No sooner said than done Col, I get your point entirely and hope you find this amended version pleasing. I'm not sure where my weird concepts come from but keep on reading 'em, aythangyow.
I do remember the song when I was in gig format myself.
Great that you reference that, I think I was a classic!
Raymondo.
Comment is about WORLD OF PLASTIC (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Ray,
I think that the next four lines after `ray` would perhaps make a good stanza (of how the earth was) sort
of balancing the next five line stanza (of how it is)
The last five are a good example of the `indifference` which so aptly often finishes this kind of poem.
well executed.
Comment is about JOURNEY THROUGH THE STARS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thank you Colin for your kind comment, I am very grateful to you and pleased you enjoyed reading it. Best wishes, Paul.
Comment is about Nostalgia (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 20:57
I'm playing catch-up with your offerings Ray and this is simply wonderful although I feel you maybe lose your rhythm a little in the last 4 lines? I want to add another 'plastic' before clouds or maybe lose a line but I'm resisting the urge to offer further suggestions other than this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v98HEQvtpgo
C?L
Comment is about WORLD OF PLASTIC (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 20:49
sometimes I think we are on the same spaceship Ray. I love this and it makes me want to grab my old tattered Ray Bradbury's and get lost in other dimensions.
Sc-fi is a great lure away from the normality of our mundane day to days although I can't profess to be an ardent reader of the genre.
All the best fellow Earthling.
Comment is about JOURNEY THROUGH THE STARS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
elPintor
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 19:29
I agree with Colin..this piece is very welcome. I really like the intermixture of the two languages and it sparked me to do a little research on some of the terms you use. The ideas presented, for me, dovetail into some things I've been reading about the interplay of disparate economic forces in South America. It's a heavy subject that has enormous implications of which, I realize, I've only begun to scratch the surface.
Well written and thought-provoking...
elP
Comment is about Wake Up/Despierta (blog)
Original item by E.M Chino
Many thanks, fellas, for the benefit of your collective experience. I don't know why I should be so disappointed that this had attracted an all-male response.
Your advice on wiping it on an Arsenal shirt made me snot, Graham
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 17:56
Hi Greg Good to hear from you and pleased that my little vignette has gained your approval!
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 17:49
Welcome Mr Chino - to you and your words. Despite not understanding most of this I like it. And I learnt a new word - flojera - which I Googled to find the meaning. If you stick around maybe you will tell us some more about your world. It sounds interesting. All the best, Colin.
Comment is about Wake Up/Despierta (blog)
Original item by E.M Chino
I used to wonder why Brylcreem was so popular back in the day before modern dressings became fashionable.
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 17:36
a pleasure to read - every word well polished Paul.
Comment is about Nostalgia (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Don't despair JC
Give up the palliative grease and take up losing weight for what is probably two bits of you rubbing together that according to the original design should be slightly apart.
Happy New Year
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
One of my favourite tracks John has always been Gasoline alley bred, or is it Vaseline - Just joking, or am I?
Ray
Happy new year.
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Just to say thanks for liking World of Plastic AM. A beacon of interest is always nice in a sea of indifference. I just read your sample poem, and would like to say I admire the feistiness and resilience of soul that it expresses. Some clever lines, a sort of rally cry. Go for it!!
Ray
Comment is about AM Cash (poet profile)
Original item by AM Cash
Oh, them awkward moments we've all had with a new partner.....well put...Jeff
Comment is about Chemistry is a mirage (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
JC, I've heard wiping your private bits on an Arsenal shirt works equally as well and gives the added inner glow that pj doesn't.
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Lovely that a musician and poet like Ray appreciates this so much, David. As I do, too.
Comment is about The Way Art Pepper Tells It (blog)
Original item by David Cooke
Thanks Jeff, such an encouraging comment, I'm so pleased you liked this. Strange word 'lacuna', I first read it in Daniel Goleman's book 'Emotional Intelligence' where he used it to describe people not being able to see things as they really are - a sort of blindspot. It just seemed appropriate for this piece. Thanks again. Paul.
Comment is about Lacuna (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
I hear the organic alternative to petroleum lubes are blood, and/or tears....but I'm old fashioned like that...& twisted.....Jeff....
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
HI Tom Thanks for kind comment on Art Pepper.
Comment is about Tom Harding (poet profile)
Original item by Tom Harding
Gideon Puccio
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 06:05
Beautiful words that ring so true. Excellent work.
