You searched for yourself, but could not be found

Not in the future or present, not even in the past

It seems so absurd; you know you’ve been around

Even though you’re not sure where you spotted you last

Can’t remember life’s perspective or a personal affirmation

As you teeter here at the precipice of today’s eternity

You try to speculate when the changes had begun

When ...

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There stands Mother Nature

Stripped naked of her foliage

Old man Winter pulled a thread

From her beautiful fall dress

Slowly the patterns fell unraveled

With the colors falling to the ground

She shivers now in the coolness

Of his frosty breath of bitterness

There is no compassion from the sun

As it trails off with its warmth

Arthritic tree fingers gnarled and rig...

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I linger on the written phrase

Feeling the struggle in each word

Empathy swirling through the haze

As the mind sifts through what it heard

Or

I smile at the clever wit within a line

Like buried treasure to be revealed

Clues to decipher and then combine

That lead to precious jewels concealed

Or

I read through the somber tone

An emotion that moves my soul

A t...

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Do not pretend that you see inside

The invisible parts of me that died

Don’t shake your head so remorsefully

As if you understand my personal tragedy

You wonder how far gone, my crippled brain

Is my disability dangerous, am I able to refrain

Divert your eyes, don’t let the fear be known

Pray your own mental demons are never shown

Close the facilities, no longer deal wi...

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There are those days, this being one

When you wake up in such a funk

You feel it but know it’s useless to run

You’re entangled in all humanities junk

You franticly search your little book of tricks

To refocus your vision, see past the gloom

My self-adjustment fails, I’ll have to take my licks

If I were wise, I’d lock myself inside my room

Let it run its course, let it ...

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cool, crisp air

swirls gentle around me

with a tender cadence

brushes my cheeks

so soothingly

sitting obediently in

pre-dawn darkness

my soul now dances

with the breath of life

briefly, before time

moves the moment on

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A heart once green as summer leaves

Trembling with the expectation of love

Blushing red with emotions decreed

Is it the true love that dreams are made of

But love’s colors fade in Autum’s indifference

Leaving behind a colorless landscape of hope

Love now stands broken with no recompence

Stripped of beauty and warmth, left to cope

Winter’s bleak, colorless days will slo...

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The weather it would seem has a total disregard

For how I shall traverse this fog and uneven street

My unsteady gait already hinders, makes it hard

Then you mock my blurry vision and my erratic feet

If not for the thin and sturdy friend which I have met

Who helps prop up my posture while I get my bearing

Thank you, kind sir, for your services I am in your debt

Perhaps I d...

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Share with me your treasure

Of never quite grasping danger

Or understanding crueler intentions

Teach me to see through the ugliness

To see the simple beauty, I overlook

How is your heart so radiant, so open

What guards you from darkness and cruelty

Laughter escapes you freely

The smile lingers on your lips and in your eyes

Others think you clueless, like a little ch...

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My head an oaken cask

Smokey, scotch-stained mind

Permeating in darkness aged

The golden nectar of perception

Blended grains of process

Fermenting in the quiet dark

Until the time is right to be released

Time to test the dormant spirits

Enticed now by liquid reason

Drunk upon aged perception

Mental acuity ambles aimlessly

Unfiltered words tumble free

Mixing...

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They wander from location to location searching, hoping to gain

That differential factor that sets them apart from all other people

They think their unique but if asked why they couldn’t explain

Why they call themselves individuals yet think and act like sheeple

They follow the crowd and add to the collective herd mentality

Their mantra is free speech as they repeat what they’v...

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What I write matters not to the world 

How I write matters even less

The words themselves seek no approval

Their meaning demands no understanding

Letters quietly laid down unceremoniously

Whisper their commitment to the paper only

The sentiment lingers on them like cologne

Reasoning resides within the coagulated ink

Entombed, the meaning lay deathly still

Overshadow...

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From the window of my little roomette

I watch the landscape scrolling past

It is as varied as the people aboard

Each a different story, a different mindset

Scenery has been staged, all riders in the cast

The unwritten script requiring a certain accord

The anatomy of this production is never static

Characters continue to enter and leave the stage

Dynamics altered from c...

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Too exhausted to sit up straight

Should have slept a day ago

High noon brings another debate

Make something happen or go with the flow

Wake the blood with a little hair of the dog

I crank the bike, my friend takes the car

Headed for the lake to rinse out the fog

Quick skinny dip, a cold one from the trunk bar

Starting to shake those mid-day blues

Music get...

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Standing at a roundabout to the future

Reluctant to traverse this threshold

Into an existence that feels obscure

Into the darkness of the unforetold

Once across there is no returning

Beyond the border of tomorrow

Yesterday is gone, just a yearning

Not what you knew but what you know

Winds of change blow through time

They are neither hostile nor benign

Listen care...

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Do you ever get weary of words

Tired of observations

Tired of the emotions

Do you ever wonder what’s the point

In writing something down

Leaving your scratch upon the paper

Is it your personal therapy

Emotional release, mind cleansing

Or an exercise in futility

But here we are with pen in hand

Life’s essence flowing with the ink

The unblemished paper

Now soiled ...

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Sunlight burst upon the horizon

Exploding like lightening in a storm

Light fell upon the earth like rain

And soaked into our exposed skin

The warmth ran in little rivulets

From my hair and across my face

The sunlight tasted sweet like honey

And sounded like music in the wind

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I see many colors in my world, millions of shades between each one

Yet, you want me to divide, separate and categorize all that I see

To choose a single color while all the others I am to simply shun

How can I ignore all the shades there are, each different by a degree

They give this earthly painting its beauty, a treasure for our eyes

I refuse to accept your singular sight; I...

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Grown

       Married  

                Children of our own

   Yet still 

               The children of our parents

The loving circle

    Of relatives

         We watched it shrink

Felt it fading

    One by one

         They moved on

                   Never to be seen again

It continued

         To the very last

                  One mother...

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In occasional fancy my conscious thoughts have intertwined

With numerous visions of imagination conjured by the mind

I seek to broker a sense of peace for my restless, weary soul

Something beyond the reach of eroding time’s vanquishing toll

The reaper has been barred from entry into this sacred space

He stalks, but to no avail, his shadow shall not obscure my face

My imagina...

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unseen sovereignty of existence

self-perpetuating cycle of opposites

a piece of each within the other

indelible stains upon mind and heart

infinite force of healing and destruction

Dominance with pure intentions

            or merciless devastation of harmony

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Scattered here upon my desktop

Are all these little scraps of paper

It must be a habit I apparently can’t stop

For there is an abundance, that’s for sure

They seem to have a language of their own

A staccato union of a couple words or more

I look at them and release a befuddled moan

What was the purpose of this little scrap I tore

I see the word starlight and ponder at ...

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In youth I enjoyed floating in the sea of humanity

Blindly diving in and exploring its mysterious deep

I saw the writing on the wall, its meaning lost to obscurity

There were things there in its darkness that made me weep

But still I pursued its golden ring throwing caution to the wind

My candle burned from both ends racing to enlighten the way

Ruled by impulsivity my carele...

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He is precise and careful to shape words of familiarity

With emotion reined in works meticulously at his craft

Experienced, he is master at handling proper formality

Revising incessantly to attain a properly constructed draft

He is hailed a genius for his detailed attention to standard form

And his measured articulation to produce a finished product

His work in print is s...

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The footfalls of silence echo softly in my ear

Like the reflection of slippers dancing in a mirror.

In the solitude of my mind the quiet echoes amplify

So loud it begins to resemble nature’s thunderous cry.

Mind shadows are awakened and rush out to play

But if I try to join them, they scurry quickly away.

My heart cries out to them, there is no need for fright

As I whispe...

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Immortal moments have no end

The breath of time flowing by

Collective wisdom in the wind

Like nothing mortal ever shown

The tranquil peace of wisdoms age

A world that time has only known

Descend would I the sacred rung

Of this invisible ladder of time

To see if wisdom once was young

Truth stands naked to the wind

With roots buried as deep as t...

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As the daylight succumbs to the night

The cutting edge of the shadow maker falls

Upon my conscious

Decision surrenders to the echo of footsteps

Mixed with the faint whispering of the wind

Come, follow me

There is no regard to time or its passing

When the wind beckons for me to come

I must follow

Now the whispers of the wind have ceased

The solitude heavy with a d...

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Dreaming

     Lucidly

Thought embryos forming

     Growing

Birthed perceptions

      Wailing words

From collective consciousness

       Flowing free

Pooling in the mind

        Imminent release

Transferential processes

        From where

                  To where

Metacognition hypothesis

        Thoughts regarding

                   Thoughts

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When I was young I was curious and asked why

Most often what I received was a look and a sigh

My mother would tell me that’s just the way it was

I would ask my dad why, but he’d answer just because

My curiosity continued to be cultivated by ambiguity

Making me question even more the things I would see

We live in a world that is full of smoke and mirrors

I’ve questioned th...

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am i normal

i seek references

comparison to what

what standard of measure

i am just a man

what category do I belong

no distinction

i am simply human

am i this or that

do i pass the test

based on what

for what purpose

a decent person

what’s the standard

according to whom

according to when

i have withdrawn

leave me out of it

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Like a serpent the fire’s flames flick at the air

Sensing something curious lingering quietly

In the smokey realm floating above the glare

Between the hazy vision of dreams and clarity

Flames continue to dance on burning carcasses

Of sacrificial logs, anointed with oil and set aflame

Their wooden bones glow as their body diminishes

We do not shriek in horror as we watch t...

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We start at birth with what we see and feel

Experiences we mold into bricks of memory

The foundational bricks of our individualism

Bricks forming the essence of who we are

We stack them up hoping they won’t fall

Some bricks may crumble and leave a hole

We might replace it or just leave it open

The bricks will become weathered with time

They’ll fade and chip but remain ...

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Time is but an illusion

Revolutions on a clock

It tells us when we’re done

Stop and punch the clock

Mans little ritual showing times in play

Clocks are merely a contrivance for the boss

While real time has nothing to do with a day

Or the weight and measure of a moment’s loss

Like the raging waters of a flood

The rampant river of time pushes on

What doesn’t move i...

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I’ve stared into the windows to your soul

Looked into an empty void, a hollow shell

A shroud of misery draped across your heart

Like a harbinger of death prophesizing a toll

Through glazed crystals flicker lights from hell

A shudder of fear arises with a thought to depart

I should flee, taking with me all that I now know

Screams of agony burst through the ashen shroud

While...

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Alone and afloat on the sea of tranquility, so peaceful, so warm and still

My boat is my friend, I call him boat, but he likes to go by the name of Bill

I don’t ask him why that name because when I do his mood turns sour

We’ve been drifting for a very long time, many days or perhaps an hour

Time drifts lazily like the sea with no beginning or end, it’s jus...

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 Come to me with your bucket of hope

Bring it quick, please do not refrain

I need your help if I’m going to cope

In a world gone mad, gone insane

I once carried a bucket just like yours

A pail full of promises and lofty dreams

Personal things you can’t buy in a store

Tokens of aspirations I’d hoped to redeem

People blindly began rejecting common sense

To the point where ...

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The boy sits on a stoop watching in quiet solitude

As a person rushes by with an impassive attitude

Eyes staring straight ahead to avoid any activity

Perhaps afraid of what by chance he might see

He’s missed the shadow dancing across the street

With graceful rhythm she moves her skillful feet

A woman smokes on the fire escape far above

And farther up come the coos of a mo...

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I stand and wait ever watching for my friend

At the fork of those two roads into the wood

That place where choice lingers up past the bend

Perhaps I’ll seek another path, perhaps I should

But it is inevitable this fork that lay before my eye

One worn and comfortable, the other a mystery

Will my friend and I choose the same or say goodbye

Disquiet spreads through-out my ca...

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Look about the void with an unrelenting eye

Antiquated thinking hasn’t traveled far

On the beliefs of crowd mentality don’t rely

Inebriated spirits scheme in the pews of bars

Delusional conspiracies being loosely hatched

Theories floating in the brain’s pickled brine

From well-worn constructs rebuilt and patched

Reminiscent of old ghost conspiring across the Rhine

Shadows h...

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I see the world by the shadows it has cast

The imprints of existence decayed into time

Silent memorabilia from our molecular past

A macabre dimension portrayed only in mime  

I see degrees of darkness and shades of light

Complexity made simple by virtue of design

Twisted angles of truth are now within sight

I see it all clearly, yet so hard to define

We pl...

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There are times when I sit to write

There’s no thinking, it just feels right

But other times when I attempt a piece

All my thoughts just seem to cease

I think my hardest about what to say

But I think it will be just a wasted day

So many images spinning in my mind

But not one single word there do I find

That single thought now way off track

I’m having series doubts I’ll g...

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The world can be a lonely place

Even when you’re standing face to face

There are times you can’t help feeling lost

And life feels meaningless, not worth the cost

But tomorrow comes and things will change

Misery won’t find you, you’ll be out of range

You can’t see it now, but you know it’s out there

And someday, maybe, when you have money for fare

You’ll get aboard the ...

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Watching fluffy clouds float in the sky

Or watch the people passing bye

Distractions to pass the time

On this day so sublime

So warm and sunny

Just right for me

To relax

And find

Peace

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The solitude of my depression

was not my own suggestion.

Think if you must it be my style

but it tags along at my denial.

It’s a terrible nuisance, I’ll admit

Always trying to get me to submit

It tries to show me the very worst

with worn-out lines over rehearsed

Fabricated illusions of personal rejection

Deepen my despair and sense of neglection

You, depression a...

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I came upon a bar called The Dungeons Inn

Inside it looked to me to be the Devil’s Den

A voice said “Hey, handsome, where you been

Then she whispered in my ear just call me sin

We had some drinks and we hit the floor

Later, we needed some air and went for the door

I said in a slur you look like pure love to me

Mister, loves not something that you can see

Then she turne...

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Finley’s Favorite Ball

She has begged me, so here I am

Standing in the backyard holding a ball in my hand

It’s just an old discolored, lumpy, chewed up rubber ball

But it’s my black lab and golden retriever mix’s favorite brand

Eagerly she waits, watching me to see if I’m going to fake and stall

I cock my arm back and she’s off like a streak before I even throw

She runs in th...

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Late at night in her dreams

Faces come out and make her scream

Some are near, others far away

They never move, they never sway

Unless she moves for then they’ll chase

At a never-ending frantic pace

They never stop their haunting game

For when she awakes it’s still the same

The haunting face is still very near

She sees it watching from the mirror

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The sky was over-cast, and the clouds were gray

Just one more lovely morning that’s gone astray

I reached for my coffee as I stared through the glass

My only thought, “I should have mowed the grass.”

I watched as the wind blew about some debris

And noticed the dull aching in my arthritic knee

I took my cup and my dog out to the front porch swing

Where we sat and waited fo...

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weariness draped upon sagging bone

lethargic eyes peer through heavy lids

languished souls that weep and moan

shadows watching what can’t be hid

insipid mounds of abandoned humanity

phantoms living among the intentionally blind

diverted obligation from self-inflicted calamity

insincerity demands to leave them behind

from this anomaly you have no impunity

fate’s...

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