The Kiss
It started so tentatively.
Arms reaching awkwardly,
a frisson of fear until
her arms respond.
A nervous coming together of lips,
which then part
to allow a hesitant foray
past the confines of teeth.
And relax,
as tongues begin to twine,
at first timidly,
then with increasing confidence.
Gradually, the embrace becomes tighter,
yet more comfortable,
bodies a...
Friday 28th December 2018 1:50 pm
Theresa May Not
Theresa’s been down on her luck
Cos Brexit is coming unstuck
She’s twisted and turned
But now she’s been burned
And nobody’s giving a snowball’s chance in hell of her succeeding
Tuesday 11th December 2018 2:36 pm
Heartache
Pains in the chest that woke me up at half three,
Ambulance to A & E isn’t where I want to be.
Trolley in a corridor,
Waiting for a doctor,
Nurses busy running round tryin’ to get the queues down,
Shiver while I’m waiting in a split-right-down-the-back gown.
Lying in the heart ward, wired up like a switchboard,
Watch the nurses passing, looking at their clipboard.
Tell...
Friday 7th December 2018 11:57 pm
Christmas Is Coming
They tell me that Christmas is coming
And those dozen drummers are drumming
But the pipers I think
Have had too much to drink
And their conduct’s become unbecoming
Thursday 6th December 2018 9:41 pm
Twitter Twit
Twitter twit tweets: the world waits in fear of re-tweeted Armageddon.
Monday 3rd December 2018 1:06 pm
Christmas Fairy
I want to tell a story now, it happened long ago,
So gather round and pay a heed to me.
It tells us of the reason, ‘cause I’m sure you want to know,
Why the fairy sits atop the Christmas tree.
It had just got past midwinter and old Santa Claus was vexed,
The rebellious elves were going out on strike,
And Mrs Claus upset him with the news she gave him next,
That her mum wa...
Tuesday 27th November 2018 3:27 pm
Jackie And Frankie
In the garden was a snowman and the kids had called him Frankie
He came to life at midnight Christmas Eve
And he set off round the neighbourhood in search of hanky panky
Or that’s what I was given to believe
As he passed along the street he met a snowgirl name of Jackie
Upon her head she wore a sexy hat
So he asked if he could talk to her and promised nothing tacky
She said that he could ...
Friday 23rd November 2018 1:53 pm
Fake ID
D’you really think I’m gonna serve you, kid?
That fake ID won’t do no good in here.
The Follies ain’t some dive run off the grid,
Where punks like you can go to blag some beer.
You can’t fool me, I’ve seen it all before;
I bet your mother doesn’t know you’re out,
And if we have to kick you out the door,
She’ll hear about it, and you’ll get a clout.
Yeah, just beca...
Thursday 22nd November 2018 1:45 pm
Near-Death Experience
Vicarious trauma of near-death experience
Can make you wake up to existence’s transience,
And threat of decease or cessation of sentience
Can come as a bit of a shock
When someone who’s younger and normally healthy,
Is on an IC ward for treatment quite lengthy,
You pray she recovers and gets through it safely,
But still you will pause and take stock.
For all of th...
Monday 19th November 2018 2:29 pm
Moaning Lisa
I wish he wouldn’t wink at me like that!
He told me I must sit here and keep still.
Between his bushy beard and silly hat,
I don’t think there’s a chance I ever will.
Old Leo is supposed to be the best,
And said for us he’d paint a masterpiece;
For just a little gold, we’d be impressed,
And want to hang it on the mantelpiece.
But sitting on this chair for hours o...
Sunday 11th November 2018 3:12 pm
A Cup Of Franglais
Avez vous un cup of tea
J’ai besoin for a rest
Mes pauvres feet hurt aujourd’hui
It would be a beau geste
Maybe just une demi-heure
Relaxing sur la chaise
Sitting on ma derrière
Et me mettre à l'aise
A biscuit too to dunk dedans
Oh please mes chers amis
It makes it easy on mes dents
If that would be permis
Merci for your sympathy
Jj'espère it’s...
Sunday 4th November 2018 11:21 pm
Strangler Fig
In the beginning I felt nothing;
she was just an itch
barely deserving a scratch.
Then I started to notice;
she was there each day,
and she grew on me.
I enjoyed the attention,
encouraged her,
spoke to her,
basking in her devotion.
She began to take over my life,
and at first it was a joy,
an easy relationship
where we both prospered.
L...
Wednesday 31st October 2018 2:29 pm
Samhain’s Night
With harvest safely gathered in
This Hallows Eve, the dead will rise,
To haunt the homes of kith and kin
With echoes of the banshee’s cries.
Then fearful folk will all withdraw,
And leave outside their sacred gift;
Remaining safe from tooth and claw
Of spectral shades who cross the rift.
Deep in the throes of Samhain’s night,
When terror pounds the panicked bre...
Friday 26th October 2018 12:25 am
Keeping Warm
It’s time that the story was told
How passion that night took a hold
There was snow all around
But they happily found
Not everything shrinks when it’s cold
The temperature dropped through the night
But they were so filled with delight
That they did it again
And again and again
And once more before it was light
Sunday 21st October 2018 8:14 pm
Bloody Christmas
They’re selling bloody Christmas,
It’s already in the shops
It’s just half past October
And they’re pulling out the stops
I really can’t believe it
But the local Carvery
Has set up by the entrance
A confounded Christmas tree
There’s cards of Christmas greetings
Now appearing on the shelves
They’re stirring up the fervour
In receptive under-twelves
...
Monday 15th October 2018 8:16 pm
Goodbye
Replete with woodland’s banquet, now the flocks
Begin to gather for their winter break;
As trees cast off autumnal russet frocks,
A rustling blanket in the summer’s wake.
Then swirling, now transparent, now opaque,
A roiling cloud that stains the sunset sky,
Till all at once a shared consensus makes
A turn, to arrow swiftly up so high,
Without a backward look, nor pause to ...
Saturday 13th October 2018 12:43 am
Over Easy
This egg was a little bit sleazy
They reckoned she turned over easy
Showed off her sunny side
Right down my throat to slide
And now my poor tummy’s turned queasy
Friday 12th October 2018 2:31 pm
Where’s The Chuffin’ Cheese
That day my sweetheart landed with a brown bag in his hand,
I was sitting in the sunshine at my ease.
He put a burger in my hand and I couldn’t understand
Why he’d brought me one without the chuffin’ cheese.
It was beautifully done, with a lovely seeded bun,
But the look I gave him put him on his knees;
When he said “What is it hon?”, I said it simply isn’t done;
It’s ver...
Thursday 11th October 2018 4:07 pm
Close Your Eyes
It’s time to put away the toys
And lay your heads down sleepy boys
Wearied now from all that play
Because you’ve had a busy day
Hush those drowsy tears and sighs
It’s time to rest and close your eyes
So come my little manikins
Let Mommy kiss and tuck you in
Monday 8th October 2018 6:11 pm
Evanescent
The moment I met her she robbed me of sense
I thought that I loved her but she was a flirt
Who talked a good game that was all a pretence
Served up the hors d’oeuvres but avoided dessert
So curvy and carefree, she brightened each day
Her joy evanescent like scent on the breeze
But all my illusions were soon washed away
As her words like a knife cut me off at the knees
...
Sunday 7th October 2018 11:51 pm
Keeping Up Appearances
Lies and damned lies, political promises,
Sound bytes all studded with prevarication;
Eloquent rhetoric, doesn’t care what he says,
Carefully crafted to hoodwink the nation.
Stands tall and true like like a sturdy young oak,
A trustworthy face is his expertise;
Everything hidden with mirrors and smoke,
Smooth obfuscation to hide all the sleaze.
Adopts cause célèbr...
Wednesday 3rd October 2018 6:39 pm
Trump
Axiomatical
Not allegorical
He’s almost comical
President Trump
Manners are bestial
Extraterrestrial
Take a sabbatical
Go take a jump
Monday 1st October 2018 4:27 pm
First-Born, Second-Best
Sent off to school and warmly dressed,
They said they loved him but they lied.
He was first-born, but second-best;
A sister came, pushed him aside.
He tried his best, worked very hard,
They never noticed what he did;
Became reclusive, quiet, scarred,
They never sought him when he hid.
He was a sad and lonely boy,
While she had laughter in her life;
He watche...
Sunday 30th September 2018 11:38 am
Pi
Irrespective of how much you try
The irrational nature of pi
Means when you do the sums
The result never comes
There’s just numbers in endless supply
Friday 28th September 2018 1:15 am
Banned
Some people just don’t understand
My girlfriend’s quite hard to withstand
As I tried to please her
Bent over the freezer
The man at Waitrose said we’re banned
Monday 24th September 2018 10:53 pm
Hyperbole
I love you to the moon and back,
But what about the air you’ll lack?
