This is really good, Laura, a fine example of haiku. The whole series develops a theme, but each 'stanza' could stand alone, is wholly sufficient on to itself. I look forward to meeting you in Sale next Tuesday.

Comment is about Ring of Roses (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

thanks for your insightful comment on my poem gus , missing your hugs right now x x

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

thanks for commenting on my poem dave :)

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Sigh... there you go again. Saying what needs to be said with such economy and poise. The more you do it (like peeling away the layers of an onion), the more I understand you. The more I understand you, the more I respect you. You are the essence of what poetry should be...

Comment is about Daddys girl (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

You brought this to life at Cadence. Whenever I hear you speak your poems, you always do.

Comment is about Leaving Belfast (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for your note on Ring of Roses, Andy - appreciate it

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for your note on Ring of Roses Cate :) I actually love dead flowers, heh.

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Oh Kath - this is heartbreaking, in its message and its childlike simplicity. I feel like sometimes I am watching you strip your skin raw with these pieces.

Comment is about Daddys girl (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

it's a interesting one, alison must admit following on from the comments. i like the structure behind it certainly even thou it is a bit preachy for me in places, but certainly there is scope for edits to make it even better.

look forward to seeing what you do next with it certo. x

Comment is about Optimism (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

very sharp stuff, Laura.. lot of detail in a few words here.. impressive x

Comment is about Ring of Roses (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Charlotte, welcome to Write out loud. Winston

Comment is about Charlotte Peters Rock (poet profile)

Original item by Charlotte Peters Rock

Hi Laura, what an interesting piece! Yes it is tagged haiku, Dave must have just missed it.
Floral deviance and beauty in decay wouldnt be my idea of a bunch of flowers, but after seeing the winning garden of the Chelsea flower show which looked just like the field across the road from me, who knows?
I like the spareness here which makes every word count. Clever title too!
Cate xx

Comment is about Ring of Roses (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

A vivid and powerful piece of writing. Very touching.
Cate xx

Comment is about The Care Pathway For The Dying Phase (blog)

Crumbs - you don't get much sadder than this - my idea of living hell brought to life so hideously by your poem. It brought back horrid memories for me too...

The positive and chirpy nature of the medical staff often seem so incongruous when you know just what is going down. I suppose they have to develop that protective shell though, or they wouldn't be able to do the job.

I would agree with Andy N on that line 'colouring in the silence' is a great metaphor.

Glug - something for us all to look forward to.

Comment is about The Care Pathway For The Dying Phase (blog)

'Or even offer food for thought' - I'm not sure I'd agree with that Alison - your poem seems to have stirred feelings up in its readers.

You are right to say that poetry can't change anything - it's hard enough for individuals to do that. It does enable like minded people to connect though - which in some circumstances can be pretty marvellous.

I would agree with Julian's comments. The poem is so strong and could be even stronger just by a bit of trimming. I really enjoyed reading this. x

Comment is about Optimism (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

This poem has the potential to be a powerful classic, along the lines of, as Laura says, The Revolution will not be televised. It puts me mind, too, of Adrian Mitchell's poem whose title I forget but is more generally known by its repeating line, "tell me lies about Vietnam".
I - cheekily, I know, as it's your poem - would think about removing anything adverbial from it (e.g. 'even', 'just') and any forced rhymes (cease/decrease) as these IMHO reduce its power. Inspiring, Alison, truly. Don't leave it like this.

Comment is about Optimism (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

It really does work on the page, and I wasn't sure it would you know. Fantastic! Really looking forward to reading and hearing more of your work.

Comment is about Jess Green (poet profile)

Original item by Jess Green

Japanese? Interesting! Cheers Dave.

Err, it already IS tagged as a haiku. Is it not showing or something?

Comment is about Ring of Roses (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Eeeek, can't even blame predictive text for that. I shall edit.

Comment is about Optimism (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

Yeh, I like what it's saying too - had a feeling of The Revolution Will Not Be Televised about it, in the rhythm.

Comment is about Optimism (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

Any poem about a physical object which makes one really SEE and FEEL it is working well, and this does - vividly. But it's not just about the object, it's about the passing of time. It almost feels Japanese in the way that it expresses this.

Will you be tagging it as a haiku?

Comment is about Ring of Roses (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I really love what this poem is saying, Alison and like the way it's being said too.

Is omissions a typo? (sorry)

Comment is about Optimism (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

CC is one of my favourite books. See the cat? See the cradle? Brilliant.

Love this Dave - I have actually tried this, just to see what it felt like. It's really bloody awkward to get in position :D

Comment is about boko-maru haiku (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Heartbreaking, and really well written. Good one Ray

Comment is about The Care Pathway For The Dying Phase (blog)

love it, kath.. another excellent piece.

one little thing perhaps on the last line you may want to add an even 'sometimes i don't even get to choose' as i am wondering whether it needs the extra word.

otherwise, keep em coming x

Comment is about No title (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

love it, kath.. another excellent piece.

one little thing perhaps on the last line you may want to add an even 'sometimes i don't even get to choose' as i am wondering whether it needs the extra word.

otherwise, keep em coming x

Comment is about No title (blog)

Original item by Kath Hewitt

nice stuff, dave... see you soon - a

Comment is about boko-maru haiku (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

good piece, Ray - particularly like 'colouring in the silence'... A

Comment is about The Care Pathway For The Dying Phase (blog)

Indeed, I would love to see this piece performed. Must admit I found it a bit hard to get past the lines on 'loo seat' and 'milestone.' I will read that aloud again and change my pace and see if that makes any difference. I learned a new thing as well - that Dettol and Dettox is one and the same thing!

Comment is about Dear Mr Dettol. Fact. (blog)

Hi Ann so glad you found the John Donne poem informative and to your liking - I happened to be passing an old haunt of his near Pyrford in Surrey today when walking with my daughter by the canal hence the inspiration

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thank you Ann for taking the time to read my blogs, and for your comment. It really is much appreciated! :)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

thanks for the comment, katy lisa.. glad you liked it.. x

Comment is about Spring is here (blog)

Original item by Andy N

thanks for the comment, katy lisa.. is a bit of a odd piece this one, must admit and i agree with you - it's certainly a spooky one x

Comment is about Lost Shadows (blog)

Original item by Andy N

thanks katy lisa - glad you liked it - you know already my answer to your comment here - lol x

Comment is about Escape (blog)

Original item by Andy N

thanks for the comment, katy lisa here.. i totally agree with you over this piece and am glad you enjoyed it xx

Comment is about Summer is Here (blog)

Original item by Andy N

thanks ann for your comment on leaving belfast, ann. belfast is a place i certainly won't forget, i must admit and am glad you enjoyed this piece.. x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

thanks katy lisa and ann for your comments.. belfast is a place i certainly won't forget, i must admit and am glad you enjoyed this piece.. x

Comment is about Leaving Belfast (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Cate - Many thanks for taking the time to comment (mackerel sky). B

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Ann - Many thanks for taking the time to comment (mackerel sky). B

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Dave - Many thanks for taking the time to comment (mackerel sky). B

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

There is some arresting imagery in this Emma, and phrases which linger in the mind like"cats cradling her thoughts."
As to the direction it should go since each stanza is about a different character maybe a final summing up of the whole idea of loneliness and silence would work?
Cate xx

Comment is about SOFT FOCUSED SILENCE (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

Hi Val thank you for comenting on my John Donne poem - having studied the man in some depth I found his age a fascinating one even though I wouldn't want to have lived then - did a walk with my daughter today along a Surrey canal near Pyrford where there was a plaque commemorating his place of residence in the 1600s hence my motivation to write about him

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

I really liked this Dave, a change from your performance humorous ones but effective in a simple way.
Cate xx

Comment is about Every cloud (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

Magnificent Ray: observant, humane, essential, spare.

Comment is about The Care Pathway For The Dying Phase (blog)

Clever and very sweet. Not sure it would do it for me though!
Cate xx

Comment is about boko-maru haiku (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Emma thanks for your comment on Naughty Digits... glad you enjoyed it!
Cate xx

Comment is about Emma McCourty (poet profile)

Original item by Emma McCourty

Hi Laura thanks for the comment on Naughty Digits, and for the editing... much appreciated!!
Cate xx

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Dave thanks for the comment on Naughty digits.... I do believe he did!!
Cate xx

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

Hi Dave, thanks for the comment.... not sure about the performance bit!!!!!
Cate xx

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Tom, Can you send me details of Bob's upcoming gigs please, H x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor