Mind Words
I have this Melancholy It's like chipped puzzle pieces
Don't tell me I'll will get over it I'm 26
With crippling issues that I can take care of
People tell me to forget about it
I got a heart full of heartache
Of abuse and suffering and I can't forget about it
The leaves are falling but the times don't change
Everyone has an answer to your problem they've never lived
Sunday 13th December 2020 3:55 pm
Words of The Waiting Man The END!
I hope you know
I don't hate you
I just feel sorry for you
All the mind games
You're going to die alone
Wolf in sheep clothing that is what you are
Everyone you've hurt is starting to see the wolf
For every action has made there's a concert
Thursday 3rd December 2020 6:14 am
Black Hair, Black Nails And A Lot of Teenage Angst
There's no rest for the wicked when I'm cradling death
I'm on the edge of self-harming again
This is a race to heaven then I'll surely come in last
Because I'm hell-born and I'm surely not going to lie
I damn the Holy Spirit and I surely not glad about it
I can't go into a church without bursting into laughter
So I'm hell looking for an angel to grab
Saturday 21st November 2020 2:38 am
My Last Words For The Year.
The contracts of what makes love
It's so not online it is so unnatural
Force it on to someone
When being accepted is far from easy
Love is difficult to actually learn how to
When you get it it's easy to master
It is the broken stairs to repurpose
The flaws in your head that make you wonder
We always sell broken or did it happen over time
Authentic love is a true expression
Wednesday 18th November 2020 9:45 pm
Paralyzed
I'm paralyzed by the lights
I'm slowly slumbering into lights
I tried to march to my own beat
I'm ashamed of what I've become
Monday 16th November 2020 2:01 am
You Can Blame It All On Me
Can you tell me how far it goes
I'm just trying to keep myself alive
I lost myself in your eyes
This crippling depression has taken over again
So blame me for all your worries
I'll never be anything more than a regret
Did you understand this today
I want to pass away in my sleep
Please understand I fucking want to stop
God I hate myself so much
The pain never goes away
Don't tell me ...
Saturday 7th November 2020 2:57 am
Imaginary Friends
Been running from my responsibility
Everything got dark and I lost my vision of myself
The antidote was always in my fingertip
Nothing makes me sober than the past
I won't be a culture vulture of punk
I won't tell a man that he can't wear a dress
I will burn all the institutions that this culture made
I was the kid that got beat up by the punks
Because I was too sad for them
The go...
Monday 26th October 2020 1:01 am
Mother
I think I truly hate Halloween
It was the last day I saw my mother
She packed her bags and left
I have a couple of issues that I'll never fix
I'll keep Nirvana Rape Me on replay
Mentally, sexually and physically abused
So tonight I ask why do I miss her
After a head full of trauma
Sometimes I wish I could be fixed
The wound that she left has never healed
I still have broken ribs and...
Saturday 24th October 2020 2:11 am
Anti-depression
God is falling into insanity
The anti-depression medicine
Is screaming for attention
The paranoia is all I know
I"m looking for something more
My thighs were made for scars
Suicidal thoughts have me thinking
That cutting myself is my savior from them
Please don't let me fall into the thoughts
Holy paper burning away from me
The demons are heavier than you think
God is falling i...
Thursday 22nd October 2020 9:06 pm
Corpses In My Bed
I'm on a bottle of anti-depression
Have a couple of people
That is crashing on me
I look in a mirror but I only see ugly
So why do they want me?
I spent almost a whole year
Reflecting on my bad Behavior
Trying to apologize for it
Pushing people out
I can't even do that right
I hate that people ask to see my face more
If you saw it, it would only call it ugly
So why show it to t...
Wednesday 21st October 2020 4:04 am
Puppets
You're all addicted to social media
Share your memes and your stupid quotes
We're all depressed but no one wants to talk about it
So take the mask off you're the problem with yourself
Don't tell the world how you truly feel
Burn your existence and leave your soul
We're all puppets for corporations
Why we stay poor and in debt
Only you can free yourself
You stay in you're boring cycl...
Thursday 15th October 2020 4:41 am
Cry Baby
I can't do this anymore
I've been watching everyone I love
Being abused by their heads
I can't take it anymore
I'm the cry baby
The emotional wreck
The black sheep of the family
I'm the cry baby
So put down the drugs
It's not helping anymore
I won't let my worries kill me
I'm anxious again wanting to cry
Oh I'm a cry baby now
I'm the cry baby
With a face full of make ...
Wednesday 14th October 2020 7:12 am
A Kingdom On The Moon Lyrics
Look inside the moon
Can you tell that its vitals are fine
It's been a while since it's been a while since
I could hold my head up fine
Don't hate my ways
It's under the skin now
Could you forget my name
I've seen the godless goddess
Hold your head to the sun
We're all non-believers now
I've been forgetting the lights
Under the mountain of shit, you said
Broken bottles in her...
Monday 5th October 2020 3:16 am
A Letter To The Past
A thick layer of cold pressing my body
I know it's only me now
All the nights I spent without you
Made me realize that I was better without you
You're right I am the best guy you ever date
I spent four years waiting for you
you would have never done the same for me
She never really cared
It took me four whole years to face the truth
You don't love me you only care about yourself
Now I'...
Friday 2nd October 2020 6:25 pm
Ribbons From Christ
You can call yourself
I'm burning from the 2nd floor
Can you hear me?
God is gone to a better place
Please don't hold the wave
Please don't hold the wave
I am coming down
I cut myself today
I let the blood dry up
Picked the crest just to see if I would bleed again
Something in the way you say you're okay
Makes me want to end it
So cut the tie today
Please don't hold the...
Saturday 26th September 2020 7:26 am
Game of Flies
How did you get so lonely?
With all that dirt under your nose
She the devil one touch of her clitoris
You'll be in love and let her toxic waste pour into you
She's refusing to take responsibility for her actions
She's a psychopath without even asking
She's Courtney Love without the fame
She likes sex more than she likes to admit
She will fuck the new guy before she breaks up with you
...
Saturday 26th September 2020 3:37 am
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
She was the woman that fought for the nameless
She was an icon too many
She was a trailblazer
She may not be here anymore
She should always be remembered
She fought for equal rights
She was the Notorious RBG
Saturday 19th September 2020 2:52 am
Firefly Truth?
You're the type of girl
That can make me jealous
I don't want to see another boy around your waist
You pick snitches and cheaters you
Haven't had a real man in so long
Don't get me wrong I was the absolutely worse back then
I've changed a lot since then
So how long are you going to pull these poor boys strings?
The truth is I know you more than you like
I know you're devious
Yo...
Friday 18th September 2020 9:29 pm
Life Story
I can’t do this anyone
I can’t keep lying to myself
I’ve been walking but my feet is bleeding
So hold right there
I’m pessimistic without an rainy day
So what’s the awareness I’m looking for
I’ve been playing with the end
So you win I can’t keep these up
I can’t breath anymore
I’ve saved some friends from the end
But they wouldn’t do the same
Thursday 17th September 2020 5:07 am
Soy Sauce Flavor
It's okay to be over emotional
To all the people that calls you toxic
That really shows their maturity
Running in circles like they're an ass
They can never understand being an emotional wreck 24/7
You beg for suicidal thoughts to end
There forever until you stop breathing
I'm not weak I have to deal with Suicidal Thoughts every week
So I'm braver than most I haven't took my life yet
I've...
Tuesday 15th September 2020 9:40 pm
Boys
Boys don't get hurt
Boys don't have feelings
Boys can't be the abused
Shut your mouth right now
Boys can't be sexually abused
Boys can't be abuse by females
Boys Don't struggle with depression
Shut your mouth right now
Boys don't have abandonment issues
Boys don't have panic attacks
If they do there're labeled week
Stay strong don't let them get to you
You're allowed to have emotio...
Tuesday 8th September 2020 12:39 am
The End Soon
I just wish I was everything you wanted
I wish the devil didn't sour the air
You're like chalk on a chalkboard
Your toothpick stabbing in my foot
I hate myself for loving you more than you could love me
I"ve only wanted your hand in forever
The slightest bit of red in my carport
I'm a fork in an electrical socket
I can't be the same without you
I know the end it's happy
It's me al...
Saturday 5th September 2020 8:31 pm
No Smoking In The Coffee Shop
All I wanted to do
Was spend every day with you
To hell with that, you had to leave
To hell with that, you had to leave
I wanted to spend every day
By the fire holding your hand
It's been about four years now
Time not been nice for us
So could you understand it's all fine
Autumn's coming and I'll fall with the leaves
I'm going away for a long for a long
All I wanted to do
W...
Friday 4th September 2020 8:39 pm
Light By Death
I'm becoming so jaded
That the green is oozing out of my skin
I don't know what love is
I've never been shown it
I can't fix myself
I stop the PTSD turner into another anxiety attack
I just want to stop breathing
So the pain can fade
If I could just turn my brain off
I don't care if you love me
Please just go away
I've got two weeks
Until the world stops
I'll never be o...
Friday 4th September 2020 8:09 am
Words of The Waiting Man 35
Listen to melancholy chemicals
It's like a candle burning on both ends
I never know when to let go until I'm already burnt
The crumbling foundation is all I have left
The scenery will change but I'll still feel the same
Thursday 3rd September 2020 12:42 am
Attachment Anxiety
This abandonment issues
Has my attachment anxiety
Oozing out like a black sludge
If you show me, love
I'm holding on forever
I don't know how to let go
You know you'll mess with
My head until I break again
Wednesday 2nd September 2020 1:20 am
Dear Me
The illusion that you're living
Patty and desperate for attention
The conditions that you wanted is not meant
Your broken wings won't get you far
You have a problem with moving on
Darling, you think you wrote the rules to the game
I had to spell check them so I know better
The fabrics that hold your delusions together is ripping
I thought you said that you matured
Monday 31st August 2020 4:40 am
Firefly Crying Skies
I know times are dark right now
But it's okay to be sad
Even the sky cries tonight
So don't be scared to cry
We all see someone
In memories, we will live forever
So talk about them until daybreak's
It's okay to be alone in the dark
I will always be here
I know she's not physically here anymore
She's still alive in your mind
With that, she lives forever in you
All the colours in...
Saturday 29th August 2020 8:52 pm
Forest Fire
I admitted that my wrongs
I let them beat me to the ground
You can't see the end without drowning
The misery is all you're ever know
How is misery treating you it's treating me well
It's show and tell dear
I'll let you go first
My turn is going to take all-day
The abuse, the lying all of it
Built a wall to not trust anyone
I apologize about a thousand times
When you just got pi...
Monday 24th August 2020 8:48 pm
He
He'll never be good enough for her
He asked her why she had to leave
He was willing to do anything just anything
To keep her close and never let go
He wanted to marry her and get lost in a small family
He wanted to prove to her that he truly love her
He slowly went into figuring out that
He was ever going to be good enough
He loved her too much
He was always there for her no matter w...
Thursday 20th August 2020 6:21 pm
Inside Me
Why can't you understand
The best of us is dying
So don't look into the dark
As my broken body rots
I see the light burning into the holes
No one will understand how you breath
So what keeps you moving
I've never been important to anyone
So how could I fix myself
When no one took the time to see me
I'm shaking at unshakable
So here is my last word
Please tell me
Please tel...
Wednesday 19th August 2020 9:17 pm
Space Cowboy (Bad Cowboy)
When did I become the void
The air is becoming shortening
So there is no way out
Hold me now I can't see the light
I"ve become the hollow
No raindrops on my head
I"ve become the hollow
I am here on my own
Do you hear it space cowboy
Father is home
Now we all will feel his pain
Bang
The Sinners will die there's no dents need it this time
Sunday 16th August 2020 1:51 am
Capital O.L,D M,E
I've been trying to get my head up like a buoy
It's no use I'm drowning already
I'm lost at sea
Throwing up from the vertical
I didn't lie when I told you
I loved you but you surely did
You broke all of your promises
Didn't even flinch from it
It would have been easier if you killed me
Because I loved you
I tried to be everything for you
Like always I'm never good enough
Sew ...
Tuesday 11th August 2020 12:14 am
Cloak
I can't fix this
The cloak doesn't stop
I'm alone in this room
So one more fight, one more fight
I'll call this done
I'll never find my way home
So let me bleed out, it's okay
Tonight I'm alone with my demons
I've never been obsessed with anything but my death
I can't forgive myself oh I can't forgive myself
The thoughts are so overwhelming
I'm so sorry
I can't fix this
...
Wednesday 5th August 2020 5:35 pm
CUT
One more cut won't hurt
One more cut I"ll see I am still alive
One more cut and no one will know
One more cut I can be happy
One more cut that's all I need
One more cut so I won't be numb
One more cut and it will be my last
One more cut I can forget her name
One more cut that's all I need please don't be mad
Sunday 2nd August 2020 7:12 pm
these days it's really hard to get the words I need to say out
I let you use me
Have your way
You still didn't stay
The memories make me want to die
Why won't you stay
I told you no
But you still had your way
I just don't want to be alone
If you would stay
I don't want to be alone
Goddammit I'm a product of abuse
It doesn't feel good
Set my world on fire
I'm not obsessed with you
I'm obsessed with not dying alone
I'll let you ...
Saturday 1st August 2020 10:09 pm
No Where But Down
Suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide diving suicide di...
Saturday 1st August 2020 5:14 am
4/12
Bullshit you miss me
Why does it always have to be this way
I never told you it would be easy
You hate me but I love the way you lie
Friday 31st July 2020 9:09 pm
3/12
Self harm until you hit the bone
It's okay love isn't real
We are all faking it just to have some company
So does the moon shine as bright as I
How is acting like I don't exist going for you
Thursday 30th July 2020 5:26 pm
2/12
The only thing you wanted
But you could have
You When to hell but you still failed
Does it look good when you cry now
Becuase it's not fair
So I don't see firefly light
I'm shining too hard
Thursday 30th July 2020 2:43 am
1/12
The moon had a girl
The sun had a boy
The love died and the diver
Let the fire burn his body
Sunday 26th July 2020 10:03 pm
Broken Heart 3
I don't want to waste your precious time
It's unfair that you think it's all about you
Did you ever ask how I feel
I know you never apologized
For all the times you slipped up
I could never truly believe you
Best that we went our separate ways
Because you're a fucking monster and I'm a demon
You living in lies and thinking it's fairy tales
I want the fancier things in life
You want t...
Saturday 25th July 2020 3:11 am
Selfish // Kindness
I've been responding in all the wrong ways
I've simply just an idiot
Trying to make everyone laugh
For my sins are carved into my skin
We never want to be evil or cruel
I know that all humankind can be
The human race hates change
The only time we can grow is when we'er uncomfortable
We let fear take over are mind
So we let people weaponize with our fears
We become the monsters
Thursday 25th June 2020 7:27 pm
Melancholy
I know this isn't what you want to hear
I know my mind doesn't make sense right now
I've been questioning if I should even go on
I've been so numb
I think after July I'll say goodbye
I don't see anything getting better
I've been abused in every way
No one gets a shit about the grave I've been digging
I know you don't read my poems
So you don't have to act like you do
See I'm just...
Saturday 20th June 2020 10:49 pm
I've been enjoying the death of my mind and it's clear for everyone can see
Wednesday 17th June 2020 5:06 am
Fight For Love
His just trying to make it home
They call him faggot for wearing makeup
Tell him to be more masculine
No wonder he wants to end his life
Unfortunately we all suffer from depression
In the cages that the government sets for us
You can protest for something better
They're shoot you with a rubber bullet and call you a monster
It's contagious that baby boomers never had it bad
Their parent...
Friday 12th June 2020 3:16 am
Peaceful Days 2
Mentally abused all his life
So he cuts himself to fill if he's alive
They say suicide is not a way to go
He's never known what love Is
Never good enough for everyone
Where was his peaceful days?
Monday 1st June 2020 4:21 pm
Peaceful
Just three weeks ago I had you in my arms
I still ask for commission to take off your clothes
You said yes and my mind was peaceful
We were both naked in my bed
You wanted sex but I didn't
Now I'm lonely
Wasting away inside my mind
How could you kiss me
And think that it wouldn't Fuck with me
You Firefly as why I want to die
I don't have peaceful days I just have nightmares
Do you...
Saturday 30th May 2020 3:31 am
Whatever Happens, Happens
Today I thought about killing myself
I found myself not good enough
I don't think anyone would miss me
Don't get me wrong
I hate that funniest guy in the room is the saddest
Everyone I've ever met I've made them chuckle
I can't think of anything positive
My whole body is going numb
I've become the thing I hate
Fully died inside
There isn't a anything there anymore
All I think about...
Tuesday 26th May 2020 4:42 pm
happiness
She kissed me only to go again
Why can't I be the one
This is all I think about
She has killed the happiness fully this time
Tuesday 26th May 2020 3:57 pm
Sweetie
Nothing is forever
You can love her as long as you live
Even when she doesn't care about you
She can be the woman that kills you
She'll still be forgiven
If you love her you'll never be angry at her
You will never lie to her
Even if it hurts her feelings
The thing about it is
Even when no one hears her
You always know what she said
If she was invisible as you would still see her
W...
Saturday 23rd May 2020 3:06 am
Melancholy Relapse
I can't say this anywhere else
I wish you would have picked me
I wish I was good enough for her
I just wanted to be everything she wanted
I messed up and I lost her again
Why can't I just be good enough
Why dose everyone pick someone over me
I just want to be someone's everything
No I'm sentenced to a lonely life
I've never known what love Is
I guess I'll die alone not knowing what it is
...
Friday 22nd May 2020 2:26 am
Lunar Eclipse
It was two souls burning on separate ends
Completely obsessed with finding each other
When they did they exploded
Not in love but anger for each other
The other was not there when they needed each other
They was broken souls not to be found
They could have made love but they started the fire
Burning each other at the opposite ends again
They were lovers but they could never be together
Af...
Thursday 21st May 2020 6:20 pm
Space Cowboy (Listen!)
In the end you get tired of struggling
To keep everyone you love safe
Just for them to leave you in the end
Everything dies and I'm accepting this now
Can't save everyone
So to the girl with the raindrop boots
I'll leave you here on this planet of angels
One last battle the fight after this
There is no regeneration after this
I will stop running and I will die
Bang!
Everything will...
Wednesday 20th May 2020 2:43 pm
The Lonely Goddesses Lover
Everyone has to have a loved one
I am slowly finding out
I was not waiting for fireflies
What I found out that even loneliness
Deserves to have a romantic partner in life
I'll be eternally alone I won't be sad or depressed
Even she deserves a hand to hold
I will give loneliness a partner to be with
So she does not affect anyone else's life
Her whole life she's been feared
Everyone fear...
Tuesday 19th May 2020 5:12 pm
If you feel alone, look at the moon.
In the darkest shade of blue possible
I told you I loved you
On a cold October night
I promised you I'd wait
You promised your hand
When the sun is in the highest of the sky
I'll close my eyes for the last time
Monday 18th May 2020 11:04 pm
The Honeymoon Phase Is Just A Sentence To Death
I won't lie to make her feel better
I'd rather tell her the truth
If that hurt her feelings at least I didn't lie
She's tell me to fuck off
I'll keep telling her words she don't want to hear
That he lied to her for three years
He'll become pure toxic to her
It only takes them a couple months
To show their true colors
Monday 18th May 2020 1:49 pm
Vengeance is The Best Motivator
For the first time in years
I have no path to follow
No road to hell just just a reflecting on my life
It's time for me to be who I am
Not a mortar not jaded but who I really am
Let's live life proper this time
Maybe one day I'll go looking for that road again
Until then I'm going to be the best me
I'm not the same person I was 4 years ago
If you don't want me willingly
It's best for ...
Sunday 17th May 2020 4:57 pm
Love Won't Save You
Some things you can't change
Like the form of reality touching your skin
Being all alone isn't that bad
Reflecting on your life
Picking out the things that you did wrong
It's okay how long will you keep the lie alive
That your life is perfectly fine without me
Every time I go you end up a mess
I guess if you want me gone I'll leave
Sunday 17th May 2020 12:40 pm
Routines
The sounds of creamy white milk
Pouring over the cereal
Was so absolutely depressing
This is the basic of life
We will all die nothing left to it
These anti Melancholy pills
Are getting harder to swallow
https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIo
Friday 15th May 2020 10:45 pm
Doomed
My mental state is starting to break again
I think it was just seeing her
Said it before she's the Joker to my Harley
So can you tell her the burden me
I think I'm desperate to find a poison ivy
I'm drowning here awake
Gargling tar in my lungs
It doesn't shine the way it used to
I think I like the abuse
I think I confused it for love all the time
The worst you treat me the more I love yo...
Friday 15th May 2020 4:39 pm
Under and Out
I've been laying in bed
Feeling like I was sinking
Into the arms of Lucifer
I cannot call out I cannot say a word
From my mind is tricked me
Into believing this is the end
Hand to hold this is the end
Thursday 14th May 2020 7:59 pm
The Quarantine Doesn’t Make It Better
She swore that she was in love
It was only the butterflies
False delusions of grandeur
She told the world lies
If her lover knew the truth
It would destroy the illusion of love
I highly doubt she will ever speak a word of it
This will be all over soon
Tuesday 12th May 2020 12:54 pm
Mother Day
I believe that all
My problems go back to you
Cut me down in my misery
Left the body rotting to the vultures
You got your drugs in your veins
Every breath slowly tarnished my mind
The agony underneath always will last
Oh mother look what you've done
Faith and love is non-existent
I don't believe anyone should care for me
It's okay I never expected you to love me
After all you aband...
Sunday 10th May 2020 8:28 am
Autumn Winds Twisting Secrets
Don't counterfeit yourself from the truth
Most people are only
Looking out for their own interests
So expect the worst from them
That way they can't hurt you
Friday 8th May 2020 10:39 am
You're Gonna Carry That Weight
Love is crashing into the stars
Knowing that this isn't permanent
Only the making of something better.
Thursday 7th May 2020 2:17 pm
Firefly Would I?
Would you sell your soul to her?
Would you give everything to protector?
Would you love her when she's put your heart through hell?
Would you truly listen to her conversations?
Would you do anything to make sure that she's appreciated?
I would and never look back,
All I wanted was her.
When she left I don't think she heard me say.
Don't go!
Wednesday 6th May 2020 10:44 am
831 (8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning)
Don't tell me that you love me
When you're just going to walk out
Don't tell me that you cared
When your actions show differently
I told you I'd wait here a hundred years
I didn't tell you I've been time traveling
To find out a lonely bleak future
I highly doubt you could grasp
I never go into the past
For the cravings of changing would always last
I thought I found a way to tell you
I ...
Tuesday 5th May 2020 6:11 am
Fifteen
Closure is for the lucky ones
When she passes away there's no closure
I was fifteen I did not know how to handle the pain
All the self-abuse in the world
Couldn't not numb that pain
I begged for the ending to be changed
There is no going back to normal
Monday 4th May 2020 12:47 pm
Blue Cafe
The most beautiful demented sounds
Are those that you cover your eyes
You still felt a crunching of the bone dripping out
This is not a concept for love
More of a step back
Violently holding yourself rocking back and forth
Tell yourself that everything is okay
You're only in shock after all
The physical pain will go away
Mentally you always be scarred
This moment will not fade
It's ...
Sunday 3rd May 2020 12:00 pm
The Longing For Answers
Who am I to you
I waited but still it's not me
I wanted but still I am fading
You told me not to say goodbye
For what I need to know now
Why am I still here waiting on you
I am nothing but a confused child now
Asking why did I come back if you did not want me?
Sunday 3rd May 2020 9:26 am
The Death
The question always remains
If suffocate myself on this
Means that love is what destroys me
Will you be okay at taking a life
I'm desperate for your hand
You're dead set on killing me
So crash my heart into dust
It's okay it's just who you are
I can't live like this anymore
I'm breaking into shards
I think anyone can put me together
I've been thinking mother was right
That no on...
Saturday 2nd May 2020 4:45 am
No He's Dead
I don't know what to do anymore
All I want is to be her everything
But I feel that I am forevr to be lost
For all I am is a phantom now
Begging for her to see me
The truth will change everything
Why did you refuse my goodbyes
Just to break me apart
I'm fully lost and scared now
I told you I can't be friends
So what am I supposed to do now?
Suffocate on the memories of you like o...
Friday 1st May 2020 11:54 am
Phantom
Have I became a phantom
Fading from your mind
Or is my heart not tied in right
Check under your cabinets
I'm just a phantom
I feel so ignorant for loving you
When I knew you were just hurt me again
I know this is stupid of me
I was really hoping that you could just love me
Was is it that I can't be important to anyone
Do you get it yet?
I blame myself for everything
I beat myself u...
Wednesday 29th April 2020 11:32 am
Goodbye
I wish I was the person you love the most, I was just a bitterblossom that was growing under the concrete that you never checked to see if I was alive, if you mentally recorded my emotions on your heart, then maybe you would understand that I was lonely slowly falling into the deep void of depression, I spent so much time worrying about how you are feeling and how you were, you were my oxygen my w...
Saturday 25th April 2020 11:54 pm
The Outcasts
I'm writing a different story now
The waiting man found a different purpose
He doesn't need someone's hand to hold
He doesn't want to make the world a better place
He just wants to enjoy the company that he gets
The friends that actually matter to him that check up on him
The outcasts the outcasts
The Forsaken the Damned the bastardized
People that doesn't give to go to parties or drink mu...
Thursday 23rd April 2020 9:11 am
Escaping
I believe love could save me
In the end it was pain
That showed me how to life
Misery relieved me from hope
If I still believed in you
I would of never left the lighthouse
Wednesday 22nd April 2020 10:58 pm
Close
Blood on my hands
Death in my back pocket
Some days feel so far away
The night I told you I loved you
I was numb from social anxiety
So where are you now
So how far do I have to go
How dose this end now
She was the end of me
Whispering me to sleep
Until she took my heart
Now I'll never sleep again
How many days have passed me by
Since I could see straight
This is the en...
Wednesday 15th April 2020 11:40 pm
Glass
How do I drown without emerging in myself in water?
I can't remember the last time
It's not about how full the glass
It's about what's in it
Wednesday 15th April 2020 9:36 am
What The Hell
Trapped in a silent
Only your memory remains
I'm on my knees grabbing at my chest
Worried to death about you
I know that's dumb of me to do
My brain is fuzzy and I can't breathe
I'm in another anxiety attack at 3 AM
I'm thinking about you too hard
I've become sick of crying
I'll just get angry at myself and blame me
What the hell would I be
Without meting you
La la la
They ...
Monday 13th April 2020 8:59 am
Cherry Blossoms
Too late I guess your gone
I am the cherry blossoms
Growing in the back of your mind
I fell into a thousand shards of glass
As you stepped on me
I started to make you bleed
I'm not helpless I can protect myself
You'll come back around next year
To admire the beauty in front of you
Just to bleed yourself dry from it
Friday 10th April 2020 7:39 am
April
How is this fair
I thought you said
There was a happy ending
For people like us
If I never told you to go with your father
You'd be here in my arms
Two days from your 26th birthday
I'm giving into madness
I'm so lonely and depressed
Beating myself up for your death
How can I make it out today
When your ghost is absolutely killing me
I wish I couldn't just turn back time
I'd tell...
Tuesday 7th April 2020 12:02 am
1-800-273-8255
I can't do this anymore
I've been trying to be batter
But The day I kill myself
Then maybe your understand me
I can't get this fake happiness
How long have I've been down here?
How long until someone see me down here?
I can keep writing songs
About me being emotionally vacant
I don't have a pot to piss in
I been feeling like nothing is okay
I hurt myself today I was still numb
...
Monday 6th April 2020 2:19 am
Love/Wait
I'm stuck here sitting here staring at the ceiling wishing I could just get lost into her voice. None of you idiots realize how lucky you are the hear her because she's a cosmic beauty and I am just lost, lonely I've been this way for 4 years now. I know it is my fault but dammit I made her a promise until I pass away I'd wait for her.The worst part about it is I worry about her and ask myself eve...
Sunday 5th April 2020 9:34 am
Love
Love has completely destroyed my health and I let it. I know I'll die from this. I wouldn't have it any other way, I never dated anyone after her it would of just ended with me leaving them because they wasn't her. Love is waiting for that ship to sail back into the lighthouse, knowing it may never comeback but you waited. Even when everyone told you to give up and move on. Your heart was unique e...
Thursday 2nd April 2020 11:06 am
Passion
Listen I'll never be a hero
A hero could never do the awful things I've done
See I've lose everything I loved
I'll never see the days when I'll be happy
So I'll run from the darkness that's in the light
Just look at how far I've when
I tried to kill myself
I only failed because
The bullet jammed the gun
So don't tell me I should move on
I put my passion in waiting for her
I hav...
Monday 30th March 2020 2:26 am
T,O,A,I,D
This was slowly realizing
You are never going to be anyone's
Just another lonely shell
Singing the only song you know
Sunday 29th March 2020 5:05 am
Space Cowboy (Twilight Melody)
With vacuumed lips shut
She stood on the twilight
Mirroring the stars
Long forgetting society rules
She was wild in her rain boots
Never raindrop a has touch this planet
She insisted that she needed them
For the chorus of angels wood
Could be heard from her perch
There was heaven in her smile
Saturday 28th March 2020 8:13 am
Unkind
I've been trying to fix myself
It takes a moment for
My mind to realize that clairvoyance
Isn't something you get by waiting
My authenticity was challenged
I can't wipe this clean
I'll hold onto little thoughts
Like those days she felt comfortable in my hands
How could she put one foot out the door
When she was my everything
I wish I could come out with the right idioms
She looks a...
Thursday 26th March 2020 2:32 am
Theories of a Madman (Experiment 432)
As the horns blasted with vigor
We header the fright of death close at hand
With the cultist shivering with chills
Hopelessly blood curdle inside
We were the generation disturbed and lost
Without a voice to hold the standards
We were the generation
That knew war better then anyone
The wise man never listened he wasn't wise
He was pollution holding us down
Only led by the greed that ...
Wednesday 25th March 2020 7:17 pm
Space Cowboy (the goddess coat
Trapped in a solid moment of time
Unable to exhale the new beginning
It feel like drowning but it wasn't
It was twilight crashes upon the sky
Beautifully destructive calming ways
She brought peace with her coat of wonder
She was awkward but perfectly made for the job
The devil can never have her tongue
For she was knowledgeably exquisite
The way she played with her syllables
Intelligen...
Wednesday 25th March 2020 5:51 am
Space Cowboy (A Ghost Monument)
So unhinged from the edges
Timeless in its own peaceful actions
It was beautiful but also
Hopelessness in a moment
Objecting itself upon the stars
This was a plague but one of love
It was so squared into its own shadows
To fit into a mold that it was not
How was I supposed to fit into this
When I was just the ghost monument
Writing the pages never humming the words
There would be ...
Tuesday 24th March 2020 7:57 am
Firefly Mounment
You were the monument
What love should always look like
For the kisses I used to have
Was Whispers of my love
So now that you're gone
I'll sleep a lot more than dream
Only about you because
That was the only time I was happy
Monday 23rd March 2020 9:17 pm
Window
I'm just a vacant void
Sketched in the window
Longing to be loved
But already forgotten
Monday 23rd March 2020 5:12 am
Biohazard Relationship
How about I try and settle the score
Motivation decaying into ecstasy
What a hell of a drug to get lost on
Let's drop it all off
I've tallied up all the wrongs
You won't like the results
I finally found the worst words to tell you
This goggle for Joy doesn't look so oppressive now
Let's drop it all off
I can't remember your name after tonight
If I could just let you walk in my shoes
...
Sunday 22nd March 2020 8:03 pm
No Halo
I've been sleeping way too much
My days are starting to blend together
My goddamn depression is winning
Social distancing is killing me
The city looks like a goddamn ghost town
My social anxiety is back
I can't stay like this for much longer
I'm losing my mind sitting in this chair
All my horrible fucking thoughts
Is starting to catch up
Saturday 21st March 2020 4:30 am
Drug
I have two syllables and they're all for you
You made me emotionally vacant
Take all my pictures down
You child-abusing drug horror
You're the reason I tried killing myself
Friday 20th March 2020 11:01 pm
Broken Heart 1
I'm barely holding
All my pieces from fell apart
The day you walked out the door
Excuse me for using other girls
That numbness you left me with this killing me
Can we vanish in this bed
Before my honesty starts pouring out
I'm an broken heart that will never fix itself
So take off your clothes
We both know where this ends
I'm not going to tell you I love you
I want you to be someon...
Wednesday 18th March 2020 12:56 am
Never (song lyrics)
Let's get to the bases
Most of the people
I hang out with hates me
I don't need validation from them
No one really wants to hear
What you're really going through
Without their opinion
I'm not craving for your attention
So please just let me speak
It feels like I'm suffocating on my own words
God I got to get away from this town
Move to the rainy shores of Washington
(Washington)
...Monday 16th March 2020 9:52 pm
How Does It Feel?
So with roses burning in mustard gas
I inhale with purpose
To hold her hand in the panic
So close your eyes
April is coming with rain and tears
Clinging to it falls on deaf ears
Suffocate on violently loving him
So can you feel anything?
So is it hollow inside without a sign of love?
Can the sleeping Hollow posture inside your skin?
All these questions but no answers from you?
S...
Sunday 15th March 2020 4:26 am
Nothing Good Here
I was spitting up idioms
Explain how lonely I've been feeling
Everyone breaks promises
I'd rather die than give up on her
So can you tell me what heaven is
I don't believe in it anymore
If I put a bag around my head will you tired off?
I know this is the opposite of being attractive
Because it's self-pity suffocation
So can I burn all the evidence that let us
Counting sheep in haunte...
Saturday 14th March 2020 3:44 pm
Death Bed (Not a Love Poem!)
I admit it I'm Petty
Do you want me to write about it
I'd rather bite my finger and go cackling
I'm not going to write a love poem
God knows I'll do that when I get drunk
If I was drunk I'd probably
Say something like this
Can you stop speaking
I get lost in your voice
Yes your blue hair looks lovely on you
God I hate you for being you
I love everything about you
It hurts so m...
Thursday 12th March 2020 11:38 pm
Stupid Boy
I know this is not what you wanted to hear
I'm here on the bridge thinking
What's my reasons of not jumping
I can't think of that many
If I jump today who would really miss me
Don't think back on me
The water was cold and refreshing
Hopefully I get lost and no one finds my body
You can't save me now
Thank you for all the love and support
You didn't fail I just couldn't live anymore
...
Thursday 12th March 2020 1:19 pm
Sad Trap Bass XD
I just want to fix this world
But you want me dying
So where are you going
Goddamn my soul for loving anyone
Don't tell god I gave my soul away
I just want to be happy
So why can't I just love myself
Let's go be be someone else
Ripping our faces off like Nicolas Cage
There's too many fingers in the pot
So pull the hammer back
Don't tell god I gave my soul away
I just want to ...
Wednesday 11th March 2020 10:04 pm
Petty I am
Who are you to throw me under the bus
When I keep every dirty secret you had
I walked on eggshells around you
It was suffocating knowing you get piss easy
So why do you have to make me feel low
Every time he yells at you about me
If you want me to be an asshole I can
All I see is your lies now
You use everyone until they're not use to you
You cheat more than him anyway
Maybe I should...
Wednesday 11th March 2020 3:26 pm
He Needs Her More Then She Knows
Happiness tasted like cigarettes with a
Six pack of Milwaukee's best on her lips
I always wanted that to be my future
I miss them days I laid beside you
Monday 9th March 2020 3:08 am
I'm worse than what I'm showing
I hope that doesn't get to you
Because this pain is starting to make me cry
Death would fix this pain and I need that
I can't take this anymore
The tears are adding up
So what should I do
Everyone knows I'm too stubborn to give up on her
So what should I do
I don't want to feel anymore
Sunday 8th March 2020 2:58 am
A Disturbing Fear of Bitter Blasphemy Broken Upon All The Wounds 2
So what happened to the boy
Who wore the bag on his head
He didn't care about being in love
Human concept was flawed
Now he's dying to hold a hand
So now he's white lighters
Tip to his chest for a heart attack to come
So swear me off
The best part of me was yours
Now it's plaster to the wall
Thursday 5th March 2020 3:14 am
A Goddamn Vacancy 2
So this is hyperventilating
On the thoughts of never fitting in
I'm in my upper twenties now
I'm still thinking this way
God damn what's wrong with me?
I've been so busy trying to find a way to tell you
My unpopular opinions
I've been thinking I'm better off dead
If I mention this they say don't do it
Well I'm bloody tired pretending a vacant smile
So this is hyperventilating
On...
Tuesday 3rd March 2020 4:13 pm
A Goddamn Vacancy
Fabulously I'm undertaking
This goddamn depression of mine
I could go for a cigarette or two
Haven't smoked in a goddamn week
This is the worst I've been since that night in February
A walking disaster with no purpose to go on
All you bastards with happy minds
Can just go fuck off
I'm done with you bragging about how good life is
So take me in the back and put a bullet like Old Yeller
Tuesday 3rd March 2020 12:57 am
Coffee Dreamer
I'm just a coffee dreamer away
I would give anything to just hold your hand and drink
See I've lost every woman that I've ever loved
I can't afford to lose you or I'll lose faith in love
This bleeding romantic might die
This is based off that song that you sent me
I'll finally get the time to write this
I'm just a coffee dreamer away
I'm not going to make it past September
I wish I coul...
Monday 2nd March 2020 12:50 am
Disassociation
My hobbies are thinking in circles
Signs of a melancholy mind
What a joke?
I don't what to live my life
Also I never want to die
So cover the sounds of kids dying
With a happy sunset all you like
Hope is hell
We all know death is coming
But this is my pocket of time
Nothing is good but the bad is mine
So see the lights why you still can
Thursday 27th February 2020 1:30 am
Soulmate
I can't do this anymore
It feels like the world's against me
When I start to win I lose
So if I go back to self mutilation
Would you even cry a tear
4 years has finally got to me
I gave everything but it still empty
I'm just not good enough for you
Time is passing me by
Will I always be alone
I thought I found my soulmate
Just to end up here again
Could you please hold on
I'm a ...
Saturday 22nd February 2020 8:54 pm
Cruel Fate/Queer
It's some type of cruel fate
That someone has to be alone
Don't go I think I want to call you
My soulmate so please don't go
The hurt feels like a overdose
So let me be alone
I hate the name I was born with
I want to be more like a boy
They all call me queer
They tell me to grow my hair out
I guess six years of this and I'm still not me
Friday 21st February 2020 3:50 am
This Isn't]That Kind of Poem[
I wish I wasn't
The question still remains
Dose he fall back
Dose he let her in
He wasn't always like this
This isn't that kind of poem
He hated the skin he was in
But life was okay
Mother would kick him because
No no no this isn't that kind of poem
This isn't a poem at all
More like rehab for the mind
Here's some quick reality
You can't have funeral without the word fun
Sa...
Monday 17th February 2020 2:35 am
What is Humour?
No oh no I'm just a pair of legs
Has anyone seen my torso it's
So imperative that I need it
I cannot find a way of leisure
So unfunny I'll never make you laugh
With my emo boys Toms
I'll pretend that I can make you laugh
Can't have them thinking that I'm happy
That would be off brand
I've been working on for two years
This would ruined me
What is humour?
Sunday 16th February 2020 2:00 am
Melancholy Death
I feel like life is not meant to be
I'll sleep in the cold outside
I'm slipping into my gloom
They would say I'm too young to die
Tell the truth I'm sick of being alive
This melancholy has drained me dry
I don't want to breath if I'm alone tonight
The end of my world will be soon
So come in help me fucking die
I hate myself more and more
It's knot okay
You don't have to live with ...
Saturday 15th February 2020 12:16 am
Words of The Waiting Man 33
I believed in every word you said
It only brought me sad nights alone
So if the sky was on fire would you think of me
Because you picked a man that
Couldn't love you more then me
The ashes of the letters I tried to write you
My mind couldn't think of the words
That my tongue was throwing out
So kept these as our little secret
I think you were the one and only
Four years now you have ...
Thursday 6th February 2020 4:54 am
End It All
I don't want to feel like this
The pain never ends
So can you please just understand
That I'm fading into the nothingness
Please don't get mad at me
The blood comes up
It's just a new day
But they feel all the same
So can you please help me
I can't keep this up no more
I'm losing faith in myself again
Tomorrow is too far away
It feeling like my lugs are trying to stop
I...
Saturday 1st February 2020 10:10 pm
A Body In The Sea
It was a body in the sea
Grieving mother in the sand
A situation no one wanted to see
The blood add up soaking the clothes
It was an emotional affair she shouldn't feel
He was only 12
A parent should never feel this
I hopeless feeling so gone
How could anyone be happy
This was the saddest day in this small town
It was a body in the sea
Grieving mother in the sand
A situation no...
Saturday 11th January 2020 11:43 pm
Terrorists
So you want the American dream
Picket fence an family that loves you
The American dream is dead
We gave the government the gun
So don't even try to make an American living
The senate doesn't give a damn about you
So pick your peppers but were the terrorists now
Monday 6th January 2020 12:32 am
I miss my old poems
I'm a little over worked
People don't love anymore
People just want sympathy from their statuses
If you have a real problem your causing drama
I know this is a little insensitive
I know I'm Hell bound but I don't care about it
I don't want to die to learn how to fly
Lately I just want to say bye
Could you understand
The motivations behind the lines
Every spouse I've ever loved left
...
Thursday 2nd January 2020 6:42 pm
Recent Comments
Ray Miller on Reporters
11 minutes ago
Ray Miller on “Play It Again, Sam”
18 minutes ago
Ray Miller on All that Glitters
20 minutes ago
Ray Miller on Build a Better Mousetrap
40 minutes ago
Ray Miller on Donkey Jacket
59 minutes ago
TobaniNataiella on Oh Happy Christmas Time
1 hour ago
Tom on Fog Over Liverpool 14/11/24
1 hour ago
raypool on MEALS ON WHEELS
2 hours ago
Graham Sherwood on All that Glitters
5 hours ago
Graham Sherwood on Fantasy Football
5 hours ago