You really look a million bucks;
Wrinkled and green, oh man that sucks!
So hungry I could eat a horse;
But that’s absurd, I’d burst of course!
I have a million things to do;
Please don’t be daft, that’s just not true.
It took forever to arrive;
If that was so, who’d be alive?
...
Sunday 23rd September 2018 11:59 pm
Overweight
A tad overweight, I am self-diagnosed,
I need to get rid of some weight.
I’ll be breaking my fast on boiled eggs and toast,
Now doesn’t that sound truly great.
It’s no more for me that old bacon and egg,
With sausage and mushrooms and beans.
Don’t give it me no matter how much I beg,
Or I’ll never fit in my jeans.
It’s built through the years and I’m really ashame...
Tuesday 18th September 2018 12:51 pm
Seasons Haiku
thrusting green shoots
speckle dark branches
a sparrow alights
floral perfume
on mellow evening breeze
a blood-red sun sets
autumn coloured leaves
covering forest glade
a murmuration flies
stark dank branches
clawing into dark skies
a snowflake falls
Thursday 13th September 2018 10:30 pm
Lamborghini
She wore an almost there bikini
In a brand new Lamborghini
Have a look, her motor’s running
Aren’t those bumpers really stunning
Great suspension, lovely action
That rear end has got some traction
Purring like a pussycat
I’d love to fool around in that
Love the lines and love the curves
See the sexy way she swerves
Showing off the special tooling
Have you...
Tuesday 11th September 2018 1:22 am
Silhouette
Bleak
barren limbs
tall and stark
claw into evening sky
silhouetted against the setting sun
trunk
dank
glistening
waiting for green buds of spring
Monday 10th September 2018 12:54 am
Respect
The spotlights have been dimmed
Words of homage fill the page
Every eye with tears is brimmed
For the Queen has left the stage
Such memories are rooted
In songs we can’t ignore
But now her music’s muted
She will sing for us no more
And though we are bereft
This comfort comes to mind
The legacy she left
Is there for all mankind
Friday 17th August 2018 12:58 am
A Day To Remember, A Day To Forget
A day to remember, a day to forget,
A day that is etched in my memory yet.
A day that began with a stunned disbelief,
A day to come home to a house full of grief.
A day when they tell you your father has died,
A day when you wish you could just go and hide.
A day when your mother has tears on her face,
A day when relations support and embrace.
A night so surreal w...
Friday 27th July 2018 3:36 am
Halo
before I knew it
we had talked right through the night
and as the sun rose
her hair became a halo
in whose brightness I was lost
Wednesday 25th July 2018 12:08 pm
Kitchen Clutter
Into the kitchen, surrounded by clutter
Crumb-covered plate sitting next to the butter
Coffee stained mug at the edge of the sink
Put on the kettle to make me a drink
Dust-dotted gadgets lie dormant, unused
Wearily waiting in vain to be used
Bottles of wine in the half-empty rack
Patiently wait for the corkscrew’s attack
Deafened by silence that echoes so loud
...
Monday 25th June 2018 1:38 pm
Please Hold
We are sorry, we have not been able to answer your call;
You are third in the queue.
Please continue to hold
And your call will be answered
As soon as an operator becomes available.
I don’t have any milk,
I’d better add that to the list.
Wonder what they’re up to next door?
They’re making a right racket.
It must be…
We are sorry, we have not been able to answer your c...
Tuesday 12th June 2018 12:17 pm
Death
is so untidy.
It sneaks up when you’re not ready.
Doesn’t give you a chance
to return the library books,
or cancel the milk.
It would be far better
if it could make an appointment,
give you time to finish what you’re doing.
I get that it’s inevitable,
that nobody escapes it.
Maybe you can evade it for a while,
but sooner or later
you know it will come,
the fi...
Wednesday 2nd May 2018 5:46 am
Gathering The Turf
To the bog again,
with the ghosts of forefathers looking on,
surveying the task before them.
Along the turf face, the marks of the sleán,
slim, practised cuts,
a tribute to skills passed down the generations
who have worked this land
beyond memory.
Still-damp turves to turn,
dry stacks to gather in.
Fuel to stave off the cruel winter about to come.
Fuel to feed the...
Monday 30th April 2018 3:00 pm
Pizza
A pizza base to die for,
I eat the edges first,
With toppings I can savour
Until my tummy bursts.
Its taste cannot be faulted,
With mushrooms, not a few;
There’s capers, small and salted,
And ham and olives too.
It’s heaped with mozzarella,
And a spiced tomato paste;
A taste of vita bella,
So let nothing go to waste.
I’m going there for dinner,
...Sunday 29th April 2018 12:47 am
Postcard
We went to the seaside to sit in the sun
Sending home postcards suitably dutiful
And on them we wrote with a sense of good fun
Weather is here, we wish you were beautiful
Saturday 28th April 2018 2:22 pm
Shakespeare
Alas poor Bill stopped writing long ago,
By now his ancient bones have turned to dust.
He’s famous for his plays as we all know;
Back then they did but purchase him a crust.
We still enjoy performances today;
The tragedies and comedies so famed,
Of kings and princes, and the Scottish play
That superstitious actors rarely named.
The words of this Elizabethan bard
...Saturday 28th April 2018 12:56 am
Election
The elections are here, for whom should I vote?
They’re drilled by their parties, repeating by rote;
Most don’t even live here, they’d have to commute,
To visit the voters in their snazzy suits.
We tell them what’s wrong, and they listen and smile,
And say they will fix it, but might take a while.
No matter which party you speak to today,
They promise and trot out the sam...
Thursday 26th April 2018 5:02 pm
Mo Salah
Mo Salah this season
Beyond hope or reason
Is scoring for fun
And still isn’t done
Wednesday 25th April 2018 4:37 pm
Weather
Yesterday was summer but it’s now gone back to spring,
With just a hint of winter as it has a final fling;
The weather’s topsy-turvy, no one knows what’s coming next,
All the TV weathermen are baffled and perplexed.
They show us all their graphics, with those charming little signs,
And wave their arms and smile at us while trotting out their lines.
They talk about the weathe...
Tuesday 24th April 2018 5:23 pm
The Bus Is Out Of Control
Some days it seems like the bus is out of control,
and you’re not sure if you’re actually on the bus,
or if you have just been left standing at the stop
as the bus sails past.
Then you start to think it even might be the wrong bus,
but it’s about to pull away from the stop,
so you leap on anyway.
You ask people where this bus is going to,
and nobody seems to know;
or at ...
Monday 23rd April 2018 2:22 pm
That Moment
There is a moment when you know,
Transcending hope and pure desire;
You feel the kindling of the fire,
So certain now how it will go.
No more ambiguous disguise,
But confidence and surety;
You see what her response will be,
It’s clearly shining from her eyes.
That instant fixed in memory,
The exultation thus enshrined,
Forever burned into your mind,
That ...
Sunday 22nd April 2018 2:26 pm
Falling Star
He’s slipped from the ‘A’ list right down to the ‘D’,
His career has slid into decline.
He once almost daily was seen on TV,
Now only in re-runs on-line.
His name is no longer the top of the bill,
More often it’s not there at all.
They say they will call him, but they never will,
Such is the extent of his fall.
His fortune has slowly been frittered away,
Like h...
Saturday 21st April 2018 12:34 am
Less
Now winter’s loosed its icy grip,
It’s time to think of how you dress;
I’m not suggesting you should strip,
Just give some thought to wearing … less.
Discard concealing fleecy coats,
And lose the scarves and woollen mitts.
Bring out the shorts, a dress that floats,
Surprise us with your tailored … fits.
Embrace the sight of cloudless skies
In clothes to set our...
Friday 20th April 2018 2:10 pm
Footsteps
Footsteps echoing
on wet pavement.
Dull yellow light
filtering through misty rain,
casting shadows
on decayinging bricks
of the sleeping street.
A sudden movement
races the pulse.
Pausing to look,
relieved at her own reflection
in the curtained window
but the pavement still echoes….
Friday 20th April 2018 12:39 am
Ghost
Leaving.
Ripping me apart.
A sense of disbelief,
beyond the ragged edge of reason
into oblivion,
where I must consign you
as if you never were.
For how could I bear
knowing you were there
and now are not.
You are a non-person,
a ghost,
a shade of a dream
to be quickly forgotten
if I am to survive.
Wednesday 18th April 2018 4:22 pm
Lascivious
He was so lascivious
But she was oblivious
He tried to be devious
She thought him just piteous
He said she was beauteous
But she became dubious
Said he was hideous
That he made her bilious
She heard he had previous
His nature perfidious
So she became furious
Blew her top like Vesuvius
Then he was discourteous
Became acrimonious
But she was i...
Tuesday 17th April 2018 9:01 pm
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