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<Deleted User> (7790)

Fri 16th Apr 2010 18:51

Oh! That is sad but there's forbearance, too. And stoicism, resignation...

Comment is about Anniversary (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

<Deleted User> (5593)

Fri 16th Apr 2010 16:43

This event was held at the Man and Scythe Bolton to remember, and celebrate, the life of John Jelly. John was the Godfather of Write Out Loud and ran chaotic but brilliant nights of poetry, music and fun at this venue.

Photographs by John Togher.

Comment is about John Jelly Tribute night, Bolton September 2009 (photo)

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Isobel

Fri 16th Apr 2010 16:34

Everyone has such different views. I like those last two lines - they are what make it for me. I wouldn't feel the same way reading what Jane suggested. It is those bald thoughts of the observer that take you by surprise.

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 16th Apr 2010 15:18

Hello Again to you too

Yes this poem is very raw but takes a look at the dishonesty of pleasure taken... or does it??

Gusxx

Comment is about Lisa Milligan (poet profile)

Original item by Lisa Milligan

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 16th Apr 2010 15:16

Hi lisa 'My Father's Belt

Came to me in a dream... really wierd...yes I do have many of his ways... mostly kindly .... I was trying to write from the side of the aggressor for a change...

Once again thanks for the comments.

Gus xx

Comment is about Lisa Milligan (poet profile)

Original item by Lisa Milligan

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 16th Apr 2010 15:10

Hello Again to you too

Yes this poem is very raw but takes a look at the dishonesty of pleasure taken... or does it??

Gusxx

Comment is about A Thousand Oceans (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 16th Apr 2010 15:06

Hello Lisa
Thank you so much for taking the time to read A Soldier's Letter...

Most encouraging comments
once again many thanks

Gus x

Comment is about Lisa Milligan (poet profile)

Original item by Lisa Milligan

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alisonsmiles68@gmail.com

Fri 16th Apr 2010 14:20

I love it. The bit in brackets made me smile - gave a much more vivid picture of the person who might be speaking it. If I listed all the bits I loved my comment would be longer than the poem.

Comment is about For As I Draw You (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Marc Lovett

Fri 16th Apr 2010 09:43

Hi Lisa,Thanktyou for your heart rendering comments about my work,..this is a fabulous site to get feedback,and also read other poets transcripts...I have read some of your work and find it a great inspiration,as I do of many writers herein.be safe.Marc

Comment is about Cassie (blog)

Original item by Lisa Milligan

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jane wilcock

Fri 16th Apr 2010 08:36

This is the version I enjoy the most as it gives me an immediate visual of the old lady. The second one doesn't for me, I lack the empathy. However, i found the " and I thought" line disrupting as I came out of my picture into me/you and so personally I would replace the last two lines with " denying symbols diffidence" which for me would have kept the image but made me think.
I have really enjoyed these though, thanks very much, great reasoning and poetry again. Best,Jane

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Max Wallis

Fri 16th Apr 2010 02:49

I'm not sure how to comment on the samples or if you've blogged 'Dad' but I bloody love it. Max xx

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

<Deleted User> (5763)

Thu 15th Apr 2010 23:53

Thanks for the comment Cynthia; I was wondering what to do with that couplet -I think you are right- will amend.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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winston plowes

Thu 15th Apr 2010 23:36

Great strong brew of words in this one of yours which shouted at me. Sustained its strength an imagery till the end. Win

Comment is about The Great Refrain. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Isobel

Thu 15th Apr 2010 22:29

I prefer the previous version Cynthia. You probably want to know why... it's hard to put my finger on it. I prefer things said in more concrete terms. Also a number of word combinations don't sit easily with me. I don't like the first line for instance - it just doesn't sound poetic to me. I hope that doesn't sound harsh - you seemed to be asking for feed back. I did like the last version and found that objective and enigmatic enough.

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus II (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 15th Apr 2010 21:44

Hi Alison-this is a wonderful poem-can,t fault it in any way-brilliant! thanks-Stefan.

Comment is about Failure (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

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Isobel

Thu 15th Apr 2010 19:23

Dziendobre - I like your profile poem. It is all the more powerful for its objectivity and odd detachment - and sad - very, very sad.

Comment is about Bohdan Piasecki (poet profile)

Original item by Bohdan Piasecki

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Bohdan Piasecki

Thu 15th Apr 2010 19:09

Hi Winston! Thanks for you welcome message. I've now uploaded a sample poem (and the audio file was there all along). Enjoy!

Comment is about Bohdan Piasecki (poet profile)

Original item by Bohdan Piasecki

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Lisa Milligan

Thu 15th Apr 2010 17:25

You have a strong poetic style. My favorite was dated 11/4/10. I liked the whole thing but my favorite lines were:

Feelings to emotions

Cant stop devotions.

Love the way you captured that - been there. Great job.

Lisa

Comment is about Marc Anthony (poet profile)

Original item by Marc Anthony

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Lisa Milligan

Thu 15th Apr 2010 17:09

It takes real talent to describe something without coming right out and saying it and that is your strong point. The last two lines are brilliant. Loved it!

Lisa

Comment is about Becoming Real (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Lisa Milligan

Thu 15th Apr 2010 17:06

These points you wanted to get across...you really nailed it. You really kept my interest and it had great flow. Very well written.

Lisa

Comment is about The Great Refrain. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Lisa Milligan

Thu 15th Apr 2010 17:01

Well, here I am again. This one really caught my eye. I was going to say something every much like what Francine did! Enjoyed it very much.

Lisa

Comment is about A Thousand Oceans (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Lisa Milligan

Thu 15th Apr 2010 16:57

I like your style very much. You've conveyed your reality with your father poetically and clearly. I can really relate to this one. The end is genius. Loved it!

Lisa

Comment is about Claw and Bloody Nail (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Lisa Milligan

Thu 15th Apr 2010 16:53

I loved reading this - between the rhythm of it and the story, it's just great. Just the right amount of honesty, anger and humor. Good format too. Nice job!

Lisa

Comment is about An Innocent Abroad ( A Soldier’s Letter to his Chaplain) (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Wendy Hollis

Thu 15th Apr 2010 16:41

I loved this! 'Soaked to the skin I'm pulled under'!

Comment is about His love for me is like the sea, As deep as it is wide (blog)

Original item by Louise Fazackerley

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Isobel

Thu 15th Apr 2010 13:26

Yes - the ending is very wry. I smiled even though I knew I possibly shouldn't. Does that constitute black humour or are we not allowed to call it that anymore?If I were to look at the poem in a more serious light, I would say that it could be about the right of every individual to determine their own life. Or it could be a reflection on how certain of us switch off to external tragedy - the fear of getting involved and connecting. Or maybe it isn't about the ending of a life at all - just the dangerous things people do when stressed and waiting for a bus...
I love the way you leave it open to interpretation and are able to handle a potentially serious poem with such a light hand.

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 15th Apr 2010 12:51

Good afternoon,young Hewitt! lovely poem Kath.Reminds me of an old one of mine.

'upon the face of night
dreams of baby glide
upon clouds they softly billow
she sleeps.
slow unfolding
this nurtured Rose
upon the womb,s
most perfect pillow.

enjoy your day Kath-Stef.-x

Comment is about lullaby (blog)

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Thu 15th Apr 2010 11:15

A rather wonderful analogy Ann - patina does seem to encompass a growing value and tenderness. :)

Comment is about patina (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 15th Apr 2010 10:38

Kealan, how did you use the word 'solice' as in 'a disgrace to solice' in your comment about Thomas' latest poem? I looked it up, and found nothing; yet 'solace' didn't seem quite right either. I know you love language; so I'm interested.

Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 15th Apr 2010 10:30

The ideas here are the magnificent ones of all true thinkers from 'forever'. Perhaps the poem could be a bit 'tighter' in its development of relationships, but, in my opinion, the last two lines 'And revolution is an old folk song' is the poem's most vital thought and a superb ending.

Comment is about The Great Refrain. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 15th Apr 2010 10:28

Cynthia, thank you for your kind comments on "Otis cries". The poem almost wrote itself and was a singularly defining moment for me as the deceased was a beloved next door neighbour. Thank you once again. Graham

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Andy N

Thu 15th Apr 2010 08:19

enjoyed this piece, kealan... very well wrote i felt and i think very reflective off you...

not sure if the last line about is an old folk song is needed.. i think finishing with the previous line could be better x

Comment is about The Great Refrain. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Andy N

Thu 15th Apr 2010 08:17

good stuff, lucy... i showed it to a pal too - i'll give you full feedback when i speak to you next. considering in your own words - you are a newbie, it's a cracking start! (I'll show you some of the stuff I wrote at your age - yours is hundreds and hundreds times better) x

Comment is about Peat's Silent Secret (Guy's - I'm a newbie, feel free to comment and let me know what you think) (blog)

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Andy N

Thu 15th Apr 2010 08:15

love the ending Cynthia.. bit of a change for you i felt.. i will ask you a few questions next time i see you however.

one quick thing too - shouldn't 'I spotted the old woman at the bus stop' be 'i spotted a old woman at the bus stop'????

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Lucy Marsh

Thu 15th Apr 2010 02:42

Thanks guys, am glad you got my gist! Not that it was a hard one. Even I'm slightly proud of that one..even though I'm a newbie!

Comment is about Peat's Silent Secret (Guy's - I'm a newbie, feel free to comment and let me know what you think) (blog)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Apr 2010 00:12

You is like well top-bombing wiv dis.

Comment is about Gibberish (blog)

Original item by Ian Nenna

<Deleted User> (6470)

Wed 14th Apr 2010 22:14

Very well observed, and a great surprise ending!

Comment is about pinny (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

<Deleted User> (6470)

Wed 14th Apr 2010 22:00

They didn't let ye down tonight!

Comment is about You Spurs! (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

<Deleted User> (7075)

Wed 14th Apr 2010 20:26

Interesting work mike. Hope you get something out of our site and keep on posting. Winston

Comment is about Mark Gillies (poet profile)

Original item by Mark Gillies

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Emma McCourty

Wed 14th Apr 2010 19:01

I love this! so nostalgic and beautiful! such fine detail and strong imagery: the sights and smells are so clear. It transports the reader through your experience as you saw it and felt it. LOVELY! xxx

Comment is about From Kurashiki to Manchester (blog)

Original item by Belinda

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Emma McCourty

Wed 14th Apr 2010 18:56

HI Belinda! was lovely to meet you too, shame we didn't get to chat more in the cafe or pub afterwards due to dashing back to Chester. We will catch up next week! Thank you for commenting and Im glad you like it. I too agree with you. I would have liked to make the poem consistently abstract and will work on that. I will be sure to read your work and leave a comment. Take care. em xxx

Comment is about Belinda (poet profile)

Original item by Belinda

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kealan coady

Wed 14th Apr 2010 18:43

There is some good language here, and the flow/rythm is nice and easy to read.

Comment is about Peat's Silent Secret (Guy's - I'm a newbie, feel free to comment and let me know what you think) (blog)

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kealan coady

Wed 14th Apr 2010 18:41

Reminds me of my home town, everything is in the open, its a disgrace to solice.

Comment is about No Secret Place (blog)

Original item by Tom

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kealan coady

Wed 14th Apr 2010 18:38

i dont have audios but if you need some content feel free to record one of mine and put it up.

Comment is about For anyone who may be interested and I hope there is at least one ... (blog)

Original item by Steven Dark

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kealan coady

Wed 14th Apr 2010 18:37

Really good theme, tension is powerful and clear, there is an air of uncertainty stamped on this one which makes an interesting narrative.

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Antony Owen

Wed 14th Apr 2010 15:58

i hope there are people as nice as you when I'm this old person in the poem :)

Your admiration for these 'mature adults' is clear and fair play 2u

Comment is about Old Woman Waiting for a Bus (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Wed 14th Apr 2010 15:47

I am violently in love with Andre Breton (!) and like to dabble in abit of free writing, take an idea and just go with it. I find it very cathartic.
Thanks for the comments.

Comment is about Picking up a broken mirror... (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 14th Apr 2010 15:15

I too like this a lot, for all the reasons given by Ray Miller. Plus the internal alliteration is superb. You don't seem to have any problem with being constantly 'different'.

Comment is about In the shadow of silence. (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

<Deleted User> (6895)

Wed 14th Apr 2010 15:00

oh wytchy! would this poor humble wordsmith ever let you down? no way! as for the rocket science of pc work-forget it! I know as much about that as I do of writing decent poetry-but be warned Carol Ann Duffy-I,m on my way,see you when the world ends!hope having my pleasant presence felt didst verily suffice enough for starters--cheers Wytchers-Stefan.

Comment is about For anyone who may be interested and I hope there is at least one ... (blog)

Original item by Steven Dark

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 14th Apr 2010 14:52

Very original, and compelling. Much to absorb and unravel. It seems quite different from your 'usual' in choice of diction and format. Was the 'prose' approach to disguise its length?

Comment is about Picking up a broken mirror... (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 14th Apr 2010 14:34

An excellent description of such an attack.

Comment is about White (blog)

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