Louise - I personally find this one a bit 'clunky', especially as I am made to endure the eponymous TV programme regularly in this household. God save us!
Rob
Comment is about Say Yes to the Dress (blog)
Original item by Louise Clarke
Fragmented evil shallowed wounds
wearing so many faces
all of them listed
inside this collage poem.
Comment is about June Collage Poem: Evil (blog)
Original item by Stockport WoL
Louise - I know it can feel like a lonely and isolated place when you're suffering, but trying to 'beat it on your own' is near impossible. Accept whatever assistance is available, but don't rely on it for answers. Nice piece.
Rob
Comment is about My Way (blog)
Original item by Louise Clarke
Louise - the fact that you are still around to write about the experience is evidence of your strength. Don't ever give in to those inner voices. They serve only to erode esteem, confidence and feelings of worth. Take it from someone who knows!
Rob
Comment is about Rest (blog)
Original item by Louise Clarke
Louise - there is a lot of pain expressed in this piece, but can I suggest you revisit it and perhaps edit it with fresh eyes. I think it can be made even better with a bit of judicious pruning. of course, this is just my opinion - feel free to ignore me.
Rob
Comment is about The Whispering Winds (blog)
Original item by Louise Clarke
patricia Hughes
Thu 15th Jun 2017 13:43
Louise - the scrambled, illogical thoughts of a troubled mind eloquently put to 'paper'. We can hate visits from the 'Black Dog', but I firmly believe there is a new clarity when he/she buggers off again!
Rob
Comment is about Screams (blog)
Original item by Louise Clarke
Louise - thank you. It is a privilege I am glad to undertake and it is good to know that you find my comments encouraging.
Rob
Comment is about Louise Clarke (poet profile)
Original item by Louise Clarke
I appreciate your kind comment Kim, thank you so much, glad you like it.
Comment is about For Me Gardening Mam (blog)
Original item by Adam Whitworth
We certainly are living in interesting times, especially when a win is considered a loss and a loss a win.
Comment is about LAND OF HOPE AND JACKANORY (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thanks!
I find it amusing that I am rarely seen as I see myself, even though I am always myself, whoever I'm with.
Comment is about Martin Thinks I'm Catholic (blog)
Original item by Linda Cosgriff
A fine poem. I agree with Frances however --- the poem takes off at the 4th line.
...and I wish I'd thought of " trees shaking hands" . A grat image.
Comment is about An Hour Before (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Frances Macaulay Forde
Thu 15th Jun 2017 10:52
I agree with the David's comments and could also write to each line from the 4th to the end because, IMHO the poem starts on the forth line.
The first three passive lines don't (for me) add anything to the poem. What they address, is dealt with so much more lyrically later, when 'tearing out the page'...
I hope you don't mind my saying.
?
Comment is about An Hour Before (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Hello Mike, well and succinctly said. Thank you for this.
Comment is about Left Behind (blog)
Original item by Mike Bartram
<Deleted User> (6895)
Thu 15th Jun 2017 10:02
It's a small world - at least where poetry's concerned. David.
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
I love the simplicity and honesty of this poem Vanessa.
There is disenchantment and there is hope. That perennial tug of war.
But on reflection there's always a mutality.
here's something to cheers you up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKbwR7WXN4
Raj
Comment is about Things Have Changed (blog)
Original item by Vanessa Grosz
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Jun 2017 08:36
father clock only ticks in one direction, it's pointless to fight against him - embrace the way forward with open arms, you only get one chance. That child will always be inside you, bring her along to share the journey and make it YOUR journey.
C?L
Comment is about Time is Flying (blog)
Original item by Michaela Sheldon
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Jun 2017 08:23
Keith, you have put into words what I suspect a lot of us feel right now. The relentlessness of bad news stories makes me want to disappear to somewhere you describe but in reality it probs doesn't exist. The grass is rarely greener etc.
Nice one. Col.
Comment is about Another Place (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 15th Jun 2017 08:20
David beat me to it - I love the 'trees shaking hands' image too.
You have the ability to inject a striking image into every short line which in itself is an excellent lesson to any would-be writer. I could write a different poem based on each individual line of this poem - if I had time!
Col.
Comment is about An Hour Before (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Frances Macaulay Forde
Thu 15th Jun 2017 01:58
Hi Again David,
I established the first regular public reading event in 2005 after returning from Ireland and it ran each month until 2008. Yes, like many others, Jackson (relatively unknown in Perth) first read some of her words at my 'Poets Corner' monthly meetings at the State Library in Pages Cafe in 2008.
She is (these days) very involved in the poetry scene here in Perth, particularly the 'slam' events, I think.
I have retired after many years of serving on various writing committees including PCWC, WritingWA, FAWWA and having represented Poetry Australia as a poet in residence for 6 months at Burns Beach Cafe (my last gig). See my bio here: https://francesmacaulayforde.wordpress.com/about/
I shall order your book now and look forward to reading.
Best, Frances.
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
lovely airy, mystique to this ray. enjoyed very much.
Comment is about BIRDMAN (blog)
Original item by ray pool
thanks all for the comments. m.c i'm with you on the change, agree it brings out the ending better.
Comment is about How It Happens (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Ray, deep stuff indeed. Your reading makes this poem all the more evocative.
"and what beauty follows" ~ indeed:
swifts and swallows
fanning out like a courtier's cloak.
Suki
Comment is about BIRDMAN (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Hi Rick,
Your last line is a wonderful way to end the poem, and says so much. "I wonder where we ever are" says so much. The Buddhist "be here now" dictum doesn't always cut it.
Suki
Comment is about Inconsequential Death of a Hermit (blog)
Original item by Rick Gammon
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 14th Jun 2017 23:29
don't worry Wendy,just think of new word's to pray with.
Lot's and lot's of love to you.
Rose x
Comment is about No Words (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
A stimulating essay in introspection, enjoyable in its
contradictory commentary on how we see - and are seen -
in this lfe.
Comment is about Martin Thinks I'm Catholic (blog)
Original item by Linda Cosgriff
Robert, I would be really touched if you gave your time to read my poems.
Your feedback and comments are really appreciated, boost my mood and inspire me to continue writing.
Kindest wishes,
Louise
Comment is about Louise Clarke (poet profile)
Original item by Louise Clarke
Louise - I started with your first piece on WoL and was working my way through, not realising you had posted so many 'blogs' since January. Are you alright for me to continue, or would you rather me to ease off?
Rob
Comment is about Louise Clarke (poet profile)
Original item by Louise Clarke
love 'dance that divine dance' especially, loads of passion in this piece.
Comment is about Our Divine Dance (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
agree with martin, this is wonderfully written and could have come from someone 300+ years ago. lovely lines throughout.
Comment is about Red Stain (blog)
Original item by Michaela Sheldon
agree with ray, this is excellent and full of heady memories and half-cast shadows.
Comment is about The Roast (blog)
Original item by David Blake
really interesting ray. love it. needs re-reading and digesting, great stuff.
Comment is about BIRDMAN (blog)
Original item by ray pool
A perfect picture of a kind of experience awash with nostalgia in wonderful detail with the added bonus of the line about nursing stitches. I love the down to earth quality yet with such refinement.
Excellent fare as always David.
Ray
Comment is about The Roast (blog)
Original item by David Blake
All I can say Rick is that you know exactly how to reach the soul and my glasses are misted up now. Direct and reflective at the same time, I have to hand it you on a offertory plate.
Ray
Comment is about Inconsequential Death of a Hermit (blog)
Original item by Rick Gammon
A lovely write. The first line is the strongest for me. I often what sort of place dementia sufferers go to, is it safe etc.
Incredibly brave to get this down on paper in such a balanced way. Well done Patricia! And of course for POTW.
Comment is about 'The day my dad went mad' by Patricia Hughes is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
This was the ending of a piece that was far too unwieldy - I chopped off the first bit and did a spruce up ?
Comment is about Inconsequential Death of a Hermit (blog)
Original item by Rick Gammon
Hello Colin & Martin,
Thank you for commenting on the poem Wavelength. I had some misgivings when writing it as I only used the last four lines of each stanza to rhyme. Had I not done this I would have found real difficulty in finding appropriate words to fit. Are we obliged in some way to conform to a set pattern when composing poetry or can we simply write as inspired and only adapt when we feel it is appropriate or necessary? Your thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks again,. Keith
Comment is about Wavelength (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Frances Macaulay Forde
Wed 14th Jun 2017 08:47
G'day David,
Thanks for keeping me informed.
I've now contacted your publisher and asked how I can order a book to be sent to Perth, Western Australia.
Best,
Frances.
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
Frances Macaulay Forde
Wed 14th Jun 2017 08:45
G'day Sean,
Thanks for taking the time to read 3 of my poems and clicking the 'like' button.
I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
Best
Frances.
Comment is about Seán Maguire (poet profile)
Original item by Seán Maguire
<Deleted User> (13762)
Wed 14th Jun 2017 07:55
yes, nice one Michaela. I tried my hand at a sonnet recently and it fair did my head in! I readily admit to not being a huge fan of anything much in the way of pre-20th century poetry but some of it seems to be finding its way to me these days, or me to it. Either way it can't be a bad thing. Col.
Comment is about Red Stain (blog)
Original item by Michaela Sheldon
<Deleted User> (13762)
Wed 14th Jun 2017 07:40
intriguing Ray, arresting and thought provoking in its imagery - as if written from a distant place of the mind or being. Thanks for posting, Col.
Comment is about BIRDMAN (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thank you! I have worked quite a lot with Shakespeare's sonnets in university! I drew inspiration from those studies ?
Comment is about Red Stain (blog)
Original item by Michaela Sheldon
Great poem Michaela. I love the style almost it has almost an 17th century air about it.
'Black as ruin her hair does contend' what a fabulous line.
Comment is about Red Stain (blog)
Original item by Michaela Sheldon
You are in full flow here Keith. this has a nice pace and rhythm to it.
Nice one
Comment is about Wavelength (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
There is some beautiful description here Ray. I particularly like the fifth stanza.
Nice one
Comment is about BIRDMAN (blog)
Original item by ray pool
A great poem Patricia. It's never nice to see that happen someone close to you I saw my own father suffer with dementia before he died and he was completely changed.
You seem to have captured it all well with both a touch of humour and some grace.
A well deserved POTW Congratulations
Comment is about 'The day my dad went mad' by Patricia Hughes is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thanks Tom - the fact is lawyers will always be needed and are cleverer and more devious than our tin friends! I suppose it will come about eventually.
Hi Col. That is a lot scarier than I bargained for with my bit of nonsense. How would we cope? Gulp.
Ray
Comment is about SILVERSIDES v CHARRINGTON (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Greg Freeman
Thu 15th Jun 2017 15:52
This article was republished, with permission, in the Morning Star last Saturday https://www.morningstaronline.co.uk/a-c0f5-The-joys-of-poetry-driven-by-politics#.WUKeOWjyuUk
Comment is about Jess Green and her affirmation of nightlife on London's evening of terror (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman