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Lynn Dye

Fri 16th Sep 2011 13:29

Thank you so much, how lovely you all are! xxx

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Laura Taylor

Fri 16th Sep 2011 13:06

Howdy John

I was made up to find it there, was only looking for The Bidding and must have missed it first time around.

Aye, me other half is a Leonard Cohen nut, and played it to me :) I love that 'we are ugly but we have the music' line - making me fill up just thinking about it!

I shall look up that band you mention :)

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John Coopey

Fri 16th Sep 2011 12:43

'Ey up, Monkey!
Thanks for reading Janis.
She was a bit special, wasn't she?
We have a kid in our village who reminds me of her. I first saw her about 3 years ago when she was 13 at a school talent competition. So shy she didn't speak or look up. When the music started this huge voice opened up from the bowels of the earth. I shuddered.
She's in a local band now called the Lucettes, which you can find on YouTube.
On another front (and pulling in the thread of sexy songs) did you know that Leonard Cohen's Chelsea Hotel was about his relationship with JJ?

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Neil Fawcett

Fri 16th Sep 2011 11:14

"up to my ankles in twilight". I like this line, not sure what it means though. I think I know what you're getting at in this well conceived poem, but I'm not sure whether or not you think that it is a good thing that the safety net is being removed. Are you sympathetic?
"every conceptual surface'. Irony? Or a recognition of graffiti as art? This is clearly a very thoughtful poem and there are enough clues in the title and the text without the final line. Good thought provoking stuff.

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Philipos

Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:40

Enjoyed this Lynn and agree with all comments thus far.

Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)

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Philipos

Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:37

Some really powerful images here and the poem has the reader wanting to know more about the realities of the situation which is always a good sign.

Comment is about A FACET ON THE SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT (blog)

Philipos

Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:28

I likewise enjoyed this Ann - skilful use of comparisons and language.

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Laura Taylor

Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:15

This reads like the writer is depressed - not sure exactly why but there's a muffled quality to it, an 'outside' feel. It might be the last 2 lines of the first stanza that does it.

Comment is about Look Back (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Laura Taylor

Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:07

I like this - and can understand your feelings in this. 'Weird delirium of pride' - well summed up that line.

Comment is about A FACET ON THE SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT (blog)

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Laura Taylor

Fri 16th Sep 2011 09:55

Ha - only just seen this John. Janis is incredibly important to me. She totally got me through being 15 and 16 - still can't listen to Little Girl Blue without being transported back to my achingly lonely teenage bedroom.

Don't suppose you went to the Summer of Love exhibition at the Liverpool Tate a few years back did you? I was browsing around, and then saw this Porsche...looked at the notice...and it was her's! I seriously just welled right up there and then - couldn't stop looking inside, imagining her sat there, driving round.

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Greg Freeman

Fri 16th Sep 2011 09:24

Like the observation of detail in the second verse, Lynn, and the flatness of the final line.

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Greg Freeman

Fri 16th Sep 2011 09:16

Like this very much, Ann. Getting limbered up for your trip to Lumb Bank? ...

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David Cooke

Fri 16th Sep 2011 08:49

No, I have no liquidity problems at the moment, Ann! and I think I noted a comment from someone else that you have really been on top form recently. Concise and on the money. Keep it up!

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Andy N

Fri 16th Sep 2011 08:39

nice stuff, kealan... agree with rachel over the disturbing images although my personal favourite is the 2nd stanza.. A

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Mick Waring

Fri 16th Sep 2011 08:39

Hello Ann. Thanks. We've millions of Kizzys addicted to their mobile phones.



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Andy N

Fri 16th Sep 2011 08:36

Enjoyed this, Lynn... Have you considered starting it from the 2nd stanza? Has a real power in it either way.. cheers - andy n x

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 16th Sep 2011 06:56

Ah, cutting off your nose to spite your face - I'm sure we've all done that! An honest read, and a good one too!

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 16th Sep 2011 06:51

Really lovely poem Lynn.xx

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 16th Sep 2011 06:49

Wow - thanks for recent kind comments on my poems Dave (you're not wanting to borrow a fiver are you?;)

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Dave Bradley

Fri 16th Sep 2011 00:13

A good one Lynn - has a kind of flatness in the style which reflects well how you must have been feeling. I hope it was a long time ago.

Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Thu 15th Sep 2011 22:49

Hi John - thanks for commenting on 'There be fairies' - I must get you to relate the story you hinted about! :)

Best wishes, Dave

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<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 15th Sep 2011 22:48


hey up!!!!
its only a cracker-thats all!!

well done you clever girl!!

me'n'her.xx

Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Sep 2011 22:07

Dry your eyes, Lynn.
Loved the 2nd and 3rd verses best.

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Neil Fawcett

Thu 15th Sep 2011 21:15

Thanks Isobel.

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<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:38


Hi John
hope you are back in poetical flow.

kindly thanks are yours
for your welcome comments
on my poem 'Wife'

both she and I thank you.

Patricia & Stef.

Comment is about John Embley (poet profile)

Original item by John Embley

<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:33


well chuffed Marianne
for your approval of 'Wife'

really appreciated.

Stefan.

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:25


Hi Lynn.

as always,we are grateful
for your kindness
to us both
in particular on this occasion
for comments on 'Wife'

Tricia and I send you
loadsa...xxxxxxxxxxxx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

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David Cooke

Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:06

Another gem. I must apologize, Anne, while you were so generously responding to mine I was overlooking how good all your recent poems are. So poignant and so unaffected. Lovely!

Comment is about arrival (blog)

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David Cooke

Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:02

Catching up with your recent poems, Ann, it seems to be that somewhere along the line you have taken them to a whole new level. This one like 'Peace' is really excellent: affecting and authentic. It seems to me to be a question of inspiration rather than just technique. Greg, is right. The precision and concreteness of the last stanza are excellent.

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David Cooke

Thu 15th Sep 2011 19:57

I think this is brilliant, Ann.

Comment is about peace (blog)

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David Cooke

Thu 15th Sep 2011 19:54

Hi Ann your comments on 'The Home' are fine by me!

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Jeff Dawson

Thu 15th Sep 2011 19:51

See you're getting straight to the point here John, well hopefully, give me a giggle! Thanx for comment on Time after time, I won't bark it out, I can deliver some in a refined manner! cheers Jeff

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Philipos

Thu 15th Sep 2011 15:18

Hello John (Townships) many thanks for commenting in your positive way.

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Ray Miller

Thu 15th Sep 2011 14:46

Thanks, Laura. I think it's one of my better ones too.I actually prefer this kind of irregular, internal rhyming also. It is a tale that one can draw a lot from.

Thanks, Greg.It's not something I'd considered doing live. It would ask a lot of the audience, I think.

Comment is about Leprosy (blog)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Sep 2011 12:05

This gut-fat-prick-fat-gut-fat-prick thing - shouldn't we all be recycling more?

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Sep 2011 12:03

It's alright for me to be a Dirty Berty - I'm a bloke! (just kidding).

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Sep 2011 12:02

Shame, Foxy?
I remember shame.
It came alongside guilt and puberty.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Sep 2011 11:56

Excellent John.
I had to look up the reference but I'm better for it.
Good on ya.

Comment is about Mutemwia (blog)

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Sep 2011 11:54

I caught one once.

Comment is about There Be Fairies... (blog)

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Greg Freeman

Thu 15th Sep 2011 10:26

Interesting, informative, raises a lot of issues. And very well-crafted. I'm sure this would / does go down very well live, Ray.

Comment is about Leprosy (blog)

Philipos

Thu 15th Sep 2011 10:26

Re: Townships, thanks very much Laura, I know people have very strong views about RSA and I did attempt something similar to this a while back but varied the theme because I am leading a group on African poetry in October. Your kind endorsement has more value than you may have realised.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

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Laura Taylor

Thu 15th Sep 2011 09:29

Oh this is goood. Not only a great story (I looked it up), but the way you've expressed it is noble, and to my mind, one of your better ones. I know you like to rhyme a lot, but this has lots of internal rhymes, which I prefer to the more obvious ones these days. There's a moral tone to it as well, that kind of 3rd person observation that can see and dissect the skewed approach of the white doctor.

Love that last line

Comment is about Leprosy (blog)

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Thu 15th Sep 2011 01:43

love the second verse. Powerful captions.

Comment is about Everything I Am Not And More (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Lizzie

Wed 14th Sep 2011 22:49

Thankyou, its a good thing :) x

Comment is about The end of an era (blog)

Lizzie

Wed 14th Sep 2011 22:48

Thanks :) that was lovely xx

Comment is about Just a little birdie. (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Wed 14th Sep 2011 22:11

Thanks for kind comments, Stef and Tricia. Hoping to win the euromillions myself this week!!!
(Apostrophes? Am I being thick again??)
Lotsa love from this scroat, Lynn xx

Comment is about Consumerism (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Lynn Dye

Wed 14th Sep 2011 21:57

Well written, I can associate with this, too.

Comment is about Everything I Am Not And More (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

<Deleted User> (6895)

Wed 14th Sep 2011 21:45


oh! well said Mother Dye!

you need money?

ok,ok-call me
after I,ve won euromills this Friday-

might give you a few quid-but!
it comes with 100% interest-haha!

very very good poem blondie!

(lots of apostrophes eh Lynn!!!!!)

and lotsa love girly
from the scroaties

Tricia & Stef.xx

Comment is about Consumerism (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 14th Sep 2011 21:36

Hello Andy :)

thanks for taking your time with my Joan..

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

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<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 14th Sep 2011 21:34

Ha ha Ann nice take on my poem...Nev (next door neighbour) cannot start his car without revving it up for about ten minutes..honestly he drives me potty at times!

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