Comment is about Trust is an illusion (blog)
Original item by Connie Walter
Gideon Puccio
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 06:05
Brilliant piece! I loved it very much and so true!
Comment is about Loving ourselves (blog)
Original item by Connie Walter
Fabulous Paul...& I learnt a new word too...thanks for sharing...Jeff...
Comment is about Lacuna (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Its one of those things you read, & then are silent....such power & emotion - feelings laid bear. I'm deeply moved & so glad you could share it...Jeff...Take care.
Comment is about He left (blog)
Original item by Connie Walter
Very hard to capture jazz in poetry but this does it get.
Comment is about The Way Art Pepper Tells It (blog)
Original item by David Cooke
Thank you all, some very kind words here
Comment is about Night Music (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
thanks for commenting on 'Olive' Jeff
BURP
Ian
Comment is about Jeff (poet profile)
Original item by Jeff
thanks for commenting on 'Olive' Raj
BURP
Ian
Comment is about Chakraj (poet profile)
Original item by Chakraj
<Deleted User> (13762)
Sun 1st Jan 2017 19:37
do you deliver Sharvari? Sounds delicious ? Happy New Year!
Comment is about Complete Meal (blog)
Original item by Sharvari
Tom this is very very accomplished work.
The second verse is excellent, one perfect line is....
....little refugees sailing their slim luck in the dark....
Brilliant stuff.
Comment is about Night Music (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Hi Tom, I really enjoyed reading this evocative poem - so many great lines, especially 'I lie listening to the bones of the house creak'. Great. Paul
Comment is about Night Music (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Hi M.C. - Thanks for feedback. I will update and amend accordingly. Happy New Year. ?
Comment is about 2016 - Taken but not Forsaken (blog)
Original item by Tom Doolan
A worthwhile and enjoyable tribute list for the "celebrity departed" of 2016. Wasn't Alan Rickman more accurately
Robin Hood's foe as the Sheriff of Nottingham? Not to
mention his scene stealing role as "Hans Gruber" in "Die Hard"!
Comment is about 2016 - Taken but not Forsaken (blog)
Original item by Tom Doolan
Hello Paul,
Thank you for your kind comments on I'd.
A small observation about the fact that none know us better than ourselves.
Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)
Original item by Paul Waring
Just my style C & M. A sort of pathos to it and brings an sense of discomfort, which is why I like it. (Fellow cynic).
Ray
Comment is about Happy next year (blog)
Original item by Chunks and Marrow
Fantastic sense of being involved in the poem, as always Tom. An economy of words , just enough to send the thoughts winging through the ether. The last three lines give a sense of disconcertedness and really hit the spot for me. The idea of almost humanizing and sharing small lives is in the best traditions of story telling.
Ray
Comment is about Night Music (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Absolutely brilliant....sums up the sometimes apathetic, indifferent staff we thankfully seldom see, but do. A little respect, consideration & empathy at the end, is all we require...Jeff...
Comment is about By the light of the local Spar (blog)
Original item by Jon Darby
Thanks Paul for reading & the nice comment...& the ice-cream part is of course true....she still calls me vanilla & herself chocolate...first date, nice memory of the occasion....Jeff...
Comment is about They Said, I Said, She Said (blog)
Original item by Jeff
Hi All,
Sorry for the delay, thank you for the kind comments.
Comment is about The Letting Go (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Hi Jeff, this poem says so much about racism. I liked the touch of humour about ice-cream, it speaks volumes about the character of the couple. Paul
Comment is about They Said, I Said, She Said (blog)
Original item by Jeff
Extremely well written Andy......powerful to a tee....Jeff....
Comment is about We are European (blog)
Original item by AM Cash
Thanks for taking time to read my stuff Andy, appreciated mate. Take care.....Jeff....
Comment is about AM Cash (poet profile)
Original item by AM Cash
Cheers Paul & all the best.....the more adventures & interesting people I meet make it easier to write my life....take care.....Jeff....
Comment is about HAIKU: WISDOM (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Thanks Andy & glad you took the time to read......Jeff...
Comment is about They Said, I Said, She Said (blog)
Original item by Jeff
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 2nd Jan 2017 22:33
perfecto Raymondo ?
Comment is about WORLD OF PLASTIC (blog)
Original item by ray pool