Hi Antonioni,
Thanks for your comments on my blog entry 'Helpless'
I've tried one sonnet and it was not easy. perhaps I'll post it for your opinion. I enjoyed the image you created from the pictures on your daughter's wall. I liked the last line too.

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

My mum never knitted but your poem made me think of her. She liked her woodbine too, a long time ago. The last two lines say it all Thank you.

Comment is about Knitting (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

Wobble, Thanks Darren but I think I'll stick with it. I see what you mean, connotations of Rowan-Atkinson, who knows how to make wobble work his mouth, but the line -You wobble between parallel worlds - I like the sound the words make together in this line. I found this reference in wiktionary, 'The Earth wobbles slowly on its axis' and - Intransitive verb - To vacillate in one's opinions. - I'm wobbling between the Liberals and the Greens.
and in wikepedia, 'Milankovitch wobble, the change in the axial tilt, axial precession and orbital eccentricity of the earth over long periods' this made me happy with the word in the poem. No tuts and groans though. I love your comments and am very grateful for the advice and interest. I've learnt from it Thank you, please continue.

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hi Richard,
Sorry about the misinterpretation of your poem.
I read it 3 times and got the same feeling each time. It was as if he enjoys the silence of being alone but she simply feels lonely.
The bereft feeling i got was whenever he was about to leave.
I've just read it again and felt the same. Perhaps it's the punctuation or the way it's laid out on the page, but i'm certainly not the one to ask how it would read any differently.
Maybe other poets would see what is intended. But that's the beauty of good poetry. Each person who reads it will "see" something different, depending on how it relates to them.
Love Janet.x

Comment is about Richard Brooks (poet profile)

Original item by Richard Brooks

This is a great piece delivered with your usual wry observations. The last two lines, and their simplicity, say so much in just five words.

Comment is about Knitting (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

I will have to have another look Richard when I'm on train, it was highlighting dyslexia in some context but can't remember if it was just raising awareness.

Good to hear you're back look forward to more of your work, and will appreciate your comments. Didn't know you did films as well, nice one! cheers Jeff

Comment is about Dsyelxic? I tihnk not! (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hiya Carol,
I really felt this poem quite strongly.
Having lived with an alcoholic for several years, any addiction causes these feelings of bitterness, hopelessness and helplessness when the addicted seems to want to give up being as they are but seemingly do not give it any real effort.
Thoughtfully written but hard hitting truth also.
Thankyou, it reminded me of some very hard times but also made me realize how much i've managed to forgive.
Love Janet.xx

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hi Antonioni, for a minute there i thought you'd been to Madame Tussauds.
No offence to your daughter.
Great rhythm once again, good stuff. Keep 'em comin' as they say in the carry on movies.
Love Janet.xxx

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

Ha ha, even though i know it's not funny for a dyslexic.
" it took me a while to figure out "strange,"
but strnage this one definitely is.
Janet.x

Comment is about Dsyelxic? I tihnk not! (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Richard,
There are parts of your poem where i became, not a little confused.
"Your loneliness is my bliss,, cos you're feeling alone, i enjoy your kiss." These words make sense in that one persons being alone can be bliss for another, probably due to not getting enough time for self.

The 2 small stanzas, somehow left me bereft.
The sealed envelope sends shivers down my spine but the ending is fabulous.

Great to see you back. love Janet.xx

Comment is about As I Leave (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

thanks for the comments Jeff, I guess I had writers block of some kind, need to start writing films again for when I return to uni so been trying to turn to this writing more and been reading and stuff. I'll catch up on your poems soon, what adverts are these? Take care

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Richard, how's it going? What you been up to, not heard from you for a while?

Did you see my poems for July. The last one, about the man in the moon, was for my daughter, but the other two are very deep, the first one 'When will it pass' is personal.

Appreciate your thoughts if you haven't seen them, cheers Jeff

Comment is about Richard Brooks (poet profile)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Richard, on yer bike! I wondered where you had been!! Good fun, cheers Jeff

There's been some similar dyslexic adverts on the train station.

Comment is about Dsyelxic? I tihnk not! (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Richard!

We sit and try to figure out what it all means
how far does the universe go
will a parallel universe allow us to live out our dreams?

Brilliant, been thinking the same thing, only got frustrated and wished I hadn't bothered!

This is a great poem, too many good things to list, lovely lines though very thoughtful and very poignant, great stuff Jeff

Comment is about As I Leave (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Nice one Ant, I think they'd be struggling! Although I'm sure there'd ahve been something else, but maybe different people, who knows, cheers Jeff

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

Hi Carol, this is powerful stuff, and like Mel says its not preaching, more showing frustration about someone not doing what they really need to do, maybe to save their life?

Broken promises, excuses etc yes, it all sounds familiar to me, but there comes a time when one can only go so low, and while it can be heart breaking for those on the outside, hopefully the one on the inside will pull through, they just can't give up hope and they will do it.

Brilliantly written some very thought provoking lines to think about, best wishes Jeff

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

...and doing it is not the same as doing it right!

Hi Carol. There is a frustration and anger coating these words, which itself seems to suggest a personal experience of somebody close. It's disturbing how, even today, we cannot utter the word 'drugs' without it conjuring up all kinds of negative images. In your poem you have managed to say many things about a users mentality without even mentioning drugs at all. This technique - i like.However, you have a wonderful skill of including solitary words that stand out when I read your work. Is this intentional!?
In this case it's the word 'wobble'. There are no written rules, but 'wobble' has too much of a comedy onamatopeic (?) feeling to it. It belongs in jelly poems or juvenile poems about large breasts or other bits that are likely to do nothing else but wobble, if they are abused and not something as serious as this subject is usually considered. Unless of course, I have mis-read what it is that you're trying to say.
There are many poets on this site. Many of the female poets are exceptional and regularly produce work that I really do enjoy reading and there are those that are worth (in my opinion) commenting upon and offering advice. Unless of course, you believe Oscar Wilde's ideology about advice!
So, I would have another look at 'wobble' and ask yourself - does this poem deserve a 'wobble'? Is it suited to a 'wobble'. Is there another word that could absorb the 'wobbly animation' connatation and show us in a manner in which the rest of the poem deserves?
Feel free to tut and groan at this point.
As they say - keep on writing!

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hi Sean, what a superb poem, like a tribute in short story, lovely - love the lines

And everyone’s a stool pigeon at the Mucky Duck
Hitch hiking on their pensions for a glass of Guinness
The barmaid wears cheap hooped earrings
A present from her incarcerated lover.

Just one thing and its only me being pedantic, it should be - Your footfalls and - vines were never, it just interrupted the flow of a great poem -

Great lines though, very poignant and sad at the end, but a moving finish, look forward to more, cheers Jeff
Loads of great lines

Comment is about Little Digmoor (blog)

Hi Ant...

Now, it's no secret that I enjoy this type off poetry. Work that begins to show the reader instead of telling them what they should be seeing in their mind's eye.
I think the concept of how these stars would appear today is fascinating, but is answered in someway by today's definition of 'celebrity'. Just about anybody who can convince the rest of us that they are famous for nothing more than not wanting to remain anonymous.
Those 'sonnets' appear to have a hold on you at the moment but I sense that you're beggining to shift in your style. This is good news. Experimentation spawns many things - not least, more inspiration.
The last line caused me to wrinkle the bridge of my nose with thought and imagination - 'life's visual poem' is a great phrase.

Comment is about Stars stuck (blog)

nicely written Dave, as ever. It was so descriptive I could almost have been there; which is why I hated it so much.

Comment is about Hovis in Wonderland : Latitude Festival 2008 (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

Wonderful Sean

Comment is about The Shrink (blog)

i really like this poem. I enjoyed the rawness, passion and the honesty. I particularly enjoyed the ending...it is inspirational, without coming across as preachy. Lovely

Mel
x

Comment is about Helpless (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

a lovely poem Belle, the content and your style shows that Japan is making your poetry flower blossom.

Letter on way

Much love

Mel

xxx

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Belinda

Don't forget Carol that any one of other 25000 people there could have given a completely different account. As one of our team said "were you at the same festival as me?". Try limbering up with a little light camping in the back yard (tents from as little as £4.99 in Asda) with a bucket for your convenience, not washing for three days , a radio on full blast for 22 hours a day, and living on pizza, noodles and any alcohol you can lay your hands on. Have a fire in a wok, it works perfectly, but make sure the wood is slightly damp so that you get as infused as an old kipper. You're already half-way to the festival experience. Book tickets for the opera, theatre or music concert and turn up directly from your new abode to share the festival ambience with the other punters. You're almost there.Its never too late.

Comment is about Hovis in Wonderland : Latitude Festival 2008 (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

Thanks Dave, having NEVER been to a festival, or an open mike event this was a good read, took me there and made me wonder if perhaps one day?

Comment is about Hovis in Wonderland : Latitude Festival 2008 (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

A very poignant poem

'you feel the grudge from the men that live here'

there is a tangible reek to disadvantage. Your imagery is startling and thought provoking. I enjoyed reading this.

Comment is about Little Digmoor (blog)

I have edited this poem, swapping 'commodious birds' for 'relentless birds,' who appear to have relentlessly migrated from the July to the August blogs. Apologies for the repetition.

Comment is about Worn (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

What can i say, you make my words look lame, and my face look ugly. never thought i'd find a more handsome and talented man than myself.

keep up the goodness.

Comment is about Dominic Berry (poet profile)

Original item by Dominic Berry

Hi Sean, he never will mate. His mind is trained to see only logical reasoning.
Imagination and foresight erased.
Good stuff, i like this one. But i'll bet you don't see the same as me beyond the pampas grass.
Janet.x

Comment is about The Shrink (blog)

Hi there,
I always hated the Beatles as a youngster. Got really pissed off when they were always number 1 in the charts.

" If i was," is brilliant. Love it.
Janet.x

Comment is about Clare Kirwan (poet profile)

Original item by Clare Kirwan

Hi Alison, don't know why but i keep on wondering why we haven't seen anything from you recently.
Hope you haven't give up writing.
And i sincerely hope you are keeping well.
Love Janet.xx

ps. please don't feel pressured, it's just genuine caring for a great poet.

Comment is about Alison Mary Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

Like this, the way you've turned it round, great lines, although I thought the tennis had finished! cheers Jeff

Comment is about Advantage (blog)

A good poem Sean. Lots of word pictures and full of meaning, Tom must have been a friend.

Comment is about Little Digmoor (blog)

Kissing is an interview is wonderful! I am sure I have heard you perform that and I liked it then, but on paper I like it even more

Comment is about Mia Darlone (poet profile)

Original item by Mia Darlone

Didn't know you were on here Kylyra, but of great to see you here.. I don't think you need to know how good I think your stuff is, but it's excellent of course!

Comment is about Kylyra Ameringer (poet profile)

Original item by Kylyra Ameringer

Great poem, Derek as I told you on LSPC reviews a bit back! Hope you are well! Andy N

Comment is about Derek Adams (poet profile)

Original item by Derek Adams

I'm convinced blokes like messin about with women, err I MeAN messing about as women!

Comment is about The Liverpool Poetry Glam-Slam (article)

eye off the ball?
love all
so no net?
game set.
a super poem Antonioni

Comment is about Advantage (blog)

Nice one Antonio, you've set me up for the day in the rt race, feel very relaxed now! Nice lines and words Jeff

Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)

HI Carol, ITS WONDERFUL !!!!!

Comment is about Worn (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

HI Mark, nice little poem here. Not many sheep "farmers" around Texas. You will see them just once in a while. Could be they are all up in Washington dressed in wolves clothing.

Comment is about Little Bo Peep 2008 Remix (blog)

Original item by Mark Niel

Nope. sorry. not on this occasion !!!

Comment is about Advantage (blog)

I'm re-inventing the Beatles song at present.
Six days a week. Gotta scrape some cash back from June, when i couldn't work.
Didn't expect you to change it, it's yours to do with as you please.
Thanks for comment to my sonnet.
Love Janet.xxx

Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)

Haaa Haaa.
Baa baa black sheep would have been proud of her.

Comment is about Little Bo Peep 2008 Remix (blog)

Original item by Mark Niel

Oh yeah! Just like a man! Give in.
This isn't meant to be a tennis courtship sonnet is it Antoninoni? There's two painted lines missing.
Advantage me.
Your serve.
Janet.xx

Comment is about Advantage (blog)

beautiful idea of tennis and love. Ha ha love. That says it all. Nice one Antionioni

Comment is about Advantage (blog)

Hello stranger. My emails have been coming through a day late as well. Must be something to do with the weather eh?
Or maybe it's the earth doing another rotation, messing up the satellite systems etc...
( incidentally, it is actually getting ready to turn.)

Anyway, after that little gem, i like your words of wisdom. Absolutely spot on!

Hope you don't mind my saying though, the end of the second line, although it fits in with the rhyming scheme. Somehow it loses the rhythm.
Does that make sense. Ignore me if you like, it was just an observation i made as i read it.
Love Janet.xx

Comment is about Nice and easy does it (blog)

Thanks David for the comment.
hope you enjoy my myspace site.
i'm still learning all this, so some are better than others. i'll keep practicing!!!!
thanks
woman

Comment is about David Franks: Walkabouts Verse (poet profile)

Original item by David Franks: Walkabouts Verse

Lovely tribute Carol to a wonderful mum by the sounds of it, love the first 2 lines, Jeff

Comment is about Worn (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Thanks Darren,
I think you are right and I'll have a look at it over the weekend. Thanks again. I like constructive.

Comment is about Worn (blog)

Original item by Carol Falaki