The last stanza runs into classical prose - perhaps thats why people are agitated by it a little? It has that sense of classicisim to it - romanticism, if you will, which seems out of place with the more modern 'bottle caps' and 'recycle' as well as 'blips'.

In fact, I especially liked 'blips' - when I read it first, I thought it was odd that it was there, but now, i kind of like it being there. Its like a tip of the hat to the modern age.

Comment is about Orange Peel and Apple Pips (June 2008) (blog)

Original item by Heather

It made me think of that greek story, where people turn into trees? I think it was Ovid... But the line 'gnarled fingers' really brought it to life for me. I found this avery thoughtful piece - reflective, and a glimpse of a moment.

Comment is about Grandma at the Window (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello Heather, I'm another that appreciates the structure used - stanzas 1 & 2 are both neat and effective in generating imagery, but that does tail off in 3, which with your skills can I'm sure be made to sustain the quality preceding. Best wishes, Dave

Comment is about Orange Peel and Apple Pips (June 2008) (blog)

Original item by Heather

I like poems such as this that maintain a classical rhythm throughout. I loved most of the language, the first verse is terrific. I was less keen on Beauty and Rose and "seldom summer prose" sounds a bit rhyme-forced.

Comment is about Orange Peel and Apple Pips (June 2008) (blog)

Original item by Heather

Hello. Andrew Motion was Poet Laureate before Carol Ann Duffy. Rubbish, though!
As for "my thoughts are less angrier" if you say angrier as if it rhymed with sangria that stretches the metre a bit. But it's just a long joke really! Ta for your comments.

Comment is about Heather (poet profile)

Original item by Heather

Hi - (sleepers) I've got to admit - there's nothing like a good night's kip -"la petit morte" as francine would doubtless?? say. I like the clip as he says that heaven lies (not in the big expensive things in life), but the things that are hardly anything at all - a song, a kiss, a party etc. x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Greg The problem is he's booked well in advance. My plan is to bring it out early next year and that was the earliest he could fit me in. You think getting a book out is the big obstacle, but then it's very hard finding opportunities to promote it. I'll keep you informed. Be great to meet up at the Poet's Cafe. If you read something they knock a quid off the ticket!

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Glad to hear your book is coming out early next year, David, but aren't you being a bit leisurely about 'launching' it in June?! Put me down for a copy, whenever it comes out. I might even pitch up at the Poetry Cafe in Reading one night, you never know!

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Comment is about Advice to men poets (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hello Heather - welcome to the gang :)
Thanks for your kind remarks about 'Those Days' - glad you enjoyed it.
Best wishes, Dave

Comment is about Heather (poet profile)

Original item by Heather

You have a very powerful voice and the simplicity of these words is beautiful. I felt that the repetition worked well and it flowed very nicely. Thanks for the read.

Comment is about Those Days... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

I'm horribly oblivious to many things and don't know the man in question but I love the humour and rhythm of this, the words really tumble over each other, building up right until the end. I feel that the line 'My thoughts are less angrier;' is missing a syllable or two.

Comment is about Motion Doesn't Matter! (blog)

An intriguing few lines of verse, I'd love to see more clarity and imagery added to this. A very inviting tone you've got here.

Comment is about Advice to men poets (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I rather liked this and the choice of picture is excellent, it really brought the poem to life for me. I think you should perhaps write out in words the abbreviations, such as 8 mm and possibly structure it more. It's a little hard to follow in places due to the lack of punctuation and seperate stanzas. You've got a good grasp on words though, I like the references to weight and I find that your first three lines are the strongest.

Comment is about The Stone I Own (blog)

Thank you for reading my poem 'The Berry Bridge'...
So very interesting and perceptive your comments are Cynthia!
You just go on and say whatever you want... : )

Francine x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you, Andy, for reading and commenting on my poem
'The Berry Bridge'...
Yes... My inner child comes out to play often ; )

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

You are foul Banksy - but funny, very funny!

Comment is about Victoriana (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

I think chauv'd means mithered/bothered. Clemt definitely means hungry - my dad used to use it and very occasionally you still hear it round these parts - though much of our dialect will probably die out with all the american tv kids watch - like the correct pronunciation of neither and either.

My dad also used to tell me if I was 'slating'. That means when your underskirt is showing beneath your skirt.Hope you don't mind me poking my nose in - it's a fascinating subject.

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

Hi - my mother-in-law used to come out with all these sayings & I have absolutely no idea what most of them mean - "I'm chauved d'eath" being one - also clemt ?? It wasn't something I grew up with in Bolton, but she was more towards Leigh XX

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

oh no Larisa! when I said keep practising-I also said that way you will get better and better! I don,t think there is a point in any artistes life where they feel they can,t get better-till the skills mature you could say-but put it this way your voice at present is wonderful-but you must keep adding to its quality-must you not? best regards-Stef-xx

Comment is about Please, stay with me! (Russian romance) (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Thanks Lynn-yes us men always being 'tortured' in one way of another,by you women-we are so badly done to! ha! ta lovey-Stef-xx(Benji-xx)

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks Cynthia
Bernie

Comment is about Afghanistan 75 (blog)

flows well, quite a good write

Comment is about Off the Hook (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

So many good descriptions, it worked for me.

Comment is about Stolen By The Light (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Enjoyed this, Atilla. I sincerely hope you live till 95 too!

Comment is about Too Much Pressure (blog)

Original item by Attila the Stockbroker

Lovely poem, Larisa, really like this, hope you are well, Love, Lynn xx

Comment is about Don't tell me farewell! (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Oh you clever girl re Benji,s pikky-but at anytime you need info on similar probs,let me know.And if I can,t help I think there are lots of people on here only too willing to do just that-some very clever postings without doubt!keep well all-Stefan-xx(Benji-xx)

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for commenting, Steve, Cynthia & Iz. This started as something else but became an attempt to reflect what are said to be the four fundamental anxiety 'clusters'. A bit ambitious in 41 lines.

The clusters are - Physical Limitation (pain, weakness, death etc); Guilt (shame, regret, conscience etc); Being unloved (not cared for or belonging, loneliness etc); Futility (absence of purpose or meaning).

I'm actually quite happy Cynthia, but am probably a bit round the bend as I find it helpful to take these things head on.

Comment is about Angst (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Thanks for your comment on my latest. I'm not doing a tit for tat on your latest. I had bookmarked it to return and slap a comment on. I like that style of poetry - amongst all of your styles.
Things quite busy at work - end of term madness and all that. x

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Have spent a while wondering what to write on this - there is so much in here. Poems don't come much more serious.
As you get older, you can't help but wonder what it's all about. I like the vulnerability in this and the lack of absolutes. I think I would agree with you that love is the key. It would be nice to think that our actions in life count for something - though I can't embrace the heaven and hell options.
If we create love and are loved then at least something survives and is hopefully passed down - twee as that may sound to some.

I find it interesting what you say Cynthia. Some people also seem to turn to religion in later life, looking for direction and meaning. I guess there are swings and roundabouts to everything.

Comment is about Angst (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

You manage to convey so much whilst saying nothing directly. I guess there are many reasons for not wanting a breakfast to finish... The phrase 'cold light of day' sprung to mind as I read this. I like the way you combine dialogue with descriptive narrative so artfully. An enjoyable piece of work. I like your reminiscent poetry - though I would never presume it to be you. x

Comment is about Stolen By The Light (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I feel like a fish being lured by some 'rare' bait. Even as the hook sinks in, I'm not sorry I bit.

Comment is about Afghanistan 75 (blog)

Really good, Ian. I like your figurative images like: 'Chardonnay haze reflects the bottle green'; 'cooled air kisses .... and swallows'; 'The Sun sets with a smile'. This is very imaginative, and you follow your idea with good diction that evokes emotion. The last line is a scene-stealer, shows real skill.

Comment is about Setting (blog)

Original item by Ian Nenna

This rings heartfelt and honest, and will reach many readers with its universal empathy. Please do not consider me rude, but I have found among many friends that those with a doctrine-oriented upbringing are the most unhappy, filled with self-doubt and even fear, especially as they grow older. I do not understand it.

Comment is about Angst (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

That is a great line, Gus, among many.

How brave am I! In all honesty, I think you are over the top, until your words have become mushy, the 'fineness' of your talent obscured by excess. In response, tear me to pieces, do.

Comment is about Stolen By The Light (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Don't listen Atilla ... I'm well past the middleage stigma... get younger every day..Red wine an Guinness......and dare I say Manchester United.

Well done great performance!

Gus

Comment is about Too Much Pressure (blog)

Original item by Attila the Stockbroker

'Daylight had entered like a confession' is a great line. I thought you said your creativity is away on holiday?

More!

Comment is about Stolen By The Light (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Good morning Lynn-hope you and family are ok-any probs with Benji,s pikky-give me a shout-its not too difficult to do-even for a thicko like me!! lol! lotsa love-Stef-xx ps.-regarding the trunks..I just remembered...I can,t swim! lol!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Attila

Enjoyed this. Especially the long 'No'

Dave (57)

Comment is about Too Much Pressure (blog)

Original item by Attila the Stockbroker

Good morning Dave-re the naked Lady-touche' Dave-touche!-have a good day-best regards-Stef.

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Thanks all for your comments.I'm anti-monarchy and anti-Motion.Although, I posted this on another site last year and amongst the responses he was described as both ginger and balding.A double blow. So now I feel a little pity for him.

Comment is about Motion Doesn't Matter! (blog)

This is so full of love and tenderness Gus...
Some very vivid scenes in here - I wanted to know more!

xxx

Comment is about Stolen By The Light (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Great work, Dave. Serious stuff on a big theme.

To be born human, and soon thereafter to be aware of our impending mortality; that changes everything.

Then there is the subject of God, and the purpose of this life ...

Comment is about Angst (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Dave-re being able to hear you from the back-no way! with you being so popular,the audience is fifty deep,and the legs of this naked girl on my sholuders are blocking my ears-hee...hee! ta matey-Stefan

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Hi Lynn-ta for comments on 'Vacuous' yes at the end of 'in a sea of without'I nearly put-my trunks(sorry-speedos)but thought ooer missis,better not! lol! thanks Lynn-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi yet again Larisa-how sill of me to forget the ideal backing instrument to your singing-the balalaika! perfect! heres looking at you(in the charts very soon!love-Stefan-xx

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Hi again Larisa-re your singing-do you think that Dave and I on backing vocals would help?.......yes,you are so right! haha! keep them coming lovely Lady-Stefan-xx

Comment is about Please, stay with me! (Russian romance) (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Dave-oh don,t burst into song-we,ve got enough rain here in Rossendale as it is-unless you sing into an unplugged mic! lol! catch you later-Stef.

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Hi again Dave-ta for comments on 'Black Hell'wish all success to you on future audio,s-you certainly have got the voice for it-all power to your elbow-or should that be tonsils? ha! thanks a lot-Stef.

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

You have some great ideas here, well worth writing about. I'm assuming it is basically a performance piece. why do you have underlines throughout? An accident perhaps?

Comment is about Brand New Beginnings (blog)

Original item by DKlastro~*