True experiences like yours have great impact in verse and when so well crafted really go to the heart of a devastating liberty taken and survived with consequences far reaching. Thanks for sharing. Brilliant writing David.

Ray

Comment is about Hitting the Wrong Note (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

Hello Kenneth, I have just finished reading all the verse which you have submitted to your blog. Your passion, yearning and the problems of unrequited love are beautifully and eloquently spoken. Your ability to compose verse is quite apparent. May I suggest you consider other ideas for future work as I believe you possess real potential. Thank you. I have enjoyed reading your work. Keith

Comment is about Kenneth James Keller (poet profile)

Original item by Kenneth James Keller

A deeply moving piece David.

Paul

Comment is about Hitting the Wrong Note (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

thanks Stu. glad you like it. Worth watching the film - the Dylan Thomas bit defo makes sense within the context of the film too.

Comment is about 6 x Short Poems wrote while watching the film 'The Sense of an ending') (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Beautiful.

Comment is about Hitting the Wrong Note (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

phew! close call Andy! Thanks for the laugh! Jemima.

Comment is about My basement empire (blog)

Original item by Andy Smyth

Perhaps you just need to redefine your idea of faith, Stu. I find this work 'full of faith', bursting! How long has it been since last you were 'reading the Bible aloud'? Especially with a friend? A chill ran up my spine at 'the culling of the fold', an expression I find totally alienating. I think that idea alone is a huge insight into this work. Maybe unintentional.

'Pale and inexcusable in the moonlight' is one of the BEST lines of poetry I've ever read, especially applied to 'my gut my cock my balls'. Lines like that make poets famous!

Comment is about after reading the bible, naked and afraid (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Hi Raj.

Cor, when I think about all the old wives tales I was told, it makes me wonder how daft my family thought I was (don't answer that!). No wonder I was good at Maths, I spent so much time thinking "eh, that doesn't add up" ??

Cheers Raj, thanks for commenting.

Paul

Comment is about Fibs And Secrets (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Clever Raj, very clever.

Howay the Lads. Good to see them back in the Prem.

Paul

Comment is about The sun on the Tyne is all mine, oh mine (A Premier tribute to Geordieland!) (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

I like this Ray, I like it an effin lot, like Robbie Fowler's dog these geezers are Wellard, well, sort of ?

Aythangyow. Paul

Comment is about AT THE WATERING HOLE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

agreed, 3 is excellent!

Comment is about 6 x Short Poems wrote while watching the film 'The Sense of an ending') (blog)

Original item by Andy N

thanks Linda. All of the poems were reactions really to what i saw in the film. wasn't a perfect film but Jim Broadbent is a great actor (:

Comment is about 6 x Short Poems wrote while watching the film 'The Sense of an ending') (blog)

Original item by Andy N

David, Thank you for this poem which is an example of revisiting the past in order to see what could have been as opposed to that which did not. This is where poetry takes to the floor which other artistic genres cannot adequately achieve. A memory which has remained with you, pondered and brought back to life. Well crafted. Thank you again. Keith

Comment is about Hitting the Wrong Note (blog)

Original item by David Redfield

Nice one Paul.

Old wives tales are like heirlooms aren't they??

Raj

Comment is about Fibs And Secrets (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Congratulations on POTW .
I really enjoyed this piece. As I read it i could really picture the scene. Should poetry rhyme? That's a matter of opinion, but as long as they're as good as this who cares.

Cheers Kevin

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Love the tramlines structure Larisa.
And the mysterious Olga?

Like to see some more.
Raj

Comment is about Rzhepiks (something funny) (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Hey to the both of you, Suki and Stu,

It's a little off subject, but I'm very glad to have people read what I write these days. I truly never thought that I would become this comfortable posting it. And, it doesn't hurt that, much of the time, people get out of it just exactly the meaning I put into it.

Suki, you make a great point--the business of money-making seems to be the precise reason for perpetual war. While the media plays on our emotions to make the issues at hand seem much in black-and-white to the public perception, I've no doubt that quite sinister forces are being actively veiled. The interplay between entities (media, government, corporate) for control over how we think and what we do is very effective in making the greater percentage of us to work as cogs in an engineered machine. You've only to look at what happens to those who dissent to know that to be a truth. Hell, you don't even need to dissent--you only need to call it for what it is to be paid a visit by the character assassins.

Anyhow, before someone calls me "crazy" (again), thanks to the both of you for commenting and the opportunity for discussion--I find it very stimulating.

elP

Comment is about shedding light where angels fear to tread (blog)

Original item by nunya

Although this seems almost like thoughts out of control, I feel a technique running through it which speak of a desire to express at any cost (to the mind). The parallel I feel would be a finding of a soul and its wonderful resonance in a chaos of the undefined. Therefore great poetry!

Nice that your posting

Ray

Comment is about after reading the bible, naked and afraid (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Ok, if you really want some feedback...It's a good start! Love the alliteration in the first line. Nice punchy start to the poem. Not sure if you need the "Oh"... Maybe you could explore the idea of being "attached" to words a bit more, since this seems to be the basis of the poem. Maybe write "attachment" in the middle of a page and then see what words you can find that flow from it. You've already got "Clutching". Maybe have some physical "attachment", hands, heart, throat....maybe the attachment to words stopping breath...Please ignore this is if it's of no help. But you have the start of a really interesting piece here.

Comment is about Can Some One Please Help (blog)

Original item by Sinead Wright

Thanks Stu. I don't always like my poems, thus the revisions, but I do like 'The foggy, foggy dew'. Much appreciated comment Stu - thanks again, John

Comment is about The foggy, foggy dew (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

Everything I have seen of your work has distilled beauty of expression and this is another example - it can't fail to persuade the reader in its message.

Ray

Comment is about On Parade (blog)

Original item by Karen Ankers

Has the most wonderful rhythm and uplifting ending like a story. Well done x

Comment is about Love is...... (blog)

Original item by Genevieve

This made my heart break a little bit, then fixed, and then broke again. Such beautiful words, Cait x

Comment is about Makayla (poet profile)

Original item by Makayla

Makayla, This is unusual but I am drawn to its brevity and honesty and style. Write more. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about Makayla (poet profile)

Original item by Makayla

expose yourself to me .
lie naked unafraid.
your mind and heart
not your body
that is a womanly gift for
someone else.

lie with me awhile
and I will show you
my ugliness too.

and we will not
judge, we will not
be afraid.

it is just
good to find
another like
ourselves
and smile.

Comment is about Exposed (blog)

Original item by Hannah Orosco

As a gay man I can readily relate to your words of anguish. Keep writing. I would like to read more. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about Why I Do Not Want to Hear That You Love Me (blog)

Original item by A Brady

there is no ugliness here only growth.

Comment is about Exposed (blog)

Original item by Hannah Orosco

Martin, thank you for commenting on my poem Daggers Drawn. Thanks much. Keith

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

sorry you didn't have time for your own lunch Greg - and/but a great occasion much enjoyed by my guest who is new to spoken word events, and myself. Thank you for organising, a treat of a Saturday lunchtime.

Comment is about No time for lunch at festival's three-hour banquet of poetry (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

This has a nice rhythm to it Keith. I particularly love the word fusillade
marvellous

Comment is about A Dagger drawn (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Thanks Keith, David, elp, suki, Stu and Karen. Your comments and reading are much appreciated. This was one of those poems that I completed and posted within about twenty four hours. A part of the inspiration came from the film 'A knights tale where Geoffrey Chaucer played by Paul Betany speaks in a similar fashion to his creditors.
But also you are right David about simple truth coming through and also elp the feeling of battle and finally laying to rest all that has been fought for.
Thanks once again to everybody who read.
Martin

Comment is about My pen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Raj
re "Inductive and deductive Logic tutorials." aaaaaaaaagh! (runs out of the room) ?

Comment is about Chakraj (poet profile)

Original item by Chakraj

This poem is well thought out and constructed and communicates ideas and emotions effectively in a direct way with no complexity. I particularly liked the line: "time and rain washed his colour away" and also "you say you don't remember" because I can relate to this odd phenomenon where something someone said or did made an impact on us and is lodged in our memory but they can't remember it at all. Everyone's take on reality is different according to our individual perceptions. Only criticism in my opinion is that naming the pink dog might be one detail too many.

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

You're right about the cafe being a really good space for poetry, Ray, aided by the Lightbox's good sound equipment. Glad you managed to get fed and watered, and that Mrs P had a good time. To be fair, I think the cafe did good business, despite the lack of breaks.

Comment is about No time for lunch at festival's three-hour banquet of poetry (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Beautiful. Words that carry pain.

Comment is about Why I Do Not Want to Hear That You Love Me (blog)

Original item by A Brady

Love it!

Comment is about Logic (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I really like (III).

All of these have your voice coming through loud and clear.

Comment is about 6 x Short Poems wrote while watching the film 'The Sense of an ending') (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for your comments, everyone.

Comment is about On Censorship (blog)

Original item by Linda Cosgriff

Thanks C?L

This 4-month old WoL baby is very contented because of all the nurturing he has received from you and everyone else on here ?

If only I didn't sleep so much.......

Paul

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thank you for commenting.
Colin: I have also thought many times about going into the woods, sitting with my back to a lovely old oak, with a bottle of single malt and singing myself into oblivion. The idea of wolves making a meal of my carcass is preferable to the idea of being in the hands of undertakers and suffering whatever it is theydo with embalming fluid.

Comment is about Get a Life (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

I would like to add to this excellent review that although there were no official breaks, the airy and spacious room did not feel in any way constricting, and I think that made for a sense of ease and involvement; plus the fact that there was a complete lack of formality which is always pleasant . My wife in particular is not partial to extended periods of concentration though she found the whole afternoon a revelation. Success! Incidentally, the food and drink were really good Greg. (I was one who munched and lunched on the premises).

Comment is about No time for lunch at festival's three-hour banquet of poetry (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thank you all for your kind words and helpful feedback ? I thought of the title before actually writing the poem. Thank God I managed to actually find some words to accompany it! I also took on board your suggestion Colin as I feel it does really add to the feeling and sentiment behind the poem.

Comment is about Under a Different Cloud (blog)

Original item by Neil Robertson

I'm coming to this a little late and was interested to read your comment Paul. It's always good to see writers exploring and developing new styles of writing which for me anyway is how I learn and improve. I shall be watching your progress with interest young man ?

Comment is about On Nights (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I've always had the urge, when the time comes and if there is enough energy left to propel myself, to wander out into the wilderness and lay down to die under the stars. But the thought of being in a half dead state and being found by a pack of hungry wolves has always put me off. And the probable sheer impracticality of such an end of life expedition. So best I think to adopt your method ? Well written Hazel.
Col.

Comment is about Get a Life (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

thanks Andy for taking the time to read and leave a comment on 'Hello You' - glad you enjoyed and much appreciated. I tried to do a follow up recently called 'Imagine please that I am blind'. Here's the link if you missed it. Good to see you posting again on WoL. Cheers, Col.

https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=66176

Comment is about Andy Smyth (poet profile)

Original item by Andy Smyth

err, there's something not right about this page Keith as it appears as if I have posted it. There is no Like button but an Edit button instead. I think I have found a WoL glitch !! Anyone else getting the same here? Same on your previous entry but beyond that it reverts to normal. Have alerted the moderator. Col.

Comment is about Darkness (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

you've captured this really well Keith - I particularly like that ill at ease door. I also like to find word patterns within lines whether intentional or not - like the double l's in 'ill' and 'collide' although you have inadvertently used three in 'colllide'. Good stuff. Col.

Comment is about Darkness (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Thank you!!

Comment is about When We Were Seventeen (blog)

Original item by Cait Abbott

Karen, well done on POTW, nice but I'm sure that isn't why you wrote it.

I particularly like it because although it has a certain structure it doesn't rhyme. Most of my stuff is like that and I hesitate to put some in WOL 'cos I know poety can be a bit snobby (not WOL thank God), so I cary on anyway.

Loved the poem/verse/whatever (I never know what to call my stuff, it is like your "Unseen" kind of makes sense but rarely rhymes! Who cares ulimately). Enjoyed the poem 'cos it made sense, was touching, didn't rhyme but didn't need to. I've always thought I would be sneered at for my stuff 'cos most don't rhyme (some do) so I am cheered by the fact that "Unseen" can win POTW. My sort of verse, so well done. Can't imagine performing stuff though, turns my tummy over, so if you have, even more congrats...! Andy Smyth (non-rhyming poet)

Comment is about 'Unseen' by Karen Ankers is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I guessed as much M.K. I felt it was either a coach or a teacher. Nothing wrong with that. it's the human condition. Age and position should not separate us. Neither should they act as barriers to what we feel for each other.
You took the natural and bold step. Brilliant.
She who dares wins!

And please please don't suffer the guilt. You did what came naturally to you. Back to your poetry you have actually created a niche style with all the different colours. Keep going. I see a series shaping up. Between the rainbow of colours there's some wonderful expressions.

Raj xx

Comment is about am i selfish? (blog)

Original item by m.k.