I found it very gripping and rhythmic,realistic and pragmatic as well.Way to go! :)
Comment is about Growing Up (blog)
Original item by Noetic-fret!
<Deleted User> (11722)
Thu 12th Dec 2013 21:38
Nelson Mandela is the Great Soul of Africa-our symbol of hope. As a South African I mourn and celebrate his passing.
this poem(published 2012) is a tribute in the form of a Tanka (form poetry)
Nelson Mandela
Worthiest soldier
black Adonis we revere
martyr Mufasa
Immortals shudder in angst
when Great Gods whisper your name
(From my book Fragments of my Heart -Ronel McCarthy)
Comment is about Nelson Mandela: lighting candles around the world (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Thanks for the comment!
The title "Meadowell" is based on the Meadowell Estate where this riot took place....
Maybe I should have made that clear lol
Comment is about Meadowell (blog)
Original item by Aaron Dinsdale
Hi Aaron I started reading the body of your poem before the title- a habit- The line- ''The Lesson that day was that things burn.'' resonates and its power (I believe there is power in the work) exemplified by that line.
Maybe It was deliberate, or no, but that line states and questions at the same time. Accusative and matter-of-fact. Words that stand back and point has a place literature and politics. As per usual- headlines kill the story. Tommy
Comment is about Meadowell (blog)
Original item by Aaron Dinsdale
Conflict
Laugh at your enemy
while he questions why
strike hard at vulnerability
defence lines opened up.
Forceful intent follows through
pretence no longer needed
the sword of laughter
shines steel of red.
Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)
Original item by Stockport WoL
Many thanks for your thoughts, MC. It hurts to think that when once I was deadly now I'm just nearer dead!
Comment is about I Miss The Man That I Used To Be (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Only just found this Starfish.
Really like the rhythm I like especially the line "Nature's civil engineer". I like the technical sense but also the implication in "civil" of benign.
Comment is about The Badger (blog)
Original item by Starfish
Thank you. I clicked on the link. It is quite magical.
Comment is about owl - with a film by Paul Healy (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Marauding Vikings, fairy lights and now this excellent, poignant piece. What a varied repertoire.
Comment is about I Miss The Man That I Used To Be (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Aww this is lovely and thoughtfully put. I'd grow another pip.
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Hmm, aye *scratches chin* may well work that Cynth, ta!
Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Once again, thanks for looking in on my work. Your comments are much appreciated.
Looking at your bio I see you have completed some screenplays. I've done 3 myself, had them read by the BBC but not taken up. Others just come back in the post marked 'unread'. Poetry is so much simpler . .
Best wishes, Steve
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
don't want much there, m8. made me smile! agree with steve too. a bit of trimming may help it's impact more on the page.
Comment is about Dear Santa (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
This surely touches a chord with all who have
moved on. Back in the early 60s, my parents
lived in a small house in the sticks on the
Wiltshire/Berkshire border. Not long ago, my
brother and I took a motor trip on my birthday
to see the place. It was strange to see how
much it had been altered by occupants since
our time there. It was another home entirely -
even had an extension added. The lines above
capture perfectly the oddness one feels when
witnessing the palpable passing of time in this
"concrete" fashion.
Excellent!
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Time takes its toll but also contributes to the
"sum" of things...you could say it's "balance in
action".
Fit and fast and fancy-free,
Now old and slow and contented - me!
Comment is about I Miss The Man That I Used To Be (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hi Aaron - welcome to WOL. Be great if you felt like putting some of your poems on the blogs section. More people see them there than on the profile page.
Comment is about Aaron Dinsdale (poet profile)
Original item by Aaron Dinsdale
Hi Ernie - welcome to WOL. Be nice to see some of your work on the blogs section :)
Comment is about Ernie Burns (poet profile)
Original item by Ernie Burns
Hi Stella - welcome to WOL. A powerful piece here. It's good to write!
Comment is about Stella Stilinski (poet profile)
Original item by Stella Stilinski
Hi Isobel,
sometimes its foolish to look back at better times, but who can help it? -I certainly can't. Thanks for reading, Steve
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Chris,
Sorry I missed your Christmas do (not home in time) Still recovering. When recovered then back to the fray.
Love to Natalie and Glynis
Comment is about Chris Co (poet profile)
Original item by Chris Co
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 11th Dec 2013 22:19
theres a lot to be said for simple(no disrespect intended)humour.Nice one Thomas.x
Comment is about Billericay lido (blog)
Original item by Marnanel Thurman
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 11th Dec 2013 22:14
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 11th Dec 2013 22:00
Lynn,nice to see you blogging again,but! when do we get to know what-IS-'beneath the petticoats within'? is it a hot water bottle,or thermal bloomers? lol!x
Comment is about Secrets of the Willow (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Thank you for your welcome, glad to be here.
Comment is about Leslie Smith (poet profile)
Original item by Leslie Smith
I love this poem, Cynthia - it is so poignant and true and well written.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Very moving poem Cynthia, with a lovely balance of the structure and discipline of the tutor and the damage and poignancy within the boy.
I would imagine there might be a fair bit of 'disclosure', for want of a better word, when you are tutoring kids who do actually need more attention paid to them, as they are struggling elsewhere in their lives. I was a classic underachiever in school.
I saw the initial blog btw this morning, and came back to comment, and see you have made the changes. Great stuff.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
I'm glad you've put it to paper, Cynthia. Something like that would haunt me too. It's a strange thing this poetry business - it does allow you to exorcise stuff that otherwise would lay there - as if in some way you're making amends, by drawing attention to it.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
It sings - with great poetic skill.
Darren's point is excellent. So is yours. Perhaps you could combine the two. I think it works really well - honours the 'homage' idea and yet avoids a direct 'copy' effect that does jar your own line.
'May your flame spark gently in sunset tonight - unsurpassed.'
Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Isobel, thank you so much. My Mother Says is barely 'just finished', a couple of days only. I don't often post so quickly. Your comments are excellent and are now incorporated. This has been a work of the heart, on my mind for a long time. I couldn't have asked for a better response. I did consider calling it 'The Tutoring Lesson', but opted for the circular closing to optimize the 'shock' which I felt when this 'story' actually occurred. I'm hoping more than one theme runs through this work.
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Isobel, thank you so much. This is barely 'just finished', a couple of days only. I don't often post so quickly. Your comments are excellent and are now incorporated. This has been a work of the heart, on my mind for a long time.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
I really like this.
I wonder if deep into the night
our voices from years ago
Might penetrate the years
and our echo may softly rebound
Across the walls we used to own.
I've gone back to areas I used to live in and looked at houses my kids grew up in - and it's a sad experience - beautifully expressed in those lines.
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Well put, classily considered. I couldn't agree more with your premise/s. It took three readings before I settled in to the ideas expressed because they are a 'mouthful' (as 'thoughts' themselves most definitely are.) Check your last stanza for a spelling/computer glitch. Great to see you on line again. I actually thought of you a couple of weeks ago, wondering where you might be. Compliments of the Season.
Comment is about Thoughts (blog)
Original item by Joshua Van-Cook
Oh - this is so sad Cynthia - but excellently portrayed - I can see the picture so clearly in my head.
If you were looking for any form of critique on it, I think I'd make it clearer somewhere that you are not the mother - I'm presuming that you are a tutor - perhaps you could say 'beside the tutor's table'?
I'd also get rid of some of the capital letters at the beginning of sentences, particularly in the verse which is all speech.
Finally, and I don't know quite why, for me it would work better if it was all reported in present tense - it would make it more immediate somehow.
I love the way the end ties in with the title - it's a poem with a punch!
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
You don't want much Ian!
I have to say that I'd be tempted to cut a few verses and make this shorter but thats only a personal feeling. Great poem.
best wishes,
Steve
Comment is about Dear Santa (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
this poem was written about 2003, things were a bit better than. I know myself a few ppl with varied degrees, not worth the paper theyre written on. quite bad considering the study and effort time. nevermind no jobs now. they agree on the number of jobs are less now.
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Nowadays, even people with degrees in demanding subjects are struggling to find jobs:
Angeline Scorgie, 21, biological sciences
'After graduating, Angeline did some temp work with an insurer but since then has been looking for work. She is now back living with her parents in south-west London. "I have struggled with the fact that a university degree doesn't mean anything anymore," she says.'
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Since when did liberal arts/humanities degrees secure high incomes?
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/dec/05/graduate-employment-housemates
In fact, since when did they secure jobs?
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
i'm university educated actually, Nick. have been among it to a degree. hated it.
can't blame you for writing what you wrote here. too much snobbery in it.
good piece however.
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
nice piece again, emmy. the last line is particularly strong and finishes the piece off lovely. excellent.
Comment is about coming back (blog)
Original item by emmy92
here is my humble tribute. a great man without doubt. wish some of our recent PM's had been half as good.
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=40100
Comment is about Nelson Mandela: lighting candles around the world (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
projectRAW
Tue 10th Dec 2013 09:23
The RAW mic events at Annie's Bar (now called Hoot'N Annie's) are on hold over Christmas and New Year. Notice will be given as to when RAW mics and workshops commence again. For updates, be added to the mailing list by emailing projectraw@loudnlight.com
All the best to all creative people
CT/CamTan Ringel - CEO of Project RAW
Review is about RAW mic and poetry workshop on 30 Dec 2013 (event)
A whispered tickle of birdsong.
Why can't I think of words like that? A quite lovely piece.
Comment is about The Evergreens (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
I would just add to these above -
The company of those I love.
Comment is about Dear Santa (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
It is a really lovely poem. So well written, as ever.
Comment is about The Evergreens (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
A lovely poem, full of optimism, of that old 'putting things into perspective'
Comment is about Prison - Mandela thoughts (blog)
Original item by Ian Beckett
Fantastic poem - I absolutely love this, and identify with it very strongly.
Comment is about Poem for Nelson Mandela. (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
thank you Isobel, it is lovely to think you share same the same feeling.
take care.
Comment is about The Evergreens (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Isobel - I can put you out of your misery. Goose cheese comes from the goose and not the gander.
Lady Ha Ha - Yes indeed. I try to
"speak of things that matter
with words that must be said"
Comment is about Fairy Lights (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
It would be good to welcome some new (and returning members). You need to come in by the side door since, for security reasons, the front door isn't opened in the evening. Ring the bell for access. This sounds a bit like GCHQ, but we are not clandestine at all and really rather nice and welcoming! See you there, Maggie
Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport on Monday (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Shevaughn
Fri 13th Dec 2013 07:54
Such a heartbreaking poem . Your feelings are so alluring.
I'm just 16years old but I can tell you with utmost sincerity and genuineness that whoever your looking for will be yours very soon or she might even be right around the corner,who knows.Whatever it is,don't stop wanting her no matter what happens :)
Comment is about HIS LATEST FLAME/FUGITIVE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER