Hi Emma, it was lovely to meet you today at the workshop. I really like your poem, it's a wonderful climpse of life on a bus and strange things that happen. On reading several times, I feel that the first 5 stanzas are very strong, with lots of really lovely images which took me as the reader on a little journey. I particularly liked ' misgivings are loose change' and 'stars drop from zips left open'. really nice lines.
I feel that the last two stanzas are a little different from the rest of the poem and you use more abstract words like 'spiritual' and 'diversity' which i feel takes the intimacy and personal away from a poem, which up to that point was drawing me in. Of course these are only my comments and you may feel very differently.
Anyway, I'd love to read more of your work in the future.
Belinda x
Comment is about Emma McCourty (poet profile)
Original item by Emma McCourty
Liked this, beautiful language and fine rhythm. Lot of poems start off well, then fade, but this gets better."noise is paramount and unfair" "people sleep in peace, not tall enough to reach over" great lines.Do you need "yo yo"? tides is saying the same thing and the rhythm is better without, also, I think "fatigue is the hope" would sound better. But fine writing.
Comment is about In the shadow of silence. (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Hi Dave, I seem to have lost your moby number, but I just wnated to let you know / remind you, that there is a BARDS open mic tonight (Mon April 12 2010) at the Magazine pub, New Brighton.
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Not to mention the absolutely atrocious slippy pitch. How many millions did it cost? Lovely arch, rubbish grass.
Comment is about You Spurs! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Lol. Funny but sooooo true ... ! :)
Comment is about I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Parliamentarian (blog)
Original item by jane wilcock
hey Stef, well err... I'm not in the habit of paying but I might be tempted :). Thanks for the comments and hello to wifey :}
@andy n. Could I write anything that isn't true? :)
Comment is about sex in dangerous places (blog)
Original item by Steven Dark
Something very endearing about this, even though you've spelt Astaire wrong! It feels as if you should be saying "he looks a lot like Bob Dylan" but maybe not.
Comment is about Famously Comparing. (blog)
Thanks Greg, though you're coming on a bit Bill Shankly there, mate. We managed to stay in contention until Easter rather than Christmas, so that's good!
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thanks John,we've managed to stay in contention for honours until Easter and that, I suppose, is as successful as we get.
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
This was written for a dear friend who was going through a particularly hard time in her marriage.
Comment is about Die Sonne (The Sun) (blog)
Original item by Lisa Milligan
Hi Andy
Thanks for your comment and I'm delighted you ordered Billy Ramsell's 'Complicated Pleasures' I doubt you'll regret it.
My book is available from Waterstones.com (link below) or just search my name or book title 'My Father's eyes were blue' - thanks for that also, very kind of you. (if you want to order it from me directly please email me on the address below, it'll save you P&P, book is 8 quid)
So...about you, when is your book out? do you have a launch venue? It's an exciting for you and you'll cherish every second of it.
My email address is caducus2004@yahoo.com when your books out let me know as I co host the tin angel open mic in Cov and will try and get you a slot. Unfortunately there is no bloody dosh from arts council but its been going 7 years and we've had the likes of Mario Petrucci, Kei Miller, Jen Hadfield etc.
keep in touch and when your books out let me know and I'll get one from you.
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
LOL - that sounds like my kind of song! I have been known to bash out Hey Big Spender, when I've had a few also! I'm planning to do an Edith Piaff soon - you might appreciate it since you are a french speaker - am a bit nervous about posting it though - I might take some flak for being elitist. The things I wanted to say just wanted to come out in a different language - perhaps cos it was too raw - who knows? I seem to remember you having a good singing voice - we should get together and do a duet! Take care.
Isobel x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Well done on your slam win Fatima, so pleased you enjoyed it too.
Cx
Comment is about Fatima AL Matar (poet profile)
Original item by Fatima AL Matar
nice change here, kathyn not in content which i enjoyed again but the shortness off it.. nice change in tempo! x
Comment is about Superficial burns. (blog)
i feel like ann, gus here. i saw this as a song too but it's lovely... perhaps a 70's folk song.. loved it however.. be interested to see how you do it live sometime!
Comment is about She is just a Gypsy Girl (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
nice one georgina here... the ending is a lot softer than i originally expected but nice one!
Comment is about Famously Comparing. (blog)
if i started doing my pieces in this style, m8.. I would probably get barred from this site - lol Nice one for having the guts to share this! I hope its not based on fact - lol
Comment is about sex in dangerous places (blog)
Original item by Steven Dark
Hi Chris - nice idea m8 and i enjoyed it.. Why don't you next time do what I do sometimes and really got for the throat and write a title that has about 10 lines and then is followed by a 2 line piece.. Now they are fun! lol
Comment is about The Title Of This Poem Is Longer Than The Actual Poem (blog)
Hi Antony; - Cheers for the respond comment... Silence is sometimes a important element in my poem, or the gaps between the silence where I can then look at things that people may miss otherwise.
Cheers for the suggestion over Billy Ramsell. I checked him over the week-end and went and ordered the book. Look forward to recieving this hopefully shortly.
Can you email me where to get your book from? (Didn't know you had a book out until you mentioned it).
Looking forward to my book coming out too, must admit. Oddly enough I have the second book well in hand now which is very different indeed too..
Comment is about Antony Owen (poet profile)
Original item by Antony Owen
Hi! just to tell you that I had a dream with you in it last night. You were standing on a balcony surrounded by swags of greenery and singing this great song about the power of love. The crowds were enraptured! You were very good! xx
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
yes, good idea Steve. Win
Comment is about Death Wish (article)
I thought this was going to be some sort of comedy Robert Burns thing. Instead it was absolutey wonderful
Comment is about Superficial burns. (blog)
Hi Kealan Glad you liked the poem about the red kites. I wasn't sure about it myself as it's a bit different from what I normally do - Mar sin fein ta me an-bhuioch leat!
Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Hi again Cynthia & Thanks for the comment. I wasn't entirely sure about it as it's a bit different from what I normally do, but glad to see that a few people sem to like it.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Hi Dave Thanks for the comment on The Red Kites. GLad you liked it. The kites do seem to have a few fans apart from me, although they really are a distraction when you're driving!
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Glad you liked the poem, Greg. I wasn't entirely sure myself because it's not really like what I normally do. I think deep down it's also about the fact that I stopped writing poems for so long. I was pretty bereft when that dream just stopped too. It was great!
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thankyou for your comments on my "Trip to the Dentist". I decided against a verse simulating the slobbery spit of pink water into the sink for the sake of taste!
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
This is a clear-eyed, carefully constructed and haunting poem, Tom. A tour de force
Comment is about To A Teacher (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Thank you Anne ... You obviously have not heard my singing voice.
But thanks all the same....
Yer lovely
Gus xx
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Thank you Anne ... You obviously have not heard my singing voice.
But thanks all the same....
Yer lovely
Gus xx
Comment is about She is just a Gypsy Girl (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Puurrrrr puurrrr g'night! xx
PS It'll be There's an Old Mill By the Stream Nelly Dean next time if you're not carefull!
Comment is about for my gem (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Fair and square, John? Never! You had a perfectly good goal disallowed and Villa had a bloody obvious penalty denied. In my alternative universe it's Spurs v Villa in the Cup Final. Best of luck.
Comment is about You Spurs! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
A deeply felt, brilliantly constructed poem, Ray. To follow any team is to experience the heights and depths, emotions akin to religion,love and hate.I know as well as you do that you didn't deserve such a defeat
Comment is about Claret and Blue (blog)
Very nice, Ann. You've got a lovely voice.
There, and you didn't even have to say a naughty word to get a comment!
Comment is about for my gem (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Ray
Congrats on WOLOP.
Commiz on semi - we won't be boasting between each other after Cup Final Saturday after all.
Following Villa is similar to following Spurs - the desperation I can cope with, it's the Hope I can't bear.
Comment is about Claret and Blue (blog)
I actually thought the twists of tissue bit was very real and I could see them in my mind, hence a very moving image. x
Comment is about To A Teacher (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
I agree with Stef. Such an immediate and powerful poem. I'm sure poetry helps to heal us all. xx
Comment is about Superficial burns. (blog)
I think this is fab Gus. Sounds like a song, a ballard maybe. xxx
Comment is about She is just a Gypsy Girl (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
I like it too,Ann. It rollicks along and spins in circles sometimes, but there are also some fine lines and hard observations.
Comment is about doe/doh! (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Hello Tom. I thought this was very powerful, first 10 lines are excellent."Counting binary bloods spots in twists of tissue" not so good, but the only blemish and "mercy equals pain over time" is lovely.
Comment is about To A Teacher (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
This is funny, and yet almost too accurate to be funny. It made me smile big time.
Comment is about A Trip to the Dentist (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
This is marvellous. Your ideas are clearly expressed with intense imagery, poetical music and strong realism. Hanging the poem on the 'hook' of the specifics and also the mysteries of mathematics is very insightful.
'the cat ghosting each footstep' is outstanding.
Comment is about To A Teacher (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Like Val, I also like it. Very funny. Well done. I pretty much sang my way through it.
Comment is about I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Parliamentarian (blog)
Original item by jane wilcock
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sun 11th Apr 2010 18:53
Jeez Kath,one deep indelible scar here-dont want to insult you by saying forget it-but if you could lessen the thought,you might give yourself a chance to get back to life(I mean that respectfully)it was once said'you can,t change things,so why regret them-as for me,re an abuser in my family-once every month I travel to the cemetery,to his grave,clean the headstone and lay flowers-to judge other people,it comes down to the old'those without sin throw the first stone'scenario.Any who trys to bullshit you in that respect? (yeah right!)dont carry it too long-gets heavier! bloody hell! you got me waffling again! catch you later-hope you enjoyed your day with family-Stef-x
Comment is about Superficial burns. (blog)
Well done Jane it made me chuckle.
Val X
Comment is about I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Parliamentarian (blog)
Original item by jane wilcock
Hi Kathryn,
Had to comment on this poem,both unbearably sad,yet traces of relief and closure also in there.Really enjoyed reading this!
Comment is about looking back. (blog)
Sometimes us poets look for metaphorical meaning in words that are meant literally. I am glad that you are able to look back on the past with fond memories also Kathryn. I think you sum up very well the way time can dissipate and distance some families, especially if they are trying to forget. 'Lip service and Christmas cards' sums that up very well.
Comment is about looking back. (blog)
Ann - you are the marrying kind, just as I am unfortunately. The bit of paper that signifies a marriage isn't the important part; it is the committment to someone through thick and thin that constitutes a marriage - you had that. So did I, until life became truly untenable - it took me half a life time to give up on it though - more the fool me, perhaps. I do hope you find someone else to share your life with, whether that involves a bit of paper or not.
Isobel x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Sorry I didn't get a chance at Hebden Bridge the other night to say how much I enjoyed your Cleck and Heck poem, Freda. I love all those West Yorkshire place names from back in the days (many years ago now) when I was a sub-editor on the Yorkshire Evening Post, commuting from York, and wondering what all these wonderful-sounding places like Cleckheaton and Heckmondwike were actually like. There's great poetic mileage to be made out of public transport, I believe ... Best wishes, Greg
Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)
Original item by Freda Davis
kath hewitt
Mon 12th Apr 2010 20:57
Hi Ann, thanks for taking time out to read and comment again. My appreciation is yours!!:)
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove