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Martin Elder

Tue 10th Oct 2017 14:19

Thanks Colin, Patricia, David and Desmond for reading and liking. This is a piece of my childhood and what I remembered of it. I am not sure if you might know this road Col. It is in Portslade just up from the village. The road itself hasn't changed much in the last fifty something odd years, but there has been a lot more house building in the area.
Thanks once again one and all for reading and comments.
cheers
Martin

Comment is about southdown road (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Justine Chapman

Tue 10th Oct 2017 14:18

Well thanks deff great feedback!!! I've always wrote on and off so getting back into it because I really feel I can be really good at it!!

Comment is about These questions my heart needs to know (blog)

Original item by Justine Chapman

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Nigel Astell

Tue 10th Oct 2017 14:16

Where dreams were unfulfilled and snatched
Journeys going nowhere

two great lines of a Collage poem - - -
we can all dream about

Comment is about October 2017 Collage Poem: The Strangeness of Dreams (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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carol falaki

Tue 10th Oct 2017 14:00

Sad and thought provoking

Comment is about Unsmiling Clown (blog)

Original item by Wonderer

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Anna Marie Grinter

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:57

thank you x

Comment is about A Moment Of Peace (blog)

Original item by Anna Marie Grinter

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:41

Welcome back. I'll read this carefully tomorrow - today I've run out of time. Don't want to give just 50% of my attention because I'm 'rushing'.

Comment is about Lincoln Triptych (blog)

Original item by Chris Hubbard

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:32

Wit and wisdom, marvellously married in verse. It travels along in rhyme and rhythm to develop a whole, challenging 'story'. What's not to like!

Comment is about Salt and Light (blog)

Original item by Chris Hubbard

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Randy Horton

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:26

Really nice. This is the quote from Caliban in the Tempest it made me think of: "Sometimes I hear a thousand twanging instruments hum at my ears, and sometimes voices that send me back to sleep even if I had just woken up—and then I dreamed of clouds opening up and dropping such riches on me that when I woke up, I cried because I wanted to dream again."

Comment is about To dream (blog)

Original item by AM Cash

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:25

Delightful.

Comment is about Doors and Windows (blog)

Original item by Chris Hubbard

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:21

Welcome to WOL, Justine. You'll enjoy this site. We contributors are hugely varied in interests, but we all 'love to write!'

That's a lovely photo.

Comment is about Justine Chapman (poet profile)

Original item by Justine Chapman

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 12:16

This poem rings with sincerity, and surely reflects the thoughts of many young persons, boy or girl, contemplating a 'life-long' commitment. It is a fine 'list', maybe more of the 'head' than the 'heart'. But absolutely worth 'drawing up' for deep consideration, by both parties.

An excellent subject.

Comment is about These questions my heart needs to know (blog)

Original item by Justine Chapman

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:52

I'll try to catch up with more of your work, Lan. I'm not on site that much these days. Sorry to have checked in so late.

The poem here on your profile has some breath-taking ideas and skillful imagery. Not altogether easy to follow, but original, and yours! Great feeling, isn't it?

Comment is about Lan (poet profile)

Original item by Lan

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raypool

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:49

Thanks for stopping by Hannah, I appreciate your reading as I equally enjoy your work. Personally I try to avoid any destruction of living things - then again I am not vegetarian so there's a dilemma.

Thanks David; that line you mention I was pleased with . In browsing through gun magazines you get a flavour of this and the ritualistic process - nothing changes! I think there can usually be a back story that chimes if you open out the thoughts. The idea of an awareness of danger is itself compelling especially where creatures have advanced protection systems.
Thanks for liking Kevin!

Cheers and thank you all.

Ray

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:44

Much enjoyed - concept and execution.

I'm going to risk a small suggestion. Would you even consider omitting 'naked' in the last line? I've reread it several times, and I think it might be one word too many, maybe one 'n' too much. I feel 'nape' implies 'naked' quite strongly, all by itself, and the repeated 'long a sound' gives it a braying quality, while 'nape of my neck' almost feels like a 'nuzzle', which I think you intend.

This opinion is offered with respect and sincerity, because I really like it. If you hate such comments, just say so.

Comment is about Exquisite Vision (blog)

Original item by Lan

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raypool

Tue 10th Oct 2017 11:37

A wonderful trip into the possible with that tug of war feeling about it. Very enjoyable read with a sense of the dramatic Hannah. My older brother is the personification of the traveller, always restless and drawn back to revisit earlier visits. He is now 83, so this lends an extra punch to the poem for me. I like the comparison with a dance too.
Congratulations .

Ray

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Helen Elliott

Tue 10th Oct 2017 07:25

Thanks Tony ?

Comment is about Groundhog Day (blog)

Original item by Helen

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Raj Ferds

Tue 10th Oct 2017 06:38

I love the way it ends Justine. Funky and upbeat.
Don't let them get you down. That's the clear message from this poem. Nice one.

Raj

Comment is about The Way He Makes Me Feel (blog)

Original item by Justine Chapman

Ryn

Tue 10th Oct 2017 03:32

Really good! It makes you think and wonder.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Philip Stevens

Tue 10th Oct 2017 00:52

The spirit is cleansed

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Joy

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Philip Stevens

Tue 10th Oct 2017 00:50

I am now in oct 2018... what a journey ...

"Who knows what the new day brings and how the imagination will unfold "

Comment is about How to approach a new year (blog)

Original item by Joy

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Dalan Jahan

Mon 9th Oct 2017 22:49

What a nice poem it is !
Thanks poet for your great poem.

Comment is about A Moment Of Peace (blog)

Original item by Anna Marie Grinter

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Dalan Jahan

Mon 9th Oct 2017 22:36

He has gone this way
Dalan Jahan

Long-term wounds
He has gone this way
How many shades of flowers are inclined
He has walked far and wide in faraway places.
Crowded petals broke
He never hurts for him
Hemant's looted mall
The emotional emotional stroke
Somebody in the mind of the thought, did not rush
But how many times have they gone this way?

Every time in the darkness of gulf
He picked up, austere eye
Book far away from the road left
She was crying so loudly
The tree star gazes wet the eyes.


There were guests who were guests
They were sunflower arriving songs
It was a great day to celebrate every day
All of you are sunflower
He seems to have just gone this way.

Dalan jahan
Bangladesh
O9/10/2017

Comment is about Poem (blog)

Original item by Dalan Jahan

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AM Cash

Mon 9th Oct 2017 21:44

Sometimes you need space x

Comment is about I Failed, Miserably (blog)

Original item by Michaela Sheldon

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Greg Freeman

Mon 9th Oct 2017 19:29

It was indeed good to see you all at Marsden, Nigel - and your special T-shirt, too. Thanks to you all for coming - and good to hear one of John's poster poems, too. Pictures should be up here some time tomorrow. Greg

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 9th Oct 2017 16:18

An alternative title could have been "Home and Away", since, to adapt an old phrase "Home and away, it is the
best sort of this style of writing".

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:56

I hope - - -

Paul and Lynda can make it tonight with a van full of Lynda's new book!

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:53

Good to see

The Stockport Crowd

Myself
Martin
Andy N
A M Cash and
Dorinda

at the Marsden Poetry Jam

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Laura Taylor

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:46

Great poem, worthy winner. Fab - look forward to much more of your work Hannah.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:40

Taken your advice Ray and put in bloodpath instead

Comment is about Traumatised (blog)

Original item by Nigel Astell

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Nigel Astell

Mon 9th Oct 2017 14:19

Normal Comes Calling

Nights draw in
sleep comes natural
your mind awakes
it takes you
to somewhere else
unlimited thoughts travel
imagine how you
feel when normal
then comes calling.

The theme for tonight is - - - strange dreams

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

patricia Hughes

Mon 9th Oct 2017 13:07

This is a clever and wonderful poem,takes me back to my childhood too.

