Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Profile image

Andy Smyth

Tue 25th Apr 2017 08:08

Karen, well done on POTW, nice but I'm sure that isn't why you wrote it.

I particularly like it because although it has a certain structure it doesn't rhyme. Most of my stuff is like that and I hesitate to put some in WOL 'cos I know poety can be a bit snobby (not WOL thank God), so I cary on anyway.

Loved the poem/verse/whatever (I never know what to call my stuff, it is like your "Unseen" kind of makes sense but rarely rhymes! Who cares ulimately). Enjoyed the poem 'cos it made sense, was touching, didn't rhyme but didn't need to. I've always thought I would be sneered at for my stuff 'cos most don't rhyme (some do) so I am cheered by the fact that "Unseen" can win POTW. My sort of verse, so well done. Can't imagine performing stuff though, turns my tummy over, so if you have, even more congrats...! Andy Smyth (non-rhyming poet)

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Tue 25th Apr 2017 07:34

I guessed as much M.K. I felt it was either a coach or a teacher. Nothing wrong with that. it's the human condition. Age and position should not separate us. Neither should they act as barriers to what we feel for each other.
You took the natural and bold step. Brilliant.
She who dares wins!

And please please don't suffer the guilt. You did what came naturally to you. Back to your poetry you have actually created a niche style with all the different colours. Keep going. I see a series shaping up. Between the rainbow of colours there's some wonderful expressions.

Raj xx

Comment is about am i selfish? (blog)

Original item by m.k.

Profile image

m.k.

Tue 25th Apr 2017 03:58

Raj, thank you for commenting again. It genuinely has made my day. In this, I'm apologetic because I feel like I'm burdening my teacher with crazy ramblings from a lonely suicidal teenage girl. I feel like he has better things to do, but I reached out anyway. And he has shown me time and time again that he loves me. I told him today, actually. I told him how much he means to me and I said I love you. And he said it back. I feel guilty and ashamed because he is a teacher, he can't be my parent and he can't take the roll in my life we both want him to.

I hope that clarifies some things
m.k. xx

Comment is about am i selfish? (blog)

Original item by m.k.

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 23:53

thanks all, really pleased you like this piece, i enjoyed writing it. no real religious phase graham although i can see why you'd ask. i have no faith myself, i envy those who do, but i do enjoy using the idea of belief in poetry.

bang on the money david, i felt fevered, almost rabid as i wrote this. how big is the gap between madness and joy?

Comment is about after reading the bible, naked and afraid (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 23:40

Thank you all so very much for your comments. I feel very encouraged because I've been putting a lot of thought into trying to develop this style of writing...more descriptive, so to speak. I'm pleased that so many of you commented on the imagery and, Stu, on the wordsmithery! David, thank you, you have the eyes of a literary agent, even I didn't realise that I'd written so much on a nocturnal theme ?

Thank you all once again,

Paul

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 23:30

Once again Stu, the raw power of your writing...so unique, so compelling.

Great stuff.

Paul

Comment is about after reading the bible, naked and afraid (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 23:19

I echo David and Colin's comments Karen and hear a mother's aching pain in this succinct but powerful poem.

Paul

Comment is about On Parade (blog)

Original item by Karen Ankers

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 23:13

Thanks Gary for the kind compliment.

Aythangyow too, Ray. I'm still laughing at your brilliant last line.

Paul

Comment is about Drop The Rope (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 24th Apr 2017 22:43

I see from your sample poem Syd that you like repetition but in my opinion it needs to be used with some caution. I'm not sure it quite works here but I do like that line very much and it's a great idea for a poem. An alternate structure might run like this:

Your chain hangs
from my rear-view mirror
Swinging, swaying
with every turn i take
Untouched, unwanted
unable to take it down
A reminder of how things used to be

Your chain hangs
from my rear-view mirror
Swinging, swaying
testing my patience and strength
Looked passed, ignored
you are never coming back
How long it has been since we talked

but hey, it's just a suggestion seen from a different writing perspective. It's the kind of poem that could be played around with. Hope you don't mind me saying. Thanks for posting. Colin

Comment is about Your Chain Hangs From My Rear-View Mirror (blog)

Original item by Syd Newland

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 24th Apr 2017 22:28

as a father I can only imagine being in this situation and I can only imagine thinking the way you have described - or maybe not thinking, just being and smiling and nodding and wishing there were no more reasons to become a soldier. Powerful yet restrained writing.
Colin

Comment is about On Parade (blog)

Original item by Karen Ankers

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 22:27

Hi Cynthia, thanks for your message, so glad you shared it! I think the Freud book you referred to was The Interpretation of Dreams. My God, even I've never felt brave enough to tackle that one. I enjoyed the psychodynamic psychology element of my training but Freud's books can be heavy going. Perhaps a Wiki page or two is enough to chew over.

And thank you so much for the lovely words about 'Sweet Victory for the Solemn'.

Always good to hear from you and a massive thanks for your continued encouragement.

Paul

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Emer Ni Chorra

Mon 24th Apr 2017 22:25

Hi Garry, welcome to Write Out Loud. Thank you for stopping by and commenting on my poems. ?

Comment is about Garry Rowlands (poet profile)

Original item by Garry Rowlands

Profile image

Andy N

Mon 24th Apr 2017 21:44

thanks Martin. Glad you like. hope your well. regards andy

Comment is about Ghost Story IV (Part XXII) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 18:20

Very sad. Very poignant. Well done.

Comment is about Your Chain Hangs From My Rear-View Mirror (blog)

Original item by Syd Newland

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 18:19

Very Powerful.

Comment is about On Parade (blog)

Original item by Karen Ankers

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 17:48

Beautifully done.

Comment is about Left Behind (blog)

Original item by Karen Ankers

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 24th Apr 2017 17:07

I forgot that you are a psychologist. I remember remarking to someone, perhaps here on line, but not sure anymore, that I had found an old beat-up copy of Freud's Dreams (whatever the actual title). I was thrilled. And I set to with great interest and intent to LEARN A LOT.

But I floundered after a while, after much acute attention and thinking. More than floundered, I became belligerent, followed by disgusted, and then I just pitched it. (I can't believe I did it, but I did. Still haunts me. I remember being actually angry.) Thing is - I don't know whether I wasn't smart enough to understand it; or smart enough to discard it.

I kind of wish I had another copy. To test myself again. My grand-daughter's studies in YR 12 certainly seem to have all positive assertions about Freud's Dream Ideas. No negativity allowed. This has been on my mind for years. I hope you don't mind my sharing it.

'A Sweet Victory for the Solemn' is mind-crashing.

Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

Karen Ankers

Mon 24th Apr 2017 17:01

Brutally brilliant.

Comment is about My pen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Profile image

Karen Ankers

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:59

Some lovely images.

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

Emer Ni Chorra

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:55

Beautiful.

Comment is about In Praise of Fallen Stars (blog)

Original item by J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang)

Profile image

Karen Ankers

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:47

Absolutely beautiful.

Comment is about after reading the bible, naked and afraid (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:46

Are you going through a religious period Stu?

Comment is about after reading the bible, naked and afraid (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:37

love this elP and the title is enough to warrant praise. a real sense of loneliness, insignificance.

Comment is about shedding light where angels fear to tread (blog)

Original item by nunya

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:35

john this is a wonderful, classic bit of writing. as far from my usual style as its possible to get, but the quality is enough to keep me rereading. you had me at red hair blowing free. super piece.

Comment is about The foggy, foggy dew (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:34

brilliant ending to this neil, takes the piece and amplifies the emotions, running off with sentiment and pushing home the feel of the whole poem. does that make sense? probably not, but im sticking with it.

Comment is about Under a Different Cloud (blog)

Original item by Neil Robertson

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:33

Much enjoyed, much, much.

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:31

love it cynthia, so powerful and such wise words.

Comment is about It (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:30

love this martin!

Comment is about My pen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:29

lovely ray, a fitting tribute and the spoken version is excellent.

Comment is about DESMOND HUGH ALOYSIUS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:28

this is just lovely, packed full of great lines (lillies unravelling, jealousy of cotton) and with a real lingering sense of love in its many disguises. great stuff!

Comment is about When We Were Seventeen (blog)

Original item by Cait Abbott

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:28

I had forgotten that point about Joyce; now I don't feel so alienated. But, to be honest, I think Plato made a lot of sense.

Comment is about The foggy, foggy dew (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

Profile image

Stu Buck

Mon 24th Apr 2017 16:27

lovely bit of gothic wordsmithery paul.

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

raypool

Mon 24th Apr 2017 14:53

A soft answer turneth away wrath Paul; but in truth it often just inflames the antagonist, especially if there is a deeper issue. In which case the rope can be handy in other ways....

Ray

Comment is about Drop The Rope (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Mon 24th Apr 2017 14:39

Beautiful Hazel. I especially liked the analogy.
Finally makes me ponder over the dichotomy of Penniless vs Timeless.

Thank you for sharing.
Raj

Comment is about Get a Life (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Profile image

Nicola Hulme

Mon 24th Apr 2017 13:07

Thanks Nigel, I'm glad you approve ?

Comment is about Nicola Hulme (poet profile)

Original item by Nicola Hulme

Profile image

Nicola Hulme

Mon 24th Apr 2017 13:05

No apologies needed Dorinda, I found Roger ?
Your brain still runs rings around mine xxx

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 11:08

Very funny.

Comment is about Rainbow on the tongue (blog)

Original item by Chunks and Marrow

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 11:04

Wonderful idea wonderfully written. Well done

Comment is about Get a Life (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Mon 24th Apr 2017 11:04

Like it Tommy. Crisp as a wafer.

A happy reminder of Inductive and deductive Logic tutorials.

Raj

Comment is about Logic (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 11:01

Very good. Particularly liked the opening lines

Comment is about On a Train (blog)

Original item by Andy Smyth

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Mon 24th Apr 2017 11:01

Wow, another palette of emotions. More colours, each with a special meaning.

You seem apologetic m.k. Why? You said what you had to say. You did what you had to do. You followed your instincts. It's cool.

Raj x

Comment is about am i selfish? (blog)

Original item by m.k.

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 10:59

Beautifully done . Like the idea

Comment is about Drop The Rope (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 10:58

Very good images. Some lovely phrases.

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

keith jeffries

Mon 24th Apr 2017 10:17

Paul, I read this not long having roused myself for another day. It was so appropriate. Beautifully crafted. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 24th Apr 2017 10:05

hello Karen, I have been so busy recently that I missed this the first time round and have only now found a quiet moment to enjoy. The second to last verse is a real tear-jerker and offers so much hope for humanity.

when my next quiet moment comes I will read your Q&A and catch up with your other postings as I noticed these too have attracted considerable comment. I'm swimming against the tide but determined to catch up!

all the best,
Colin

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 09:55

Congratulations Karen, so pleased for you, this excellent poem is a worthy winner of POTW.

Well done.

Paul

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Profile image

Paul Waring

Mon 24th Apr 2017 09:33

Thanks elP, thanks for the good point and the funny image that it conjures up!

Thanks too Suki, I'm well and thanks for asking, hope you are too. I always enjoy reading the extra dimensions of interpretation you add.

Paul

Comment is about Drop The Rope (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Profile image

Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 07:52

I really enjoyed "Left Behind".
Powerful and vivid.

Comment is about Karen Ankers (poet profile)

Original item by Karen Ankers

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Mon 24th Apr 2017 07:12

M.K -- true, certain colours do have a particular significance in our lives. They tend to stimulate our senses, evoking memories and triggering off experiences.

I would use the 'critique' instead of criticized. That's what this family is about. Keep on writing!!

Raj

Comment is about will blue turn into purple? (blog)

Original item by m.k.

Profile image

Raj Ferds

Mon 24th Apr 2017 07:07

M. K. thank you for your flattering comments.
WOL is a wonderful community and if I write anything that touches lives I am delighted.

Spiritual interaction with other members here is very important to me.

Raj xx

Comment is about Meet Fear, my new friend. (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

More Comments

◄ Prev123 … 299 … 598 … 897 … 1196 … 1495 … 15581559156015611562 … 1794 … 2093 … 2392 … 2691 … 298629872988Next ►

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message