Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Profile image

Andy N

Tue 27th Jan 2015 22:45

thanks Cynthia for your comment on 'the sermon..' thank you so so much for your praise which has made me blush a little.

this is a piece which has been in the back of my head for a few years and i enjoyed writing it big style.

thanks again

andy x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Andy N

Tue 27th Jan 2015 22:44

thanks Cynthia and Laura. Stunned by your praise in a good way. thank you both so so much for this.

this is a piece as i said before has been in the back of my head for a few years and i enjoyed writing it big style.

Comment is about The Sermon of Reverend Collier (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Profile image

Greg Freeman

Tue 27th Jan 2015 22:27

Thank you for marking this anniversary on Write Out Loud, Larisa.

Comment is about "Night will Fall" (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Profile image

Martin Elder

Tue 27th Jan 2015 18:24

Hi Cynthia
thanks for your comments on college years. This is based on some recent observations when I was travelling on the train to Wigan one morning last autumn. I think the girls were a mixture of natural blonde and the current fashion for not so natural. See you soon at Sale.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

adam beggs

Tue 27th Jan 2015 18:05

I really like this. Its really good work. (:

Comment is about Partly Political Broadcast (blog)

Original item by Chris Briggs

Profile image

Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Tue 27th Jan 2015 14:51

Thank you for your positive feedback.
Sometimes to convey a social message we have to shift focus from 'art for art sake' to 'art for life's sake' .I learned the advantage of exploiting literature in carrying across social message from Maxim Gorky.

About the language, for the sake of music I use inversion,in Ethiopian poetry rhyming is a must.


Any ways if the message finds its ways into readers' heart the poem has effectively served its purpose.

I read too much classic poems and evidently I must be some what shaped by what I read.

Thank you all.I am happy to keep in touch with so much knowledgeable poets at writeoutloud.com.

But in my country many people say my language is difficult for them!

Comment is about To hell I am inured (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Tue 27th Jan 2015 14:04

Absolutely fantastic Andy - you should be well proud of this one!

The syntax is incredible. Reckon this is the best one I've read by you so far.

The chaos of the room is totally re-created and re-presented here - marvellous stuff!

Comment is about The Sermon of Reverend Collier (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Profile image

Chris Co

Tue 27th Jan 2015 14:03

I've heard you read this many a time over the years Harry. Each time a delight, as fresh and beautiful as a meadow in sunlight. Gentle, lilting, evocative and just as good on the page.

Love to you and Yvonne from me & Nat

Comment is about Interlude (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Profile image

Dave Bradley

Tue 27th Jan 2015 12:23

Hi Cynthia. Thanks for commenting. And hurry up with that book!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Dave Bradley

Tue 27th Jan 2015 12:21

This one slipped past me Harry as I'm less on WOL these days, but it would have been a great loss to miss it. Full of romance in all the senses of the word, and with some lovely turns of phrase. Thanks for commenting on my last two, but this is better than either of them!

Comment is about Interlude (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Kenneth Eaton-Dykes

Tue 27th Jan 2015 12:16

Hi Harry

A very relaxing read, it flushed the unpleasantness of the day from my mind. Harry! Do not apologize for breaking accepted conformity. Should have been broken long ago. You pioneering little devil! The quality of this piece "I think" outshines most offerings on here

"Words, eased by a quiet need from a quiet heart"

(Sloppy old git)

Comment is about Interlude (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 27th Jan 2015 12:09

Excellent subject, good presentation in a nutshell. I do believe that people have always felt exactly the same bewilderment through all human development. And somehow, we do expand our mental horizons. But, no way can we absorb 'facts' like the automaton standing at our elbow.

Comment is about Mountains of Facts (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 27th Jan 2015 11:37

Terrific poem, Andy. Such a command of language and craft, to create 'theatre'; the atmosphere sizzles along and then trips lightly into your two-stanza ending with farcical humour. IMO, really,really good.

Comment is about The Sermon of Reverend Collier (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 27th Jan 2015 11:25

This is really good, Martin. IMO, many lines are outstanding; 'BRIGHT CAREFULLY SPRINKLED SPOKEN WORDS' is superb.

'hair long and blonde'? Was there a 'blond-dye thing' in those years? Or were those the only girls you/boys actually noticed? I like the honesty and hate the implication - my problem, not yours.

Comment is about The college years (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Profile image

Ged Thompson

Tue 27th Jan 2015 11:19

I love this line

'And let the slip-wind steal away your care.'

I dont know why, I just do.

I think this may have faired well in competition Harry.

But may have been wasted on what 'other peoples' Ideas of poetry are as you say.

This moves in a lovely fashion, at a lovely pace with a lovely sentiment.

Very nice work Harry

Going to send a link of this to my friend who will like it a lot I think.

No street cred as the streets are mean, but beautiful poetry

Comment is about Interlude (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 27th Jan 2015 11:17

Never be afraid of criticism of something which you sincerely believe to be a source of personal enlightenment. It is no one else's business. By the same token, pushing personal ideas about how others should think is not acceptable either. Persuasion is one thing; bullying is another. Leading by example says it all - either way.

So this little poem is a real prod to thought. Good for you.

Comment is about The Light of Faith (blog)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

Profile image

Ged Thompson

Tue 27th Jan 2015 11:10

Just to say Harry,

Your critique is always very gentle, courteous and kind.

I'm not in the habit of thanking people for a critique as such, as much as them taking the time to make that critique.

We would soon be drawn into thanking people for positive critique and not negative. Quite often it's the latter which helps us as much or even more than the former.

What I'd like to say thanks for is your honest critique and also for you being a gentle, courteous and kind person.

I normally send these things private to people.

But today....Fuck it!

Big public one on your wall to say thanks and I think You're fucking great! (-:

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Profile image

Ged Thompson

Tue 27th Jan 2015 11:04

They say wisdom is healed pain Harry

Thanks

Comment is about Hearts & Thorns (blog)

Original item by Ged Thompson

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 27th Jan 2015 10:48

Graham, it was a 'tongue-in-cheek' gift, to see if I would put my money where my mouth is. I am a sucker for a challenge, especially a dare. Actually, I checked out the 'fresh stuff' and figured we'd never eat it all in a month - like - I wasn't having a PARTY.

As for 'cultured', the in-joke among my friends and family is: 'You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl.' And it is only too true!

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Tue 27th Jan 2015 10:45


Wisdom beyond your years, Ged

Comment is about Hearts & Thorns (blog)

Original item by Ged Thompson

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Tue 27th Jan 2015 10:42

Alem,
I was impressed by the way the pidgin (but easily decipherable) language in this made the reader give more attention to the actual story. You are to be congratulated on your ability to use a `foreign` language so.

I wonder if it would help native speakers to make readers pay more attention to a theme if they tried their hands at a kind of pidgin`` poetry. I had a go with my canal boat post once (trying to point out the `miracle` of travelling uphill by water)

A very commendable effort.




Comment is about To hell I am inured (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 27th Jan 2015 10:29

Are you starting another career in Science Fiction? This is very vivid, captivating and thought-provoking.

Comment is about Eviction (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Profile image

David Subacchi

Tue 27th Jan 2015 08:47

Thanks very much Harry. I don't write many Villanelles so this was something of an experiment. However it seemed to take off and I was pleased with the end result. Glad you liked it.

David

Comment is about JANUARY (blog)

Original item by David Subacchi

Lan

Tue 27th Jan 2015 08:24

Hi Cynthia, thanks for commenting on Wonder Woman. I agree, the boob line is one I keep coming back to, will have to rework it a bit. Thanks for taking the time to read & comment, I really appreciate it :)
Lea

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Tue 27th Jan 2015 01:09

Dave,
Isn`t it funny how the scientific secularists reckon that no one else has noticed that there is a huge amount on inexplicibility about the world we all live in...and seem to rejoice and wallow about in it.
without searching humbly for some sort of reason why?

Comment is about Mountains of Facts (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Tue 27th Jan 2015 01:01

David,
I`m a bit behindhand but I couldnt`let this one go.

An excellently executed Villanelle (the second in a couple of weeks...see Dave Carr`s)

I like that three syllabled `traveller` in stanza four
and the way the formality of the form ``allows`` the `doth`.

Comment is about JANUARY (blog)

Original item by David Subacchi

Profile image

Anthony

Mon 26th Jan 2015 23:24

Thanks for reading ;-)

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Mon 26th Jan 2015 23:15

CBT haggis from a can??? And I thought you were such a cultured lady.
Well done on the edit MCN, I've called off the Tartan Jihadis.

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Profile image

Stuart A Paterson

Mon 26th Jan 2015 20:32

Good stuff, well deserved, going from strength to strength. Look forward to working with you this year :-}

Comment is about 'If we enjoy it we will try to publish it': Indigo Dreams aim to give new poets a chance (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Mon 26th Jan 2015 20:24

Thanks for the comments, appreciated. I have corrected the couple of typos.

Yes, I'll take the change on board and a little think about it. Thanks, Cynthia.

Comment is about Children (blog)

Original item by Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Profile image

Frances Spurrier

Mon 26th Jan 2015 18:03

Great to hear about the award. Go Ronnie!

Comment is about 'If we enjoy it we will try to publish it': Indigo Dreams aim to give new poets a chance (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Mon 26th Jan 2015 16:11

My question was about Burns Night - not Burns, tho' with hindsight I am minded to replace the harder "tolerate" with "bother with", not that it will be enough to placate the ire of those readily offended at the impertinence of my poetical presumption.
But I have at hand the following from you know who:
"Some rhyme a neebor's name to lash;
Some rhyme (vain thought) for needfu' cash;
Some rhyme to court the countra clash,
An' raise a din;
For me, an aim I never fash:
I rhyme for fun."
Cheers.

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Profile image

Tom

Mon 26th Jan 2015 14:24

Thanks for tip re: posting frequency. I don't get chance to type stuff up very often so I sometimes get a bit carried away :)

And thanks for the comments! Always appreciated. T

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 26th Jan 2015 13:00

Yes, it does. This poem is beautiful in itself, and is enough to 'stop the heart'.

Comment is about My Heart Is A Level Crossing (blog)

Original item by Tom

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 26th Jan 2015 12:18

This is a very powerful story. Overlooking the awkwardness of some muddled English, (which may be deliberate) the theme, the scope of expression and the relentless tone are well-expressed and quite evocative.

Your credentials are so impressive, this must be a kind of 'style' that you are developing as an identity.

I look forward to going back to prior posts.

Comment is about To hell I am inured (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 26th Jan 2015 12:04

I like the premise. I am encouraged to find and tidy-up a similarly-themed poem tucked away in a notebook. Thanks for the encouragement - it has been nagging at me.

Comment is about A Stranger's Smile (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 26th Jan 2015 11:46

Hard to believe you can be all those things and still be a loner; but I do know exactly what you mean - the hidden cupboards, the secret tunnels, the locked boxes etc.

Comment is about Jernau Morat Gurgeh (poet profile)

Original item by Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 26th Jan 2015 11:42

A good poem, capturing kids really well. I hope you receive lots of comments. I enjoyed it very much.

May I submit one suggestion?

'Scurrying like rats in the sewers
Swiftly hiding from the flashlight....'

which starts the lines off at a good clip, instead of a bit of a limp.

Perhaps you mean: 'mischievously down at you'?

Comment is about Children (blog)

Original item by Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 26th Jan 2015 11:26

What a lark! We celebrated 'Burns Night' with my first ever haggis (from a can) with mashed swede and potatoes, and a generous dopple of Scotch. Edible, very spicy, and definitely helped along with the booze (good quality stuff too.) I blush to admit I didn't actually get out my volume of Burns' poetry which I really meant to do, but time got away on me - although I do pull it from the shelf quite often - there are a lot of poems of great variety!

We shudder to think what 'lamb's lobes' might be. After we ate heartily, we looked it up, and found only 'hanging bits', at which point my husband turned almost green. But I reminded him of the Far East diets, and that it might just be the 'hanging parts of the liver' etc. etc. which even then seems a bit gross. 'Offal' is a really mixed bag, so to speak.

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Lan

Mon 26th Jan 2015 10:05

I really love this, and am enjoying all your other work too. Thanks for sharing it :)

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Sun 25th Jan 2015 22:57

How dare you MC

"Why should we tolerate Burns Night"

That's how it starts! Je suis Rabbie

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Sun 25th Jan 2015 22:50

I really like this poem, Tom, I find it quite song-like. Good one.

Comment is about My Heart Is A Level Crossing (blog)

Original item by Tom

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Sun 25th Jan 2015 22:37

Thank you very much, MC. I appreciate your comments.

Comment is about A Stranger's Smile (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 25th Jan 2015 19:12

awww! bless 'em all-the little....angels! very good poem tim.xx

Comment is about Children (blog)

Original item by Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Sun 25th Jan 2015 16:44

:D not in this lot, fortunately.

Comment is about A bag of things (blog)

Original item by Jernau Morat Gurgeh

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Sun 25th Jan 2015 15:44

Well intentioned and well deserving of success.
Poetry always needs this sort of positive and
enthusiastic approach to publishing and I applaud
the combination of the famous and the unknown
in print. Inspiration is not a one-way street.

Comment is about 'If we enjoy it we will try to publish it': Indigo Dreams aim to give new poets a chance (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Sun 25th Jan 2015 15:14

"Meanness of spirit" = the effects of whisky on muddled minds.
:-)

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Sun 25th Jan 2015 15:09

This is a most pleasing example of how to put a
moment of fleeting human interaction into words.
Spot on - with its content and rhyming pattern.

Comment is about A Stranger's Smile (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Sun 25th Jan 2015 14:22

Great line - I love it!

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Profile image

Tommy Carroll

Sun 25th Jan 2015 12:31

As a celebration of the great man's work, "Burns' Night" is an abomination. Forgotten is the very stuff of his driven beliefs. But your meanness of spirit is typical, with a show of generosity such work would be improved. Tommy

Comment is about BURNS NIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

More Comments

◄ Prev123 … 299 … 598 … 897 … 1196 … 1495 … 1794 … 18921893189418951896 … 2093 … 2392 … 2691 … 298729882989Next ►

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message