Comment is about southdown road (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 9th Oct 2017 11:52

well done Hannah on POTW. I have enjoyed reading your poetry since you joined Wol back in August I believe. It has also been a pleasure to see you develop your own individual writing style and themes. I sincerely hope that journey will continue to develop and expand in the future both here on WoL and in other literary areas. All the very best, Colin.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 9th Oct 2017 10:29

you've just described a whole chunk of my childhood Martin - especially the hiding behind the sofa during Dr Who. Mum was usually doing the ironing. Col.

Comment is about southdown road (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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lynn hahn

Mon 9th Oct 2017 02:32

Glad you were able to gleam something from the poem. I always learn useful information from our Write Out Loud family

Comment is about OPEN UMBRELLA (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

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Martin Elder

Sun 8th Oct 2017 22:59

This certainly has more than a hint of a romantic feel about it, and who wouldn't want to be following the traveller. It really sounds like fun. great poem Hannah. I was drawn in from the start. Congratulations on POTW.

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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kJ Walker

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:36

Congratulations on POTW. I loved this especially the ending.it left me wondering who was the biggest romancer.
Cheers Kevin

Comment is about 'The Traveller' by Hannah Collins is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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keith jeffries

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:22

Martin, Thank you for commenting on my poem Depression. It is much appreciated. Keith

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

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keith jeffries

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:20

Jon, Thanking for you kind comments on my latest poem Depression. Much appreciated. Keith

Comment is about Jon Darby (poet profile)

Original item by Jon Darby

<Deleted User> (18118)

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:16

I found this poem so moving.
I fear for the creatures because they know it all.
A great work.

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

<Deleted User> (18118)

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:08

When I read it I thought it might be about your father. Poignant, lovely.

Comment is about Tai Chi (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

<Deleted User> (18118)

Sun 8th Oct 2017 21:06

I found this very moving. Beautiful writing.

Hannah

Comment is about No Sacrifice (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

<Deleted User> (18118)

Sun 8th Oct 2017 20:50

Really enjoyed. Every line has something to offer.

Comment is about OPEN UMBRELLA (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

DESMOND CHILDS

Sun 8th Oct 2017 20:00

Thank you Cynthia and Martin for your kind and encouraging comments on my poem, your comments are always appreciated. Thanks.

Comment is about The Pinnacle of it all (blog)

Original item by DESMOND CHILDS

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carol falaki

Sun 8th Oct 2017 19:57

I'm delighted and looking forward to reading the poem posters ?

Comment is about Marsden's Poster Poems competition - here are the winners! (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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raypool

Sun 8th Oct 2017 19:07

Many thanks Patricia ; i'm always seeking for killer lines, i'm pleased you liked this !

Martin, i'm so pleased you liked this . I watched that full moon and it had a real presence to it! Thank you.

Thanks for liking Col.

Ray

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 8th Oct 2017 18:22

A haunting evocation of a nighttime quest. I especially
like "the weather of white wool, a cloud among the blue."

Comment is about 'Moving without sound as if charmed by the moon' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Martin Elder

Sun 8th Oct 2017 17:53

This is one of your best yet Ray. the whole poem is good but I love that
While fur frets in the burrow.
Nice one

Comment is about HUNTERS' MOON (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Martin Elder

Sun 8th Oct 2017 17:51

you caught me from the opening line. great poem Robert.
Love it

Comment is about Best Idea (blog)

Original item by Robert C Gaulke

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Martin Elder

Sun 8th Oct 2017 17:49

Brilliant poem Keith on a subject that can be difficult to share sometimes as some people still don't understand what it means to be depressed.
love that line in the third stanza
enthusiasm plummets
Routines are interrupted
life stalls, even fails

reminds me of a plane going down because the engine has cut out and then just at the last minute it restarts and the pilot is able to bring back up.
Nice one

Comment is about Depression (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

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Martin Elder

Sun 8th Oct 2017 17:40

I like the way you take the reader up there and a sense of awe and achievement at having done so.
Nice one

Comment is about The Pinnacle of it all (blog)

Original item by DESMOND CHILDS

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