Brilliantly spun. Well done.

Comment is about what is trust (blog)

Original item by Ben Chronister

Some strong thoughts and valid conclusions in this.

Comment is about No Place For Angels (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Really good, Martin. Well caught scenario. The brevity works well.

I think you have the odd word serving no real purpose. Any chance I might be right?

Comment is about rainy day in may (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

I'll try. I'll really try. Excellent piece of work this, funny and challenging both.

Comment is about Give Me An Original Metaphor (blog)

Original item by Connor Lannes

Bless you, Child! You are among FRIENDS who know exactly where you are now. And who cheer you on with lumps in our throats and tears in our eyes. Such honesty becomes a woman who has much to say. Let the poetry begin again, with unbelievable sources of material to draw upon, past, present and future. Keep everything! Notebooks and pencils might be better than computers/phones because they travel so well in pocket or bag, and they become a separate, special 'place' for thoughts. Besides, it's still the finger to pencil to paper 'thing' that has a hint of magic in it. Your own 'writing'!

Hope the GCSE's are going well, and the teething.

Comment is about Milestones (blog)

Original item by Candi

There's a video version of this poem at https://youtu.be/l3ob9GcL9kk

Comment is about The End of May (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

Great to see Tony get the recognition he deserves at last, but it's a pity it was such a tragic event that made it happen. He was one of the first guest readers I saw when I started going to open mics about 15 years ago, and I've always regarded him as one of the greats among performance poets.

Comment is about Tony Walsh reads 'This is The Place' at Ariana Grande concert for Manchester bombing victims (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I missed it first time round too. Absolutely wonderful poem - incredibly strong.

Comment is about 'As if the song would come again' by Mikhail Smith is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I spent a number of months visiting my late mother in a
place called "Silverlawns" - a residential home that offered
security and a place to call her own in her late onset of
dementia. I much prefer Ray's version!! Thanks for the
chuckles that brought back earlier memories of a
previous establishment above the local harbour where she
met and found late happiness with her third husband.
NB - Silverlawns, like my mother, is no more...a victim of
time like everything else in our world.

Comment is about HOME STRAIGHT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Thanks both.

Thanks Colin, I agree there's nothing that reminds me of summer more than swifts and swallows. I did think of holding back until later in the season but I think the recent warm spell had me thinking about those balmy late summer days.

Comment is about Late Summer (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

Hello again Hazel - I'm more than happy with a bit of insplagiarationism! - one of the wonderful things about WoL is the way we trigger dialogue and response through poetry and commentary. So bring it on is what I say. I'm also flattered that you found favour with my Fun in a Fiat 500 - phew! It did strike me that your Earsplitting was on a similar theme when I read it. All good stuff and nothing to forgive whatsoever. All the bestest, Col.

Comment is about Hazel ettridge (poet profile)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Hello Ray, thank you for your comment on A Wartime Journey. I was born in January 1948 so am only able to recollect the aftermath of the war in and around Birmingham. My poems covering this period and also the Great War are taken from the experiences of family and friends who lived through these times. I hope I do justice to their memories. Later this year I hope to publish a book which will include two sections of poetry devoted to the World Wars. I´ll keep you posted. Thank you again for you comments as always they are much appreciated. Keith

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Kim, this beautifully crafted poem entrances me into a realm of history the portals of which lie at our very doorstep, Thank you indeed. Keith

Comment is about Chalklands (blog)

Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond

True to life experience thou haha. Thanks!

Comment is about Last poem that I will right for you (blog)

Original item by Gelo leysa

Thanks for your thoughts I appreciate it.

Comment is about Change (blog)

Original item by Gelo leysa

I love to read pieces of experience like this Keith. I'm interested to know if this happened you or to someone close. I can sort of equate this to any suspension of time backed by fear; while not on this level I was trapped in a holiday chalet with a raging storm last year so this brought back a little of that angst! There is almost an atmosphere of War of the Worlds about the distant threat and the orange glow.

Ray

Comment is about A Wartime Journey (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Nous te remercions, Louis. pour tes bonne voeux.

Comment is about From a Canadian friend (blog)

Original item by Louis Audet

Start breaking up those lines about shoes and love creating worry into a poem....... I managed a few poems when my lads were young, they may not be my best, but they heartfelt and bring it all back now!

My youngest is doing GCSEs right now too.....to me, being the support as they do exams is FAR worse than the middle of the baby night feeds. No wonder you are tired.

Comment is about Milestones (blog)

Original item by Candi

lovely poem Martin but can't help but think your cafe needs cheering up with this chap:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MShWyT5g96c

Comment is about rainy day in may (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

is this one of your manifesto pledges Suki?

Comment is about Sanitary Towels For Men (blog)

Original item by Suki Spangles

for once I am lost for words Ray ?

Comment is about HOME STRAIGHT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I actually quite like the rawness of this. It might not be perfect but I'm not sure I agree that it's all downhill from the second line. There is a start, middle and end to the poem, the three parts connect to each other and the end refers back to the start. The title is excellent and I love the line 'Artex ceiling or stars overhead?'.

with some considered editing, the removal of repeated words and some further thought to rhyme I think you could be on to a winner. But therein lies the difference between a winner poem and just another 'way too many' poem that Adam referred to. It takes time and patience to refine the latter into the former.

WoL is an excellent forum to learn and seek advice so it's good to see that you are open to that Liam. Good luck with your writing.

Colin.

Comment is about Life Loved To Death (blog)

Original item by Liam

Thank you both for your comments. I tend to write my poems the moment that I get an inspiration to do so. I agree that the poem could be developed further, but what I really wanted was feedback. This is in a very raw state and I am sure that it could be improved upon. I found a flow and just went with it, which is maybe a tad lazy. Next time I have an idea I will write it down in a raw state and then edit it to see if it can be developed or expanded upon. ?

Comment is about Life Loved To Death (blog)

Original item by Liam

Hello Candi, do you know that Write Out Loud is currently running a poetry competition on the theme of Milestones? I wonder if you could take some of these thoughts - the frayed shoes perhaps - and write them up in a more poetic form. Here's the link if you're interested in submitting something:

https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=65658

btw, I enjoyed your sample poem. Hope you find some time in your exhausting new Mum schedule to post some more of your poems.

all the best,
Colin

Comment is about Milestones (blog)

Original item by Candi

Liam, I agree with all that Keith says. Well done.

I'd just add that, even in doom-mode, the first line is the best (=carries the most significance; is worth pursing further, rather than merely being one of many miserable cliches strung together) the second line continues the promising theme- not nearly so well, but that can be remedied- and... it's all downhill from there.
I'd probably go with the idea that, following the first line: we do it anyway. I'd develop that thought even if still ending up miserable about it (other veiws are available) because I think there are way to many poems that amount to "fuck this mate, just fuck it"

Comment is about Life Loved To Death (blog)

Original item by Liam

I could certainly understand "sanity towels" for what we
put up with these days ?

Comment is about Sanitary Towels For Men (blog)

Original item by Suki Spangles

Liam, a poem of doom but rich in reality. I enjoyed the honesty you have portrayed which many must feel at one time or another. Thank you for this. Keith

Comment is about Life Loved To Death (blog)

Original item by Liam

A fine poem, lovely description

Comment is about rainy day in may (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Just because the memory is so vivid, Graham, doesn't mean that it happened!

Comment is about THE GOBBLER AND BLACK DOG (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Ray, this is just so very good. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about HOME STRAIGHT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=67351

Comment is about Tony Walsh reads 'This is The Place' at Ariana Grande concert for Manchester bombing victims (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

You're definitely getting better all the time. I think this is your best yet . I could almost smell the acrid smoke.

Kevin

Comment is about Air Raid (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

For all who commented I feel I should point out that I deliberately misspelled Karaoke as Karioky ! Not that you all didn't know that.

Ray

Comment is about O TO BE A POET (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Suki, I am relieved that you thought this kind as I felt I took a liberty at the expense of some aspiring writers. So thanks for that especially!!

Thanks Paul. You're the sort of neighbour I would like when I pull the curtains apart !

Comment is about O TO BE A POET (blog)

Original item by ray pool

A thoroughly good read Hazel. Love Momentum and momentous. I notice the blue murder reference of the owl and then the impact seems to elucidate that. Clever stuff.

Ray

Comment is about Earsplitting (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Nicely logical Ben - like a circle there is no dividing it, unless of course it fails. I hope it doesn't !

Ray

Comment is about what is trust (blog)

Original item by Ben Chronister

this. is. amazing.

Comment is about Sanitary Towels For Men (blog)

Original item by Suki Spangles

this really touched me, you use the english language in such a beautiful way, I can't even describe what it is that I love so much about this poem. All I know is that your writing has access to my spine.
Immediately added you as one of my favourites!

Comment is about Post Traumatic Echos (blog)

Original item by Dana Lyn

and so say two of us!


xx

Comment is about Forever Show Your Love (blog)

Original item by Wendy Higson

Thanks so much for your kind comments, Harry.

This is the first time, I have actively sought 'honest' /real comments on my efforts and (having just been entertained by your fine works and therefore reassured that you 'know what you're talking about'!) I am thoroughly heartened by your response to one of mine.

It is sometimes challenging to be confident enough about your own work, despite your friends telling you that it's 'great stuff' so when independent valid critique is received, it's such a boost.

Much appreciated.

Comment is about 'Pet Project'! (blog)

Original item by John Andrew Nield

John,
Subtle, first-class stuff!

I like the `water-otter` `kettle`, and (sinkable`) `mettle`
(and the - very protectionally convenient - Monster)

All up (and down) to the `Otter he couldn`t re-use`

Also, I don`t think your scanning could be bettered.

How this makes one mourn for the return of rhyme

Comment is about 'Pet Project'! (blog)

Original item by John Andrew Nield

Comments much appreciated. This began as a Haiku ages ago -
In red cardigan
She free wheeled down the hillside
Screaming with laughter

But I couldn't leave it as pure joy - it had to get darker!

Comment is about Earsplitting (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Wow, in fact, bow-bow! What a wonderful set a
of comments. Thanks for each and every one. So many of you have encouraged me so positively from the start, you've no idea how much that has helped and I'll always be grateful to you. It makes writing so much more rewarding.

I'm also chuffed because this is my 100th WoL poem. I tried for ages to write something to celebrate, like '100 Not Out' or 'Doing A Ton' but, sadly, nothing came. But I'm so glad you liked this.

Paul

Comment is about A Dog's Life (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Well done Ray, you made this brother chuckle and for that aythangyow ?

Paul

Comment is about O TO BE A POET (blog)

Original item by ray pool

How very dare you JC! Memories better cherished than shared. I wonder what their recollections are?

Comment is about THE GOBBLER AND BLACK DOG (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

There should be really clever name for that moment, that infinitesimal blink between ecstasy and oblivion!

Good work!

Comment is about Earsplitting (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Martin, thank you for this. You are right it was inspired by the aircrews of many bombers who flew missions over Germany during the last World War. They possessed such immense courage. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about Air Gunner (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

I loved this when I first read it.

The "compactness" of the writing into such succinct rhyming verses (apart from the last two lines which I think is inspired) seems to mimic the writer's sentiments perfectly.

The reader doesn't need anymore than what is written.

Many congratulations on POTW and I must echo Colin's request for more please.

Comment is about 'As if the song would come again' by Mikhail Smith is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thank you Colin!

Comment is about Chalklands (blog)

Original item by Kim Whysall-Hammond

"To eat to be happier
The body gets flappier "

Those lines are going to stay with me as I eat today!

Comment is about A little something to eat (blog)

Original item by Wonderer