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Ann Foxglove

Mon 10th May 2010 08:10

Very evocative, I like this a lot. Especially for some reason the jars warming in the sun, I can smell the turps!! (And that is not a habit of mine - though it is a lovely smell!) x

Comment is about British Summer Time (blog)

Original item by Tom

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Andy N

Mon 10th May 2010 08:09

nice use of the bold bits, phil.. still going through your play too - had a lot on m8 but will be in touch soon..

Comment is about Would society find me, if I was not there (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 10th May 2010 08:04

Really beautifully read, and seeing your elfin face reading gave it a delicate haunting quality.

Comment is about When the Wind Sighs - Video Recital (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Chris Dawson

Mon 10th May 2010 07:56

Nice.
Cx

Comment is about Germinate (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Mon 10th May 2010 02:11

While there is a valid planning issue here, the issue is more ethnic than planning.

No offense is intended to decent British and English folk, the poem is written in anger and aimed at the old Tory imperial element that looks down on all those not British.

Incidently, under a law of James I, the Roma are the personal property of the Queen a are the swan of the lake, and to harm them is to damage the Royal property, a law brought in to protect Romanys in a bygone age...

It has never been repealed!

Idiotic planning laws forced on ordinary people should be resisted, but dont use Romanys as a scapegoat. Normal folk should suppor their "use" of the loopholes in the law to develop as they see fit their own homes, and spend as much time and effort in blockading the council who stop ordinary people adapting their homes as they do a gypsy camping on a field bought with their own cash.

Comment is about Hatred in the Heart of Olde England (blog)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

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Freda Davis

Sun 9th May 2010 23:27

Thanks for your comment Lynn. I agree with you about the election. Brave of you to write so topically. I have tried this but I get disheartened when I can't keep to the subject.
All the best.

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Jon

Sun 9th May 2010 22:46

Hi Lynn and welcome to Write Out Loud! Enjoyed your recession poem!Some true stuff in there about the origins of our financial woes!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Lynn Dye

Sun 9th May 2010 22:23

I really love this poem. This was the first I read when I joined this site last week, and has encouraged me to try new styles.

Comment is about flashback (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Lynn Dye

Sun 9th May 2010 22:17

Love your poems, Freda, especially PUPPY.

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

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Francine

Sun 9th May 2010 21:37

Tu me fais toujours rire Isobel - chin chin ; )

Left my shoe behind as I rushed to catch the bus. As I watch the traffic flow past, my world is coloured with thoughts of you. I pour my heart out into a mocha and wait... You elude my charm, you enchant and fascinate, you tease and torment, you are always there... my ever elusive love.

Comment is about That's what I call creative! (article)

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Francine

Sun 9th May 2010 20:57

I enjoyed listening to you Max...
I take the sibilances to reflect the wind sighing. Your very slight voice variations, along with your chosen words, create a bit of a disturbed and hypnotic state.

Comment is about When the Wind Sighs - Video Recital (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

<Deleted User> (8159)

Sun 9th May 2010 20:52

thanx for commenting me! Russian proverbs are fun...actually i though it was English one. :-)

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

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Max Wallis

Sun 9th May 2010 20:42

:)

Comment is about When the Wind Sighs - Video Recital (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Chris Dawson

Sun 9th May 2010 20:33

In that case - use it! Vary the pitch, tone etc ... make it a performance - trust me, I do know what I'm talking about here. :)
Cx

Comment is about When the Wind Sighs - Video Recital (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Max Wallis

Sun 9th May 2010 20:30

Chris I do know what you mean but also it's deliberate. The poem's more about the softer sibilances than 'z's.

Comment is about When the Wind Sighs - Video Recital (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Chris Dawson

Sun 9th May 2010 20:28

Beautiful voice Max, just watch the sibilance on certain words ending in s ... sighs, exercise ... unless the sibilance is deliberate (and if it is - use it - strengthen it - and vary it, to add interest) try saying sighz, exercize etc instead - it sounds better in performance - play with it a bit, you should be able to hear what I mean. Well done though.
Cx

Comment is about When the Wind Sighs - Video Recital (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Greg Freeman

Sun 9th May 2010 20:15

Very enjoyable and great fun this, Ann, even without the video. But who is the mysterious lady that appears in the middle of it ... is it Mrs L?

Comment is about a stan laurel kind of day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Yolande

Sun 9th May 2010 20:03

A unique perspective of an obviously driven man. Wonderfully written and very touching.
Yolande

Comment is about The Night Worker (blog)

Original item by Cate

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 9th May 2010 19:13

wifey says you are very clever Ann!she,s been listening to this-again and again! thank you-Stefan.

Comment is about a stan laurel kind of day (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

<Deleted User> (7904)

Sun 9th May 2010 18:21

I like the layout of the poem - the hesitancy and repetition, the sense of things being linked but not connected - which ties in to the failure to make a connection the poem is about. Something I'm not sure about is the anachronistic quality of some of the lines, which almost seem to me like translations of another work which have been sampled into this poem. I don't think they take anything away from the poem but I'm not sure what they add.

Overall I do like it though, and the central exchange of the last verse - the woman made to take the dominant part (I assume) answering 'kindly' that they're still 'in role' even though she doesn't like it - has a great deal of depth and says a lot about both fetishy relationships and more supposedly 'normal' ones.

Comment is about Bedroom Games (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 9th May 2010 17:54

Cate, this is brilliant. Your empathy and your objectivity with the whole situation makes it a heartbreaker. The construction is really good, with rhyme and rhythm carrying the details of the poem emotionally along to its philosophical ending.

Comment is about The Night Worker (blog)

Original item by Cate

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 9th May 2010 17:44

I think this is really good, Phil. It has a strong social voice, in a well-written, gripping story. It's great to have you posting.

Comment is about Would society find me, if I was not there (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

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Isobel

Sun 9th May 2010 17:28

I'm intrigued by this one Cynthia. The title led me to think it was about fun in the bedroom but I think you were misleading us. Is it about sexual relationships dying, boredom and servitude of a different nature setting in? Twisting bonds could be read two ways I guess...
Alternatively it could be about a sex game gone wrong LOL
Am also intrigued by the lay out. It looks something like a snake or sperm. Don't worry about coming back to me. I shall read with interest what others make of it.

Comment is about Bedroom Games (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Sun 9th May 2010 17:26

Hi, Kealan! Thanks for your comment on Ballad about the soldier. With warmest wishes, Larisa

Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)

Original item by Kealan Coady

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 9th May 2010 17:23

Terrific, Tommy. The whizzling brain cells are really getting organized again. I always read any posting under your name.

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Isobel

Sun 9th May 2010 17:17

I like this one too Tommy - unless I've completely misread what it's about, like I did on one occasion LOL.
It is well structured and there are many lines in it that resonate. Love the 'shadows cast in backward glances' also the parodox of 'crush of empty spaces'.
I could go on...

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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kealan coady

Sun 9th May 2010 16:14

This is a good piece, descriptive and full. Every person matters and the death of one impacts the many.

Comment is about Ballad about the soldier (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

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kealan coady

Sun 9th May 2010 16:08

good stuff tommo, reactional and the mood is one of vast nostalgia.

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Francine

Sun 9th May 2010 15:02

I agree with TC...
And these verses are especially moving:

'But this shadow
That you leave
Is cast in backward glances.

And this stone
The memories remain
An aching loss of chances.'

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

<Deleted User> (7073)

Sun 9th May 2010 14:16

Poignant poem which speaks to me of displacement and the feeling of internal dislocation that occurrs when what can never be slips painfully through your fingers.TC

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 9th May 2010 11:47

Love the idea of a rocking chair creaking in rhythm with one's bones. I must get one.

Comment is about Pauline Fayne (poet profile)

Original item by Pauline Fayne

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 9th May 2010 10:02

Really enjoyed this Steve-thanks.

Comment is about Self Harm (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

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pauline sewards

Sun 9th May 2010 08:47

a comic/tragic saga which captures the atmosphere of the picture really well - I did start to worry if DH had had an accident I'd not heard about!

Comment is about the biggest splash (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Chris Dawson

Sun 9th May 2010 03:06

I like this very much.
Cx

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 8th May 2010 23:37

I've lived here in Milton Keynes for 28 years. Like your poem, it is wildly underrated.

Comment is about HEAVEN MUST BE A COLD AND LONELY PLACE (blog)

Original item by Nash

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 8th May 2010 23:31

I liked this a lot Tommy, and nicely balanced in three line verses. Verse three is particularly good words.

Comment is about Love's cooling light (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Isobel

Sat 8th May 2010 20:44

Aaah - I love that last comment Francine - I guess it is a question of training oneself and exorcising the demons...perhaps a little more merlot and less coffee might be the answer for me...

Comment is about That's what I call creative! (article)

<Deleted User> (7073)

Sat 8th May 2010 18:37

I remember him, and his shaving must have been an awful life... takes me back this Cate.
love Bro XX

Comment is about The Night Worker (blog)

Original item by Cate

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Isobel

Sat 8th May 2010 17:49

Thanks for commenting on my latest Cynthia - you could never ever sound like a jerk and you are spot on. In some ways we are more honest to a screen than we are to a set of eyes and that can land us in trouble... The poem was also about how artificial connections can strangely give comfort.
Sorry to note your absence off the site but am hoping you may have some good poems to commend. Sling your April ones in, if you haven't had time to look through May. If you are having problems with blogs like me, you might like to check out the site feedback discussion thread that gives a few suggestions... x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Isobel

Sat 8th May 2010 16:06

Hi Max - it was lovely to meet you also. I can now officially declare you to be a 'real' person with a complexion I would die for! You are very talented and your poetry is mature, which had left a few of us wondering.
Look forward to meeting you at a future gig.
Isobel x

Comment is about Max Wallis (poet profile)

Original item by Max Wallis

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Max Wallis

Sat 8th May 2010 14:22

Nice to meet you last night Isobel!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

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kealan coady

Sat 8th May 2010 12:43

rapists serve their time in specially designated institutes for the distribution of systematic sodomy.

Nick Griffin admits through torture
His soul is lost and requests assisted suicide. But gets only the gun.

Kerry Katona gives up half her fat in a charity lypo-suction event which solves third world hunger.

Ireland is finally one country again. With nothing short of an
Extended apology from the tyranny of occupation.
800 years worth of sorry's

The rich pay the needy just for their company
And a trip to space its cheaper than a train ticket.

Comment is about poetic Justice (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

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kealan coady

Sat 8th May 2010 12:31

good piece, it shows the ever diluting fragility of the minds capabillity to overcome constant self critisizm.

Comment is about THE VINDICTIVE VOWEL (or the deflated self). (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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kealan coady

Sat 8th May 2010 12:27

dream of going home? sorry now but they werent forced. The days of conscription are over.I'll feel sorry for a british soldier the day they find wmd's (and probably not even then). Theres always poems on this feeling pity for the imperialist forces but never any sympathy for the maimed and murdered civillian men, women and children of Iraq/Afghanistan. But I suppose no sympathy for them because the media in this country makes sure it doesnt even cross the minds of the population.

Comment is about FRAGMENTS FOR PRIVATE RICHARD HUNT (blog)

Original item by Rodney Wood

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Nash

Sat 8th May 2010 08:48

If only skelmersdale scanned, Banksy

Comment is about HEAVEN MUST BE A COLD AND LONELY PLACE (blog)

Original item by Nash

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Gemma Lees

Fri 7th May 2010 23:03

i was definately attempting to generate debate or at least thought on the subject, rachel, and i think the series (ive not yet written) will (hopefully) do that as an ensemble. thanks everyone for your feedback, i was quite worried about tackling such a sensitive subject and im glad that i havent done too a bad job.

Comment is about She's So Sick (blog)

Original item by Gemma Lees

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Chris Dawson

Fri 7th May 2010 22:46

Thank-you Cynthia for your comments on 'Disconnected' - glad you like it.
Think I agree with you about apostrophe in wires, but not in connection's (abbreviation). Thanks for the advice.
:-)
Cx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Chris Dawson

Fri 7th May 2010 22:44

Thanks Andy, for your comments on 'Disconnected' - glad you like it.
Cx

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

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Francine

Fri 7th May 2010 21:28

I grab a hot mocha with soy to go - which by the way has my signature heart on it - to walk the streets of Manchester, taking in the sun that I happened to bring along... ; )
and truly believing that a better world is possible... Si on voit la vie en rose.

Comment is about That's what I call creative! (article)

<Deleted User> (7212)

Fri 7th May 2010 20:46

Fuck ! you've obviously never been to Hull, or Burnley for that matter

Comment is about HEAVEN MUST BE A COLD AND LONELY PLACE (blog)

Original item by Nash

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