Dave,
You weren`t pedalin`, were you!
Stop bein` cruel :)
Comment is about Who was having more fun? (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
As a Bing Crosby fan I`m absolutely relishing the fate of all you later-on `World Shakers`(Just look at the cut of Jagger and the rest of them now)
I know they`ve got money - but the gobs on them! (As they say: `Everything comes...)
By the way,I like the way you`ve shortened the lines of that middle - mood and theme change -stanza, thereby pulling the begining up.
I also like the way the random rhymes help to `strap` the recount of the somewhat hectic theme together.
Enjoyed.
Comment is about Not so Bohemian now (blog)
Original item by Marksy
The reasons for marching in the prosperous West) are becoming depressingly fewer.
Think of it: `No more coal-smoke - (it-makes us all cough`)...`Don`t frack in my back yard`(It spoils my view)...`No more cuts` (you`re taking away my holiday money)
Why do they all sound so selfish?
Comment is about Peterloo (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Enough of a `story` in this to stop anyone snoozing their way through it.
Comment is about Zed (blog)
Original item by Tom Doolan
This needs a wider space between stanzas two and three.
I agree: an `ego` can`t get much brasher than to change the historical institution of marriage withiut hardly any reference to anyone at all except himself.
Comment is about Leader of the Tribe (blog)
Original item by David Lindsay
Karen,
Well written - and read - and music-ed.
Delighted with:
`and death by perspiration`
`Endure bifurcated grief`
Also enjoyed the comic walk and thunderstorm ending.
Comment is about grumpy summer (blog)
Original item by Karen Robinson
A good, well thought out, tender read. I liked it too.
Comment is about Camera Shy (blog)
Original item by Jonnie Falafel
Hi Nigel - a very warm welcome to WOL. Hope to see some more of your work on here soon. And hope you will enjoy being a part of the site :)
Comment is about Ian O'Brien (poet profile)
Original item by Ian O'Brien
Great to see you on here - and I love your profile page poem. I remember you well on that course - a wonderful poem about your mother making you some clothes? And you have a lovely voice! Hope to see more of your work on here soon. Enjoy granma-hood! And so glad you are doing well with your poetry! x
Comment is about Anne Maney (poet profile)
Original item by Anne Maney
Hello Anne. It is good to see you on these pages. I have noted the showcase event in my diary. Glad the course was useful.
Comment is about Anne Maney (poet profile)
Original item by Anne Maney
poundland tanning studios ........... and violent pubs
Comment is about StreetScene (blog)
Original item by David R Mellor
An historical tragedy. One wonders about the
ruling mindset - and its ongoing fear of "the
mob". A fear that would have also taken note
of the uprising and outcome of the French Revolution. It is still a fact that a large
group of people can be a crowd one moment, and
a mob the next - and that has never quite left
political thinking and actions, even to this day.
Comment is about Peterloo (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Ho-ho. That's something I hadn't realised.
Maybe...just maybe
She can't rhyme with baby.
If he was here now - by golly,
She could've asked Buddy Holly.
:-)
Comment is about In Loco Laureatus (blog)
Original item by Gareth Glyn Roberts
Ooo! Rousing! Would like to hear this performed. Open mic at the Diggers? I hope so.
One little typo - the 'littered with the bones' line, that should be a capital L.
Nice one our kid!
Comment is about Golgotha (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Awww, a beautiful piece. I too had a lump in my throat. So tender, and poignant. Thanks for sharing.
Comment is about Camera Shy (blog)
Original item by Jonnie Falafel
Ian, re Digital Equality - thank you! I preferred that version of the last stanza myself :) I've now dropped One and Two, tried out First and Second but they didn't quite scan right in my head. I think it's definitely improved it. Some come so easily don't they, and others...others are a right bugger!
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Thanks for all the comments, gents. I think that colonialism per se has been a global fact of life throughout recorded history. To the victor, the spoils!But it has hardly been restricted to "whitey" as so much trendy thinking these days would have us believe.
and I resent the huge disparity that this creates. Countries throughout time practised it but, with hindsight, it is now only the more recent invariably British variety that is roundly vilified for various reasons. It is this self-inflicted self-limiting narrowness of vision that I take exception to. JC refers to it as "self-flagellation" and I see why. History remains to tell us hard, often unpalatable, facts about the human condition. Sometimes, though, there are good things that come out of the "bad old days" to offer some balance to what has occurred. These should be recognised and even celebrated...not continually ignored or put down in an effort to be seen as liberal in a "multi-racial" world. The wheel turns and we are now seeing a more acceptable form of colonialism as millions from many of our former colonies choose to come here, legally or illegally, to live and work and influence our own way of life. Nobody asked me or my countrymen/women if we preferred to be left alone. Rulers do what rulers do and the world moves on, for better or worse - as it has always done. You may see this as good, bad or indifferent, depending on a POV.
"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them" - Lenny Bruce
Right - That's it from me...
Cheers.
Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Mark
nice, simple sentiment expertly crafted - liked it
Ian
Comment is about Your dawn chorus (blog)
Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson
John
maybe thy weren't 'after being prosperous - maybe they would have preferred just being left alone.
MC -it's amazing how often you cast the line hoping to get a bite - I'm sure you really do believe that colonialism was good for 'johnny native' and I'm equally sure you complain vociferously at 'johnny rumanian' coming over here and imposing his culture and language on us 'British whitey's' - keep casting and you shall reap old tyres :-)
Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thanks again Ian for the attention to my poems. It's much appreciated.
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Brilliant Jonnie - had a lump in my throat after reading this - a nice poignant pay off at the end as well :-)A very sad but uplifting tone throughout - really captures the bitter-sweet nature of relationships - liked it
Ian
Comment is about Camera Shy (blog)
Original item by Jonnie Falafel
Hey Newberry- take the ingredients of an an issue- sprinkle in misinformation, set it to boil on the hob of reaction- add a good dollop of sentimental bigotry, leave it to cool on a cracked window-sill, let the flies inspect it and 'voila' another broken 'thought-pie' to hurl at the whorled wary world.
Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
"You should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky" ;)
Comment is about WriteOutLoud Women Blues (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
What were you warming up for???? ;)
Comment is about The shortest poem wot I ever wrote (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Hi Cynthia - thanks for the welcome back! I hope all is well with you! x
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thanks for your comments on my January Fairy poem! :)
Comment is about Ged Thompson (poet profile)
Original item by Ged Thompson
Fri 16th Aug 2013 14:52
Ah bon! Je l'attende avec attention!
Comment is about Michel Francois (poet profile)
Original item by Michel Francois
a grand review that Greg, its effect being to make me envious of your presence there.
Luke Wright is a superb performance poet who generously invited Write Out Loud along to an Arvon poetry performance course he ran, to promote the website, which is also where we met his co-tutor, Francesca Beard, with whom I subsequently ran a course at the same centre. Small world?
Comment is about Luke Wright's Essex Lion prowls the sad-eyed lowlands (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
July 2013:
This month we had 12 performers and audience members including Guest Dominic Simpson and newcomer David Lindsay.
David had set himself a challenge some time ago to memorise one poem per month and he performed two for us this month very skilfully. He hadn't just memorised the words, he had also choreographed routines for each one.
Good Bits Feedback: host, space, sound, regulars, comfortable and friendly, great guest slot, good atmosphere and poets, liked Dominic's slot, enjoyed it, everything, great night, great night as usual, great night, friendly group and great atmosphere, always a great evening, great guest slot, well supported.
Areas For Improvement: DJ again lol can't be helped, cakes?!!! :(, missed the nearly dead poets, missed the nearly dead poets, I'd arrived at 6:30pm for a 7pm start worth changing on WOL website, could get more people, could it?
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 25 Aug 2013 (event)
very true that's the bloody north at present , well done
Comment is about StreetScene (blog)
Original item by David R Mellor
I totally recognised your sincerity in 'totem', because I share it. I actively soaked in so much 'Indian' history and literature as I was growing up in the region of the junction of the St. Lawrence River and Lake Ontario. I read countless books on First Nations mythology, with wonder and delight. I had to make myself be analytical, to dig a little deeper and put details into wider context. It's hard not to be reactive to European arrogance, throughout the entire world, not just the America's.
Would you believe, I am right now reading an old textbook called 'Breastplate and Buckskin' which details the European takeover of the 'New World'. It seems remarkably honest, considering the whitewash of history so prevalent in some major textbooks. It refreshes a whole period whose major points had become fuzzy in my mind.
The only thing 'history' is, is a 'story' as constructed by the 'winners'. Much deconstruction will surely come, even now, as scholars demand more honesty from accounts, and, by extension, inform ordinary people like us. Who can even trust the local and international news, let alone history!
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
I'm tempted to add -
Rolled over me in that class;
And however bad ya'
Acted I'm so sad ya
Left me alone on my ass!
:-))
Comment is about The shortest poem wot I ever wrote (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Thanks for your comments on my two latest posts. You alone seem to take the trouble to approach the need for "balance" on the subjects involved. The idea that "racism" is essentially attributable to "whitey" is nonsense and needs an occasional poke where the sun don't shine!
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
The most costly of all follies is to believe
passionately in the palpably not true. It is
the chief occupation of mankind...H.L.Mencken
Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
This is really quite close to my poem 'Walk to the Shops', written in January 2012, and published in the Leeds Debacle, page 7
http://issuu.com/thedebacle/docs/debacle8
Here it is in full:
WALK TO THE SHOPS
Slip into the sprinkle of a drizzle-filled day
Plastic bag crisp in hand, aiming for the shops
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Carry on
Past the step
yellow tread
bearing Bulmers: lippy-stained
halfway drained
Pavement decorated in
a strange shade of sick
J’arrive at ‘The Parade’!
The Mean Street of Thatto Heath
Stench of piss and pizza
wraps itself around my mouth
as I kick along the papers
that cradled last night’s chips
Pit-shaved grinning princess,
billboarded, looks down
From within her perma-tan, she oozes
anonymity
Blinding me with bleachy teeth and peachy poreless face
I hope to fuck my DNA does not contain that kind of clean
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Past the bus stop;
betting shop;
fag shop; tat shop;
takeaway; SALON;
takeaway; TANNING;
takeaway, takeaway;
CHIPPY.
Luckily:
‘health advice for minor conditions’ -
free inside the pharmacy
There’s no water in the fridges of the takeaway shops
And I didn’t want pop. They looked at me weird.
Social pariah, for wanting water.
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Homeward bound
Past the salon
Chip fat alley
Tan tat fag bet bus
Ministering pharmacist
Past the step
yellow tread
Bulmers gone
Small red shoe there now instead
… wonder who..?
Tiny tatty lone red shoe
Torn too. Wonder if she’s..?
Nearly home
Nearly there
Rid my mouth of piss and murk
Home from hell on earth
a walk to the shops
and a musing or four
And then I recall
I forgot
what?
I went for
Comment is about StreetScene (blog)
Original item by David R Mellor
Ian - ta!
Re the code - thought long and hard about that, and in one way, it's not a code, but in another, you use separate letters (symbols) to communicate meaning/represent words, so in THAT way, it is a code.
You're right, qwerty should be in capitals, ta. I did think about making the verses equal as it goes haha, trust you to notice that :D, but 'diarise' got its own line in the end, hence being one line longer. Could easily shuffle it back together again though.
That last verse - nnnggg. I worried that to death. Here's another version of it that I worked on, that I actually liked more, but another person I showed it to preferred the version on here. Would appreciate you looking at it (and using the 'Both' in this ties it to 'One' and 'Two'):
Both
hands clapping;
a parity of palm.
In goat skin tandem
slapping rhythm in a beat;
equality
in QWERTY code;
touch type testifies to
balance in the word.
One hand clapping
seeks the silence of the world.
Cheers!
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
I love fairies, this is very sad in a way and very poignant. I really felt for that poor little fairy.
But thats why I love fairy tales so much the yin/ yang, bitter/ sweet.
Hidden depths of darkness that lie beneath the sparkles.
I absolutely love this Poem,
Thankyou for writing it X
Comment is about january fairy (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Brilliant as always, very clever, but as dave so rightly said a little depth that could easily be missed, a reflective look at the former self, and how much you have changed since that time.
I love this stanza
Now I'm wondering if you think of me
as I now think of you?
whilst on the Piccadilly line
the Met or Bakerloo?
Are you roaming round the underground
like a lion round its lair
looking for that spotty girl
with specs and mousy hair
cos I hate to disappoint you
but she doesn't live there any more
she took a train to Wigan
to freedom and what's more...
You also then spin it and take power back as the now you at the conclusion of the poem with....
I'm beautiful
I'm beautiful, it's true
and if you saw my smile
you'd run a fucking mile
cos you wouldn't know what to do....
Think I was more checking in on you as a person than your poetry, I now see your doing OK my mate X
Comment is about Beautiful (blog)
Original item by Isobel
"With wit I write each platitude
In verses cryptic, crass and crude"
We all do, Ian. But yours are sweeter than most.
Comment is about The Wedding Feast (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
I must say, MC, so many of us seem attracted to the concept of self-flagellation.
The colonies were poor when we colonised; they were poor when we left. It does seem rather implausible that they'd have become prosperous if we'd never shown up.
Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Laura I have no way of contacting her- years since separation.
Comment is about After the leaving (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Good to see you back, Graham! or is that 'frack'?
important contribution to the debate.
Comment is about Gray Hamm (poet profile)
Original item by Gray Hamm
You have a point. Revised to make it more
accessible. Thanks for the useful comment.
Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Poetry unfolds itself
on every section
to inspire all.
Comment is about August Collage Poem - Age (blog)
Original item by Stockport WoL
Harry O'Neill
Sun 18th Aug 2013 15:04
M.C.
Even to a country-music ignoramus like me that sounds really good!
Comment is about DADDY KNEW JOHNNY CASH - A TRIBUTE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry