Yes D.K. great poem you have captured perfectly the hopelessness.. Last stanza says it all..?
Comment is about Shopping Cart (blog)
Original item by d.knape
Thank you
Jon, Hannah, Big Sal, Brian,
Hugh, Anya, Avishek.
The fact you take the time to read and like or comment on my poetry continues to be a source of great encouragement to me. ??
Comment is about The King of Inishturk (blog)
Original item by Taylor Crowshaw
<Deleted User> (18980)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 17:33
Yes it is sad to see people that seem to have slipped through the cracks in society and we can only feel sorrow for them.
On the other hand (and I expect to take some flak over this) there are are lot of others who beg on the streets or intimidate people, particularly females, at cashpoints and parking ticket machines. In my own town I know for certain that a number of them are not homeless and they beg as a lifestyle choice. They let their dogs crap all over the town centre and leave empty beer cans and cider bottles where they want to with no thought or respect for anybody else. And yet a whole army of left wingers demand that I love and respect them. Which I don't.
Comment is about Shopping Cart (blog)
Original item by d.knape
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 17:21
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 17:13
Brilliant.
Love this poem. We've all seen people like this.
Most pass by without a thought but this gives the person life and a character.
Hannah
Comment is about Shopping Cart (blog)
Original item by d.knape
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 17:10
I love the way you read this poem.
I have to say I've seen the Queen in real life (whatever that is ). When I was a young child we lived in West London for a while and the Queen would sometimes go by in a large black limo as we were coming home from school. She had a small army of macho motor cyclists riding in front and behind the limo. She didn't smile or have a crown on but she was the Queen. She was returning from those garden parties.
I hope you get to meet her one day Ray and I hope she smiles. I think she would like your poem.
Hannah
Comment is about ROYAL DISAPPOINTMENT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 16:34
This would make a humbling inscription in a museum next to a plaque.
But I'm sure you already knew that. . .
Excellent piece.?
Comment is about The Damned - 1916 (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 16:32
Metaphysical rebirth can be a beautiful thing.
?
Comment is about Mirror (blog)
Original item by Jezer Ureña
MC.,
Even Sassoon criticised a military elite who enjoyed luxury whilst the average tommy took the brunt. We speak of an age which bears little resemblance to the world of today. The Great War was a war fought between monarchs who were related to each other and happy to send their troops into a futile war in their names. Your King and Country needs you¨. The Kaiser was an expanionist as was the Austrian Emperor. The bloke in the street was the lamb to the slaughter. Many subalterns led charges but where were their commanding officers? How many of their names do we find on War Memorials? Few!
Thank you for your comment
Keith
Comment is about The Damned - 1916 (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Well, it didn't hurt anything. Cheers.
Comment is about Cultivating Life (blog)
Original item by Randy Horton
MC.,
Thank you for this. I shall bear it in mind.
Keith
Comment is about Poetry & The Great War, a series: 3 The Battle of the Somme (article)
Original item by Mike Took
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 15:17
Lot of verbs and adjectives thrown in the mix to keep things interesting - and keep things moving.
Last line had it sold.
?
Comment is about Baggage Claim (blog)
Original item by Pagan Poetry
On a purely technical side (and noting it continues to this
day) is the use of "(did) flutter" and "(did) stutter" - NOT
"fluttered" and "stuttered" - arguably more effective in their
context. Using words like "did" (and similar) seems archaic
even then, and certainly now when used, mainly, it seems,
to provide a "filler" for a line.
Comment is about Poetry & The Great War, a series: 3 The Battle of the Somme (article)
Original item by Mike Took
The place of generals out of the line of fire appears to be
a fairly recent phenomenon, bearing in mind the likes of
the Earl of Cardigan leading the Charge of the Light
Brigade, and US Civil War generals doing likewise - Pickett's
Charge at Gettysburg etc. As for "class" being a factor,
it can be forgotten that many of those young officers
leading their troops "over the top" and dying in the process
were from what is termed a privileged background nowadays, including the offspring of the generals themselves. Duty was a sacrosanct word for that generation...lest we forget.
RIP - 2nd Lieut. E.V. Venner
The Rifle Brigade - killed in action
18 August 1916 Delville Wood - age
24.
Comment is about The Damned - 1916 (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Either you want your country governed by those you elect
to your own Parliament and who can be canvassed and
dismissed on a national level - or you want your country
run by others beyond these shores, ready to take the
money you contribute, which is handed back in "gift
form", along with the dangers of uncontrolled borders -
and little say about any of it.
Call me old-fashioned but this Englishman prefers the first
option.
Comment is about Not Trusting Our Votes (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
It defies common sense, let alone a basic understanding
of the human condition to see these items as taxable
(e.g. luxury) items. They should be categorised as
"essential health items" and issued accordingly.
Comment is about A Bloody Disgrace (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
Fat cat or fat rat
Career politicians have the monopoly on that!
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
I'm reminded of Hammerstein's lyric for the Soliloquy from
Carousel - about "my boy Bill/not being president unless he wanted to be".
Trump certainly breaks the mould of the "professional politician"...and it shows, good and not so good!
Comment is about You could be president! (blog)
Original item by hugh
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 13:13
I love this poem. Full of charm and beauty.
Hannah
Comment is about The King of Inishturk (blog)
Original item by Taylor Crowshaw
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 12:39
You continue to improve with each piece you put out, well done on this Taylor. It's very well put together, the lines hold their rhythm like a bucket with crystalline water, and the fact that it's in your 3rd anthology makes it that much more interesting.
I still have to get your 2nd book though.
Like I said, gotta keep up with ya.?
Comment is about The King of Inishturk (blog)
Original item by Taylor Crowshaw
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 12:36
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 12:34
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 12:33
Second to last stanza sticks out like a sore thumb.
Well done on this one too.?
Comment is about Going, going but not gone (blog)
Original item by Joanna Halliday
Big Sal
Wed 17th Oct 2018 12:30
If I were you Jon, I would've just continued to walk with bloody fur on my shoes.
?
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Thank you Jon, I am not sure many think animals worthy of poems especially the humble donkey..I do..but then I am biased as I have five miniature donkeys. They are extremely gentle intelligent creatures..?
Comment is about Jon Stainsby (poet profile)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Just brilliant, Don. Oh, I laughed! Made my day. And today is my birthday! A great gift indeed.
Comment is about MIND (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
<Deleted User> (18980)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 11:15
Fine, all three. Did her technique work...who knows?
Comment is about Cultivating Life (blog)
Original item by Randy Horton
Now Chris and Kate you've me confused
'Bout which frequencies I have seen
Are they blue or they green or they reddish ?
Now so mixed up is my colour scene ?
Comment is about Colour 309 U (blog)
Original item by Chris Armstrong
Thanks, Wendy and Hugh.
I saw a rat this morning on my way to work. Along with the news I heard about Mr. Trump and his tweets on the radio I had to meld the two together.
Funny that??!!
??
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Love this, Taylor.
xx
Comment is about The King of Inishturk (blog)
Original item by Taylor Crowshaw
It's not so much about 309 U
As about perception
Do the same neurons fire for you
Or are you an exception!
We both call grass green and sky blue
- that's what we learned to do
But perhaps your brain sees green
And Kate G sees what I mean
As something I would call red
Instead!
Comment is about Colour 309 U (blog)
Original item by Chris Armstrong
Luxury!!?? Ridiculous that they are taxed.
I personally believe they these products should be, if not, free then, subsidised on the health service.
Nice one, Don.
Comment is about A Bloody Disgrace (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
You are an inspiration ,could be subject of the week.
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Hi Jon at least Donald is not Pied Piper in Reverse Wendy x
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Brian
It takes a mass movement of people
To sort out the problems we face
If left to politicians it's hopeless
They only want to win their electoral race
I can scream, I can shout all I want to
Wax lyrical on double-u-o-ell
But I'm just a poor lowly little poet
Who's saying what I want, want to tell
No dear reader, it takes more than one
To change things to how they should be
It takes a mass movement of people
It takes a lot more than just me ?
Comment is about A Bloody Disgrace (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
Thank you, Taylor and Brian.
Brian, I try to feel a tinge of empathy for the man, but his antagonistic attitude towards things and people really goades me.
Oh well, life goes on. ?
Thanks, again.
Jon
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Lovely poem Chris...and an interesting subject..?
Comment is about Colour 309 U (blog)
Original item by Chris Armstrong
<Deleted User> (18980)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 07:36
Don you should run for office and sort out all these injustices.
Comment is about A Bloody Disgrace (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
<Deleted User> (18980)
Wed 17th Oct 2018 07:33
Poor old Donald. He's much maligned and misunderstood.
Comment is about The Rat (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Clever idea...like the poem..?
Comment is about At The Poetry Factory (blog)
Original item by Robert C Gaulke
John Coopey
Wed 17th Oct 2018 17:51
Don't weep. Laura. You've seen this before. Spring is round the corner.
Comment is about The Colorof My Mood ... (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska