At face value, terrific. Your unique poetic skills for novel imaging are flying. Choice of subject-brilliant: Who hasn't wondered at the kind of courage necessary for these 'acts'?
At metaphor level, intentional or not, even more electrifying as the situation covers every 'bondage' relationship I can think of, including marriage.

Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Enjoyed this Rachel. Good fun and some cracking phrases. Takes it one stage further than my 'Softer', which was a crap poem compared to this.

Comment is about They Can Be Polished (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Hi Thomas

Ann's comment sums it up for me. This is very good

Comment is about The Prettiest Music (blog)

Original item by Tom

Glad you enjoyed 'Martin' although I'm afraid it must count as a bit of a failure on my part. It's a true story and was meant to contain a bit of adolescent homoerotic longing as well as the story. I edited it out of a piece about twice as long. I was going to submit it for my final OU piece...but I think I've turned a semi-decent poem into a piece of whimsy by too much trimming. Still, the OU didn't say it had to be a 'serious' piece so maybe a comic piece will do. I've got to write 500 words about how I wrote it. 500 words on how I fucked it up would count?

Anyway...glad you liked it and many thanks for commenting.

:)

Jx

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Glad you enjoyed 'Martin'. Thank you. Sadly (it is a true story) we never went fishing together again. No-one seems to have mentioned the homo-erotic subtext...which is a shame as I wrote it to submit as my final piece for the OU course I've been doing. I've obviously edited it too hard and removed the tension and longing from it. There was a verse where I bit through the line and brushed his cheeks with my lips...but that was just tooo flaming obvious. When I removed it it turned into a comic piece in a flash. It had sounded rather tender up unitl then.
Glad you liked it though. It's still a poem!

:(

Jx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I'm glad you enjoyed 'Martin'. It may be my final piece for the OU course I've been doing. Nobody seems to have 'caught' the adolescent, homoerotic subtext. Is it that invisible?

The original draft was packed full of adjectives and explanation and then I whittled it away to the core...perhaps I did too much whittling? It's a true story. Seems I can only do true stories.

:)

Jx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Ann, many thanks for you recent comment. Means a lot. Regards, Thom

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Andy, thanks a lot for the comment, always appreciated. I agree about the final line too, not actually sure when that '!' got tacked on. Thom

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Not sure if you need the ! at the end off the piece, thomas but i enjoyed this.. nice one

Comment is about The Prettiest Music (blog)

Original item by Tom

enjoyed this.. the ending is like a magic rug - takes you somewhere else.. good stuff x

Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Have read this several times and I have to agree with Isobel
in that I feel it is about an illicit affair...

'She edged away from his satiety
And shrank into the tangled sheets,
Afraid of the noise
And perhaps the wrath of God.'

Lots of feeling and interesting imagery in this!

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

very different poem Ann,well done! but question,is this the portly Lady who has the last song? I always get the same request every time i,m about to warble in company-I think its called-over the hills and far away-? Stefanovelloxx

Comment is about the timid Valkyrie (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

does this knife thrower want a dispendable volunteer?her name?no not J.R. Hartley,some old crinkly scroat called......ah! I remember! Mrs Wilde-she,s lovely really,when she,s asleep!and my name?J.R. Hartley JNR.xx(are,nt deep polls wonderful!)

Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Och! wee McGladders! yeer tae bezzy wortchen pappy on tha pooper tae be drenkin annyways!de ya nae ken whys a be afterrr a wearin' a the wee respiratorrrr!ye mans always on tha parp am a thenkin'-Stefan'elp us all!xx

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Great poem ;-)) I had a mate like that once too.... I shot him in the back as he rode past on his bicycle with a Hawthorn Berry I'd loaded in my air rifle..... (he fell off) wouldn't play with me after that!! can't think why ??heh...
TC ;-)

Comment is about Martin (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

re:letter to a genius. i love the language and the words. would love more of a clue what it's about. am i a simpleton? louise x

ps. not seen you for ages

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

Hi Dave, I really like this one, very clever!

Comment is about Satnav life (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Think I agree, and, like magic, they are gone!!!

Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Yep, dirty bombs! :)
Rach
x = touche !
seeing as this subject is so close to many hearts, I'll post another in a very similar vein - you won't have to search too hard

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Ooh you have!I think it works better without the new ending but that's just me.
Love
rach
xxx

Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thank you for your so kind comments. I may have added a two word last line since you saw this poem. Maybe let me know if you think it improves or detracts! (Or doesn't make any difference!!) My poems pop out all at once and then the thought of adding or changing anything gets me in a state of seething angst! (Well, maybe not that bad!)

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Fab! I love the way your mind works and I adore these vintage pictures you use, they'd make a great book, the pics and your poems for each one...leather bound cover, dusty looking....I'd buy it!

Racheroo
xxx

Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

so really you're a "Stealth Bomber"

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

I know you did Ann and am very grateful for it, it just struck me that all the comments on the man overboard one could be really really funny if you pretended they were about the Poo one....I wasn't being very clear was I? :)
As for the masculinity thing, I am stuck at the moment writing about my late grandad, I must've written 3 this week that have ended up being about him. I dunno why, it's not the anniversary or anything and he's been dead 6 years but also a lot of the things I remember about him were about war and the navy and drinking. Think I'll get it out of my system eventually.
Rachel
xxx

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

I did comment on THIS poem too Rachelpoo! It's a totally diferent kettle of fish. Your latest output (no, I'm not talking about poos again!) seems to be taking a more masculine turn. V Interesting! xxx

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

I, like Isobel, must have a dark sense of humour too cos I laughed!I did enjoy the poem, I'm a sucker for nostalgia, very evocative.
fab.
Rachel
x

Comment is about Martin (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Hiya Greg, ta for the comment, you were close, it was(paraphrased from) one of my Grandad's experiences on a Flower Class Corvette in WW2,
Cheers
Rachel
x

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Yeah, it was him indoors indeed....I'm more of a five second stealth evacuator myself and rarely produce marvels!But look everyone...if you read these comments as if they were on the poo poem instead, it's hilarious!!!I've just laughed myself silly, and I haven't even touched a drop!Thanks for the comments everyone btw,lotsa loveRachxxx

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

No Mr Banksyperson, it was her HUSBAND that squeeezed it out previously (so she says!!)

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Funny, I wasn't at all surprised that it was you who had the best collection of floats, spinners and spoons and that they were all arranged in a pretty cool box too! ;-) I love poems about childhood memories, and this is jolly good! Hope you are still friends! xx

Comment is about Martin (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

Maybe I have a very black sense of humour but this really made me laugh!

I started off by thinking it was going to be a boring old poem about fishing - I should have know better...

I fell for it hook, line and sinker!

xx

Comment is about Martin (blog)

Original item by John Aikman

This does take several reads Cynthia - am still not sure that I have read it enough to comment. I love the contrasts in this. I am presuming this is an illicit relationship - if it can be called a relationship. She is very much the observer, connecting with her environment, emotions and nature. He is in the driving seat, disconnected - driven by the physical end 'he fixed the centre line'....
Sounds like a familiar story LOL
I like the way you use nature to reinforce her guilt and perhaps sense of self depreciation/deprecation.
I find the repeated image of daisies interesting. In the first instance the daisies are blind and rebellious, challenging the sun. In the second they are burnt and remain sightless. Are you comparing the woman to the daisies? I thought it was a sad poem.

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I found this to be a tense and edgy road trip, not a little dark too....... 'Goblins seeking sin' and Satiety all hint at darker things.
Atmospheric
TC X ;-)

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Lovely to read your work Thomas, your poems are always very thoughtful and this one is, I think beautiful. xx

Comment is about The Prettiest Music (blog)

Original item by Tom

What a lovely poem, I for one are glad you are singing again Annipoo
Luv TC XX

Comment is about on finding a voice (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I see you've squeezed out another fine one :)

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Ann- thanks for your comments & I agree - we all want to be loved; the ones who play it cool are only fooling themselves. Banksy

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

A very good afternoon,happy smiling Lady Jane-thanks for comments re-There but for the Grace.Yes I agree regarding this poem being performance piece-best regards-Stefanx

Comment is about jane wilcock (poet profile)

Original item by jane wilcock

I have really enjoyed this. i admit I prefer the more descriptive poems and this does it for me. the car journey is great

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Not sure I totally udnerstood this edgy, descriptive offering Cynth, but it sure gave an exciting ride.
Absolutely LOVED this bit...

"Through blank panes stiletto shadows

From the thrashing trees

Bounded down the bleak corridors

Like goblins seeking sin."

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Freddy Welcome to WOL. good to see you bringing some of your words to this site... hope to see more soon. winston

Comment is about Freddy Macha (poet profile)

Original item by Freddy Macha

Hi Cynthia, thanks for your comment, helpful and insightful as ever. I've corrected the typo. I can't decide about the opening line, I did wonder about it for a while but then I just got used to it being that way. I may yet adjust though... Cheers, Thom

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Yes.

Comment is about on finding a voice (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

You are in a groove now, Thomas, and the ideas beautifully expressed are just pouring out. Your work has the intensity of honesty, speaking for us all.


Did you actually mean 'bottles that once help parchment messages'? Also I do wonder if 'paracetamol tablet' in your opening line wouldn't be stronger just with 'tablet moon'; the brand name doesn't add much, and I think it jerks the rhythm around. I realize you are likely suggesting an 'addiction to OTC medication'.

Comment is about Echoes For Answers (blog)

Original item by Tom

Makes you catch your breath somehow. Very good. xx

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Great poem Cynthia, uneasy, tense and very easy to see it all in your minds eye. Love the goblins bounding down the corridor seeking sin! There must be a shady tale somewhere behind this.

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I can see the scenes 1,2,3 and 4 myself, Cynthia.. I do like a good story within a poem, and I enjoyed this in particular the lovely last line.. Nice one

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is very powerful, Rachel, tight, economical, uneasy and tense. It made me think of the Falklands war, and an Exocet missile coming out of a clear blue sky at one of our ships. I might be a bit off course, but that's what my navigation chart is telling me. Greg

Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Hi Rach-haha too re poo! one day I swear! I,ll take you away from all this madness and bodily waste-we will grow old together like two old and mothballed camels,and sing hymns in the loo! excre'mentally yours-Stefpan.(nearly bedpan but not quite! shite!)

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Good evening Cynthia."with odd punctuation of a one-light town" beautiful line from a stunning poem!So very much enjoyed.Poetry in motion,one could say.best regards-Stefan

Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas