Hi Ann,
love the poem and the repetition works really well.
I enjoyed listening to the audio too. It's difficult for me to comment on how you portray it because as a reader, i expected more anger as he spoke those words which didn't come across except in the latter part of your audio.
Having said that, it was a lovely surprise because as you interpret it, it's more of a private conversation between two persons who are close enough to speak candidly in such a way as to let the other know how they tick.

That's the thing about reading poetry and listening to it performed. It can be portrayed in many ways and not always as expected. Chris Dawson's the one to speak to for advice on this.
She did an audio on one of hers once which had the same response from me. Where i expected an angry rant style poem and the reality was so very different.
That's what's so great about the performance scene... and the website enhances the experience when we can actually read the poem and decide for ourselves the reaction to it.
That's what's so good about poetry in general. Everyone has the opportunity to interpret for themselves how a poem can be and so different to what the author intended. Sometimes it's good when people get it wrong because it puts a whole new perspective on the written word which even the writer might not have realized when writing the piece.

I love poetry like this.
Thanks,
Janet.xx

Comment is about If you can read this . . . (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

That would be greatly appreciated if you could

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

We are on same wavelenght with your idea '0 unread' , i had similar feeling/sentiment i wanted to capture. Do you want to write one and we can splice the 2 together? A project? ..I have not YET seen ajoint or HYBRID poem in here so we may be the first? Send it to Dermot for his magazine section

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Is the voice your own this time Ann? Nice voice and interestingly spoken intonations. Please don't think this is a slight. I'd like it to have been a bit slower. In actual performance we only get to hear it once so don't have the luxury of savouring the words or able to press a button to listen to it again.
Good work once again.

Janet.x

ps. in my opinion, no-one should need to apologize for the number of blogs they put up in any period of time. The people have a choice whether or not to read them...and they, of course have opinions too. Sorry for going on a bit. It just really annoys me when some people make others feel guilty by foisting their own opinions on the newer poets trying to make their mark and love the interaction this site provides for all users. Yes, i know! I'm 'off on one'' too.

Comment is about newsreaders (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Good morning,unloved little waif.I really love this poem.excellent.have no fear,dear Lady,people like yourself can rest assured you will always be loved.from one human being to another,I say MWOAH! (thats a friendly peck on the cheek,and inclusive of a great big warming hug.)so many blogs??? wrong! not nearly enough in my books.yes,I really love this poem.thank you so much-Stefanx

Comment is about my love is like the train waiting (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

sorry for so many bloggs lately - it is the snow and I am trapped. Help! ;-)

Comment is about my love is like the train waiting (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Really? Bloomin eck! In that case, if I do try it at Preston, I shall declaim it a la the actORS from Blackadder. Ta for looking it up Isobel! I feel very literary right now! x

Comment is about Darling Sweatheart (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

This has a very sad and desperate feel to it...
I can hear the music playing in the background...

xxx

Comment is about Claire (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Enjoyed this! You have a sharp eye for tv related interactions! I was watching BBC 24 hour news programme recently thinking exactly that about the two presenters. Their body language spoke the complete opposite of their silly grins and fake flirtations. I like the way you rhymed 'breath' with 'death' by the way! No poem should be without that pair. Truly a match made in heaven! ;-)

And yes, I will post a poem tomorrow for you. I can indeed take it as well as dish it out. I just need to decide which one of mine has got the least cliches and forced rhymes in it so that I don't appear to be a total hypocrite! And on a slightly more serious note I would have done so already but my mum had her old bone and gristle knee replaced with a metal and plastic one today so I have had to put poetry to one side and visit her in hospital instead! Very inconsiderate of her.

She wanted a couple of magazines to read this evening but it appears there are no publications whatsover these days that do not feature Cheryl Cole, Jordan and/or Peter Andre on the front cover and I am having to take medication in order to recover from the trauma of being forced to handle and purchase these appalling publications. I would rather inhale asbestos dust frankly. Oh for the days when 'Woman's Own' featured the poems of Patience Strong, cake recipes and knitting patterns.

And back in those days Robert Dougall and Kenneth Kendal read the news. No nonsense, no autocue, no winking at some floozy with a botox face jammed against their thighs. Just a pile of A4, a stern look and some REAL news. In those days a bit of snow wouldn't have warranted a mention. Now you'd think the polar ice caps had shifted permanently onto our dismal little island for all the fuss they are making. Even Jordan is thinking of wearing underwear when she goes clubbing, according to reports in Angling Times and The Antiques Trade Gazette!!

Comment is about newsreaders (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

It has to be said, there was a time when news was news, and would be read by those you would respect as being serious in intellect and thinking. But now, as with everything else you see on telly, it all wreaks of showbizzness. You said something in this poem that i have been thinking for some time.
Spot on.

Mike

Comment is about newsreaders (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I may be totally wrong on this one. Have just got me little book out. I see you are writing in Iambic Pentameter - if it was good enough for Shakespeare....Funnily enough, I am trying to write one in the Bard's style at the moment - it is so hard!

Comment is about Darling Sweatheart (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Amazing! - easily the best I've read in donkey's aeons :)

Comment is about Freedoms Of.............. (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

"It's steam trains, plugs and sockets they admire,
a trip to Wickes will really light their fire.
In boiler suites and steel toe caps they go,
a pencil stuck behind the ear - they charm me so!
Arms up to elbows in old oil and grease,
Swarfega like a perfume to their nose.
How I love men like those!"

Swarfega Stuff Poet Foxglove!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Mr J.-This is one to take to the lav!-but bring it back again-though slightly moistened.but colourless-lol-really lovely poem Gus-our Monica was good at wailing-tee hee! ta Jonssons Lad-Stef-no x on the bottom sorry

Comment is about Claire (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

For a moment Ann,I that was you on the badly drawn telly-I was going to say,one of your nellies is lob-sided.wonder if those two might mention snow? loved it Ann-the poem.lol! Stefanx ps-the two readers I mean,not the nellies.

Comment is about newsreaders (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

..thanks for th'comment...no it's not bitter...just summing-up life a bit....I like your 'dance' poem...if you google 'stepmoth' and go to my 'myspace' you can select 'Easy when y'dancin' and hear me singin' on said subject....doesn't mean I can dance though..!!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I shan't delete it. yep I was after honest feedback and nope I'm not in the least offended. I have a thing for Stephen Fry (pointless I know) and Dara O'Brien too....you should see me watching Mock the Week and QI.
As for writing lots, I have a one track mind at the mo and it's to the detriment of everything else...Bills....ironing...pah!... there's a poem to be written. Actually I go through phases, seems to be a prolific phase at the moment, maybe it's hormonal!
Rachel
x

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Glad I haven't offended - you seemed to be asking for honest feedback and critique. Yes, you are right about the first few lines being the ones missing rythm and it gets better thereafter. I seem to naturally prefer a structure where the lines are not all the same number of syllables. I don't consciously sit down and work them out though - I just read it to myself until it sounds right. I have got this book Stephen Fry wrote called 'The Ode less Travelled' which tells you all the different rhyming schemes. I keep meaning to read it - it seems good or perhaps I should invent my own and write to him with it. LOL. From a page perspective, your poem is great - beautiful. I always tend to see things from performance cos that is my first love. Wish I could write as much as you - I have become a bit lazy - I read a lot more than I write. Should put this in an email, rather than clog your profile - feel free to delete once read. x
ps Atonement is a dead miserable book with an aggravating ending - have you seen the film?

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Hiya Tommy, thanks for tellign me about Atonement, I googled it tooactyually, must get a copy of the book.
Cheers
Rachel
x

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks John, what a lovely thing to say. I'm glad you liked the poem, I'm trying outsome new techniques at the mo, they don't always work so well and it's great to get feedback.
This is a bit of a hijack by the way but in response to Chris's comment below this, about liking things that make you cry.... I do that exact thing with Elgar's cello Concerto and Paul Gallico's book "the Snow Goose"

Thanks muchly
Rachel
x

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Brilliant subject to attack head on. I take your point exactly. I love the freedom of poetry to spear anything with impunity .... well ... almost.

This WOL site really is a stimulating forum ... well ... almost.

Comment is about newsreaders (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Oh, it's merely the cooking whisky! all gone now too, there was only one measure left, might have to sup the sherry next! then the listerine! No purple teeth for me tonight then!
Nope I did think that about the flow of it to start with....honest!
rach
xxx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

I bet you aren't that much older than me.... anyway, maybe you just had more discerning televisual tastes...I might try and find it on youtube unless they've burnt all the footage....they ought to have!
Rach
x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hullo Isobel,
I totally agree about the rhyme thing. I am messing around with styles and stuff at the mo and I'm not really comfortable with rhyming. it feels like I'm trying too hard and having to leave out stuff I want to put in but just can't tesselate. Practice at the jigsaw table for me I think. Lol!

Thanks again for the comment...also I am pretty sure the first few lines just don't work rhythm wise ...I will mess some more with it at some point.
cheers
rachel;
x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Rach - I don't recall the prog of which you speak, I think I'm millions of years older than you. I was struck by this new thing where you seem to have to have two newsreaders, always a man and a woman, to let you down gently when they tell you the news, on local stations anyway. And they always seem to have to flirt with each other. Gets right up my nose - so false!

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Bloomin heck - so it's not just red wine you drink - dare I join you with a glass of brandy? Don't take what I say as read, Rachel. Often you know how to perform your own stuff - it is inside you - it isn't as natural with someone elses. And yes - I think it is about the rythm not the syllables - or is it the syllables that create the rythm? You'll have to try it out in Preston. It is great to try out new styles though. I went the other way from you. Started off pretty much rhyming everything and struggled not to rhyme. Now I'm never sure what I'm doing - perhaps that's the purple teeth....x

Comment is about Darling Sweatheart (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Aw. ta fer the comments chick!I have been reduced to drinking , though in my case the dregs....crap whisky, one measly measure left too. Send me some champagne down the modem!
I love you too

Racheroo
xxx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I came on to your profile to leave a thank you, then spotted this. Instantly like it. Do you remember that Song Book tv programme in the 70's where that awful couple sang "I can sing a rainbow" etc with a guitar? They did this exact thing. I recognized it at 5 or however old I was back then. This poem straightaway made me think of them.
faberoo
Rach
x

Comment is about newsreaders (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Cheers you lot. I appreciate the comments. I do agree with Isobel, I think I'm not a natural rhymer, and it felt a bit contrived to write. However, I'm trying hard to have a play with different techniques at the moment and will endeavour to sort out rhythms more.
Thrilled it was resonant for people too. They really were in love...there, one whisky and I'm making myself cry now.
Cheers
Rachel
xxx

Comment is about Darling Sweatheart (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Just to say, I read this out loud to myself and it sounded great, thanks to your words and not my recitation! It does read very well! I love it more now I've read it again.

Comment is about Darling Sweatheart (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Thanks for your kind comments on my Warm me Twice poem, it means a lot. x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Never realised you were so musical Gus. Yes, I could well imagine you on the horn...xx

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Yes - I would agree with Tommy - this poem shouts anger - more than the average man in the street or poet for that matter, could ever understand. You probably have to have been there.
I would like to see you tackle a different subject matter. It is obvious from your commentary and your poetry that you are a thinking man. I would love to see that come out in different themes. Not easy, I know - sometimes you just have to have the muse on your shoulder and yours seems to be a rifle and the horrendous experiences you have had. Hopefully time might help to heal that. x

Comment is about Oh the Hypocrisy (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Hi Anneliese, I love yer limerick, very witty!

Comment is about Anneliese Emmans Dean (poet profile)

Original item by Anneliese Emmans Dean

around deez ere parts, many take to the fiddle, it is a talent that one should not have to engage in, i refer of course, to fiddling. many conundrums can be born of this word, but, as you quite rightly say, let us hope in our lives if to fiddle (violin playing i guess) we learn, it is not in circumstances of trial and woe.

Stay well

Mike

Comment is about That We May Never Have to Play Dalibors Fiddle (blog)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

"It goes something like ...very bluesy... La la la laaaa la la la da da da" ............... I know that one!! youve missed the trala la late da out of the middle.!
Cate xx

Comment is about Claire (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hello Annipoo ;-)) I have been busy drinking eating and having a good time, so no time for WOL, I am back in the Gulf now ;-( so I expect to be reviewing your stuff soon!! I will give you a hard time ha ha...... maybe even post something myself !!
Love TC ;-) XX

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Rach - are you going to tag your poem? Are we supposed to? Are you too modest? I haven't tagged mine, but Isobel asked me to. But I wouldn't do it unless you tagged yours, as you won. This sounds like a schoolgirlish plot behind the bike sheds. But I have just had a glass of champagne - all the booze left in the house with being snowed in and all, so I've gone pleasantly potty! I love you! I love everyone on WOL! ;-)

Comment is about rejection (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

HOW do you get the text in different sizes etc? I wish I could do it! What are the magic words?

Comment is about Claire (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hi Marianne, i read this poem several times to fully digest its meaning. Each time i read it there was something more to follow. To me, and though the clue is in the title, its speaks of death, both as its victim and its witness, perhaps the death of love. Very touching. brilliant in fact.

nice work.

Mike

x

Comment is about The Assassination (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Love the imagery in this Rachel. You are quite brilliant at inventing new ways of describing things. It doesn't quite flow well enough for me as a rhyming poem and I don't know why. I'm not great at critique - just know that I couldn't perform it. Perhaps it has something to do with the number of syllables per line. I hesitated before commenting cos the feedback you have got is so positive and I love your work. I think that I prefer your non rhyming stuff though. I think it is a very touching poem though. A love that can survive a lifetime so intact, demands a poem to be written about it. x

Comment is about Darling Sweatheart (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

A little bit of brute force works wonders... who's got time to bother fiddling around.... . Having said all that, I did, last night. Enjoyed listening to this at the Everyman - it went down well - and no the puzzle really didn't take me more than half an hour to sort out - I just got distracted by all those poets who wouldn't shut up....

Comment is about More than a puzzle (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hey up Izo,
we could do a little duo, make music together next outin, you singing an me on the horn, could be good... could be very good.
Thanx as usual for your comments, constructive and well read as always.

Gus xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

A touching one Ann - in time memories can bring warmth as well as sorrow - simply yet beautifully expressed. x

Comment is about warm me twice (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Yes - I can hear the saxaphone Gus - you should try setting it to music. You might get on the jukebox then....It has the feel of song lyrics - lots of repetition. An unusual one for you in that this one actually deals with love and deprivation of it, amongst other things of course - not something I can remember you writing about before. It feels like you are looking through someone else's eyes rather than your own though. An interesting one. x

Comment is about Claire (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Dear Ann,is there chance you 'wood' like warming for a third time? me and the queerhawk(Mrs Wilde)are just loading loggintons on the fire-and filling the sherry glasses up.love this neat little poem-cute! and yes,wherefore art thou thermaturgicals? sadly missed indeed-prob with your pictorial fire is,it looks nice,but you can,y make holy ghost on it-lol-Stefeatures

Comment is about warm me twice (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

It goes something like ...very bluesy... La la la laaaa la la la da da da ....lots of wailing gob horn

Comment is about Claire (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Lovely poem Marianne. "still and built with absences" and the rusty locket do it for me. You are a very poetical poet!

Comment is about The Assassination (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Hiya Tommy, thanks for the comment and yes, Miles Platting is a great name which was my reason for personifying the area.. Apparently a shame about the place.

Janet.x

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi all,
Thanks for your kind comments.

Comment is about Comparing Mythologies (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding