Hi again Cynthia I think I'll leave my naked lady a while now and maybe look at it again some time later. I actually posted this one almost immediately after writing it, so I probably need a bit more distance from it. Thanks anyway, though, for your very thoughtful and careful reading.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

You must be one of the kindest men on the planet. One thing I know for sure is that I don't want to start rearing anyone else's children after my own. Grandparents often seem to take on that role nowadays and it is something I dread my kids asking me to do. One day I hope to live my life in a totally selfish way. Have a feeling it will never happen though...

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

Thanks, Ann and Isobel.We've started fostering again after several years break(beats a proper job) and it is,as Isobel surmised, the difficulty of doing anything else apart from look after kids. I thought I'd never write a thing again but I'm slowly resurfacing.The thing about nursery rhymes - and I know them all - they are so insidious, they really do go round and round your head all day long. And I'm not a New Man just a very, very old one.

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

thanks Dave :)

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hey John!

Simple yet moving! Got me thinking!

Best wishes
Jonboy

Comment is about I Dreamt You Were Little Again (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Je trouve que c'est très bien exprimé... et moi je suis pareille ; )

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Well done you for getting this going again. Have already started writing one but it's miserable as sin so I'll wait for something more miserable to be posted first so I can hide in its shadow.

Comment is about Escape. Prize Competition (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Ha ha - we'll fight them on the beaches... won't we Francine!

Julian - thanks for your contribution - much appreciated. You are technically right about all moments being in time. I just think that the phrase visually re-inforces the suspension of the moment - for me at least. The poem would flow just as well without it though so it's a matter of preference I suppose.

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Simon Thanks for your kind comments on La Nue Provencale & good to see you here on WOL. I recognize your Parakeets because Greg spoke highly of it to me a while ago. Greg knows a good poem when he sees one! If you're on Face Book and want to hook up I am

www.facebook.com/davidcookepoet

Will look again at Parakeets and will check out Noir when I can give them proper attention.

Comment is about SimonW (poet profile)

Original item by SimonW

Hi Isobel - I'm not sure why I appear in the Wigan WOL group, as I live in Surrey. Cheers, Simon

Comment is about SimonW (poet profile)

Original item by SimonW

Ray - pressed (flattened) paper aeroplanes in a book when opened would pop up and flutter a bit (in the wind)... just use your imagination ; )

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I love the warmth of the contributions, as much as that expressed in the poem; a reflected warmth, I reckon.
I too, like to try removing what seem extraneous words. Aren't all moments "in time"?

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hot,hot, hot - the way I like my men - burning the skin in fact!

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Yes, you could well be right about that Greg. Who was it said 'Once a Catholic.... ?'

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

But was it a hot shower - or a warm one? ;)

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

At the risk of being the biggest commenter on my own stuff LOL - I just wanted to say one last thing. Am going to leave the heat/warmth as is. Mulled it over in the shower and realised exactly what I was trying to say. Heat for me equates to passion, warmth to tenderness. You need both for a healthy relationship - though many have a problem with one or the other. All new relationships have promise though - that's what keeps us going!

Thank you everyone who commented. x

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

This bird poem was written last May, Isobel, when there was more rain. There is a marked difference this year, with such a dry spell here in the Northwest. I hesitated to post it after such a recent 'bird poem'. I adore most birds, with even a grudging admiration for the magpies and feral pigeons.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Ann, you are on the ball! They are two separate references, but obviously can be read together as a 'couple'. I changed it only recently too; now I must fix the ambiguity, but can't remember what I had before.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Cynthia I've had another look at La Nue Provencale and think that, hopefully, I've made it reflect better what you actually see in the image. The time sequence in the first stanza is now maybe a bit more straight forward. See what you reckon.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Ooo - I like your thoughts on 'worn' Ann - that works just as well. That's what I love about language - its nuances. That's what I love about this site - communing with people who share the same passion for language. It isn't about perfection for me - it's the quest for it maybe - and the exploration. Gosh - I could start writing another poem!
I think I'll hand the warmth/heat to the Miller/Buell-Thomas corner - I should probably have looked for a different word. Can't think of one off hand - hope would be too close to promise - I'll chew it over.

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Like it Isobel. I was thinking of "worn" as in worn threadbare sort of thing. It's nice to read your own thoughts on your poem too. And in one way the poem reads like ancient love letter from say a WWI soldier, and yet also hints at an up to date parallel, perhaps in your own life.x

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I'd agree Ann - I think old nursery rhymes give us a wealth of imagery to use in poetry if you really look hard at the original meanings. I once started writing a poem using that very same nursery rhyme - never finished it though... probably got interrupted by the kids!

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

I feel very dense - do oranges and lemons come into it? That always used to scare the hell out of me! Very sinister that chant "Here comes a candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to chop off your head!" HELP!!!!

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

I'm assuming this is about the difficulty even 'New Men' have in looking after children. I may be wrong of course - I have been with many of yours in the past.

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

Last 4 lines are really nice, a bit prayer-like, I thought. Would something that's been pressed flutter? I tried it on a shirt and the answer was no.I'd still agree with Cynthia about heat and warmth.

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

It does the same to some women Ray...

I can remember one song I had to sing quite vividly 'The wheels on the bus go round and round...' - it's a newer version of the mulberry bush song - repetitive and mind blowing.

I like the humour in this - it's a bit whacky - especially the 'even when confined to brackets'. Perhaps it's harder for a poet to have their minds confined in this way - we are all dreamers, after all...

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

You have tantalised me with this one Ray! A good poem, I've read it several times. Intriguing!

Comment is about Kids' Stuff (blog)

Hi Greg - Thanks! I'm off to Lundy for a few days - so hopefully lots of looking out to sea for me! (Where's those sea sickness pills?) :)

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

You're looking out to sea again, Ann. Some of your best poems do that.

Comment is about cable laying (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Cynthia Thanks for the very considered response to my provencal lady. I'm thinking about your comments. I have slightly shifted my time frame to before the point we see in the photo which may have complicated it all a bit. By the way if you write a poem about a painting it's call 'ekphrastic' ( if that's how you spell it!). I suppose you can use it for photos as well. I thought the time sequence made sense. She wakes up early before the sun is up but then eventually gets up herself a bit later. I think, though, that I may have to tinker with the bit about the shutter. She probably opens it when the sun is much stronger than I suggest so 'seep' and 'premonition' might need changing. Maybe 'sweep' and 'summons' - but it's got to have the right sound/cadence. Btw my new collection 'In the Distance' is now available on Amazon if you fancy a signed copy!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks but - who WERE all those nuns?

Comment is about royal wedding day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

This is brilliant, really deep and raw xo

Comment is about Bastards (blog)

Original item by Melanie Coady

Have just noticed that you are a member of the Wigan WOL group - can't understand why you are not showing up in the group - it is saying there are only 3 members so far - I'm wondering if that is happening to other people. Hope to see you there some time anyway.

Comment is about SimonW (poet profile)

Original item by SimonW

Thanks for your comment on my poem Simon and welcome to WOL. I've enjoyed reading your poetry - it is very rich.

Comment is about SimonW (poet profile)

Original item by SimonW

Thanks for your comments folks - I really do appreciate them and am always up for a bit of crit. I often want to offer it myself and hedge around wondering whether the poet is robust enough to take it...
When I started writing the poem I had pressed flowers in my head but changed it to paper planes - I suppose they are pressed initially before we open them up LOL but I take your point Cynthia. I did consider taking the 'aero' out to make the alliteration even more pronounced but didn't do it in the end - thank Goodness!
I did think about heat and warmth being near synonymous as well - but as Francine says - it reflects degree - also the importance to me of the temperature within a relationship ;)
Now this will make you laugh - the 'threaded to words that can't be worn' - in my minds eye I was remembering the dried melon seeds that we used to make necklaces out of as children - except in my poem these seeds are words that can't be used again - sad isn't it?
I'm glad you questioned it all Cynthia - I like to explain myself - and I like others to understand the way my mind works - most of the time. xx

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

See you tomorrow. I need to catch up with your work.

Comment is about The Undertaker (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Well done, Ann. You covered a lot of great stuff with a fulsome eye and a quick pen. I really enjoyed the ceremony itself, and the archbishop's big moment. His address was very compelling, even for people who don't believe in formal marriages. Kate's brother did an outstanding job on his reading. It all did seem sincere; I liked that. My fave part was William trying not to trod on her gown as they processed out of the abbey, and still trying to be dignified while petrified. At last the gauntlet was passed and he smiled!

Comment is about royal wedding day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I would rarely disagree with Cynthia, but I must say...
'pressed' as in flattened, and 'Heat' and 'warmth' are varying degrees - as in passion and friendliness... and 'threaded to' goes with sown - beautifully.

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

This is very interesting. I like the format even if it is not any 'shape' I recognize; it's a pleasant flow of undulating eye. The ideas are very sensual with some lovely images, like the whole of the final four lines: 'the year which winds before her day/is pregnant in her womb.....becomes my tendril tomb'. Maybe the metaphors get a bit confusing, but the overall 'feeling' is very intrusive if carefully read.

Comment is about There's Something about April (blog)

Original item by Alan Morrison

I like this, Isobel, the idea and the diction. But here goes: IMO, I would take out what I consider to be unnecessary words, making the poem even more forceful. eg. 'paper aeroplanes' are automatically 'pressed', so the idea is inherent and doesn't need the triple 'p' alliteration. Leaving it out actually makes the 'paper aeroplanes' more effective, not less. 'Heat' and 'warmth' are repetitious; 'threaded to' doesn't really add anything and detracts from 'words that can't be worn' which is gorgeous. The concluding five lines are superb. I must be feeling my cheerios...I'm done.

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Reading a lot of Wilde, Kealan? Keep reading.

Comment is about A Corpse Is Not A Sandwhich And Other Ramblings. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

haha - a veritable smorgasbord of silliness - where DO you get those drugs ??

People neglect to count their legs regularly

Comment is about A Corpse Is Not A Sandwhich And Other Ramblings. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

I really liked this powerfully evocative poem.

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Greg and Julian. Thanks for your comments!

Comment is about SimonW (poet profile)

Original item by SimonW

A lovely poem, with a sense of longing...

My favourite lines:

'Heat, warmth, promise
dried to seed and sown in barren land
threaded to words that can’t be worn'

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

What a beautiful and passionate love story, Anthony.

You know how to draw in, from the title to 'How could they know?'...
as they infer a darker side, and yet, it is not at all what was expected.

Comment is about The Other Side of Kenneth (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

I was actually looking forward to this wedding - not too ashamed of being a monarchist myself having taken the Queen's shilling for many a year (I see Prince Wm - is now Hon. Colonel of my old regiment - regretfully was in a southbound coach from the north for all of 12 hours so missed the real time viewing though much enjoyed later at my daughter's house. Take a pat on the back Ann for posting your very apposite poem on WOL and giving us all an opportunity to comment. Didn't you just love the 3 year old in the corner with the hacked off look - priceless - someone must write a poem about the world through her eyes x

Comment is about royal wedding day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Liked this very much, Isobel. Those opening two lines sounds like messages written on flimsy forces notepaper during the war. I've certainly found correspondence like that recently that has moved me to tears, partly because it was written by a relative - a grandmother - that I never knew

Comment is about Memento (blog)

Original item by Isobel

yes, eugenie looked a bit of a twit with her antlers, but one or two duffers out of thousands ain't bad.
I was saying to the missus how nick clegg's wife looks a proper sight - like a flamenco dancer - then it turns out she's spanish! - better keep my detailed opinions on couture to myself I reckon.

Comment is about royal wedding day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Well turned out? Eugenie looked like she was wearing a pair of Antlers and Beatrice looked like a pantomime dame. I think the average woman in the street could have dressed herself in Oxfam and turned up looking better. That makes me sound awfully bitchy LOL! I'm only saying it cos they are so far removed that it can't hurt. The point I am trying to make is that wealth can't buy you class, deportment or taste. Can it buy you happiness? Perhaps up to a point but it takes other things as well.

Comment is about royal wedding day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove