate so please don't go
The hurt feels like a overdose
So let me be alone

I hate the name I was born with
I want to be more like a boy
They all call me queer
They tell me to grow my hair out
I guess six years of this and I'm still not me

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I wish I wasn't
The question still remains
Dose he fall back 
Dose he let her in 
He wasn't always like this 
This isn't that kind of poem

He hated the skin he was in
But life was okay 
Mother would kick him because
No no no this isn't that kind of poem 
This isn't a poem at all 
More like rehab for the mind

Here's some quick reality
You can't have funeral without the word fun
Sa...

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No oh no I'm just a pair of legs
Has anyone seen my torso it's
So imperative that I need it
I cannot find a way of leisure
So unfunny I'll never make you laugh
With my emo boys Toms
I'll pretend that I can make you laugh
Can't have them thinking that I'm happy
That would be off brand 
I've been working on for two years 
This would ruined me
What is humour?

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I feel like life is not meant to be
I'll sleep in the cold outside
I'm slipping into my gloom
They would say I'm too young to die
Tell the truth I'm sick of being alive

This melancholy has drained me dry
I don't want to breath if I'm alone tonight
The end of my world will be soon
So come in help me fucking die 
I hate myself more and more
It's knot okay 

You don't have to live with ...

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I believed in every word you said
It only brought me sad nights alone
So if the sky was on fire would you think of me
Because you picked a man that 
Couldn't love you more then me 

The ashes of the letters I tried to write you
My mind couldn't think of the words
That my tongue was throwing out
So kept these as our little secret
I think you were the one and only
Four years now you have ...

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I don't want to feel like this 
The pain never ends 
So can you please just understand 
That I'm fading into the nothingness 
Please don't get mad at me 

The blood comes up 
It's just a new day 
But they feel all the same 
So can you please help me 
I can't keep this up no more
I'm losing faith in myself again

Tomorrow is too far away 
It feeling like my lugs are trying to stop 
I...

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It was a body in the sea
Grieving mother in the sand
A situation no one wanted to see
The blood add up soaking the clothes
It was an emotional affair she shouldn't feel

He was only 12 
A parent should never feel this 
I hopeless feeling so gone 
How could anyone be happy 
This was the saddest day in this small town

It was a body in the sea
Grieving mother in the sand
A situation no...

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So you want the American dream
Picket fence an family that loves you 
The American dream is dead  
We gave the government the gun

So don't even try to make an American living
The senate doesn't give a damn about you
So pick your peppers but were the terrorists now

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I'm a little over worked 
People don't love anymore
People just want sympathy from their statuses
If you have a real problem your causing drama
I know this is a little insensitive
I know I'm Hell bound but I don't care about it

I don't want to die to learn how to fly
Lately I just want to say bye
Could you understand 
The motivations behind the lines

Every spouse I've ever loved left
...

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