Sharlie,
Unusual take on a kind of criticism causing decay...causing mulch...causing... (those last three lines)
...some sort of a sprouted revenging irony.

Somehow (to me) `beauty` doesn`t belong in it.

Comment is about I'm Dead Inside (blog)

Original item by Sharlie

Like that: `March to our own drums`

Comment is about digital effrontery (blog)

Original item by Wimpole Street Devils

I like the delicacy of this Ian. (particularly stanza three)

Comment is about Menage A Trois (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Ken,
Will you stop it!

In the last fortnight I`ve been to see three of my (old)
friends...who have all fallen and broken something!

and she`s takin`me out dancin` (well...shufflin`) tonight in the Legion!

You`re just what I needed. :)

Keep right on till the end of the road eh?

Hope you`re keeping well.

John,
Nice, funny self put down.

(the picture reminds me of the audience at some of my recent gigs)

Comment is about 20 YEARS FROM NOW (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

please excuse us Preeti,but felt compelled to point out that repetition is the basis for MANY poetic forms.The use of repetition can HEIGHTEN the emotional impact of a piece.Repetition of a sound,syllable,word,line,stanza or metrical pattern,is a basic unifying device in.....

all poetry!

thanks Preeti if you choose to keep the changes we suggested and no problems whatsoever if you prefer kenneths instead.xx

Comment is about Blow Me (blog)

In a future twenty years,
as each day follows night
you'll be well in cuckoo land
unable to give a shite

like it remarkably funny. Perfect rhyme

Comment is about 20 YEARS FROM NOW (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Excellent poem Preeti

In your eagerness to blogg, agreeing with Stephan and patricia, when editing you fail to notice the repetition of faded, and what could have been for example "sitting jaded on the threadbare couch"

I've made this mistake many times. But I'm learning.

Keep 'em coming.

ken

Comment is about Blow Me (blog)

Thank you ! Will change it for sure !

Comment is about Blow Me (blog)

we love this Preeti.What do you think about-'YOU SIT FADED on the faded couch' ?
&
'teeth GRINDING? xx

Comment is about Blow Me (blog)

Noris,another lovely piece that proves you really are the Queen of romantic poetry!xx

Comment is about Following your steps... (blog)

Original item by Noris Roberts

no apology required big guy-words are free after all.But had that poem been published,we might have had to arrange a rendezvous in court! haha! muchly liking your line useage of,as much as you liked our Silver sister titled poem.xx

Comment is about Menage A Trois (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Lovely penultimate verse, Ian.

Comment is about Menage A Trois (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Hi Aly, thanks for taking the time to read and leaving a comment on I was young. I really appreciate it. I'll see what I can do about it.

Comment is about Aly Hatcher (poet profile)

Original item by Aly Hatcher

that is more than spooky guys - given that I laboured over a moon description and had about five other twists on those words. Hadn't read your 2012 effort as it was before my WOL entity - but just had a look and really like 'Silver Sister' - very evocative. I would apologise for my usage had it been deliberate - but as it wasn't - I will claim it as 'white magik' ;-)

Comment is about Menage A Trois (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

'silver sister' same description as the title of our poem-25th May 2012-spooky eh?

Comment is about Menage A Trois (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Thanks very much. I wonder if one day there will be a scientific explanation for having things? Like...stone henge will be there when we are all gone, but so will some blue tack and a hair grip, two pence and a button, in a bowl, on a window sil.

Comment is about Vase (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

Hello Natalie, I'm always reluctant to suggest changes. I don't want to ever appear didactic. That said, I reckon your poem's stronger now. Incidentally, you left a comment on my page last December - ''Take it and scooter?!'' What does it mean? Or am I missing something obvious?
Keep it coming.

Comment is about I Am God (blog)

Thank you Charlie, most kind.

Comment is about WALK LIKE A MAN. (blog)

Nat,
for some reason by original comment did not register

This is a nice , rhythmic, `essence of cool`

The talent of it justifies the brag.

Do some more.

Comment is about Queen Me (blog)

left us speechless! and very very jealous! xx

Comment is about Trombone Voluntary (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

was just a five minute 'something to do' instead of scratching ones gonads-ooer Mrs Casserley! (lol)

Comment is about shapes (blog)

if all my fingers were thumbs,I would raise all ten to this piece.

Comment is about I'm Dead Inside (blog)

Original item by Sharlie

beyond impressive.Outreaching brilliance.Very much loved the rhythm.

Extremely colourful piece.More asap jeremy!

Comment is about Trombone Voluntary (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

Damn, you captured the emotion and conveyed it perfectly. Brilliant piece of work!

Comment is about WALK LIKE A MAN. (blog)

Wicked concept, loved the it flowed like the passing of time. I'm vastly admirable to this piece.

Comment is about Sandstorm (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

im glad you think so Pat and Stef , thanks for the comment

Comment is about Nothing to say .... (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

thank you Rose , glad it struck a cord

Comment is about Nothing to say .... (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

thank you for your insightful and thoughtful comment M.C. Newberry, well said

Comment is about Nothing to say .... (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Aly, welcome to Write Out Loud, and I hope you find something of what you're looking for here. We're a poetry site specifically, although you're very welcome to post prose here as well. While I can't offer to critique your work as a whole, I can maybe pass across some advice. This is what I think is important:

1) Read as many other writers as you can. When you like something they do, reflect on it, and try to work out how they did it.
2) Avoid writing about abstract concepts too much. Concentrate on describing particular objects and incidents, and maybe by doing so, they will reveal greater truths.

But if what is most important to you at this time, is simply to express your feelings, then go on doing that. Don't worry about whether it's great literature. The main question is, do you feel better after writing it? Maybe that's the most important thing for you at this time. Hope this is of some help. Greg

Comment is about Aly Hatcher (poet profile)

Original item by Aly Hatcher

Black Shadow

Looking at the shadow
as I turn around
nothing can be seen.

The past has returned
it casts a blackness
over a distant memory.

Where a spirit light
shows a baby infant
David Leslie was unborn.

Comment is about shadow (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Individually, we all contribute to society - or not.
Each generation contains its heroes, villains, survivors
and, sadly, victims. Materially, we have never been so
advanced yet our reality has become distorted in a modern
mirror of unreality - reflected in the blase brutality and
coarse conduct to be found daily on our cinema, TV and PC screens. Immature minds embrace these images and utterances as normal and acceptable - and more victims
pay the price in the real world which sees the breakdown
of the family unit and its collective example of protection of, and consideration for, the most vulnerable.

Comment is about Nothing to say .... (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Interesting and timely. There is the reality that need
creates a condition of giving which encourages a
condition of need. And who exactly is the neediest - and
to what purpose? The conundrum has no answer and
can actually have a detrimental effect on those most willing to give - entreated at every turn in this modern
world by the outstretched hand, singular and corporate.
In consequence, the willing spirit becomes prey to a
undeserved feeling of cruelty by NOT giving for whatever reason.

Comment is about Soft Money (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Would you mind giving me some feedback on the writing material I have posted? I am of little experience and I wish to have a professional's opinion.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

As being a younger site user I see very mature writing material here. It has kinks, however those can be all worked out. This piece in particular is very powerful. In fact as a music artist myself I see potential for maybe even a piece of contemporary music. A few alterations of the words, maybe put it into more relatable context for the public and you might have yourself a real piece of art!


- Ally Aly.

Comment is about I was Young (blog)

Original item by Clive

and I agree-wholeheartedly.x

Comment is about Nothing to say .... (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

haha! love the ending!x

Comment is about shapes (blog)

well written Wendy.xx

Comment is about Somethings Wrong (blog)

Original item by Wendy Higson

powerful stuff David.xx

Comment is about Nothing to say .... (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Hi Nat, I agree with this one, nicely put xx

Comment is about I Am God (blog)

I like this Natalie; pantheism is as close as i'll ever get to religious faith. I'm assuming this is what you're alluding to. I particularly like the third verse. One thing though; if you dropped the 'and' from the fourth line, and used appropriate punctuation after the preceding word 'science', it would scan better. Cracking title as well.

Comment is about I Am God (blog)

Thank you Natalie.

Comment is about WE RUB ALONG. (blog)

Hi Jeremy, I love this! Can see you with your sandwiches & crisps, and can so relate to wanting to touch the statue - I'm always the one getting hissed at in galleries & stuff not to touch. Thanks for sharing it :)

Comment is about Trombone Voluntary (blog)

Original item by jeremy young

I really like this.

Perfect example of the art of the ordinary.

The direction and movement of the camera is very good.

Comment is about Vase (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

I confess to being somewhat in the dark about this.
Having checked online, I've found the "Disability
Discrimination Act 1995", the "Human Rights Act 1998/2000"
and the "Equality And Human Rights Commission Equality
Act 2010" - but would appreciate knowing what is being
intended by U.K. politicians as set out in these lines, since
it appears that the concerns of the disabled appear well
catered for in law.
"Disabled" covers a multitude of conditions affecting human
ability and needs a comprehensive interpretation to ensure
the most just administration of the law. What are
our politicians up to - and to what purpose - that has encouraged the above clearly indignant post?
As for "British": I resent being sent official documents
that list definitions that usually omit "English"...the
description which - these days - apparently dares not speak its name (an apologetic nod to Oscar Wilde!)
for reasons we are never told but can probably guess
with some accuracy.

Comment is about Violation (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

You can find the winners here http://www.poetrybusiness.co.uk/news/143/490/The-winners-of-the-2014-15-Book-Pamphlet-Competition

Comment is about Billy Collins to judge Poetry Business book and pamphlet competition (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

The last line

Three two one and the bullets are all gone strikes a cold dark vision as the collage poem too has all gone but leaves with us a stunning collection of poetry to recap a night that mixed this along with other poems of a somewhat happy nature.

Comment is about Exile - March Collage Poem (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

''...nor ever birth another why.'' Lovely line; good luck, though.

Comment is about Enough. (blog)

Thanks for reading Jackie and the Wildes.
I do plenty of dreaming jackie, mostly day dreaming!
Steve

Comment is about I'd Dream About Love ,If I Could. (blog)

Original item by Steve Higgins

The feeling of this is much like the one I posted today. Good writing here. Thank you for sharing this.

Comment is about Laceration of Souls (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Yet another gem 'Queen' Natalie...;o)..x

Comment is about Enough. (blog)