However do I spill this?

Do you see how thin I look?

My eyes are blind

I hear loud noises every now and then

Like a train of loaded thoughts passing through my brain.

Yes, I also can't breathe well on Fridays 

When I see Mr. Renfield

Feeding his mule

With grass from our farm.

When I decide to take my life

You'll know

That all along

The signs were there- 

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 I yearn for Him

Head between my knees

Bowed deep in prayer.

But words get stuck in my throat 

My thoughts scattered, incoherent.

While my mouth moves, I know not what I say.

I murmur and hope He listens

Listens to the pain hidden behind my murmurs 

Listens to my heart's silent cries

The tears shed in secret

And the thoughts yet unsaid .

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Hail to all that liveth

Give thanks for a new rising sun.

Drive revolutions toward destiny

And war, a stake in the ground.

Banish all that speaks of evil

And crown the peaceful at heart.

Let the mountains tremble in truth

Let the rivers sing of justice

Wash in waterfalls of sweet freedom

For you are the flame that will not die

The voices that rise in unity

Wit...

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Who am I, but a reflection in the water-

A sealed bottle of uncertainty and misdeeds?  

Who am I, but a drifting log on a chunk of earth

Clothed and fed by the same enigmatic soil?  

Who am I, but a drop in the sea 

Salty and adrift in the heart of a storm?  

Who am I, but a past unfolding in the future

Scorned and praised by minds that scarcely understand?  

Who am I,...

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An intimidated heart recoils from his touch,  

While a ravenous heart surrenders to hunger-

An experiment beyond the weak

A lesson to the fools

To those of love and hate.  

Trembling like a loose leaf

Later trampled, buried in the soil

Lost among moss and dead trees.  

A forgotten prayer whispered to the wind

A wish lost to the endless night.

Father, Father

Gr...

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A grandmother's gaze,  

Discerning yet soft, like dusk settling on the earth,  

A mood both perplexing and warm,  

Questions suspended in the air,  

Begging to be heard  

By youthful, open ears.  

Brown, green, blue eyes—  

All belonging to her,  

All resonating within her,  

Each holding stories untold,  

Whispers of time woven in her veins.  

Wisdom gathered...

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Waiting for him is my only way to hold on

Sitting outside his door, heart racing for it to open.  

This feeling, ineffable to others, is mine alone to bear.  

When his lips move, my soul finds peace

And I smile like a fool, unaware the seeds of betrayal are taking root.  

My laughter echoes, strange and wild

Stirring hidden things in the dark.  

The silence creeps in, always u...

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Dear diary,

Is Father coming today?

It's been a while.

Who will tell him that I got paid.

The days drift by, 

And still, I wait

In this quiet mystery.

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When the rain ceases,  

And dusk creeps in quietly,  

When the west glows with proud orange,  

Then I'll know—  

It's time to go home.  

I'll gather the flock and the herd,  

Wade through the evening dust,  

And down the hill I'll go,  

With a heart easy to please,  

A foolish smile on my face,  

To a cabin at the edge of town,  

Where my soul resides.

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A bony child, a sick child 

Wades through muddy water, stumbles over battered roads

A quiet child, a trodden child

Eats with hunger, with greediness 

A shy child, a violent child

Runs after street vendors and dogs, cons the benevolent 

A street, a war, a game to play.

A bony child, a sick child is her-

Me.

A traumatized child, a ragged child

Stomping around hospi...

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It's duly noted that

An anomaly in life is met with

Strength, character...

And even marksmanship?

Is it wrong if I go to the shamans?

If knees are scraped, often from temple visits?

If I dine with monks, for a percentage of hope?

If a spark of my dignity is diminished, after

Crying to falling skies?

Soaking in their bitterness, God's valor ?

God's favor I hope?

Is ...

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Wherever the wind may lead,

That's where I'll follow, free.

To embrace the wild trees,

And hear the frogs' soft croak,

Becoming an explorer at heart.

Through meadows wide and rivers deep,

Where the sun and shadows softly meet,

I'll chase the dawn and greet the night,

With stars above as guiding light.

No map, no path, just endless skies,

A world unknown befo...

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A battle of loneliness, trapped in isolation

Heart shudders in fear, bowing to the cold.

The old year passes, fading into the new

Misgivings, demons, decay taking hold.

Eating disorders, bony hands

A forceful wind knocks breath from the land

On lazy winter afternoons...

Sweep, sweep away

Bow in prayer inside a four walled city.

Cries and shouts, desperation calls

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I walk among the shadows,

Shadows of lies, secrets, and ignorance.

Shoulder to shoulder, walking with strangers,

Faceless people staring through each other.

Somebody taps me,

Somebody calls my name—

But the voice is lost in the haze.

The real me is fading,

Melting into the vale,

A silhouette in the crowd,

Dissolving like mist at dawn.

I reach out, but the hand...

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Small things like these-

Staring out the window,  

Feeling the warmth of the sun on the face,  

Eyes gleaming, twinkling with quiet excitement.  

Goosebumps rise on the skin,  

Aflame with forgotten vigor.  

Small things like these-

The cold touch of water,  

Toes twitching in the bath,  

Awakening to the gentle brush of hands,  

Blood rushing to the face,  

C...

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What does it take to get peace around here?

Do I whisper my secrets to the wind and finally feel a sense of relief?

Do I face the mountains and pray for redemption as rocks plummet down from a mountainside?

Do I wash in lakes full of water lilies and drink dew from their leaves?

Or do I give in to chaos and disappear fully into banishment...

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It's almost Christmas,

It's snowing and snowflakes twirl in the winter sky.

My roof has caved in, a heavy sigh

As beams and rafters begin to cry.

It's raining and there's fog in the distance,

The rain is a gentle patter on windowpanes,

And from my window, I see lights twinkling on and off inside the fog,

Each blink a whisper, a light in the heart.

It's a sight to behold ind...

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Faces,

Desperate faces,

Blank faces,

Resigned faces,

Passive faces,

Tired faces,

Shamed faces,

Stare at walls,into nothingness.

From the brink of the universe, from the edge of a cliff.

Nearly plunging deep into the ocean, sinking into the quiet of the night

It's like a near-death experience.

I fear mine is one of them,

In fact, I possess all.

I'm alread...

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I heard my mother say it today,

And she could not be more right.

Yes, it is true

I killed my dream; I died a long time ago.

I was hanging out with Mark,

Their house has a large backyard.

His father has an orchard,

And I like apples.

I've eaten too many apples I fear there are none left on the trees,

Just like my dreams and hopes for a once bright future.

Even Mark's f...

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Could a miracle befall me?

Me,

Me who hopes and then cries?

Me who sees and then ignores?

Me who chooses the lone road every time?

Me who sings shrilly but no soul hears?

Me who sins and never displays penitence? 

Me who reiterates the same blunder and it's like groundhog day?

Me who gets beaten up and is still ignorant?

Me who puts others first?

Could a miracle phase...

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I was sitting beneath a magnolia tree in the park today,

I watched as a bird landed on a branch full of large, leathery leaves and pink flowers,

How it landed with its wings spread out proud,

Those elliptical, alluring wings that shame the rainbow,

Left me feeling mirthful, 

And I watched as it's tiny talons,

Firmly perched on the green,wet boughs

With a grip so tight that my ...

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I am awake now, not to the world, not to anything at all, just awake,

Eyes open and that's all,

I keep hoping I'll experience a moment of enlightenment,

But the thing about hope, it kills,

So I decide to lie down,

On that battered bed, with a dirty linen,

Tap…tap…tap, the water patters,

It's murky and I can almost smell it.

It's raining now,

Delusions run wild, erra...

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I want to get out but the way is shut,

I want to fly but my wings are bleeding,

I want to sing at the top of my lungs but they're punctured,

I want to cry but my eyes are dry,

And the air,

The air is so thin such that I can neither breathe nor gasp,

I desire nothing more than to be free but the clouds are dark,

They threaten to fall,

They whisper of an incoming storm,

A ...

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Sometimes, you learn to be frugal, humble,and patient,

Sometimes, life beats you down so hard you can't get up,

It shreds you into pieces that take forever to piece back together.

Piece by piece, you glue,

Only to come undone, for your tears are stronger than your will,

Brimming with them, they cut and cut,

Leaving behind an empty and aching heart ,

That only time and hum...

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I am brimming with happiness today,

Partially because he touched me,

He touched my arms, my hair, the nape of my neck,

He bit my cheeks,

I know

That's probably why I can't stop smiling .

Partly also, it's because it's raining,

I hear the rain,

I hear as it falls,

I hear as it hits my gable roof,

The sound it makes as it hits the tiles ,

Echoes in my heart,

...

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You ever feel like the world is moving backwards?

Like the days don't ever end?

Like the nights prolong and steal the light of day?

Like reality merges with your imagination,

And now, now you don't even know what is real anymore?

Now, all you see is the darkness,

That hovers over the earth,

That clouds your mind and soul,

That whispers sadness into the world.

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Why am I so unfortunate?

You ever wonder that?

Because I do, and wonder

Why am I always begging at the hands of others?

You know, those who strive to thrive unlike me,

Because I, I stare at walls.

I wonder,

Why does the wind change direction in my world?

It’ll blow north, south, east and even west,

All directions but mine,

Why does it never blow in my face?

Wh...

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I see a star and a half moon,

The night is awake,

The night is agaze and it shines on my face,

Illuminating all my fears,

And casting dancing shadows at my feet,

Long like deep water heights,

 And I feel light,

As I stride on the lone road.

I want to say I'm not afraid of monsters, 

But my walk appears hurried,

My feet buried deep in my shoes.

The light s...

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