Terrific! It rocks along a fine story with gusto. Love the incongruous ending. I needed a good laugh.
Comment is about Supermarket Space Invaders (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Andy, I'll try to get to read more of your work. I did enjoy 'Milestone' very much. And I bet you would be a star reader of your own work. Failing CSE English means nothing.
Comment is about Andy Smyth (poet profile)
Original item by Andy Smyth
I'm delighted to get feedback on this offering , to tickle the curiosity tastebuds, thank you all.
David, that clip is dead right for effect and in spirit -that leaves a big unanswered question. It seems to pull the carpet from under the film , which is what I like about the Coen brothers .
Thanks Andy - well spotted - it sort of oozed out, who knows
what words are going to come in - that's the challenge I suppose.
HI Col. You have that taped alright . I guessed your liking for the science fiction aura might come into play.
Difficult keeping up the voice -i'm not an actor, so that's another challenge!
Harry, I am highly flattered. Very stimulating response, and I see your Holmesian magnifying glass at play. I can only agree that you have extracted an essence of what I was after. The form point you make is certainly worth exploring - perhaps others more acquainted than me could work on that...
Mark: I took a chance in the conversational tone that I would take a tumble, but I thought, what the hell? The gentle and informative Alistair Cooke was a revelation of course and sadly missed. As he got old he measured his delivery for clarity, so professional. As far as the A to Z goes, perhaps it is time for more aliens with jump leads.
Bless thee selves for taking the time.
Ray
I didn't see you there Cynthia, so you have a postscript! Glad you enjoyed it and glad I was provocative. Thank you.
I think i'm right in saying that the idea of aliens coming here was taken up by Erick Von Danniken years ago and writing Chariot of the Gods - so the idea is not entirely original by any means. The book was derided at the time as being the work of an inspired crank.
Comment is about MOMENT OF TRUTH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
You are in fine form with an excellent contribution to just plain enjoy, and secondly to seriously ponder. I do like thought-provoking poetry.
Comment is about MOMENT OF TRUTH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Delightful - in thought and construction. I'm presuming a kind of hasty 'jumbledness' is what you've aimed for. The rhymes and part rhymes are well hidden, but they're there.And the rhythm. Like crabs underground.
Comment is about Called Back To The Sea (blog)
Original item by Adam Whitworth
Welcome to WOL, Jeffrey. You will enjoy being here. I think everyday life is the only inspiration, our human commonality.It is the stuff of poetry.
Comment is about Jeffrey McGehee (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffrey McGehee
Strongly put and greatly moving. Would you consider breaking the long lines apart? I don't think you would lose any of the desired impact. Excellent last line.
Comment is about Self Perception (blog)
Original item by Jeffrey McGehee
Thought-provoking. I do like it.
You want 'red hair' in that line, understandably. As it is, it's a bit of a stumble. Would you consider simply 'With your red hair free'? You lose nothing but the trip-up in the rhythm. 'Free hair' is open to wind, rain etc. all weathers. Just a thought, with respect.
Comment is about The foggy, foggy dew (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
I took effort to read this through three times, and each reading seemed better than the one prior. I can only think that the original scan confused me with the visual layout of the words themselves. But I stuck with it.
And I grew intrigued with the interplay of words which turn upon themselves in metaphor. At least, I think they do. And now, I quite like this poem.
Comment is about Half Moon (blog)
Original item by MyDystopiA
Are you the gentleman I met this week in WOL, Sale?
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you aren't, obviously.
Comment is about Neil Robertson (poet profile)
Original item by Neil Robertson
Delightful - vibrant and hopeful in tone, fresh ideas of imagery, and thoughtfully structured. PLUS - a good title.
You have the knack of selecting very engaging details to build the whole, all of them working together. For me, that is an invaluable asset in any writing process, but in the essential brevity of poetry especially.
Comment is about Under a Different Cloud (blog)
Original item by Neil Robertson
Glad you took Colin's advice.
I like the discipline in this - a good idea firstly, and then a secure grip on your chosen structure of rhyme and rhythm. It takes both talents to write good verse.
Comment is about I, Once Removed (blog)
Original item by Neil Robertson
Stalin completely outmanoeuvred Roosevelt and Churchill at Tehran. There never was any prospect of the USA and Britain intervening on Poland's behalf at the war's end when Stalin had a tank on every street corner in Eastern Europe.
Comment is about KKK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
This took me to those wonderful
Alistair Cooke "Letter from America"
radio programmes. Quality story
telling!
The use of words is vivid! Highly enjoyable in its content
and contention that there is so much we don't know - and
as we age, we also see even that becoming less and less if
the fates conspire against us...to "shut us down" just like
the computers we have invented to take the strain off
our brains.
If human progress is an alphabet, how far down the list
of A to Z are we?
Comment is about MOMENT OF TRUTH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
The callous cold-blooded nature of these executions finds its origins in the treatment of countless millions
in pre-war Russia under the tyranny of Stalin and his cronies.
The barbarity is the behaviour of those for whom life is
inconvenient if it "threatens" the grip of those who hold
power - and we all know the old adage about how
power corrupts - and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Poland's tragedy lies in its geography - between the
rising Nazi menace and the huge brutal regime that was
Stalinist Russia. And we should remember that it was a
political alliance with Poland that sucked these islands
into the global war that saw so many perish or suffer
life-long, life-changing injuries. It's easy to be wise
with hindsight and even now, there are those who wring
their hands about our "failures" and our "obligations"
to Poland and its people. History may take a colder
more realistic view of how circumstance can play its
part far beyond the efforts of the well-intentioned to
affect any outcome. Truly, "War is all hell" (US Union
General W.T Sherman). Then - and now!
Comment is about KKK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Ray,
Even though `indisposed` I couldn`t
miss this one.
You open with the question no-one seems
to ask today, and your point about `we`...
`early critters` and `diddly sqat` Pose the
essential question; `If, as Aristotle says, a
human being is a rational animal, then where
did the rationality come from`? (your points
about `something big` and `we`re different`
implies the human monopoly of it by the
human race.
The guy imagines it came from some outside
(a refreshingly different picture than that one
about the bent old ape gradually straightening
up) And one that basically repeats the story
of Genesis.
The rest of his wonderings imagines what may
be a more (materially?)`genetic` interference
with some Eve or other and the monumental
cock-up that we since made of the precious
present of rationality (again sort of eerily kind
of fitting in with what happened afterwards in
Genesis)
That bit about going for a walk and not coming
back is both tragic and funny for us oldies who
are approaching the dementia stage. ?...or ?
The ending (given his previous connection to the
cutting edge space travel) is-humanly-very sad
indeed.
I realise that this is a very personal reading...but
poetry-essentially-is based upon Myth, And this
poem is asking some basic mythical questions.
On the form:
I have always been curious about
Flash fiction (which is mainly about story) and if
it could be combined with `free` in a new poetical
`form`. It seeems to me that - typographically -
free would get rid of of that prosaic `all-in-a-long
line denseness of Flash and make the whole look
more like a poem. (the final test is in the content).
I`d like to see someone develop this idea.
That Voice over is superb!
Thanks for giving me some brain exercise
Comment is about MOMENT OF TRUTH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
"..Abandon hope all ye who enter here" ;- ) Tommy
Comment is about Maxine (poet profile)
Original item by Maxine
Ta Raj on 'Sin'. Your comment is most welcome. Tommy
Comment is about Chakraj (poet profile)
Original item by Chakraj
You seem to mine value and truth in all your writing that I've seen Karen. I love the way you have struck off certain preconceptions as if to reduce illusions and reveal the reality within, and so imaginatively.
Ray
Comment is about Hero (blog)
Original item by Karen Ankers
Señor, A profound truth is spoken here which you have succinctly encapsulated. How many hear the death knell ring? Thank you. Keith
Comment is about shedding light where angels fear to tread (blog)
Original item by nunya
Loved your poem Nicola
and this is what I think - - -
Hammy for a Mammy in Law
that's o.k - - -
because the fish was off
- - - but don't tell a soul
Comment is about Nicola Hulme (poet profile)
Original item by Nicola Hulme
I love the balance between past and present. Thanks. Keith
Comment is about As time flew by (blog)
Original item by aparajita das
Fri 21st Apr 2017 13:35
Wow!! Look forward to some more.
Comment is about The last farewell this winter brought (blog)
Original item by LeGou
John, is that because they heard the gypsy (s)creams?
Just wondered....?
Paul
Comment is about Supermarket Space Invaders (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
When our kids were little they used to race up the aisle shouting "race you to the gypsy Aisle". It was a bit embarrassing.
Comment is about Supermarket Space Invaders (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Reminiscent of the old saying about going to Church.
The first time they threw water at me; the last it was confetti; the next time it'll be clay.
Comment is about Milestone (blog)
Original item by Andy Smyth
Thanks David,
I have had many experiences in supermarkets, both here and abroad, of standing looking at products on a shelf and sensing people itching to be where I'm standing and almost willing me to get out of the way. People from countries I won't name have practically pushed me out of the way! Oh, the injustice of it all ?... (climbing down from my soapbox now).
Paul
Comment is about Supermarket Space Invaders (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 21st Apr 2017 09:02
there is a sense of nobleness and self-sacrifice akin to Captain Oats walking out into the blizzard - your 'bewilderness' that seems to beckon both physically and spiritually. Initial first read impressions Ray. When I get some peace and quiet I will delve into your recorded rendition and see where that takes me. Like this one lots but then you probs guessed I might. Cheers, Col
Comment is about MOMENT OF TRUTH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Travis Brow
Fri 21st Apr 2017 06:27
Ray, 'the bewilderness' is a place that warrants exploration. I think you might have just added a new terrain to the lexicon. Ace.
Comment is about MOMENT OF TRUTH (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Travis Brow
Fri 21st Apr 2017 06:16
Hello Andrea, your humility is refreshing. I've been writing for thirty odd years and i'm still not sure i'm a poet yet. Still, the only way to achieve that aim is, as you suggest, to keep at it, and one day hopefully you will be.
Your rhetorical question in the Samples section above about 'a Pound of makeup on the face and not an ounce of happiness' is well put. Keep at it. Good luck.
Travis.
Comment is about Andrea_22 (poet profile)
Original item by Andrea_22
elPintor
Fri 21st Apr 2017 00:28
Unspeakably lovely..such a deep "mothering" instinct shown that really displays the best of human nature.
elP
Comment is about David (blog)
Original item by Karen Ankers
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 20th Apr 2017 22:28
you're just gonna have to put up that alternate poem now Tim ?
Comment is about The Happiest Place (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
Thanks for the comments Ray & Colin. It is indeed Betty's in the picture. My partner has worked there for the past 15 years, but she hasn't allowed me to go there in all that time so I don't know what it's like these days! Radio York requested me to write a poem about "why Harrogate is wonderful" so I happily obliged, but there is also a very different poem I could write about the town!
Comment is about The Happiest Place (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
Whoa, MC. I forgot about The Beastie Boys.
Comment is about NO MORE DOGGIN' (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Heavens above! I suggest this post for publication in a
book about the extraordinary vagaries of existence.
There are those who find it celestial
To indulge in behaviour bestial!
Comment is about NO MORE DOGGIN' (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Like this! A welcome example of how brevity works.
Tersely told - but nothing spared
Of How old Ned got Croix de Guerre'd
Comment is about Old Ned (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Touching and true in its intent and content.
Comment is about David (blog)
Original item by Karen Ankers
Hi Andy, many thanks for digging this one up (if you'll excuse the pun) and for the kind comment.
I don't have a particular affinity with trees but have become more interested in nature in general since I retired.
Thanks again,
Paul
Comment is about Felling Us (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Refreshingly heartwarming and straightforward. Not a beat out of place. It makes an old cynic like me melt Karen.
Ray
Comment is about David (blog)
Original item by Karen Ankers
Hello Jeffrey, Some good philosophical verse. Thanks. Keith
Comment is about Jeffrey McGehee (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffrey McGehee
This is so sweet, I particularly like the first verse.
Comment is about Hurricane (blog)
Original item by MyDystopiA
Arushi Gupta
Thu 20th Apr 2017 15:14
Brother, you just rocked it. Keep it up and keep writing more. We are waiting for your blogs❤
Comment is about Ocean And The Sky (blog)
Original item by shashank
raypool
Sat 22nd Apr 2017 22:46
By espousing the cause of being insignificant you have risen above it, Daniel; that in itself is clever - so well done for POTW.
Ray
Comment is about 'The Insignificant Poet' by Daniel Dwyran is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman